Search found 13 matches

by Andonymos
Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:38 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: What Lies Beneath: Updated 5/15/12 Chapter 5 now up
Replies: 49
Views: 7883

Re: What Lies Beneath: Updated 5/15/12 Chapter 5 now up

Hey, it's looking great so far. I just noticed a couple small errors that bugged my eye. When quoting inside of a quote, you're supposed to use apostrophes. When Hisao is "talking" to Rin, for example, she should say, "I meant the other 'red,'" with an apostrophe, followed by quotations, at the end....
by Andonymos
Thu Jun 07, 2012 6:35 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]
Replies: 7
Views: 2352

Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Quite nice. Good to see a Rin continuation that doesn't skip the rest of the school year. If you continue this, I recommend creating a new reply rather than adding to your first post. I almost missed the fact that you changed it between my first looking at this thread and my reply. Glad you liked i...
by Andonymos
Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:13 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]
Replies: 7
Views: 2352

Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

I think it's a good start. One minor nitpick, though: Rin falling asleep on command kind of threw my suspension of disbelief on the floor and stomped on it's head. That happens in the game, no? On the bench during the fireworks. And in the atelier, after the h-scene. No less, I added some space in ...
by Andonymos
Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:24 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]
Replies: 7
Views: 2352

Re: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [WIP]

# 2 wrote:I think it's a good start. One minor nitpick, though: Rin falling asleep on command kind of threw my suspension of disbelief on the floor and stomped on it's head.
That happens in the game, no?
On the bench during the fireworks. And in the atelier, after the h-scene.
by Andonymos
Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:20 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End
Replies: 13
Views: 4178

Re: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End

That would make him the second youngest winner of a Nobel Prize. The youngest was 25. The next four were all 31. All of those were in physics. The youngest winner in medicine was 32. And he did it in 1923. Whatever. It's your story. Don't let me stop you. Like I said, I enjoyed it. No problems. The...
by Andonymos
Mon Jun 04, 2012 4:22 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]
Replies: 7
Views: 2352

Sweaty Summer Slumber~ Rin Good End [complete?]

Original paste: http://pastebin.com/4xfLia8K Now entering it's last stages. Not sure if I want to push through and try my hand at smut, but this is as far as the "story" portion of the writing will go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Something is poking my head, trying to wake ...
by Andonymos
Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:03 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End
Replies: 9
Views: 1768

Re: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End

Mirage_GSM wrote:
Andonymos wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:I think this is one of the best Rin pov stories I've ever read... Not that there are very many but still!
Y-you too.
Yeah, why?
Uh... it's a parody of a nervous person thanking someone.
by Andonymos
Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:59 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End
Replies: 13
Views: 4178

Re: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End

TheSongofRaven wrote:Ok, so Hisao is passed away and....his eyes was given to Lilly ? Man, this was so sad :(
No, his research lead to Lilly gaining her eyesight back. But all that's left of him are pictures.

That's a great idea, though. I wish I could have tied that in...
by Andonymos
Fri Jun 01, 2012 10:47 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End
Replies: 13
Views: 4178

Re: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End

Seriously Great, still very gut wrenching (I forgot I had read this on your pastebin and thought it was a repost) Gah, I forgot the original paste, didn't I? It's in there now. Beautiful story.No idea what else to say... Glad you liked it. Very nice. I knew how it was going to end, but it was still...
by Andonymos
Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:43 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End
Replies: 13
Views: 4178

Pictures of Lilly ~ Lilly Good End

Okay. Another write that I did, though I remember this one not being terribly well received. I like it, though. http://pastebin.com/9nAe4nFv Original idea was from an Anon, posted a couple months ago. If you read this, thanks. Title is from "Pictures of Lily," by The Who. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Not sure if ...
by Andonymos
Fri Jun 01, 2012 7:25 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End
Replies: 9
Views: 1768

Re: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End

I think this is one of the best Rin pov stories I've ever read... Not that there are very many but still! Y-you too. It's pretty good, although the characterization seems to shift a bit. In the beginning, Rin seems far too normal, you even make a point of saying she's not weird anymore, but a few m...
by Andonymos
Thu May 31, 2012 9:06 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End
Replies: 9
Views: 1768

Re: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End

Still, I wonder what it is about the neutral ending that people just won't leave alone despite feeling like the most honest ending. Sometimes things just don't work out, people. Happy endings are lies created by stopping the story when it's most convenient. I would have ended it at the part where R...
by Andonymos
Thu May 31, 2012 8:15 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End
Replies: 9
Views: 1768

Where the Painting Should Be ~ Rin Neutral End

Hello, KS Forums.I'm completely new here. I've posted a couple stories on 4chan in the past, and an Anon suggested I come here in order to improve my writing, and my stories. So, here I am. This was my first completed work of fiction, but I'm fairly satisfied with the outcome. Please enjoy. ~~~~~~~~...