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Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 12/13)

Posted: Mon Dec 31, 2012 10:53 pm
by Steinherz
Hello all, this is my first time writing fanfiction for something like Katawa Shoujo.
Like the in-game routes, it contains mature content, so be warned.
any feedback would be much appreciated, as I am a new writer.
(if anyone wants to be a proofreader, just message me)

Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Can you move on from your past?

Table of Contents
Prologue
Scenes 1& 2: Fractured, Recovery

Act 1: Life Outlook
Scenes 1 & 2: Gateway Effect, Boredorm
Scenes 3 & 4: Reveille, A Smashing Hello
Scene 5: Distracted (Hayato)
Scene 6: Meeting in the Library
Scene 7: Meet on Monday (Hayato)
Scene 8: TBN

Scene 1: Fractured
“Hayato, the more you do this, the likelier it is that you’re to mess yourself up” I said as I attempted to keep up with him.

“So? You know that nothing hurts me man!”
“That’s the problem my friend, you can get hurt. You just don’t feel it, or you can ignore it.”

He turns around to face me. I can see he’s closer to the edge of the railing than is safe. I can already see what is running through his mind when I see those eyes of his.
“C’mon Gustav, you are always trying to keep me from having fun” he said giving his trademark smirk.

“Because your “fun” usually ends up with you in the nurse’s office or worse. Besides I don’t feel like getting yelled out by your mother for you doing something stupid that I could have stopped you from doing” I say, grimacing at him.

“Hey, she’s your mother too big guy” he gives me a wink.

“She is, and isn’t. But that‘s besides the point.”

“Whatever man, if I hurt myself this time, I’ll take the blame for it.”

“Wait, what do you mean “this time”? You aren’t going to do…” I look up and he’s already over the side of the railing, and scrambling down the side of the school building. This isn’t going to end well.

“HAYATO! Stop that, now!” I command him, knowing it won’t work.

“Dude, you know I like trying new ways of parkour, why stop me now?”

“Because you’re about to lose your grip on the wall nimrod.”

“What?”

Not believing me he looks to the wall, and sure enough as soon as he looks his grip fails him. That’s a 25 foot drop. I hear the inevitable thud of his landing, running over to the edge I see he’s already shifted to a sitting position. However, he’s holding his arm.

“Hayato, is this the point where I say “I told you so”?”

“Gustav, shut up and get down here. I already can tell I broke something, even without a sense of pain.”

“How so?”

“I don’t FEEL ANYTHING in my lower arm, usually I can at least recognize my fingers are there. What do you think?”

“Sarcasm won’t get you anywhere smartass, give me a minute or two to get down there. And for the love of God, DON’T MOVE ANYMORE!”

At this I turn and run down the stairwell. I get into the corridors and everyone who’s smart moves out of my way. Even the teachers in the hallway back into the corners, because they know; once I break into a run it takes a bit for me to stop moving forward. I get closer to the door and begin to slow down. As I open the door, I duck my head and exit the building. Walking at a brisk pace I go to where Hayato is sitting, and I can already tell his arm is most likely broken. Hopefully that is just it.

“So, should we call the folks and inform them before, or after I drop you off at the nurse’s?”

He looks at me incredulously “You’re kidding right, only the nurse’s? I thought I was supposed to go to the hospital when I can tell I broke something.”

“No duh, I meant should I call the folks and tell them, or should the nurse?” I pick him up, avoiding hitting his left arm. Although if I hit it by accident, oh well.

“Ohh, I think the nurse should be the one to tell them that”

“You sure?”
“Yeah, besides the nurse is going to be the one who has to write the dismissal form.”

“Technically that’s the school secretary’s job.”

“You know what I mean” he says as we get to the nurse’s office

The nurse turns around as she hears voice. The look on her face is… Odd to say the least. It looks like a combination of anger, annoyance, and worry. She notices Hayato leaning against me and makes a sound, obviously of annoyance.

“Mr. Hirano, what is this. The fifth time this month? If you keep this up I’m going to recommend to your parent’s another school for cases like you.”

“Do you mean “school” as in “mental institution”? Because I feel that’s what he could use at times. He’s been knocked in the head enough times, he’s probably got some brain damage” I say to the nurse, as I put Hayato onto the small couch.

“No, I mean an actual school. There are a few that handle special cases, if anything you’d also be able to go there Gustav” she says as she picks up the phone to call Hayato’s parents.

