Katawa Shoujo Forums

Good start of the story. One thing I'm not sure of is what kind of story you're trying to write. most of the time it is a quite typical story, but a few times (especially the scene with Lilly and Hanako and the brief 4th wall break towards the end) it wanders right into slapstick territory, and the ...

Also a very good story! That said I liked Emi's version better. While Emi's tale was very emotional, Shizune's version was more matter-of-fact - at least for most of the time. And that's okay, because that is what Shizune is like, so I'm sure it was intentional, but it took away a bit of the story's...

just-a-lurker wrote: ↑Tue Nov 02, 2021 6:49 pm this is some good shit!

I prefer "gem"
Really well-told story and powerful internal monologue!
It is very rare to find a story that short that nevertheless manages to say all it needs to.

Keep in mind that your health is the most important thing.
If you think writing can help you get better that's good, but remember you don't owe us anything, so do everything at your own pace.
Hope the meeting with your parents went well and you're feeling better now.

Okay, general stuff first: You used third person limited omniscience - which is fine. At some points of the story though, there are lines that are interiour monologue or thought processes that it's hard to tell who they belong to, e.g.: Iwanako refuses to push forward on the topic, they are back at ...

Yes, the map was a nice detail... I think the "personality" you gave Hisao is a bit strange though. The choice in the hospital was for someone who was more mature and level-headed than the Hisao from the start of the original Act 1. I do not see how that leads to a Hisao with anger managem...

I agree, this is a very evil cliffhanger...
It's been a while, but from what I remember those two new chapters are pretty similar to the original version before the rewrite - except for that cliffhanger...

Added the two late additions to the index. Looks as if there are still at least five missing unless they are somewhere in the threads I haven't gotten to yet. The Last to Leave has a more subtle sadness than is usual for Feurox. Still a very nice story. You really need to watch Die Hard at some poin...

Return:
Should have been obvious in hindsight... Still my mind was so set on the "guy who left before Hisao get there" that it caught me by surprise anyway.

Midnight Jellyfish:
That one was strange... In more ways than just Rin... ^^°

I didn’t want you to step on my

on me

Wow, I'm gone for a few... well... months ^^° and when I get back almost the first thing I find is a whole new route... And Hanako X Rin at that - a pairing I don't think there are many stories about. And reading your story I don't know why, because you make it seem like a perfect match. Here are a ...

That Japanese bit in the middle was really jarring - especially since the whole of the story is supposed to be in Japanese...
A bit as if suddenly learning that up to this point they all were speaking English^^°

Well, according to the author they had two more chapters "almost complete and ready for posting"...

I remember liking that one a lot. Shame that it hasn't updated in so long.

Read this article a few years back, and it seems to be pertinent to this story.

Usually you would surgically remove something like that - apparently health insurance paid for it even in the US!

After all, she’s the one who left him without letting him weigh in on the matter, or even the opportunity to say a proper goodbye, from the looks of things. At least Lilly granted me that much, even if it did little to ease the feeling of abandonment. Not sure where Hisao got that from. The convers...

Not sure if I would classify the ending of A Runner's Afternoon as "downer" or a gut punch. Hisao never gives the impression of being particularly unhappy with his life, even if we don't learn much about his social life. I'd give higher odds of Hanako being dissatisfied with her position i...