Katawa Shoujo Forums

It's too soon to tell if you're going anywhere interesting with the story, but I have one piece of advice right now:
Find some way to indicate the passage of time other than dozens of consecutive empty lines. It gets annoying really fast.
Looking forward to the next chapter.

I'm not quite sure how this is going to work with KS. Shizune is not the type to go on a rampage and kill of other students. Also, you might want to think of a reason why Shizune would invite exactly those people for whatever she planned - and I mean a reason other than "they are the main characters...

You should probably read this.

I'm going to take my folding machines offline for a few months. I'm going to be abroad for a while and I don't want to keep them running unsupervised. The tablet I'm taking along probably won't fold much of anything... On the bright side, when I'm back, I plan to get myself a shiny new laptop that w...

Why should it please Hivemind?

Sorry, I couldn't read more than the first few sentences of this...

Congratulations on finishing your story.
It's been a great read all the way, even if I didn't post that after every single chapter

I don't think Akira is one to be put off too much by rude behaviour, and Lilly... Well, it's quite hard to antagonize her as well.
I'd be more concerned if Hanako were there as well - I can't imagine her getting along with Yozora at all.

In my experience it's always better to be honest with your partner and address problems when they arise instead of simply acquiescing and hoping they go away on their own. You don't have to be confrontational about it - in fact I don't think Hisao was being confrontational about it at all.

I'm not quite sure the dreams are supposed to be entirely metaphoric...

"Okay, I will. Thanks, Mutou."

What? No "Mr."?

See, in the bad end, Hisao confronts the fucking problem that needs to be confronted--even people without heart conditions go about their lives trying to strike fear in each others' hearts. It's self-destructive behavior, which is generally, uh, bad. Playing the GD Batman doesn't really help you, u...

Interesting start.
I like the writing style and the flow of the story.
Some inconsistent tenses throughout the chapter. You might want to fix those.

This is a bit low, even for Shizune's standards...

This has been stated so often that I think I'll get away with answering this one:

No.
It was always planned to do exactly the five paths from Raita's original sketch.