Katawa Shoujo Forums

Well let me say first, that Hideaki is actually 19 and his daughters are about five What? In this chapter you said they're almost six, so he became a father at thirteen? That is... let's say extremely unusual, especially in a country like Japan, and you just drop it in there like it is not a big de...

if anything, there’s just enough room for a fifth person. You probably meant "more than enough" but it seems like Emi and Rin have been shaped by their misfortunes, whereas Lilly and Hanako are who they are in spite of such things. I don't quite get what you intend to say with this sentence. And Em...

Why do all OCs have to be a) foreigners and b) new arrivals? You varied the formular a little bit by not having him arrive Monday morning, late for class and meeting Mutou in the hallway, but still... My pet peeve: Tenses. You frequently change between past and present tense in your story. Decide on...

LorSquirrel wrote:On a off note have you done any fics yourself? i recognize your username but i cant remember if i saw it in a reply to a fic or if your the who actaully made it.

All my KS fics are linked to in my signature.
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griffon8 wrote:Okay, now Yori is just being the stupidest he can be. He's just been told that he needs to keep eating, then skips breakfast and lunch.

Well, Megumi is obviously one of Chekhov's Gunmen.

Well, for starters it would be nice to have some kind of idea what is going on here. Your pov character isn't a student, so I guess he's either a teacher or he's dropping of one of his daughters. Or maybe just visiting his younger sister if the age difference is enough, she might be a student or she...

She survived a fire. In close proximity.

It's not really impossible for her to have inhaled deadly amounts of smoke to have affected her health.

Yes, but why would that manifest only many years later?

Yes, classes are on Saturday. Sunday is free like in most countries that are not in the middle east.

Which leads me to my next hurdle: how to find her.

Asking Emi where they have classes would be a good start.

There goes my mobile bandwidth for this month^^°

It's Rin's route. I think it's even been confirmed by the devs. :3

No, it's not.

It's not really bad. It's different, but there are a lot of good stories using it.
I think the combination 3rd person/present tense is a bit jarring, but even that is a matter of taste.
The other points I mentioned in my first post are in my opinion more important.

KeiichiO wrote:I'm not sure, but I think he meant characters as in letters. I could be wrong though

I'm not sure, but I think he knew that.
(Actually I am sure he knew that.)

Ah, statistics! How I love them! The following includes all spoken or narrated lines of all acts 2-4 without any consideration to branching, i.e. if a line appears two times in the script it will be counted two times here. By filesize (according to SC): #1: Shizune (658KB) #2: Rin (640KB) #3: Lilly ...

Hmm... Third person objective and present tense... Very unusual. The story reads a bit like the script of a play or a movie. Just dialogue and a little bit of direction; almost no insight into characters' thoughts, which makes for a rather dry read. The direction is a bit repetitive as well: - The N...