Katawa Shoujo Forums

Yes, quite a way to leave a first impression^^°
I was a bit surprised by this part. From the prologue, our OC didn't seem to be the kind to be influenced by Kenji so easily...

@Deviant: If that were true, I'd expect much worse injuries from people who fall down after fainting for whatever reason. Having fallen to the ground myself once after fainting without suffering any injuries at all, I wonder where you got all your information from... Edit: I'm not saying freak accid...

I think honorifics can add a lot of characterization to a story if done right. Problem is it's pretty hard to get right...
Edit:
@Oddball - In the end it's probably a matter of taste.

I have to say this is one of the most promising beginnings including an OC in quite a long time... Let's see what you make of it. Hey! No fair, all I got was a bunch of snippets and pointings-out. :P (Don't want to derail the other thread...) Well, the only thing I actually objected to was your too...

I already told you I'd be willing to.
Just send me a link to a google docs version of your story by PM.

Just a few things, I thought of wile I read: where I am going to spend the next couple years of my life. So either Matsuri is younger than Molly or this story is set before KS. “I don’t know what you’re talking about Matsuri-chan.” I don't know if this is intended, but "-chan" is usually only used b...

I have to say this is one of the most promising beginnings including an OC in quite a long time...
Let's see what you make of it.

Ah, finally the plot thickens...

"In some sick way, she's right."

Wow that's pretty harsh, coming from a doctor about the parents of a patient in the presence of the patient...

Okay... I get the feeling I know this scene already from the original KS. It's very similar to Slow Recovery. Also, if you get the day off from school because you're ill or injured, it is usually to rest . I have the feeling nurse would not be happy if he learned your OC used his free time to go off...

Works for me. I use Firefox.
If the problem persists, the Support forum would probably be a better location to solve it.

The problem about Japanese is that you can give any polysyllabic word at least a dozen different meanings depending on which Kanji you use to write it. Most of them would be extremely obscure readings that wouldn't even occur even to a Japanese native speaker without the use of a dictionary.

“in the end… we must take what we are dealt with, and do our best.”

After being dealt with, we even have to take the thing they did it with? Life sure can be cruel...

I really have no idea what is happening here, and to be honest I can't be bothered to puzzle over it long enough to figure it out... I don't generally mind crossovers, but why did you think this would make a good scenario for a crossover with KS? As for the writing, you are mixing tenses up a few ti...

Fun story so far. I really like your versions of both Taro and Miki.

If you have an account at google docs/drive (or are willing to create one) I'll be happy to proofread your story for you.
Just drop me a PM.