Katawa Shoujo Forums

Okay, first order of business: cut down on the swearing and name-calling. Then work on your descriptions. Your protagonist interacts with a female human being for half the chapter, and we have no idea who she is. Is she a nurse? An older student? A teacher? Is he meeting her for the first time? Does...

I sighed and folded; I was pretty sure Kaneo was bluffing, but George wouldn’t have kept going if he didn’t have a decent hand, Now I'm far from an experienced poker player, but statitically I'd say that the odds that someone would have a better hand than four tens are quite astronomical... 0,007% ...

I don't think that was supposed to be the reason for Mr. Satou's behaviour then

Well, when he first appeared he seemed to be lacking any social skills at all. He did not even react when spoken to and ignored Akira and Hisao both. It hasn't been that bad ever since then.

side from Lilly and I, there wasn’t anyone

"Lilly and me"

she steps between Lilly and I

dito

Otherwise a very good chapter.
It was nice to see Mr. Soto like this, even it is not quite the same Mr. Satou as the first time we met him in this story...

Erother wrote: but I still have trouble any higher level words. So in exchange I use metaphors to add to the details but I carried away very easily so I'm trying to fix that.

In that case it's interesting that you mainly seem to replace simple words with more difficult ones - see the examples I mentioned above...

Nice to see you back. I agree with nemz - this chapter was more buildup than any actual stuff happening, but you have to have chapters like that from time to time... As for the minimal proofreading, I can attest to that: for a quick shower that lasts not more than ten minutes. I wonder how long an e...

Lilly's appearance in Shizune's Act 3 has been admitted to be a continuity mistake by the devs. She was supposed to have ended up in Scotland in every ending except her own good ending. As for Rin, without Hisao there it is doubtful she would even bother to do the exhibition at all, as he was a majo...

In the real world, it is impossible to achieve a good end.
Achieving what would amount to a good end in a VN just means that from this point on you have to work constantly to keep the relationship going, and even is you do, success is not guaranteed...

Well... I sure hope your writing style will change (i.e. improve) over time, because right now it is quite atrocious. As for your question, no, calling each other by the first name doesn't imply a romantic relationship in Japan, but you should heed SC's advice anyway. If you're unfamilliar with how ...

I also think this is one of the best chapters so far. In fact, I think all your Emi PoV chapters have been very good! Maybe Hisao really would be better off with Hanako. He'll live longer, and he won't have to deal with all your baggage. I wonder why nobody - not even nurse - pointed out this fallac...

People seem to assume that if a person acts in a certain way one time that is a sure way to identify personality traits. Misha muses one time about death when she is depressed - she must be suicidal. She "manipulates" Hiao to do some work for her once - and please note that Hisao probably didn't eve...

I'd like to know if there is a person alive who hasn't ever pondered that thought when depressed...

I'd say "threatening suicide" is overstating what Misha does by a large margin.

It's a bit like coming home after a hard day at work and telling your friends to "kill me"
Nobody would really take that seriously.

This is like criticizing death metal for not being melodic. Just because you think that's how things should be, doesn't mean the world agrees with you. Was it bad? Yeah, but it was a Rocky Horror or Snakes On A Plane kind of bad. It was so bad it was awesome. It was a god damned Sharknado . I bet y...