I turn to him and say “What kind of school do you think that’d be, Hayato? Sounds like it’d be enjoyable” I say, mimicking his irritating smirk back towards him.
“No idea, but it’d probably be one of those big expensive places.”

“Heh, you think anything that you have to pay for is expensive.”

The nurse finishes her phone call, turning to us she says “Well Mr. Hirano, your parents are not too happy about this. But then again, I doubt they would be. You really need to think about what you’re about to do before doing it.”

“He does, for all of one-and-a-half seconds” I quip

“Shut up man” he snaps back surprisingly.

The nurse chooses this point to cut in “Your parents are on their way, I’d recommend getting your bags. Both of you” she says this last part looking at me. I get the hint.
“Yes ma’am, I’ll go and get my bag, and the amazing jumper’s as well”

“You’re an ass Gustav, you know that right?”

Hayato quips as I leave the room, ducking my head that I must so often do. It really is quite irritating, being the veritable elephant in the room. But then I remember my heritage, and I would have been shocked if I turned out any other way. I am a giant amongst men, especially in Japan. The average height of my classmates of my gender was anywhere from 165 centimeters to 172 centimeters. Then there is me, 194 centimeters tall and 92 kilos, I swear if the doctor‘s didn‘t tell me that it was because of my ancestry I‘d have felt like a freak of nature. These doors are far to small for me, but I’ve learned to adapt. However I still somehow manage to clock myself in the head at times, usually when I‘m not paying attention.




Scene 2: Recovery
The ride to the hospital was, eventful to say the least. Before we got into the car I pulled out my music player and turned it on, knowing full well there will be some yelling or “bitching” as Hayato calls it. While Hayato’s parents were busy yelling at him I took the time to read a book I had recently picked up. Moby Dick, it isn’t something I usually read, but it is quite nice. However before we can even get halfway to the hospital I feel a hit in my side, looking up I see Hayato’s mother motioning to me to take off my headphones. Pulling them off I half-hear what she was saying to me, although it was obvious she was at the end of it.
“--keeping him out of trouble.”

“What? You started speaking before I finished taking off my headphones, could you repeat that?”

“I said: And how did you let him do this again? You’re supposed to be the one keeping him out of trouble” she repeats, thankfully not raising her voice as it can get quite shrill.

“I’ve realized that no matter what I do, short of breaking his legs, Hayato will never listen to me about being careful. So I usually just help him back up after he ends up on the ground” I truthfully respond with. She calms down a bit.

“Well, I can see why you’ve given up on that. What is this the fifth-”

“Nineteenth time this year, this is the fifth time this month” I say, cutting her off.

“Thank you Gustav.” Although I can tell she was irritated by me cutting her off. No-one said anything after this, so I put my headset back on and began to read. I noticed the song playing at that time, it was Heldenby Apocalyptica, one of my favorites.

-------------------------------------------

I decided to stay outside while the Hayato , his parents and the doctor discuss things. I felt that I’d be intruding or something along those lines. However, after about an hour or so, and about 150 or so pages of Moby Dick, I hear my name being called from inside the room. Sighing, I mark my place and close the book.
“Somebody called?” I inquire, already knowing that yes, someone did call my name.

“Yes, we’ve been discussing something with Hayato and we’d like your input on it” Hayato’s father, Irou, says to me.

“That would be?”

“Well, we were informed of a school specifically for people with cases like Hayato’s, and your’s by extension” I reflexively move my hand to my chest, those scars will never go away. They may fade, but they’ll always be there. “and we’re considering transferring Hayato to it. We’d like your opinion on it”

“If it means I won’t have to be constantly watching him, then yes. It sounds amazing.”

The doctor turns to Hayato “This is for the better you know. It will allow you an amount of freedom like a boarding school, but you’ll have aid if you need it.”

“And what if I say no?” Hayato comments

“Then I clock you upside the head and we drag you there” I say slowly, trying not to get irritated.

“Well I don’t think that is a good idea, I have to agree with your friend. It is good for you, besides you may come to like it.”

“I know I won’t” Hayato says dryly. It’s obvious to me he’s actually considering it, which is a shocker.

“So what’s the name of this school?“ I quickly interject, hoping to get Hayato interested more. It seems to work.

“The school is called Yamaku High School, it was founded specifically for… special cases such as Hayato’s.” Hayato snorts.

