Search found 23 matches

by FrauPerchta
Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:09 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

My throat is dry, and the room is shifting with a foglike haze- all sense of order evaporates as the weight of inevitable failure sets upon me. This is going nowhere. What had seemed like an initial success in Miss Ikezawa going from looking terrified to looking only slightly agitated was apparently...
by FrauPerchta
Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

It’s a bit before I realize that the class is ending, and everyone gathers their things. Luckily, my absentmindedness goes unnoticed, and even better a friendly student just so happens to still be here, presenting an opportunity to do some digging. Of course, perhaps I wouldn’t ask such obvious ques...
by FrauPerchta
Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:03 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

The sun is hardly in the sky by the time I'm awake, and I've already combed my hair for far too long and made sure that my makeup was without error before I even set foot towards my first class; a whole hour early. I ought to be proud, but I know it's a product of fear, not initiative. I have no ide...
by FrauPerchta
Tue Jul 27, 2021 4:02 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

My room was plain- honestly more depressing when compared to what I’m used to, the only evidence of my moving in being the clothes carefully placed in the dresser and the bottles of pills that decorate the desk. But, that’s to be expected, and there’s plenty of time to make some changes. A blank can...
by FrauPerchta
Wed May 19, 2021 8:35 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

My fingers linger on the delicate silk of the last of my Kimono for a few moments, and I wonder when I will have occasion to take it out again. I look at the neat stack of tatoshi in my bag- each one tells a different story and is perfect for a specific occasion- and uncertainty sets it about if I w...
by FrauPerchta
Wed May 19, 2021 8:33 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)
Replies: 6
Views: 3793

Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)(Remake)

Hello everyone! FrauPerchta here, though you may know me better as Innsanna or Chloe. This is my pride and joy, a fic I've been working on for about two years now. Progress has been... painfully slow, but I've got a lot planned and am looking forward to really exploring my interpretation of the KS c...
by FrauPerchta
Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:46 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Is she also lying to herself? Because she is the PoV narrator, and this doesn't sound like someone who is about to lie:. She doesn't consider it a lie, yes. Its actually quite hard to explain. Its also something she cant not lie about, so she's sharing what she can, but she doesn't really tell Lill...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Apr 22, 2020 7:54 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Well, it's not *just* the stiffness though... Tanaka is telling Lilly about herself in excruciating detail including a lot of personal stuf you would not tell anyone you've basically only just met. Expecially considering that a desire for more privacy apparently led to the "situation" a w...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Apr 08, 2020 3:21 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Not too bad, there's some decent character work, but over all it just feels so stiff. I think what you need is another far less formal character interacting with them to provide more contrast. Yeah, theres a lot I'm unhappy with. There will be plenty of less formal characters relatively soon; hopef...
by FrauPerchta
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:57 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

I'm slow, this is short, but hey! Thanks for reading it!!! Chapter 3: A Version of Events I sit there, staring at the cup in my hands. I can see my yellow-tinged reflection in the liquid, looking back at me with an expression I’ll never forget; an expression I wore once, what feels like forever ago....
by FrauPerchta
Sat Feb 22, 2020 5:07 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

(This is long overdo and will probably need some editing; but I shant wait or I'll be stuck forever.) Chapter 2: A Series of Steps Even by my standards, I’m awake far too early; the sun has yet to reach over the horizon, the sky still littered with tiny stars that mark this place as rural, still fre...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:40 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

The characters read a bit stiff and overly formal for my tastes. The idea is good, but hopefully the characters themselves with loosen up soon. Right now they're just lacking in personality. Also I notice you use the Family Name then Given name format. I'd give that up as well. KS doesn't use that ...
by FrauPerchta
Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:33 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Thanks, nice to see you again too. Yes, there will be more dialogue, and yes, the increased formality is intentional; though also a product of my attempt to render more accurate translations of how people speak, and not simply substitute american or british standards of formality in for japanese for...
by FrauPerchta
Sat Jan 11, 2020 2:27 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Hi Feurox, and thank you! To address some of your concerns you raised; I'm never very fond of telling us rather than showing us information. In my opinion, giving us this information about your OC's condition is a bit of a let down, because you could have found a way to let us know that more fluidly...
by FrauPerchta
Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:29 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 7918

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Part 1: For I am Blind Chapter 1: Meetings and Greetings There are many incredible things about Autumn when compared to other seasons; it is rarely hot or frigid, and compared to spring, it is far less prone to extended rainstorms. But, above that are the leaves; golds and reds weaving a tapestry o...