Katawa Shoujo Forums

Depends on how long it's been working...
What does the log file say?

I don't think the narration is any more or less "blocky" in the end than in the beginning, so it's really the plot in this case. It's not even very much - mostly the part after the conversation with Misha. We go to the dorms, we play chess, we cook, eat and say good night. Nothing interesting happen...

You know this is remarkably unabsurd - for a CYOA story. There was a small non-sequitur moment, when your OC was standing at the gates one moment and was back at the accident site the next. Also, nurse letting someone with a major concussion just be on his merry way could be seen as gross negligence...

I actually seem to have missed this update...
It's nice, but the last third or so drags a bit too long without much happening.
Do you have any plot for this other than simply a slice of life story?

Well, having everyone being virtually indestructible is a surefire way to take tension out of a story... Or if you want to put them in real danger, the story could get pretty gory quickly. So is this godstone stuff actually x-men canon, or did you make that up? I made it up. and I suppose possibly ...

As Hanako gets drunk, your typos increase in number radically. I assume that is completely intentional, is it not?

I do not thi k they would give foreign students harder english tests... What would be the purpose?

Well, having everyone being virtually indestructible is a surefire way to take tension out of a story...
Or if you want to put them in real danger, the story could get pretty gory quickly.
So is this godstone stuff actually x-men canon, or did you make that up?

Or you could simply decide the event happened only a few weeks before graduation. it is your story after all.
You are free to alter events to fit your story - many authors here do it. Just be sure to make it clear to the reader that you have changed something and nobody will think it was a mistake

Very interesting - certainly as good as all of your other stories and more original.
I guess this means the Silent Hill one will be delayed for a while, but as long as you substitute quality with quality

To be honest, I probably won't get to do much proofreading in the forseeable future. I am out of country until mid-July (Japan 8) ) with sometimes spotty internet connection. I try to keep up with what's posted on the forums (as well as with a lot of other stuff happening at home) but feel free to a...

Regeneration for everyone just seems a bit too convenient...

The three of you know that SC just recently pulled out the ban-hammer?
I'm not sure he put it away again...

So does this "Earth-27" you set this in exist in canon, or did you make that up?

I know my writing is not the greatest, it's been like 10 years since I wrote any fiction. And I'm not a native English speaker either. So I'd love to get some more detailed suggestions and corrections in this thread or by PM, whatever way you prefer. Well, one suggestion right there: Take your time...