Katawa Shoujo Forums

Oddball wrote:She seems to suddenly shift moods and personalities, but nobody ever comments on this.

I did.

First of all I suggest you find yourself a proofreader. Punctuation, grammar and formatting could all use some work. So, will those be one shots based on different characters or different one shots based on the same character? Because the story so far is less of a one shot but more of a character in...

Which ending was followed during the KS time frame is something you'll pick up on in the story, I don't want to give too much away. I can say that the title is a big hint although before reading it might not be of that much help. If the title is supposed to be a hint, I would have to guess Molly......

Well... After what I had to say about the last chapter, you can probably guess I'm not thrilled about the dream sequence in this one. Lilly is lucid enough to have a detailed psychological analysis of herself in her dream but not enough to realize she is in a dream. This is the kind of dream you see...

Oh, and one more thing I forgot to mention: Don't sell yourself short before you've even begun publishing your story. The existing Akira route is very long and has been mostly favourably received, but it is by no means perfect. It relied on comical amounts of chance to get the ball rolling in the fi...

Well, my point was that it does not fade into a dream. It's all a very detailed account of how the evening went, complete with small reactions from Hisao's parents and even tangential inner thoughts - and then it abruptly changes to a nightmare... I don't know about you, but for me that's not how dr...

Okay, first of all don't worry too much about grammar, language, word diversity etc. What I've seen so far is quite good. A few issues about the story so far: He has been at Yamaku for all of five days, but in the beginning of the story he makes it sound like it is a tedious routine already. Not sur...

Good to see you back! Liked both chapters - with the exception of the dream sequence. That one was a bit unfair to spring on your readers without warning. There is way too much detail in the first 95% of the scene to believably be explained as a dream. I spent some time rereading that bit a few time...

Yeah, editing... First of all you misuse the word "lay" several times in this chapter. Of course, this peaks my interest. "piques" You just need to get herself a leather jacket "yourself" Mihoshi was never good at kidding her reactions "hiding" There's a girl in my class who's body "whose" It only t...

I agree that the first few paragraphs might be seen as a bit rushed.
On the other hand this is an introduction and not the main story so this is somewhat acceptable.
On the gripping hand alll this advice should certainly be applied to future chapters

Okay... Too early to say much about this story. The writing is okay, but a word of warning about the characters: The way Kaito was talking to Ruby in this scene was less like one high schooler to another but more like a wise old grandfather dispensing the advice of a long fulfilled life to a young p...

Interesting. Of those five, KS is the only one I'd usually attribute life-changing qualities to.
Also: Car crash?

A bit late to the party... A lot has already been said praising this recent chapter, and I agree full-heartedly. So just one minore quibble... About a minute later I've reached every inch of exposed skin that I either can or that I think is important. I think that should be an AND condition not an O...

Actually there are four or five stories still being updated in the fanfiction section right now.
It's just been a quiet week

the current German season of Dancing with the Stars has a contender who has a prosthetic left leg, and he does pretty well - but it's going to be quite hard for her. Tried finding a video of him, but could find just this one: http://www.clipfish.de/special/lets-dance/video/4370306/heinrich-widmet-d...