“So it’s a school for cripples? Awesome.” I give him a glare, he shuts up immediately, silently understanding my meaning.

“As I was saying, I’ve already given my recommendation to your parents. It’s up to them if you go or don’t. However, it will have to wait until your fractures are healed up.”

“How long is that?” I inquire, actually caring enough to ask.

“On average a fracture like this takes five to six weeks to heal, but knowing how fast of a healer Hayato is the worst estimate is four weeks, the shortest is three-and-a-half. However, you will need to wear a sling for a week or so after the cast comes off, and with that I‘m serious.”
“Right, got it doc.”

Hayato’s nonchalant attitude with matters like this always bugs me. But then I remember, its Hayato. He only has one real mood, which is joker. The few times he’s serious are few and far between, but then he usually snaps back to his normal self. It is really quite jarring, to think I’ve known this guy for thirteen years and he can still be a mystery to me. I pray that when, or if, he gets a girlfriend she can tone him down, though I doubt it. He will never change, he’s still that headstrong and brash five year old I’d met those years ago.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It takes Hayato two days under four weeks to recover. We arrive at Yamaku a few days after he gets the cast removed, and his arm in the sling.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:34 am
by Comrade
Shouldn't the nurse call an ambulance before he calls the parents?

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 10:37 am
by Mirage_GSM
Well, Gustav's parents are obviously foreign, but Hayden is also a strange name for a Japanese. If he doesn't have a foreign backgound as well, you might consider remaning him.

Also, his recklessness seems a bit over the top, at least in this first chapter. Even if he doesn't feel pain, he obviously dislikes having his arm in a cast all the time, so that alone should make him more careful.
His constant injuries would be more believable if you added some clumsiness instead.

And having Gustav read "Life of Pi" is a rather glaring hint you want to pair him up with Hanako later on. You might want to not be quite so obvious.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 12:48 pm
by Steinherz
Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, Gustav's parents are obviously foreign, but Hayden is also a strange name for a Japanese. If he doesn't have a foreign backgound as well, you might consider remaning him.

Also, his recklessness seems a bit over the top, at least in this first chapter. Even if he doesn't feel pain, he obviously dislikes having his arm in a cast all the time, so that alone should make him more careful.
His constant injuries would be more believable if you added some clumsiness instead.

And having Gustav read "Life of Pi" is a rather glaring hint you want to pair him up with Hanako later on. You might want to not be quite so obvious.
whoops, i forgot that i originally wrote Life of Pi >.< (it seems I used an older draft of the prologue than I thought(like about 2 weeks older) and I did some rewrites.)
and from what I've read people with Congenital analgesia (Hayden's condition) very often act like that, but yeah it does seem a bit ridiculous (however he is a bit of a klutz, which will be shown later).
and yeah, I thought Hayden's first name is a bit off (I'll most likely edit it), but I wanted added alliterative appeal with his name.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:31 pm
by Oddball
(much of Act 1 will be similar to the actual VN, but with my two OC characters involved)
We've all already read Act 1. Give us something we haven't seen before. Even if they still meet Rin and Emi and Shizune, there's no reason they have to run into Lilly in the tea room or scare of Hanako in the library. Maybe ditch one of the "main" girls and have them meet one of the other side characters instead.

At the very least PLEASE don't do the "late on their first day, meet Mutou, mistake Misha for Shizune," bit.

You've given us some pretty strong characters right from the start, having them run into the exact same situations and reacting the same way as Hisao did would only be a disservice to them.
(I can also include a brief description of the two OCs if needed)
Descriptions should come when they fit into the narrative, not just for the sake of describing them.
(Hayden's name has been changed to Hayato)

*snip*

“HAYDEN! Stop that, now!” I command him, knowing it won’t work.
Missed one. :P

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Tue Jan 01, 2013 8:33 pm
by Steinherz
Oddball wrote:
(Hayden's name has been changed to Hayato)

*snip*

“HAYDEN! Stop that, now!” I command him, knowing it won’t work.
Missed one. :P
Damn it XD

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:50 pm
by Steinherz
Sorry I haven't put an update, I've been busy dealing with per-quarter activities (getting books) for college. Also I've been learning GIMP to draw some of my characters, and I've learned something.
Whoever was the poor person who drew Hanako, I now know your pain (drawing large amounts of scars in a semi-detailed fashion SUCKS).
That and they keep looking like tattoos when I do then >.<

Hopefully the next update will be sometime in the next week.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart

Posted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 3:12 pm
by Steinherz
Act 1: Life Outlook

Scene 1: Gateway Effect

As we pull up to the school I notice there is another new student. He’s a little on the short side, but then everyone is that way to me. As Hayato and I get out of the car, I take some time to look at the school’s gates. They’re black wrought-iron gates, with red bricks with plaster detailing. In all it gives the school a bit of a regal feel, I can already tell that if the rest of the school looks like this I doubt Hayato will enjoy it at all.

