Katawa Shoujo Forums

I'm not really sure why this even was an issue. I would be very surprised if a school the size of Yamaku had only one English teacher...

I already submitted a fix for that.
Also, stuff like "character death" or "violence" is supposed to be a warning for people who might not want to read these kinds of stories, so putting it in spoiler tags kind of defeats the purpose.

That's what I get for posting while being on Skype and in a chat simultaneously.
Multitaksing is not my forte^^°

Agreed.
Your story has been steadily improving since chapter one.
Thanks for continuing to put in the effort.

I don't expect to be involving the canon characters much, except maybe for those who would be extremely hard not to encounter, like Nurse. Yamaku's a big place, after all, and I'd like to explore some of the rest of it here. You know how to make me happy ;-) I agree with Oddball: You're off to a ve...

Well, that was a nice read - despite being kind of dark. The only thing that had me blinking for a sec (apart from Kenji being a psycho-killer, which hasn't been done enough if you ask me) was when they got from "Lilly being pushed" to "murder" without a second thought. I'd have at least considered ...

Is it ever stated where Hisao is from exactly? I could find no direct reference to either his home city, or the precise location of the fictional Yamaku Academy. Six hours by train sounded like a reasonable period of time, but if you can think of something more accurate, I'd be quite willing to mak...

Well, you stated several times that you welcome constructive criticism and feedback, even if you didn't act on it.
If you felt offended by it, you'd just have had to say the word, and I'd have stayed completely away from your thread.

Good question. I think it's the same thing as in a story about magic. The premise of the story is that there is magic, therefore you don't question it. The premise of this story could be said to be that Hisao and Rin share a dream. The dream, however, is something quite mundane. Most of us have drea...

Why aren't I awake yet...? "Why am I not..." instead of a six-hour train ride Six hours would get her almost to Hiroshima... his expression seemingly less effected, but obviously downcast. You probably meant "affected" ... and since noone posted in the meantime, I'll just add my final thoughts here...

I'll refrain from commenting on the... unpolished nature of this story and concentrate on the other issues then... Regarding Miki and Suzu: No, I don't regard those other fanfictions as canon, but if you do, you should give your readers an indication of it. In your story there is no hint to indicate...

I thought would take a slightly more "real" approach to Miki. In my opinion at least, everyone seem's to use her as a prop, a funny person. Yet honestly wouldn't she be allot more bitter? Allot more of a dark person. That approach is neither more real nor more realistic. It's simply different. As f...

First of all: If you want to edit those early chapters, do it now. I don't think many people will reread the whole thing after it's finished just to find the places where you might have changed something. If you wat until you're finished, you might as well not do it at all. In fact, I'm considering ...

And in more ways then one. It's not just that the plot progressed extremely fast, your publishing (and from your comments your writing as well) got from the beginning of the story to the first sex in only two days. It's what I told you after the first chapters: You should have taken the time to sit ...

Nice job giving a somewhat... different portrayal of Miki so far.
Might I suggest you find a proofreader, though? There are quite a few typos and other issues for such a short piece.