Katawa Shoujo Forums

I think you are confusing a fanfiction with an actual VN... In a fanfiction there is NO NEED for any choice to be different, because the reader is not required to make choices to lead him on one route or another. I could start another fanfiction right now and have that scene lead into a Ritsu route ...

Hoitash wrote:I aim for the head, too, but since I prefer SMG's, you see where that could be a problem.

I game a lot.

I game a lot, too, but I prefer fireballs. Doesn't matter where you aim them, because they are AoE

And I want to know if the Lilly advised Hisao to give her space misunderstanding will be resolved I don't think Lilly would be the type to give up on Hanako's friendship that easily. And if you get down to it, there's really nothing much supporting her theory once her fury has subsided and she thin...

The contemporary philosopher Slavoj Zizek once said that the way in which politically correct people express their racism is with the statement "I am not a racist, but [racist remark]". In analogy, your comment seems to be the politically correct way to say that you dislike the story, ie "I really ...

.I'm not sure how to take that comment. I think lack of tone is a problem here. I don't know if you'te being condescending or just making an honest remark. It's a short one shot; I definitely wasn't going for anything fancy. Should I make it clear that this is from Hisao's perspective in the earlie...

"...down to the quite town below."

I'm not sure I would share all my secrets with someone who is likely to pass them on to my parents...

Also, the order of your links (next, previous, first) feels a bit odd. Usually it would be the other way around.

I have to admit this story surprised me a bit... By not being surprising at all. The way you were avoiding any hints as to the narrator's gender for the first half of the story had me thinking you were building up to some elaborate reveal or other, but then you just casually mentioned Hisao's name.....

Shimmie pics are generally not canon, and in this case the comment for Miki is wrong - she obviously is in the game even if I have no idea what OTL means - so I see no reason why the other comment should be any more correct.

You've used the "accidentally meeting Miki and Suzu" for the second time now... This time quite unneccessarily since you didn't follow up with anything. And I was talking about an 'almost-confession'. She might not have said the actual words, but she was WAY more obvious than Emi was on her path, an...

I understood less than half of it, but even in the bit that I did understand there is a serious logical fault: If Kenji is Hisao and he later travelled back in time to give himself a heart attack (why he did that is one of the things I did not understand) he would never have gone to Yamaku in the or...

You're switching between past and present tense every second sentence here...

If so it's never been mentioned on the forums. You might put the question up in the "Ask" thread...

I'm sorry to say this, because your writing is really improving (and has been a lot since your first story!), but this story has not only challenged my suspension of disbelief but shot it dead in the subsequent duel. At this point I can't really take the characters seriously anymore... Which is a sh...

Please everyone/body (doesn't really matter in most cases), just stop feeding the troll.
He won't accept criticism no matter how hard you try.

The script format thing was already adressed. Otherwise, the story is pretty good so far. Two things:

"I'm aloud to smile..." -> allowed
Also one then/than mixup in there.