Looking over I see that Hayato has already walked over and started chatting with the other new boy. From where I’m standing I realize that my first thought on his height was off by a bit. He’s only marginally shorter than Hayato, who is still slightly above average for seventeen year-olds in Japan. I walk over to them as I’m adjusting my coat, I catch a small bit of their conversation.

“-here for? I’ve basically got the inability to feel pain.” Well, I can already tell what Hayato was asking him.

“Hayato, are you sure you want to be asking him questions like that? You just met him not even five minutes ago. Do you even know his name?” I jokingly chastise my adoptive brother.

“No? Oh yeah, my name’s Hirano. Hayato Hirano. Nice to meet you.” I cover my face with my palm, Hayato means well but he can get a bit overzealous at times.

“I‘m Nakai. Hisao Nakai.” The boy responds. He accepts the handshake Hayato was offering.

“Well big guy, you gonna say who you are? Or do I have to do that for you?” Hayato gives me a joking wink.

“Hm? Oh right.” I extend my hand towards the other boy, Hisao, and shake his hand.

“von Richthofen. Gustav von Richthofen.” I remember to quickly add “If you’re going to ask. Yes, I am related to that von Richthofen.”

Hisao looks at me confused “Who?”

“Never mind.” I respond. “Better for me, I don’t have to spend the next fifteen minutes on a rant about it.”

“Okay? We should probably head over to the school building. Sign in, get our schedules and stuff like that.” The more I listen to this kid, the more I realize he’s in an almost depressed state. Hopefully he gets out of that shell. Depression is a horrid thing to live with.

“So, Nakai, you never said why you’re here.”

“Hayato, stop. Now. If he doesn’t want to shout out his problem to the world, why do you think he’d tell you?” Hayato turns to me and gives me a dejected look. However with the way his eyes are, heterochromic and an odd pupil, it comes off as more of a manic expression. God they can be unsettling at times.

“Because man, we’ve all come here at the same time. Surely that has to mean something. Like fates converging you know?”

“Hayato, stop. You don’t need to get philosophical at this moment.”

“Hey, guys. I’m standing right here. And maybe I’ll tell you later. Also, Hayato.” He turns to look at him. “Just call me Hisao.”

“Sure thing man.”

The closer we get to the school the more I realize something. This school is huge. It’s almost unnecessarily large, why on Earth would you need a High School this big? This place must get some pretty good funding if it can afford all this.

“So, Hisao. You having your things brought to your room by your folks?” Hayato is now just attempting small talk, which is much better than how he was earlier.

“Uh, yeah. I think they said someone was waiting for me inside the school.”

“Same here man. I wonder if we’re gonna be in the same class.”

“Most likely, Hayato. If we aren’t I think your parents would request me to be put into your class.”

Hayato laughs. “Yeesh man you’re such a downer. Can’t you lighten up?”

“Not around you.” Hopefully Hayato will pick up on the fact that I don’t wish to talk at the present.

***

The rest of the day seems relatively normal for a first day transfer. Meeting other students, a teacher and such. That one girl with pink hair, I think her name was Misha, is obnoxiously loud. Thankfully I’m in the same class as my thick-skulled brother. Exiting the building I notice that Hisao seems to have been ditched by those girls. I wave him over.

“So, what do you think of this place so far, Hisao?”

“It’s… different.” he seems a bit uncomfortable. Perhaps he’s intimidated by me?

Hayato chooses to turn around at this point to chime in. “Just different? I can see a lot of opportunity here.”

“Hayato turn around, you’re going to trip.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because I know you, and you will always end up hurting yourself somehow.”

“Wanna make a bet on it?”

“No.”

“C’mon, 433 yen says I won’t trip.”

“I won’t make a bet that I’m assured I’ll win. You’re walking backwards, you have depth perception problems and-”

“Depth perception problems?” Hisao cuts me off. I was wondering if he’d speak up.

