Katawa Shoujo Forums

You're pictures are funny as usual.
*hint*

CozyRavioli wrote:Even though it's only his first appearance, I already like Chishiki more than Nomiya.

Even though he puts the same kind of pressure on her...

As always I'm going to complain about the term "neutral end"...

Nothing to complain about in the story itself, though.
Very convincing Rin; looking forward to where you're going to take this.

StilesLong wrote:Well, thanks for the feedback, mirage. I hope you'll find SOMETHING you enjoy in the next chapter

Hey, you know that I tend to focus on the negative stuff in my comments.
That also means that if I only have one or two points to criticize, the rest has to have been pretty good

Yes, and for the Hanako in the VN the reaction would be very fitting. The problem is that the Hanako in your story so far has not been nearly as unstable nor do Naomis reactions give any indication that there is a danger of triggering her. The teasing in the first chapter was a lot worse than here, ...

“if I’d known I’d be listening to so much jazz, I wouldn’t have suggested the turntable as your present.” “Good. What you said was just mean, and would have upset anyone, not j-just m-me.” ... No, I have every right to be upset. If anything, I think I showed remarkable restraint. Really? Given how ...

I've been considering using different font styles to make clear the switch between narrators. ... I may also add a brief foreword, just to make readers aware of the shifting POV. Do you think that would help? A definite NO to the first. Using different font styles is just plain lazy writing and it'...

I'm pretty sure that wherever you found that story, it wasn't on these forums.

Don't feed the troll.

It represents a thematic shift as we head into Act 3, but I don't want it to feel like a thematic shift, I want it to feel exactly like the past two acts. I tried to get some additional opinions on how it felt, but I haven't heard a consensus yet, so I'm interested to know what you think. If you do...

Oops, one small "s", big difference
I rarely use contractions outside of direct speech, so I didn't notice that one.

Saki's retrieved her phone from one of her shoes, and flipped it open. One lonely sentence written in past tense :-) Other than that an excellent chapter as always - and I'm including the H-scene in that, even though I'm not usually a fan of those. Blackmamba already eloquently explained why, so I'...

Well, given the list of missing books it certainly isn't Kenji this time around

Well... Does she? It's hard to tell confused as she is.

Frankly, the "not making sense" aspect of Hanako's thoughts is very well captured

“I said I was looking for Hisao. Last time I saw him, you took him for lunch and neither of you never came back.” Too negative :-) She lowly makes her way to the step I am on. I begin to walk down a few steps and stop to wait for her. I repeat the process one more time before I see Molly’s face win...