Search found 5442 matches

by Mirage_GSM
Wed Jan 15, 2020 11:11 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: PsychicSpy's Oneshot Thread (1/13/19 Update)
Replies: 22
Views: 1221

Re: PsychicSpy's Oneshot Thread (1/13/19 Update)

I agree that with the exception of that single paragraph this story was more hopeful than depressing.
You have a LONG way to go to reach Feurox-levels of anguish and torment. (Tip: You don't have to :wink: )
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Jan 14, 2020 12:09 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 1/12)
Replies: 1056
Views: 285538

Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 1/12)

Thanks for the Update!

One minor thing: In the beginning you write Saki's brother is there on "family business".
Later on it becomes clear that it is a business trip for the family business... Technically correct, but still misleading.
by Mirage_GSM
Tue Jan 14, 2020 11:16 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Switching Dynamics - A Ritsu Pseudo-Route (Properly)
Replies: 8
Views: 619

Re: Switching Dynamics - A Ritsu Pseudo-Route (Properly)

Tense issues are almost completely gone, except present tense of "could" is "can".

Every time I read about "male" and "female" dorms I have to fend of the mental picture of two dorms making love to one another trying to convceive little dormitories... :roll:
by Mirage_GSM
Sun Jan 12, 2020 5:51 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 9
Views: 252

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Hello and welcome back! I don't have a lot to add to what Feurox already wrote: Your OC is talking extremely formal - more so than the Lilly in this story, who in turn is talking more formally than the Lilly in the VN. That said, if you know that and did it intentionally there's no problem. One thin...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:51 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Missing Stars
Replies: 7
Views: 439

Re: Missing Stars

Oh, they were definitely inspired by KS. In fact the provisional title of that game was "Mentaru Shoujo" before they changed it to "Missing Stars", and the idea started here shortly after the full version of KS came out. And here is a fanfiction by someone who went on to become an author of Missing ...
by Mirage_GSM
Sat Jan 11, 2020 8:38 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#63—'Winterhome')
Replies: 295
Views: 82987

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#63—'Winterhome')

I made my account nearly ten years ago...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:46 pm
Forum: Fan Works
Topic: Any fan games based of of Katawa Shoujo? (not another VN)
Replies: 6
Views: 121

Re: Any fan games based of of Katawa Shoujo? (not another VN)

The only one I know of is Katawa Crash (Second pinned topic in this thread.)
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:43 pm
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Missing Stars
Replies: 7
Views: 439

Re: Missing Stars

I think at least one or two of the creators of Missing Stars started out as Fanfiction writers here on the forums. I say "I think" because I'm not sure if they're still involved with the project. It was in development without noticeable progress for a long time, so I stooped following it at some poi...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:38 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sakura Blossom - A way with Hisao - Prologue added 01/06/2020
Replies: 3
Views: 239

Re: Sakura Blossom - A way with Hisao - Prologue added 01/06/2020

Hmmm... Lost a friend during summer camp... I'm having a bit of a déjà vu reading this... Did you mention writing this somewhere before? Anyway, it's a good start. There are some grammar issues as usual. Want me to give it a once over? One thing I found a bit strange: This is one of the few reasons ...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:15 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: DackFayded Story Archive, AKA "I Swear I Write More Than Just Smut" - Updated 12/31/2019
Replies: 18
Views: 1341

Re: DackFayded Story Archive, AKA "I Swear I Write More Than Just Smut" - Updated 12/31/2019

Natsume gives her ascent
assent
Natsume is like an loof Shizune
What's a "loof"?
It’s only now that I’m acutely aware of the lack of anything between us.
Uh... Hisao should really be more aware... :roll:

And are people still playing Monopoly? :-)
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 12:01 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 1/2/2020)
Replies: 46
Views: 2955

Re: Sweetest Requiem - A Saki Pseudo-Route (Updated 1/2/2020)

Nice chapter again.

Hisao's reaction to Saki telling him her condition is terminal was a bit... non-existent, considering up to that point he assumed it was more or less harmless...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 11:38 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)
Replies: 579
Views: 212608

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 11/1/19)

If you say you've "never seen anyone offer a negative opinion" on this story, you must have missed a couple of my posts... and there should be a bit more in the editing mails I exchanged with Prof :-) Now of course I do not think the story as a whole is bad - far from it - but there are quite a few ...
by Mirage_GSM
Fri Jan 10, 2020 11:13 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Living with Dying (Updated version)
Replies: 1
Views: 286

Re: Living with Dying (Updated version)

No need to worry about writing an OC. In fact I prefer an interesting, non-Mary Sue character over version 374 of Hisao x Hanako. So far your character checks out okay. It's been a while since I read the first version, but afaIct without rereading that there have been some improvements. Good work, c...
by Mirage_GSM
Mon Jan 06, 2020 2:01 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#63—'Winterhome')
Replies: 295
Views: 82987

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#63—'Winterhome')

"Moriko" really confused me for a while ^^°
Still a beautiful story, though.
It might have worked even better if it wasn't set at christmas, but that was more or less unavoidable given the prompt.
by Mirage_GSM
Mon Jan 06, 2020 1:50 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Secret Santa 2019 - Story collection
Replies: 43
Views: 2174

Re: Secret Santa 2019 - Story collection

Nice story.
One thing that I found strange was that the theatre troupe went to the trouble of printing flyers in braille but not providing an option for audio commentary. I'd hate to be the one sitting next to those two :-)