“Yeah, I got hit in the eye. You didn’t notice my pupil being always dilated?”

“Not really, I noticed your eyes being discolored instead of a pupil being odd.”

“Oh yeah, that.”

At this point Hayato trips up and falls onto his back.

“So, that bet was 433 yen?”

“WHAT? We didn’t shake on it or anything.” Hayato is obviously not getting the joke. I offer my hand to help him up, and he takes it.

“I’m kidding, oh Great Navigator.”

“You’re such an ass Gustav.”

“Ja, das ist mein Job” I decide to slip in, knowing full well Hayato - and most likely Hisao - can’t understand or speak German.

“Dude, Japanese please?”

“Sorry, it just slipped.” I lie.

Hisao is visibly confused by the exchange between Hayato and myself.

I turn to Hisao. “By the way, in case you couldn’t tell I’m not fully Japanese.”

“I kind of figured that out just from looking at you. You kind of stand out in a crowd.”

“Yeah, well I don’t think that has to do with his height at all.”

“Shut it Hayato, would you kindly?” I turn back to Hisao.

“Yes, well, if you’re wondering I’m a quarter Japanese at least.” I hear Hayato chuckle slightly at my use of “at least”

“What about the rest?” Hisao actually seems interested in discussing this.

“The rest is German. Which is what I just spoke in.”

“You speak German?”

“Ja.”

“I’m guessing that means yes?” Hisao asks quizzically..

“There you go. I also speak English, but that was because my parents both spoke it as well.” I start to trail off towards the end.

“Not something you want to talk about? Your parents I mean.”

I look directly at Hisao and nod, I don’t feel like speaking about something like that with someone I just met.

“So, you guys want to head to the dorms?” Hayato at times you’re an irritant, but this time you’re a lifesaver to kill awkward moments. We all head off towards the dorms.

Scene 2: Boredorm

As we walk it looks like Hayato is about to try for some small talk, but then he suddenly stops. We get to the dorm, and I make note of it being like the rest of the buildings on school grounds: Red brick, plaster and concrete. Walking inside, I notice Hisao fumbling trying to find his key.

“Room one-one-nine” he mumbles to himself.

This makes me think on my key. As I pull it out of the inner breast pocket of my coat, it jostles the packet of pills I always carry on me. I sigh. They are a necessary thing, but it makes me feel like an addict to rely on pills to function normally.

I check the number printed on the key. “Huh, looks like I’m down the hall from you Hisao.”

“What?” he jumps, obviously not expecting my to say something.

“Room one-one-six. Looks like I’m down the hall from you.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Hey what about me?”

“Hayato, why don’t you check your key?” He’s hopelessly oblivious.

“Oh” he fumbles with his free hand in his pocket and pulls out his key. “Room one-one-eight. Does that mean I’m across the hall from you?”

“Most likely.”

We climb the stairs to the upper floor. There are a few small hallways, each has a toilet and shower. We all find our rooms. It looks like there is someone else in this hallway. Hisao goes over to the door and knocks.

“Hello, is anyone home?” Even from over here I can hear the sound of multiple locks, more than these doors should have. Did the person in there add more? Is that even allowed? The door opens after a few moments. A boy with very thick glasses comes out of his room. He is staring at Hisao intently.

“Who is it?” He must be nearsighted. He leans quite close to Hisao. Does this guy have any idea of “personal space”?

“Hisao Nakai… I’m moving into the next room. I thought I should introduce my...”

The boy’s face brightens up, and he extends his hand towards Hisao. He almost hits Hisao in the abdomen.

“Oh, ‘sup dude? The name’s Kenji.”

“Ah, hi.”

Waiting until they finish shaking hands, I walk over and introduce myself to Kenji.

“Hello I couldn't help but overhear you two talking.” I offer my hand to Kenji. “My name is Gustav. It seems I’ll be down the hall from you.”

He seemed a little hesitant at first but ended up taking my hand and shaking it. His palm is very sweaty and his handshake isn’t firm, but not loose either.

“Cool, seems more people are here now. I’m not sure why though...” He suddenly stops and looks at me. “Say I have a question for you.”

“Shoot.”

“What? I don’t have a gun, who’s shooting? Are you threatening me?”

“I meant ask the question Kenji.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?” He looks shocked.

“I was standing a few feet away and have good hearing. By the way, please don’t shout. You’re going to give me a headache.” I reply simply.

