Katawa Shoujo Forums

Hehe, nice chapter.
I like the bit at the end, even though it's probably a bit over the top even for Rin

I agree with most of what Helbereth said: this story definitely has potential, and you should get a proofreader. It looks like you're planning for this to have four chapters, each about twice the length of wht you posted already? Ambitious for a first project, but not too much so. About the tenses h...

This is just a typo, but since you were asking for mistakes: Misha has broken at this point, and is struggling to breath e through her laughter. ...apparently not a typo: I don’t understand how anyone can breath e in those places... She is stood next to the baby girls footwear section. She stands. S...

Your three usual problems: 1.) Tenses. 2.) Reality checks. Do them from time to time. Just an example: "Fiv-fifty thousand yen says h-he'll surprise you", Hanako said. Hanako is betting more than 500$ just out of the blue? And on a bet the objective of which cannot be objectively argued with a tone ...

(Side note: The Great And Powerful Archivist may want to consider including "Major Characters" as a category). I'll consider doing this in the future, but probably only for those stories without pairings or with a third person narrator. As for pairings, I'm already only including major ones, so if ...

As the thread is currently organized it's not really possible, though. The list is sorted by the title of the story. If a thread contains more than one story and all are in one entry, by which title should the entry be sorted? The first? The longest? and it still doesn't solve the problem that the s...

Well, I only spent three months in Japan, most of that in a work-environment, and it was in 2012, so I'm not really an expert on smartphone use among Japanese youths in 2007. I can tell you that it's very hard to get an affordable temporary contract for an android phone there^^° You might find this ...

Might I suggest listing them like you do concurrent stories. All of Hoitash's tales, for instance, are listed under the H&K title. So, using that as a model, you could create a listing for the compilation with links to each internal short, and group them together. All of Hotash's stories are not un...

Well, the first few chapters happened a while back, but if I didn't comment on it before (I know I commented on inconsistent narrative mode in other stories - not sure about this one) it can't have happened very often. Even in this chapter it was only two sentences. As I said: I don't object to your...

Well, it begins as a prequel, but we can put both.

My usual nitpicks about an otherwise great story: The message said to call in the morning, but seeing as it's only seven, I decide to let him sleep. She's not going to call him all day, am I right? One of the voices is that of Joyce, and she seems to know the visitors pretty well from the way they'r...

I fixed the code and included it in my update. After dissecting Snicket's thread, this time it was Blackwaltz's. Btw, does your Emi X Hanako Fic have a title? So far i preliminarily put it as "Friends" but that's just the first chapter title, isn't it? [b][url=http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t...

Hmm. Is "Waiting" suposed to be a part of your "Friends" series?
Because the OP lists it as a one shot...

As G Bay gave way to C bay, which came before L Bay and F Bay, each populated by a increasingly erratic population, Hanako felt her head start to spin as if on a rollercoaster.

I only know E-Bay...

I think it's a mistake to focus on that single phrase, since other examples of that sort of question are peppered throughout the work. "What does she see?", "Hisao considers he might have misheard",... Yes, the "What does she see?" is another example. "Hisao considers he might have misheard", is ok...