Search found 125 matches

by pip25
Sun Jul 14, 2013 12:28 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Redshift - Rika Route [10/2]
Replies: 101
Views: 21673

Re: Redshift - Rika Route [7/13]

Guestimate wrote:
pip25 wrote: Stood up? Gave up?
Nah, that's a common turn of phrase in certain regions.
My, what a strange phrase. Looks like I learned something new today as well. :) What does it mean? Stopped abruptly, perhaps?
by pip25
Sat Jul 13, 2013 8:39 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Redshift - Rika Route [10/2]
Replies: 101
Views: 21673

Re: Redshift - Rika Route [7/13]

I think I found a missing word here:
She never gave me a reason for her disappearance, she just up and stopped talking to me.
Stood up? Gave up?
Otherwise, nice chapter. You do seem to continue introducing new characters, and I'm interested in seeing what will come out of all this. :)
by pip25
Sat Jul 13, 2013 7:13 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)
Replies: 907
Views: 384382

Re: A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)

Okay, I just finished Act 3, but I can't keep going any longer. I need a breather, and at the risk of making myself look stupid again, I'll try to review these parts before moving on to the last act sometime later. First of all, I can see now that there is a good reason why this thread is 57 pages l...
by pip25
Sat Jul 06, 2013 6:11 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The Reqroom: Short Stories
Replies: 11
Views: 1954

Re: The Reqroom: Short Stories

Nice! :D I agree with BlackWaltzTheThird, this "personal log" style seems to fit Kenji's character really well. :)
by pip25
Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:36 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop (New: 30th Apr 2014)
Replies: 144
Views: 52243

Re: BlackWaltz's One-stop Oneshot Shop (New: 6th July)

And since this thread has just been updated, I feel absolutely no shame in bumping it with the completely nonconstructive critique that I truly loved "The Game". ;) I had some sort of suspicion that the rest of the girls following Hisao was not something Rin had anticipated, but the ending still gav...
by pip25
Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:59 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Redshift - Rika Route [10/2]
Replies: 101
Views: 21673

Re: Flowing Red - Rika Route [7/5]

Mirage_GSM wrote:So... Which is it? :lol:
Apparently, Hisao isn't very sure himself. ;)
This is exactly what I love about first person narration; you can get away with all sorts of inconsistencies because people themselves are often inconsistent in their views. :)
by pip25
Fri Jul 05, 2013 6:14 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Redshift - Rika Route [10/2]
Replies: 101
Views: 21673

Re: Flowing Red - Rika Route [7/5]

I'm not sure what the problem is with this chapter either, it came out pretty well. It was interesting how you turned Hisao's recollection of the previous day into a dream, and the astronomy club is a nice idea that lets Rika and Hisao meet aside of the previous chance encounters. Good to see one of...
by pip25
Wed Jun 26, 2013 5:21 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Redshift - Rika Route [10/2]
Replies: 101
Views: 21673

Re: Flowing Red - Rika Route [6/23]

Hey, this is shaping up to be a fun story. :) Rika's got an interesting personality from what I've seen so far, and I'm quite looking forward to see where this will go. Most things that occurred to me, good and bad, had been said already by others, so I won't bore you with going through them again; ...
by pip25
Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:43 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Direction (post Rin neutral ending)(complete)
Replies: 111
Views: 34433

Re: Direction (post Rin neutral ending)(complete)

A truly remarkable story. I wouldn't have guessed you wrote "The Coin" as well, given how different the two fics feel from what I remember, but it does explain a few things regarding quality. ;) The characters were pretty great. Hisao certainly grew but still remained himself, which was perhaps the ...
by pip25
Sun Jun 16, 2013 11:42 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 6/15)

(I do appreciate the feedback, and certainly hope that I'm not scaring anyone off with my essays on why I'm right. I'll try to cut back if people feel it's distracting or otherwise detrimental to the story.) Don't you dare! ;) Or at least I, for one, greatly appreciate it when the author responds t...
by pip25
Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:18 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 5/26)

Please don't get started with this again. That was one line in act 1, and in the context that she and Shizune wanted Hisao to fetch something for them. Contrast that to the fact that there are plenty of scenes with her on the roof - in at least one of which she's carrying lots of stuff - and that t...
by pip25
Sun Jun 16, 2013 8:27 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 5/26)

Huh. Am I forgetting something important and need to re-read the rest of the story? Because that don't make sense. How did the doctors even come to think there's something to test for? Are there symptoms, is there an actual reason anyone thinks Misha might have a disability? Well, we do know that M...
by pip25
Tue Jun 11, 2013 7:28 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 5/26)

I think you're misreading what I'm saying there. He recognizes that Misha exists, sure, but he doesn't really treat her as a person. He doesn't ask Misha to tutor him - he accepts her offer to tutor him when she expresses concern that he isn't taking his studies seriously. In the entire first half,...
by pip25
Tue Jun 11, 2013 3:25 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 5/26)

Oh look, more discussion. Thanks for the reply. :) I understand perfectly that it's simply too early to disclose some of the plot or characterization decisions; I guess I will just have to wait and see. I have to say, though, this paragraph greatly surprised me: In Shizune's route, for the most par...
by pip25
Mon Jun 10, 2013 6:02 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212222

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (New Chapter 5/26)

First of all, the narrator is Hisao, and if he is dating Misha, the narration will naturally focus on her with Shizune relgated a bit to the background. The preferences of the narrator will only get you so far. Compare this route to Hanako's or Lilly's route, for instance: you don't see either of t...