Katawa Shoujo Forums

I think this story would have benefited if it had been a bit longer. The introduction of conflict felt forced and unnatural. For example, why would Lilly walk out of the bedroom half-naked, if Hisao just went to open the door? Could have been anyone. And that's not even considering, that Lilly's hea...

Another very nice chapter. A few nitpicks though: “Okay, I think. I made the mistake of explaining to Setou that there was no such thing as masculine and feminine nouns in English: they’re all just nouns. He accused me of planning to castrate all the males in the class and ran out screaming. No prob...

Hmm... Somehow I get a bad feeling about Hisao being roommates with someone who smokes drugs.
Can't be good for his heart...

Hanako wilts a little at the hoard of people hoard -> horde “I asked L-lilly if we could use her f-families s-summer house. Her parent have said it’s okay, s-so I thought w-we could save some m-money on the hotel and stay there a few night t-too.” Hanako seems really pleased about the revelation. S...

██████████████████████████████████████████████ BEGIN H-CONTENT ██████████████████████████████████████████████ Y'see, I prefer straight up telling a part of the story rather than putting a huge pillar like this in the narrative, but, again, tastes. Normally I'd agree with you, but in this case, it m...

The only thing I wonder about is whether it was really smart to write it from Miki's POV, considering that the story seems to be specifically about Hisao and Hanako. I'll see how it goes. You think it's going to be about Hisao? I don't. I also don't think the "In a minute" is a typo. It's just Miki...

I prefer short and interesting chapters to long and long-winding ones.
This chapter luckily falls into the former category.

Don't be!
Be proud that you finished it. Too many stories never are.
Very good story. Nice OCs and everything.

But flying to Japan three times a year has to cost a pretty penny

Still the problem with the unnatural sounding dialogue. It is exacerbated by the fact that you don't use new paragraphs when the speaker/acting person changes. You have up to four different speakers in one single paragraph! About the PTSD... Does he get that every time a car goes by? That seems a bi...

Yay, Miyagi!
Two small nitpicks:
Hisao is in class 3-3, and plains are sometimes planes.

Nice stories.

The snowball story is fun, but I'm most interested in "Walk" since it's something that hasn't been done before.
Just my luck that it's the only unfinished one.

Hanako never really struck me as a character that made a ton of sense. She has a lot of trouble with emotion in general, and her logic isn't always the most... sane. I mean, we're talking about a girl who let her best guy-friend have sex with her because she thought he'd treat her like an adult. If...

First of all, if taking his pills an hourlate could kill him, his life expectation would be abysmal. The excitement is enough justification for a heart attack that you don't need to resort to that trope. More importantly, this seems to contradict everything about Hanako that has been said so far. Th...

In your case it was the fault of the school that you had to travel. No matter; it's not a big problem.
And while they do have potatoes here, it is pretty uncommon to find them on the menu in restaurants.

Okay, much better, but some things were challenging my suspension of disbelief, like: - Hisao carrying Rin all the way back to school without problems when the last time he was exhausted even just walking there. - Hisao taking off his shirt in front of a dozen people without a second thought. - Hana...