Search found 13 matches

by powercore007
Sun Sep 30, 2018 5:00 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: An Unusual Friendship (Misha x Hanako)
Replies: 133
Views: 7030

Re: An Unusual Friendship (Misha x Hanako)

I'm glad you didn't go down the poly relationship route (well you still could) don't feel like that's a lily-like a thing to do, but you also made her gay or at least Bi, if you do end up going down the poly relationship route I just hope you do it well but that IF you do
by powercore007
Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:26 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Fresh Start
Replies: 8
Views: 408

Re: A Fresh Start

Honestly, I don't own the idea of Misha swimming - anyone else is free to use it. The important thing is that you don't rely on other works to justify plot points in yours. By pulling from other works, you risk missing the reasoning and supporting details for why a certain decision is made, but tha...
by powercore007
Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:46 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Fresh Start
Replies: 8
Views: 408

Re: A Fresh Start

So far so good for this story, but you need to find an editor because you're not doing punctuation, and you tend to let words run on so that it's hard to understand your lines. We're not going away, we're not in a hurry to see what you do next, but we do appreciate effort to make it easier for us t...
by powercore007
Mon Sep 24, 2018 11:43 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Fresh Start
Replies: 8
Views: 408

Re: A Fresh Start

Seems like a post Lilly neutral ending? If so it would be interesting to explore how Hisao feels about what happened between him and Lilly, as well as how things are between he and Hanako now. I would suggest that you do not use the morning swims plot point as this will make your fic feel a bit lik...
by powercore007
Mon Sep 24, 2018 1:32 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Fresh Start
Replies: 8
Views: 408

A Fresh Start

so this is my second attempted at a serious story I posted my first on here, but I did like it so I tried a new one I hope people enjoy it and as always constructive criticism always is welcome ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------...
by powercore007
Mon Sep 03, 2018 2:18 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Overdrive (Lilly)
Replies: 29
Views: 7399

Re: Overdrive (Lilly)

After Chapter 4 I stopped looking at this as a potential Fan fin in the KS prime timeline, that just isn't possible but I enjoy the story for what it is. That being said there are a few issues, First, the pacing is off you, don't have enough character development But that being said I did enjoy that...
by powercore007
Mon Sep 03, 2018 1:00 pm
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: quick question
Replies: 5
Views: 365

quick question

Quick question about Iwanako does she have a cannon last name, or a accept last name
by powercore007
Sat Aug 25, 2018 11:59 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Misha route with no name
Replies: 8
Views: 416

Re: A Misha route with no name

Don't worry man, it takes guts to post what you have, thank you for sharing! My personal recommendation is to maybe write a few shorter stories to start with. This will help you get a handle on your thoughts and how you want to present them when writing. For example; Mirage pointed out some of the ...
by powercore007
Sat Aug 25, 2018 8:26 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 12/3/18)
Replies: 546
Views: 171887

Re: For Want of a Nail - Misha Route (Updated 7/5/18)

looking forward to the next updates keep up the good work
by powercore007
Sat Aug 25, 2018 2:25 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Misha route with no name
Replies: 8
Views: 416

Re: A Misha route with no name

Okay, where to start... Let's start with the grammar, since others have mentioned it already. Usually I would offer my help with that, but in this case that would entail rewriting your story entirely, and that's something I don't have the time for. English is obviously not your native language (You...
by powercore007
Fri Aug 24, 2018 2:09 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Misha route with no name
Replies: 8
Views: 416

Re: A Misha route with no name

First you should take care of grammar and spelling. I'm sorry to say both are pretty atrocious - edit this chapter carefully until they become decent, there's really not much point to piling up more writing otherwise. Thanks for the advice on the re read i agree with you fully once i finish C.2 im ...
by powercore007
Fri Aug 24, 2018 12:43 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Updated 12/8)
Replies: 963
Views: 206182

Re: Learning To Fly - A Saki pseudo-route (Act 3 Completed 8/20)

Just read this whole story so far and its one of the better ones I've see looking forwards to seeing more I do however have a question once your done with this Route do you plan on doing another story i'd enjoy seing more of your work. I also wanna thank you you inspired me to write my own story whi...
by powercore007
Fri Aug 24, 2018 3:15 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: A Misha route with no name
Replies: 8
Views: 416

A Misha route with no name

I've decided that I'm going to scrap most of the idea for In favor of total rewrite after re-reading this a couple times and my and there's just stuff in here that makes no sense in and other things like pacing seems off. _____________________________________________________________________________...