Katawa Shoujo Forums

It's well written and all, but...
I can't decide whether you're trying to rationalize Lilly's behaviour or whether you're trying to make her seem even more wretched and pathetic.

...her curves clad in an auburn floral dress... I know, pars pro toto and everything, but this just sounds weird... "Right. Nurse." She imprints the name in her mind. Now, this shouldn't be too hard :mrgreen: "I've seen patients react very differently after waking up from sedatives. With how much a...

Some people - me included - would probably have reacted badly to being put on the spot like that...

By the way, Why is Aiko telling Shizune about class 3-3's plans? Shizune should know those already, since she's in that class herself.

Thanks, but no.
In iambic pentameter every second syllable is stressed, so that would read:

Calm down!" Father says, with a soothing voice.

Would sound strange, wouldn't it with "father" stressed on the second syllable?

Damn, the longest chapters always appear when I just want to go to bed...
I think I've stated before that I'm not the biggest fan of branching Fanfictions, so I won't state it again here.

Hmm. I'm not sure where you get the 4-month coma part. First, a couple is two. If I recall correctly, in Emi's route, either her of Meiko mention Emi didn't even attend her father's funeral, and was still bedridden two months later. It's never mentioned whether she was comatose, though, and I don't...

Talking in public (like on a bus or train) is frowned on in Japan... Uh... No? Whenever there are groups or friends on a train they talk just as much as in any other place of the world. But with people who are alone the rate of mobile surfing or playing games on smartphones is much higher ;-) The l...

It's always been a site that I can't stop smiling at.

Homophones are the enemy.

She continues to breath very unevenly,

Missing an "e" here...

before wrapping me in and embrace

and there's one "d" too many here.

thirty-minute sprints Intentional? Well, if you're running for 30 minutes, you wouldn't usually call it a sprint . Sprints are 100m, 200m or 400m distances, all of which should be finished in well under 30 minutes. That's why I thought you might be sarcastic here... The rest I agree with, but if yo...

thirty-minute sprints Intentional? "And yet you're here, crying into my lap." Emi snaps. That's probably Meiko here... "Don't you 'Miss Emi' me! You don't know what I'm going through right now! You don't know how it feels to lose it all. You have NO idea!!" Meadows already mentioned it, but - this ...

Okay, Central European Time then.
Maybe she's just likes going to bed early.

With it raining out, I probably have the time to let her know I'm still alive, but it's not even seven o'clock yet – and on a Sunday. If I add in the time zone difference, she's probably asleep. So where does her mother live? China? Russia? India? The Middle East? If it were the US, it would be Sat...

Hmm, Kenji X Emi is one of te few pairings I can't remember having been done before here.
Let's see where you take it...

Well, this is as good an explanation as any for those two completely different disabilities appearing in the same family.

Even if it is, it's just a dream. She's not prescient or anything.