Katawa Shoujo Forums

Doomish wrote:

Mirage_GSM wrote:Damn it, I thought you left this phase behind you.
Sorry. Stopped reading after the first two paragraphs.

(Also, I am unsure what you mean by 'phase', would you kindly elaborate?)

Your "Cutter" and "Apologies" phase, where everything was blood and gore.

Regarding the grammar, I advise you to look into conjugation of verbs, especially the difference between "was" and "were" or when a verb needs an "S"...

Damn it, I thought you left this phase behind you.
Sorry. Stopped reading after the first two paragraphs.

Interesting. I didn't even know Bhudism had "hells" let alone so many. (There seem to be at least 16 of them.) Guess no religion can do without some kind of threat to punish bad behaviour, though so far I thought being reborn as a beetle would be enough deterrent... I'm not sure why her boyfriend sh...

Why are you lifting lines verbatim from the VN?
It's not like there was any need to do so...
Also, your comma-use is pretty haphazard, and there are some grammar problems like "their" <> "they're".
A LOT better then your first story, though!

..., there are plenty of other girls in the game who would make for an interesting choice, like Molly, Miki, Ritsu, Ikuno, or Misaki. Or even, another OC specifically tailed to be a foil to your main character would make for an interesting story direction. Again, it's completely up to you and I won...

Just did a bit of reading up.
Seems immunosuppressant drugs are only needed for organ transplants and not for artificial limbs, organs, bones or similar things.

So his plan was to use hisao as a bait to lure out the cyberman so they could... Run away from it?

I, personally, would rather not take drugs of any kind. If someone decides the benefits of mentally controlling one's hearts functions (as opposed to have a computer do it, which would probabaly do a better job at it) justify a lifelong addiction to drugs, that is their decision. In Hisao's case the...

Also, why would you neat to "control" an artificail heart? It's not like you can control your natural one in any way. You may not realize it, but your brain subconsciously controls every part of your body; even simple things, like fingernails and corneal muscle contraction (that's your pupils, by t...

Dfinitely not enough similarities to read a VN and understand it, but I think many czechs learn russian as a foreign language at school. Used to at least...e

You are still mixing up the numbers of the classes, and you are doing it inconsistently.
Shizune is class 3-3. Lilly is class 3-2.

Though if I read it correctly, Misha cut her hair in chapter 1? The cutting of one's hair is symbolic in Japan which meant 'forgetting/moving on from unrequited love', so I don't believe she would cut her hair in that scene (because it is a requited love if I read it correctly). I always cringe whe...

Very well written. I have so far only seen a few episodes of K-on (though I hope to remedy that soon, now that the dvd box is out) but I think you have to take a few liberties with her character to make her a hard-boiled detective...

Not "down" but "down to". Subtle difference:-)