Search found 87 matches

by Zerebos
Mon Jan 08, 2018 1:18 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 1/12)
Replies: 1056
Views: 287909

Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 1/6)

Great update as always Euro. I really enjoyed the interactions between Saki and Hisao during their night together—the playful banter, the kind words. It all felt real and warm. The writing itself was great, makes me wish I could capture scenery and thoughts the way you do. Only thing I didn't really...
by Zerebos
Tue Jan 02, 2018 3:10 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Our Holiday Vacation — A Shizune One-shot & 8S Submission
Replies: 8
Views: 1397

Re: Our Holiday Vacation — 8S Submission

First, I want to say thank you to everyone for the kind words. I really didn't think this would be so well received as I've never written Shizune before nor do I usually do such fluffy pieces.That said, I rather enjoyed writing it and might have to think about doing happier writing in the future in ...
by Zerebos
Mon Jan 01, 2018 8:25 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)
Replies: 9
Views: 2147

Re: Two Turtledoves (Lilly x Hisao S8 oneshot)

This story was really cute Euro. I think you did fairly well with the Lily POV. Although towards the beginning she seemed a little too improper/relaxed for my headcanon. That quickly changed when you used the phrase: so we have to get through it to get to the mall proper I don't know why but that fe...
by Zerebos
Sun Dec 31, 2017 1:18 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Our Holiday Vacation — A Shizune One-shot & 8S Submission
Replies: 8
Views: 1397

Our Holiday Vacation — A Shizune One-shot & 8S Submission

Your Prompt: Hisao and Shizune go on a trip to (someplace not near Yamaku, urban enough to have like...a mall or something idk), temperatures drop really quick so they have to go shopping for temporary winter clothes to survive their trip. Fluffy waterside scene with snow and stuff encouraged but n...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:37 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: From Tokyo To Mumbai
Replies: 13
Views: 3328

Re: From Tokyo To Mumbai

Thanks for the kind words to both of you! Scratchy, I was doing my best to make sure it's a bit different than the norm, and good catch on the nod to Yamaku. Sharp-O, if you're scratching your beard then I'm doing something right :D Is it bad if it took me multiple reads of that to figure out the er...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:25 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 214100

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Happy Birthday, Misha!

What a way to return Prof, you end the cliffhanger but tease us with his parents being in town and him unable to leave for break. I've never had such mixed feelings for a chapter before. I probably didn't have as much of a rollercoaster as Hisao being messed with by the Nurse going back and forth be...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 2:00 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Star Watchers
Replies: 5
Views: 1187

Re: Star Watchers

I took the risk to download it and I thought it was a pretty cute story. There were some formatting issues, see the pinned thread "tips for writers" and you should be set on that. Other than that there was just a few points in the beginning where you seemed to use very short non-flowing sentences, p...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:39 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 3/8)
Replies: 72
Views: 20778

Re: Mask Off: A Molly Route (Update 10/31)

And the tension between the legless ladies grows. I know this is supposed to be a Molly route but with how forward and persistent Emi is being it almost feels like she could win out and make it her own story. That being said, he'd be a fool to not go with your Molly, who we are finally starting to l...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:04 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 1/12)
Replies: 1056
Views: 287909

Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (New Artwork 9/17)

Latest chapter is fantastic as always Euro. Your depiction of a couple like them having their first time felt wholesome and real. There was no "heart can't take this" gimmick either so bonus points. Definitely nice to see them progressing in their relationship, wonder how this kind of step will tran...
by Zerebos
Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:42 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Sep 29th, 2019)
Replies: 204
Views: 53805

Re: COM(promise) - A Miki Route (Updated Sep 5th, 2017)

Whoops, looks like I never commented on the update on here. I really like the progression we see in these chapters, the interactions feel very real. And I'd have to agree with Mirage there's not much of a tone shift, so don't worry, all is well!
by Zerebos
Thu Jul 06, 2017 12:33 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: StilesLong's One-shots - The Secret Santa
Replies: 23
Views: 4530

Re: Blackout [One-shot]

Probably both :lol: I will make another comment on the fic though, I really like the snow analogy for some reason.
by Zerebos
Wed Jul 05, 2017 2:47 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: StilesLong's One-shots - The Secret Santa
Replies: 23
Views: 4530

Re: Blackout [One-shot]

To substitute for commas, parentheses or colons you use am Em-dash which is slightly longer than an En-dash or a hyphen. I have been trying to tell people—the ones I betaread for—about using Em dashes as well with little success. Although, I think what Visionary was getting at was the phrasing of t...
by Zerebos
Wed Jul 05, 2017 12:21 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: StilesLong's One-shots - The Secret Santa
Replies: 23
Views: 4530

Re: Blackout [One-shot]

I think this premise is kinda cute! I always think it's fine truly getting inside the head of characters like this, especially someone with complex mental/emotional issues like Hanako. The writing was fairly good, you had a couple sentences that didn't flow quite right. May have been lack of comma o...
by Zerebos
Tue Jun 27, 2017 10:33 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Ungraceful Reunion - An Emilogue (Chap 4 - Updated 2/20/19)
Replies: 18
Views: 4172

Re: Ungraceful Reunion - An Emi Epilogue (Back from the dead

Emi simply nods and follows me as I turn on my heels, jogging off in the direction of my apartments. I can see them from the bus stop so it isn’t too far, but I have no desire to stay in this weather any longer than necessary. I think it should be "my apartment" or "my apartment complex/building" t...
by Zerebos
Fri Jun 23, 2017 2:49 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Visionary's Writing - Everything, Nothing, Red, and Green
Replies: 18
Views: 2811

Re: One Little Day and A Call to Yamaku

Damn. That was a really intense read. Your portrayal of the KS characters was very good and description of all the medical knowledge makes me think you know a thing or two :wink: