Search found 17 matches

by FrauPerchta
Fri Apr 24, 2020 2:46 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Is she also lying to herself? Because she is the PoV narrator, and this doesn't sound like someone who is about to lie:. She doesn't consider it a lie, yes. Its actually quite hard to explain. Its also something she cant not lie about, so she's sharing what she can, but she doesn't really tell Lill...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Apr 22, 2020 7:54 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Well, it's not *just* the stiffness though... Tanaka is telling Lilly about herself in excruciating detail including a lot of personal stuf you would not tell anyone you've basically only just met. Expecially considering that a desire for more privacy apparently led to the "situation" a while back....
by FrauPerchta
Wed Apr 08, 2020 3:21 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Not too bad, there's some decent character work, but over all it just feels so stiff. I think what you need is another far less formal character interacting with them to provide more contrast. Yeah, theres a lot I'm unhappy with. There will be plenty of less formal characters relatively soon; hopef...
by FrauPerchta
Sun Apr 05, 2020 3:57 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

I'm slow, this is short, but hey! Thanks for reading it!!! Chapter 3: A Version of Events I sit there, staring at the cup in my hands. I can see my yellow-tinged reflection in the liquid, looking back at me with an expression I’ll never forget; an expression I wore once, what feels like forever ago....
by FrauPerchta
Sat Feb 22, 2020 5:07 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

(This is long overdo and will probably need some editing; but I shant wait or I'll be stuck forever.) Chapter 2: A Series of Steps Even by my standards, I’m awake far too early; the sun has yet to reach over the horizon, the sky still littered with tiny stars that mark this place as rural, still fre...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Jan 15, 2020 1:40 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

The characters read a bit stiff and overly formal for my tastes. The idea is good, but hopefully the characters themselves with loosen up soon. Right now they're just lacking in personality. Also I notice you use the Family Name then Given name format. I'd give that up as well. KS doesn't use that ...
by FrauPerchta
Sun Jan 12, 2020 8:33 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Thanks, nice to see you again too. Yes, there will be more dialogue, and yes, the increased formality is intentional; though also a product of my attempt to render more accurate translations of how people speak, and not simply substitute american or british standards of formality in for japanese for...
by FrauPerchta
Sat Jan 11, 2020 2:27 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Hi Feurox, and thank you! To address some of your concerns you raised; I'm never very fond of telling us rather than showing us information. In my opinion, giving us this information about your OC's condition is a bit of a let down, because you could have found a way to let us know that more fluidly...
by FrauPerchta
Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:29 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Re: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Part 1: For I am Blind Chapter 1: Meetings and Greetings There are many incredible things about Autumn when compared to other seasons; it is rarely hot or frigid, and compared to spring, it is far less prone to extended rainstorms. But, above that are the leaves; golds and reds weaving a tapestry o...
by FrauPerchta
Sat Jan 11, 2020 10:28 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)
Replies: 18
Views: 1330

Please Don't Pass Me By (Lilly x OC)

Hello everyone; a brief introduction before we get to the story. I'm FrauPerchta, or Chloe if you prefer. I haven't been super active here, but the one thing I did do is write a secret santa story for Mirage_GSM at the end of 2017 (I've been meaning to join the two secret santas since then but keep ...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Apr 24, 2019 3:01 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Replies: 4861
Views: 448675

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

FrauPerchta, woatamoiwoatamoiwoatamoi... do is echt wer zweiter aus Österreich in dem thread? Seawas, griassdi. [note: I just said hi to my fellow Austrian here] Ja, I bin Chloe und kimm fõ Innschpruckh. Kimmst du aus Wean oder was? Isch guat das wir hap zwei fõ Österreich (und koan fõ Daitschland ...
by FrauPerchta
Tue Apr 23, 2019 2:16 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Hanako's Broken Heart Club
Replies: 4861
Views: 448675

Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Seems like I keep coming back here; from when I was... what? Fourteen? On an account I don't even remember? Something about... its not even about the game, but this thread. These people. I don't know any of you, but you mean a lot to me. I'm so grateful this is still here. So, I guess I end up here ...
by FrauPerchta
Thu Feb 08, 2018 3:22 am
Forum: Public Discussion
Topic: Hanako's route is indefensible
Replies: 29
Views: 6125

Re: Hanako's route is indefensible

This entire argument is based around viewing Hisao as some sort of perfect stand in for the reader. He's not. He's a kid who's psychological state is in shambles as much as if not more than his physical state. Its harder to tell because its from his perspective, but Hisao is messed up in much the sa...
by FrauPerchta
Thu Dec 28, 2017 7:05 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Secret Santa 2017 - Story collection
Replies: 19
Views: 5790

Re: Secret Santa 2017 - Story collection

To help me, I decided to set my story after any character in KS would have graduated, simply because they aren’t needed and no such club is referenced in the game. That was kind of the point of that prompt. Since I figured most other prompts would be Hanako this or Shizune that I intentionally pick...
by FrauPerchta
Wed Dec 27, 2017 8:58 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Secret Santa 2017 - Story collection
Replies: 19
Views: 5790

Re: Secret Santa 2017 - Story collection

So, sorry for the delay, here’s my story for the Secret Santa thingy. I got Mirage_GSM’s prompt, which threw me off a bit- "The Christmas Party of the Yamaku Anime&Manga Club" I know very little about Anime clubs (I do watch plenty of anime and read manga, but have never been part of a club for that...