Katawa Shoujo Forums

I think this premise is kinda cute! I always think it's fine truly getting inside the head of characters like this, especially someone with complex mental/emotional issues like Hanako. The writing was fairly good, you had a couple sentences that didn't flow quite right. May have been lack of comma o...

Emi simply nods and follows me as I turn on my heels, jogging off in the direction of my apartments. I can see them from the bus stop so it isn’t too far, but I have no desire to stay in this weather any longer than necessary. I think it should be "my apartment" or "my apartment comp...

Damn. That was a really intense read. Your portrayal of the KS characters was very good and description of all the medical knowledge makes me think you know a thing or two

I'm writing separate paths for each character. That's quite the ambitious project considering the number of characters you have here. It will also be quite difficult to post them and follow them properly here on the forum. Not sure how you plan on going about it, such as one character at a time or ...

I never read the original, but I see that you updated! You should have posted a reply so we knew! Based on what Req said the rewrite is definitely better. The flow is a little off in places but nothing significant. The inner dialogue has improved so have the interactions with Kaito not being the wis...

No worries, man. Intros can definitely be short, but this just felt a little shorter than what it should be. As for the character bios, I'll tell you what someone else will tell you: You shouldn't tell us about them, the story should tell us everything we need to know. That being said, your characte...

Is this the entire chapter? It's quite short. Very very short if I'm honest. I like the premise of the story it's interesting, but that's all I can say with this little information. As for the writing and such, there is a bit of work to be had. “No.” The silver haired boy spoke up. Since the non-dia...

Love the latest updated Rigatoni! Your writing style is so pleasant and comical. Akira's personality seemed pretty spot-on to me. I also enjoyed their banter about fecal matter

If the title is supposed to be a hint, I would have to guess Molly... Not quite sure what to make of this yet, so I'll withhold further comment until there are more chapters. That's what I was hoping people would guess :cool: Hopefully there will be a bit more details for you to comment on next cha...

This is absolutely hysterical! Loved it!

As I look around this part of the building, I realize I don’t actually know where everything is. Almost everytime I come and go from this office I’m escorted into and out of it. The area I’m standing appears to be some sort of lounge. There’s an orange-brown leather couch with two matching chairs fa...

Arc 1: Clearing The Fog Chapter 1: Waking Up I hear constant beeping, or is that just in my head? There are flashes of white all around me. I hear screams now, a girl’s voice. The beeping gets faster. More shouts, a man’s voice this time. My body goes stiff, I can’t move. The beeping turns into a c...

[Hopefully a spot for cover art someday!] Hello there, I'm Zerebos. You may know me from commenting on one of your fics—I've read a ton of them. But I figured it's my turn to actually write one! Disclaimer Just a quick disclaimer that I am an engineer with a very interesting background in writing a...

Another great section gibzx! There is way too much detail in the frist 95% of the scene to believably be explained as a dream. See the way I saw it was that the line between reality and the dream blurred so some of that build up is reality and at some point fades into dream. I think the way it's wri...

This feels like a breath of fresh air here in the Renai. I really like the tone that's set in the writing. The Hisao in the beginning reminds me of the Hisao in my (unreleased) fic, it's kinda cool. "WELL, FEEL BETTER. OKAY?" "YOU TOO." You too? What is wrong with me? "MAYBE...