Katawa Shoujo Forums

I don't think Hisao is an asshole in this scene. Yes, he is losing his temper, but from his perspective he is completely justified in doing so. He IS telling Rin his feelings in complete honesty, and in my opinion this confrontation HAS to happen in order to make the good end possible - in fact almo...

Oddball wrote:a giant cliffhanger

You are evil.

Please take another fifteen seconds to find a list of Japanese given names and do something about "Azazel" In Japanese it would probably come across as 'Azazeru'. That's not what I meant. Whether it's the English spelling or a faux-romanized Japanese one, as long as he has that name I'll always exp...

Who of you wrote Iwanako's letter?

Your writing comes off as very mechanical because you haven't added much beyond the bare details of "A said this, B said that." This leaves your reader without much to go on when picturing the scene themselves. Very much this! I'd like to point you to another post in the tips thread (which you migh...

Well, if that particular twist hadn't been coming, I'd have complained that this story contradicted canon, so...

On Music:
If you want to use it, make it as unobtrusive as possible - some people will want to read the story without it.

Suzu and Taro—who from here, look like nothing more than a one and a zero.

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this.

Bitch Suzu hasn't been done before I think. Glad to see someone take the risk of offending the resident Suzuites.

And great job on the last scene. Beautifully done!

“I invited them all to my thirtieth birthday party,...

Whoa, I didn't realize Ryouta was THAT old

I'm not sure how she fairs but

"fares"

I wonder how long this gates been here for?

"gate's"

Just a little update, is it?

Usually, when someone decrlares from the start that they are going to write a whole route for their first piece of fanfiction ever, I get ready for the worst. In this case I don't think I need to worry too much. :-) One minor thing: Most new authors tend to use too few line breaks, making their text...

Consider me even more intrigued than I was before.
And it seems it wasn't an airhead-day after all...

“I just wanted to thank you… for setting me straight at the festival last week.

You did specify...

Okay, that was a bit... bizarre? That is, even more bizarre than Rin usually is. ^^° Emi too - she's reacting a bit too strongly and too quickly to Saki's intrusion. On the other hand we now have a clearer picture of where this story is going. A bit about the timeline: I'm pretty sure in chapter one...

A good start, though I'm not a great fan of copying the characterization of non-canon characters from other fan-fictions, since I think it stifles creativity. For Saki specifically every new author seems to copy that "each minute is a diamond" line ^^° One thing you should keep an eye on is the plac...