Katawa Shoujo Forums

HarvestmanMan wrote:My first time writing a snuff fiction, or whatever the fuck kids call it nowadays, is upon us. Flee while you can.

I should have known something was going wrong, because 'snuff' is usually a reference to snuff films. But at least you didn't go that crazy.

Well. I read it. I was entertained.

But I am never reading it again.

1: Okay, that could be interesting. Perhaps even plausible.

2: Nice, Hanako becomes an assassin.

3: What.

tony246 wrote:Just to clarify, Mutou is not a psychic spy.

Oh, sure. That's what they want you to think.

GibGabGoo wrote:Also, yes, I'm planning on having Hisao in the story as a regular character at some point.

You'll have to change the timeline then. KS takes place in 2007. Unless you're planning on him being one of the teachers; if so, carry on.

themocaw wrote:Well. Sometimes you get an idea in your head that won't go away until you write it down. They're not always good ideas, though.

That's what's happened with two of my stories. I'm hoping the next one I've started formulating doesn't do that to me though. I think it's going to be another long one.

But her next words throw me off guard. “W-W-W-We never left, Hisao.” She chokes out.

Yeah, saw that coming.

Pulled back a few of the Rin-isms. Going to go back over it later with a razor of editing and pare it down to essentials. Ah, no wonder I was wondering what people were talking about. Seemed a good level of Rinish behavior to me. But then, she's my least favorite girl (which means very little reall...

Doesn't Hanako also have good relationships with the other members of the newspaper club? Even if her relationship with Naomi is the best, that would mean—presumably—that Hanako has friends in which she doesn't hold a romantic interest.

I really enjoy the concept of this. Get someone else to look at it first though; your tenses are all over the place, even in the same sentence.

the air tensed in every second that passed in silence as I fidget, squirmed, and sighs upon the many gazes

Nice one. Short and to the point.

Did notice one error:

A protective blanket is placed over myme, shrouding me in darkness. I can hear the loud shriek of a circular saw cutting through metal.

Hmm, I was sure three of the Rin decisions led to staying in the art club and three led to quitting it, but I wouldn't have bet money on it.

Another great chapter. This is in my head cannon by God it is. (Damnit Hisao, put a ring on her finger.) You've got a head cannon? That is so cool. How difficult is it to reload? What's the bore size? What's… Oh, oh, you mean canon . Sorry, that's not as interesting. :twisted: Damn edit mode. Shut ...

Yeah, but this helps those just looking for the quick way to get the good ends.

Nice work! I like how you took my suggestion to make the act splits more explicit and used that to add additional art to the backgrounds. One mistake I noticed. In Act 1, the purplish line that indicates you can choose between the Lilly/Hanako branch and the Shizune branch in 'Lunch Evolution Theory...