Search found 135 matches

by Feurox
Thu May 23, 2019 7:30 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Avenues of Communication (updated 5-14-19)
Replies: 40
Views: 3753

Re: Avenues of Communication (updated 5-14-19)

We really have come a long way since this started huh? I’m staring to think you might be incapable of sticking to the original plan Lap :lol: Anyway, whilst I’m in exam season I haven’t been able to have particularly deep readings, but I can at least comment and say how refreshing it is to see Hisao...
by Feurox
Mon May 13, 2019 1:09 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Respice Adspice Prospice - A Misaki Kawana Pseudo Route
Replies: 17
Views: 1467

Re: Respice Adspice Prospice - A Misaki Kawana Pseudo Route

I really like where this is heading. Although, I'd have to agree with Oddball's concerns that Misaki's politeness bordered on the robotic. In fact, I actually found myself concerned that Hisao was echoing that formality. Whilst for the most part, Hisao and Misaki's conversations resembled a conversa...
by Feurox
Mon May 13, 2019 6:18 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Rin Epilouge: The Long Road (Updated 15/6/2019)
Replies: 6
Views: 354

Re: Rin Epilouge: The Long Road

This is an okay start. But you’ve got to fix your use of tenses. Even if time-disphporia might fit the character of Rin, it doesn’t seem that you’re doing intentionally.

Still, this is a nice start, and I look forward to what comes next.
by Feurox
Tue Apr 30, 2019 7:21 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20190520 Overdrive)
Replies: 1772
Views: 226389

Re: Yamaku Book Club (20190429 Pictures of Lilly)

I really enjoyed this piece. It manages to hit a fantastic blend of charming, sad, hopeful, and bittersweet. I don’t have much more to say about it, because it’s really just a nice little piece. There’s enough technical jargon in there to make it at least somewhat believable, which is enough for a w...
by Feurox
Thu Apr 18, 2019 5:44 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yet another one-shot thread (updated 2019-06-13)
Replies: 97
Views: 6409

Re: Yet another one-shot thread (updated 2019-04-14)

Both fantastic Scroff. Brilliant reads, even if the second made me a little sad. Quality is near perfect as usual.
by Feurox
Mon Apr 15, 2019 5:49 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#58—'Compromise')
Replies: 267
Views: 73029

Re: Alt Dreams [One-Shots] (#57—'Unwritten Rules')

Brythain. That was the best written piece of trash I’ve ever read. I hate love you. :lol: What a way to start my Monday haha
by Feurox
Tue Apr 09, 2019 7:04 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: (Updated 4/15/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]
Replies: 39
Views: 1678

Re: (Updated 4/9/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]

I apologise, I said I'd follow this but I haven't commented on it in a long time. Things have been hectic. Still, I actually don't have many constructive comments that haven't been made before by those better suited to do it. Still, I know how much those 'just keep doing what you're doing' comments ...
by Feurox
Tue Apr 09, 2019 12:07 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Ekephrasis/ American Spirit / A Long Way Down 04/07/2019
Replies: 19
Views: 1923

Re: Ekephrasis/ American Spirit / A Long Way Down 04/07/2019

You know... something was bothering me the whole time when I read it over. That was it. How the hell would she know. I'll fix that. :lol:
by Feurox
Tue Apr 09, 2019 11:47 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yamaku Book Club (20190520 Overdrive)
Replies: 1772
Views: 226389

Re: Yamaku Book Club (20190401 Silence Falls)

I quite enjoy purple prose when it's done right. But I'm not sure this is one of those scenarios. Maybe that's the pot calling the kettle, but a lot of the sentences in this piece feel stilted and really off. It has it's salvageable moments: she couldn't help but notice how the sun shone across it, ...
by Feurox
Sun Apr 07, 2019 11:08 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Ekephrasis/ American Spirit / A Long Way Down 04/07/2019
Replies: 19
Views: 1923

A Long Way Down - Competition Entry

If you like listening to music whilst you read, I'd recommend 'South London Forever' by Florence + the Machine, or 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' by The Verve. Many thanks. A Long Way Down “Excuse me, are you alright?” Above, cutting though the amber sky, is a plane, the sound of its engine a dull roar an...
by Feurox
Fri Mar 15, 2019 9:03 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yet another one-shot thread (updated 2019-06-13)
Replies: 97
Views: 6409

Re: Yet another one-shot thread

Beautifully done Scroff. And over-the-shoulder watch from Hisao’s lonely festival. You mentioned R.E.M. with this, but it actually really reminds me of Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve- just crowds of people coming, going, living in front of a stagnant Hisao. You could have ended it there, but I’m ...
by Feurox
Wed Mar 06, 2019 11:56 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: (Updated 4/15/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - No Heart Attack]
Replies: 39
Views: 1678

Re: (WIP - Updated 3/5/2019) Pilgrimage - A Subversion of Fate [Divergent Story - Hisao w/o Heart Attack]

One thing I wanted to mention before even diving into the story: speaking of Leafy It’s Leaty. I know that’s likely just an auto-correct issue. But obviously when giving credit, which, you are, it’s best to make sure that the credit information is accurate so that others can find the source easily. ...
by Feurox
Mon Feb 25, 2019 6:23 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Avenues of Communication (updated 5-14-19)
Replies: 40
Views: 3753

Re: Avenues of Communication (updated 2-24-19)

I second Scroff’s comment, my toast and coffee went down lovely with this story. A brilliant treat for the morning! I really love this chapter, and it’s getting clear we’re approaching the finish line - I think Shizune has gotten back to her old self a lot now, and Misha is very much deserving of su...
by Feurox
Sun Feb 24, 2019 8:07 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Yet another one-shot thread (updated 2019-06-13)
Replies: 97
Views: 6409

Re: Yet another one-shot thread

I took my sweet time getting to your one-shots Scroff! I’m afraid I’ve only been able to catch up with this most recent one, though as I find time I’m sure that’ll change. With regards to “You Are Not Alone” though I can only say wow. That’s a beautiful tale. Your writing is very poetic and it has t...
by Feurox
Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:15 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: The Sound of Silence, a Shizune one-shot ('All I Have'/'Enjoy the Silence' tie-in)
Replies: 8
Views: 504

Re: The Sound of Silence, a Shizune one-shot

This is peculiar. In a good way of course. It's a bit of a sting, having Hisao cheat on Shizune like that . Entirely the point I'm sure and had you not captured the 'version' of Hisao from Shizune's route, the pragmatic, drifter Hisao that refuses to assert himself in his own life and attempt to in ...