Search found 5561 matches

by Mirage_GSM
Tue Nov 25, 2014 9:13 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]
Replies: 1559
Views: 565951

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

You forgot someone :evil:.
Meiko for one...
Rin... probably. Who can tell with her?
Someone else?
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:23 am
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Blooper Reel
Replies: 1327
Views: 456732

Re: Blooper Reel

Trypophobia[1] (/ˌtraɪpəˈfoʊbiə/, from the Greek: τρύπα trýpa "hole" and φόβος phóbos "fear") is the alleged pathological fear of objects with irregular patterns of holes, such as beehives, ant hills and lotus seed heads. While I don't have problems with either of the above, some of the image resul...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Nov 25, 2014 8:06 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]
Replies: 1559
Views: 565951

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Ch.54 posted 11/

It's good to see more of a few of the "minor" characters in this chapter. Natsume is giving off some serious CEO-vibes here and Takako's reaction in her conversation with Hanako later is priceless. Now, the next chapter is going to be interesting, but I'm even more interested to learn what became of...
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Nov 25, 2014 6:13 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (Update 7/30/17)
Replies: 227
Views: 112870

Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 11/24)

It's kinda hard to run a school with just one teacher.
Yet most other fanfiction authors seem to be blissfully unaware of that fact ;-)
by Mirage_GSM
Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:36 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (Update 7/30/17)
Replies: 227
Views: 112870

Re: Dancing: A Miki pseudo-route (updated 11/24)

It's almost 7 PM when we get back to school. ... I check my watch. "Actually, curfew's gonna go up in five more hours. Reality check: Curfew is at 1 a.m.? Some problems with tenses. An example paragraph: I wander around school unopposed and unseen. Who was is there to supervise me? The security gua...
by Mirage_GSM
Sun Nov 23, 2014 7:55 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: By Sword and Cane
Replies: 48
Views: 18218

Re: By Sword and Cane

That's Sendai, however.
Yamaku is not located in Sendai, but in a small unnamed town from where Sendai is simply the next major city - and even this much is not strictly canon...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Nov 22, 2014 6:05 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: By Sword and Cane
Replies: 48
Views: 18218

Re: By Sword and Cane

Keep in mind that you are writing a literary work. If your setting is something your readers are unfamiliar with (e.g. SciFi) then they have to rely on your descriptions in the text to visualize what's going on. This is especially true if your setting is based on something your readers ARE familiar ...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:03 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated 10/2/15]
Replies: 150
Views: 84926

Re: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated: 11/

Well, photosensitivity is not exactly something obscure... Everyone who has at one time squinted into bright sunlight can sympathize and has at least a vague inkling of what it it like... And since most people have worn sunglasses sometime, they would have an idea of what purpose tinted contacts ser...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Nov 21, 2014 11:00 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: By Sword and Cane
Replies: 48
Views: 18218

Re: By Sword and Cane

I'm having a bit of trouble following your narrative.
Why on earth are there gondolas in Yamaku? Has the school been moved to Venice?
Or did they build a ski resort somewhere close by?

Maybe a bit more description of environment would be in order...
by Mirage_GSM
Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:15 am
Forum: Feedback
Topic: thought and feedback after playing a bit of katawa shoujo
Replies: 2
Views: 3510

Re: thought and feedback after playing a bit of katawa shouj

Hanako's path felt to me a bit...well...unfinished? kind of? I realize that the focus is about hanako's problems more then the romantic aspect of things,but i cant help to feel like I want to see more,just when they started to have any kind of relation it just ends. Well, yes. That's when the story...
by Mirage_GSM
Wed Nov 19, 2014 8:31 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated 10/2/15]
Replies: 150
Views: 84926

Re: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated: 11/

A pair of dark slacks lays crumpled in the corner lies This isn’t good news. I came down here in the hopes of finding some kind, any kind of restaurant to satisfy my self-consuming hunger. Now, it looks like everything’s either closed for the day, or is in the process of closing. That's one danger ...
by Mirage_GSM
Wed Nov 19, 2014 6:36 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Crimson Route [Act Two, Scene Eight Up]
Replies: 70
Views: 34346

Re: A Crimson Route [Act Two, Scene Seven Up]

None of the three of us can even really remember why me and Fumiko seemed happier "Fumiko and I" ...plus one past tense that snuck in that I can't find again right now^^° Again a very good chapter. Her youngest sister reminds me a bit of a toned down version of Hisao's youngest from Hoitash's stori...
by Mirage_GSM
Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:50 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated 10/2/15]
Replies: 150
Views: 84926

Re: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated: 11/

I'd like to point out that discussing this publically would be a very good example of tipping your hand too early. Well, it wouldn't exactly have been a major plot point, and it wasn't going to be in the story anymore anyway... My original plan was nothing because it was nearing a week since the la...
by Mirage_GSM
Sun Nov 16, 2014 5:20 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated 10/2/15]
Replies: 150
Views: 84926

Re: Universal Gravitation: An Aoi Pseudo-Route [Updated: 11/

Oh, you don't have to cover him taking the retest - simply changing the final line of the chapter would fix this.

But if you don't mind me asking what was your original plan for this?
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Nov 15, 2014 8:57 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Crimson Route [Act Two, Scene Eight Up]
Replies: 70
Views: 34346

Re: A Crimson Route [Act Two, Scene Six Up]

So after all this build-up she's "just" a haemophiliac? I have to admit I expected something a bit more... severe after all the reactions of Emi, Shizune etc. Haemophilia is certainly not something that preculdes sufferes from going on walks on their own or playing soccer^^° As opposed to 50 years a...