Katawa Shoujo Forums

You slipped up the perspective once towards the end: Strong fingers worked at paint stains, old and new, scrubbed away aches Rin hadn’t realized she had. Otherwise nice story. Seems fine to me. Hisao's fingers, scrubbing Rin. Makes perfect sense Yes, it does make sense. What I meant is that this se...

Sun Tzu was obviously a very military mind.
His writing is short and to the point. It reads kind of like a user manual for war.
Recommended reading for everyone.
And since the copyright probably expired about 2000 years ago, you should be able to find the text for free somewhere

Agree with Nemz. The dream didn't seem to add anything to the story. I didn't mind it being identified as a dream early on, since it was quite obvious anyway.
And not thar I mind gratuitious naked Emi, but why woud she be running around the kitchen in just a towel?

Verb forms.
Third person singular needs an "s"; other forms don't. At least two dozen instances of getting it wrong...

Also, the "Art of War" is a pretty short book. You can finish it in well under two hours.

Chance meeting number three...

I'd say "No arms and no legs" is plenty of reason to attend Yamaku. If anything my complaint would have been that it's a bit too much...

One thing: 44degrees of fever means Dead. Full stop. Anything above 42 degeees will result in permanent brain damage. I suggest changing that to a more realistic 40 or 40,5. Anything more is life threatening and should be treated by professionals. Also I realize that you couldn't resist having Akira...

This is the official KS forum. It doesn't get more central than that. If some authors decide to post their stories elsewhere, there's nothing you can do to force them to post here.

In the olden days we actually had to click on links if we wanted to see anything.
Sometimes I miss those times...

My opinion: If you have something meaningful to say about the story/topic, two years is okay. If you don't, two hours is too long.

Well, it's more believable than the premise of the movies... Honestly? Abberant AI versus a vast Feminist Conspiracy? I think at that point you're throwing two eggs at a wall and seeing which one dribbles to the ground first. Well... The premise of the movies is that the military computer incharge ...

Okay, if that was your intention, let me tell you that this is the most fu**ed up suicide letter this side of the rabbit hole...

There should be a thread for that somewhere in the feedback forums.
Personally I think the typos will be fixed - probably along with the first additionla language set

Hmm... I read the edited version, and I still have no idea what happened. The sequence of events doesn't seem to make sense. If the letter is two weeks old and Shizune has visited the grave before, she has to have died immediately after sending it. Or is this Shonadu place supposed to be the land of...

Well, it's more believable than the premise of the movies...