Search found 2820 matches

by Oddball
Thu Nov 21, 2019 1:01 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Saviors from the Flames
Replies: 12
Views: 563

Re: Saviors from the Flames

The story starts off rocky. Emi and Hanako just happen to run into each other and run into the firefighter that saved Hanako's life all at the same time. That's one heck of a coincidence, especially for so early in the story. Also, you should really avoid using honorifics in your work. KS doesn't us...
by Oddball
Tue Nov 12, 2019 3:55 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: PsychicSpy's Oneshot Thread (11/18/19 Update)
Replies: 11
Views: 452

Re: "I'm Here for You" One-Shot

Very nice short story. I do agree that having Hanako tell Misha exactly what happened is a bit much, bu otherwise it works well.

I would rephrase the opening few lines though. Warm Water Hitting Hanako and Shuddering with Sobs is a bit heavy on the alliteration.
by Oddball
Mon Nov 11, 2019 11:42 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20191111 Two Old & Colourful Pieces)
Replies: 1806
Views: 250655

Re: Yamaku Book Club (two different stories)

We're going to look at TWO stories this time. Because I feel like it. Maybe I just have party on my mind. Both are really short. Both are really old. https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png Yamakus' Annual Sweet Rave Party by SnigendePind . Because sometimes we need to look at bad ideas too. This is one of ...
by Oddball
Sun Nov 10, 2019 8:32 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Saturday in the Garden with Emi
Replies: 5
Views: 173

Re: Saturday in the Garden with Emi

That's a very lovely piece of work with strong characterization for the both of them. Lilly and Emi play off each other well. Emi keeps pushing her boundaries, asking questions, and being perfectly blunt, with Lilly trying to stay more restrained. I think for the most part it worked out well, althou...
by Oddball
Sun Nov 10, 2019 2:45 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Falling Up and Down (Updated : 14/11/2019)
Replies: 5
Views: 277

Re: Falling Up and Down

Interesting take on the characters and the story itself seems to have lots of potential. The only thing that gets to me is the shift in protagonists. It seemed like you were building Miki up to be the POV character only to drop her. I mean, you're only two chapters in so far, so she might make a com...
by Oddball
Mon Nov 04, 2019 1:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Pablo Posts One-shots Here I Guess - Updated 10/26/2019
Replies: 6
Views: 261

Re: Pablo Posts One-shots Here I Guess - Updated 10/26/2019

That was quite a fun little romp. You do an interesting version of Suzu. Not quite what i would expect but at the same time not different enough where it doesn't feel like a new character you made up.
by Oddball
Mon Oct 28, 2019 11:57 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Crafty's One-Shots (Oct 26th, 2019: Someone Part 2)
Replies: 76
Views: 5951

Re: Crafty's One-Shots (Oct 26th, 2019: Someone Part 2)

Very interesting set up. The story itself had a very calm feeling to it almost to the point of being dreamy. I think skipping out exactly on what Emi saw was a good idea and keeping it vague even when it was mentioned really helped set the mood. Too much detail would have only served for shock value...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20191111 Two Old & Colourful Pieces)
Replies: 1806
Views: 250655

Re: Yamaku Book Club (A KS Supernatural/Horror Fic)

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png It's Halloween season, so let's read a Halloween type story! Inkyukasu - A KS Supernatural/Horror Fic by Bricktycoon. Sometimes we read complete stories. This time we read the start of a story that was never continued. ... Unless of course that WAS intended to be the...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 24, 2019 12:22 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: StilesLong's One-shots - From a quiet place
Replies: 21
Views: 4102

Re: StilesLong's One-shots

That story with the cat is probably the cutest I have ever seen Shizune written. Wonderful good. Even in the really short amount of time this story took, you made the shopkeeper into an interesting character and I would have liked to see more of his relationship with Shizune as she got older. Even t...
by Oddball
Wed Oct 16, 2019 11:00 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Arrival [updated 10-31-18]
Replies: 22
Views: 2201

Re: Arrival [updated 10-31-18]

This was a wonderful little story. I love stories where characters arrive and don't immediatly just go to class. You do a great job handling Hanako here, making her so withdrawn that she's wiling to starve herself rather than incovinecne anyone is a a very nice touch. Personally, I had always though...
by Oddball
Wed Oct 09, 2019 11:04 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Looking for Shizune Cosplayer
Replies: 5
Views: 424

Re: Looking for Shizune Cosplayer

Good job
by Oddball
Sun Oct 06, 2019 12:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Unforeseen Consequences, Katawa Shoujo Forums Edition
Replies: 50
Views: 3620

Re: Unforeseen Consequences, Katawa Shoujo Forums Edition

This is certainly better than your first attempt at the story. However while Angus is now a far more less cliche character, he also tends to lack a lot of personality. The fact that he's able to walk around, talk, and hang out with the main cast with no real problems makes him feel less like a forei...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 03, 2019 2:14 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20191111 Two Old & Colourful Pieces)
Replies: 1806
Views: 250655

Re: Yamaku Book Club (works from Cpl Crud)

https://i.imgur.com/sGUCaOc.png I really wanted to do an update for the Bookclub today, but over the past few days I've read a ton of stories and I'm a bit read-out. All the stories I read were new ones too, so I don't want to use them here. Instead, we'll read ... this. A reply to Iwanako by sam70...
by Oddball
Thu Oct 03, 2019 10:44 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Crafty's One-Shots (Oct 26th, 2019: Someone Part 2)
Replies: 76
Views: 5951

Re: Crafty's One-Shots (Sep 21st, 2019: Someone)

One early thing that bothers me in the story is how you make it seem like Emi has locked herself away for quite sometime, but it feels like if she did that, somebody would have checked on her before now. You do have Miki come after her, but the timing and description feels somewhat off. Just by sayi...
by Oddball
Tue Oct 01, 2019 10:07 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Miracles,Kilts and Lilys
Replies: 2
Views: 207

Re: Miracles,Kilts and Lilys

The very first line you use “u” instead of “you”. Next line … Lilly was not a big fan of this idea. She’s now 18 years alive You switched tenses on me. You actually switch tenses quite a bit thoughout the story. Might want to work on that. Also... “eighteen years alive?” I know what you mean, but th...