Search found 14 matches

by Mamen
Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:28 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

griffon8 wrote:Just in case you're not clear on what the suspicion is about, the question is over whether or not you (katt) are a sock puppet for the OP.
Why is it shocking I got good feedback? That hurts man.
by Mamen
Mon Apr 08, 2013 1:56 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

For what it's worth, I enjoyed reading your little "story" and the numerous grammar errors didn't bother me at all., nor did the odd lay-out for that matter. Because it was irrelevant. The story, that's all I cared about, and I liked it. I carefully read all the critisism. The car crash, ...
by Mamen
Mon Apr 08, 2013 6:28 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Yes but I didn't expect to be spammed by the same criticism and rant's by the same people. By now It stopped being criticism and started getting a bit annoying. Nobody's "ranting" or "spamming" you with the same criticism, in fact I made it a point in my own post to make sure I ...
by Mamen
Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:20 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Then here is your next English lesson. Criticism includes the evaluation of a work for its merits. It results in recommendations for improvement as well as praise for good aspects. Wanting to know if people like it or not is asking for a simple binary opinion. And I think our collective opinion can...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 5:48 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

You are now saying you're not interested in improving your writing skills and telling people "let it be as it is", yet you did say you were open to criticism at the very end of your opening post which suggested you were looking for ways to improve and asking people for feedback to use. So...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 5:13 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Like I said, please overlook the bad scripting, grammar, ect ect. No. This is like a cook saying "please overlook my using salt instead of sugar in the cake recipe and my overcooking it", and then wanting to know if the cake still came out all right. Of course it didn't, and because of yo...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:38 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Nothing I can really say that has already been said, so I won't rant at you with a point that's already been made. You should probably try to plan your story and think about the events that will take place in the story and whether you honestly think they would happen in real life - something being ...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 1:10 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Wait you honestly think that doctors would literally bring the dead to a hospital room to calm someone down? Really? I thought you were going somewhere with it, like Zombie style fanfic or something. But if that's not the case then that's really irrational behaviour. And yes, the time advance is ba...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:18 pm
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Even if we disregard "scripting, grammar, ect ect.", the story just doesn't make sense. It has coincidences that are just too wild to be believable (Hisao crashing into Akira's car), irrational behaviour (Lilly's dead body being laid in Hisao's hospital room and the doctor lying about her...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 7:03 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

I'm not going to comment on the technical quality. I understood the ending just fine. I just find it too depressing to dear. :( Thank you. Like I said, please overlook the bad scripting, grammar, ect ect. I'm no Charles Dickens and I don't really plan on making a profession in writing, so of course...
by Mamen
Sun Apr 07, 2013 12:23 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

To clear things up, yes they are dead.

And I didn't expect it to be a major fan fiction, I just thought it was kind of a quickie.
by Mamen
Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:41 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

griffon8 wrote:
Mamen wrote:Any tips on how I can change/improve it?
Start by reading the entire Tips for fanfiction writers (that means YOU) thread.
Sorry to say that it didn't help that much in increasing my literature skill's. :(

But overlooking the horrible script format. How was the Fan fiction?
by Mamen
Sat Apr 06, 2013 10:35 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Re: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

You have something that's neither quite script nor fiction format here. Fiction should be narrated, not summarized. For example: Hisao and lily both got high grades in there school years at yamaku. Both getting into the same college with lily deciding to became an english teacher and hisao a scienc...
by Mamen
Sat Apr 06, 2013 7:29 am
Forum: Fan Fiction
Topic: Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)
Replies: 35
Views: 12338

Epilogue (Lilly And Hisao Fan Fiction)

Hello everyone, this is my first/second post on the katawa shoujo forums and its a fan fiction one. I was told to repost it here in the fan fiction section. I made this story while talking with one of my steam friends and he encouraged me to post it on the katawa shoujo forums. English isn't my nati...