“Oh, that makes sense. Damn it I forgot what I was going to ask you now.”

“Huh I see. Well I guess we’ll talk more later. I’ve got to do some things.”

“Later man.” Kenji turns back to continue talking to Hisao.

At this I decide to enter my room, seeing as how Hisao can handle this himself.

Entering my room. I look around. Bland, very bland. The room gives off a vibe that is more like a hospital room than a true room. I wonder if Hayato and Hisao are also getting that feeling as well. I set down my book bag and sit at the desk. It’s…an odd feeling. Here I feel so far away from the only real family I’ve had for, what is it? Almost ten years now? I look at the box Hayato’s mother left on the desk, odd I don’t remember something like that with my things. Opening it I see some of my smaller personal belongings, including a picture of my parents before I was born and my grandfather’s hat that goes with the coat I’m wearing. I smile, silently thanking Hayato’s mother for putting some of my most cherished possessions in with my other school related objects.

I look over towards the closet. It is open, and there are uniforms in it, however I’ve already tried the shirts on and they irritate my skin. So it looks like I’ll have to be a little bit delinquent with the dress-code.

I had hoped there would be more unpacking to do, so I would at least have something to do. As it is I am terribly bored now. I remember my coat has my emergency pain medication, but what of the normal meds? Ah there they are. On the nightstand next to my bed. I read the label to make sure they’re the right ones:

“Gustav von Richthofen.

Take two tablets a day for pain related to nerve damage of the skin”

Yup, they’re mine. The more I think on the fact the only reason I can function day to day is because of some damn pills really makes me depressed. But whatever, it is what it is.

I take out two pills and leave them on my nightstand, since I already took my pills today. I make a mental note to remember to check out the library and preferably get some books. I get into the bed, which is surprisingly comfortable and eventually drift off to sleep. It isn’t entirely restful.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/13)

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 1:41 am
by Guestimate
Small Necro here, but oh well, this deserves a comment. Anyway, this is quite good, and I look forward to more, though the writing is a bit... bland maybe? I don't know, I can tell something is just a bit off, but it'd take a better writer than me to identify it.

So, Gustav has significant scarring from an event yet to be revealed, and I'm guessing that it give him chronic pain without the meds? Hm...That gives him a in with Hanako... Actually, it makes a twisted kind of sense, the big, intimidating guy and the small, shy girl. At least as long as he doesn't go all Protector mode, since we know where that leads...

And I thought of all that before I comprehended the library trip you mentioned at the end there, I guess that there is a bigger hint then...

Hm... I'm foreseeing Hayato and Emi or Miki goading each other into various dangerous situations at well...

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/13)

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 9:18 pm
by Steinherz
Guestimate wrote:Small Necro here, but oh well, this deserves a comment. Anyway, this is quite good, and I look forward to more, though the writing is a bit... bland maybe? I don't know, I can tell something is just a bit off, but it'd take a better writer than me to identify it.

So, Gustav has significant scarring from an event yet to be revealed, and I'm guessing that it give him chronic pain without the meds? Hm...That gives him a in with Hanako... Actually, it makes a twisted kind of sense, the big, intimidating guy and the small, shy girl. At least as long as he doesn't go all Protector mode, since we know where that leads...

And I thought of all that before I comprehended the library trip you mentioned at the end there, I guess that there is a bigger hint then...

Hm... I'm foreseeing Hayato and Emi or Miki goading each other into various dangerous situations at well...
I had originally had the medication bottle state outright (well more so than it does) but I decided against it XD. And "an in with Hanako"? I'm not sure what is meant by that.

Truthfully though, Gustav/Hayato are meant to be similar to how the girls are. They compliment each other, but their personalities are basically opposites of each other.
And oh god, Hayato and Miki/Emi would be a dangerous combination... I like it XD

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/13)

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:17 pm
by Guestimate
Steinherz wrote:"an in with Hanako"? I'm not sure what is meant by that.
It's... no... It's kind of like... no... Have you ever tried to explain a turn of phrase you understand instinctively? It's hard...

I guess, in this context, it is an extra point of commonality, that would help encourage a relationship to form, given Hanako's positive reaction when Hisao reveals his scar to her in canon.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/13)

Posted: Wed Jan 23, 2013 10:19 pm
by Steinherz
Guestimate wrote:
Steinherz wrote:"an in with Hanako"? I'm not sure what is meant by that.
It's... no... It's kind of like... no... Have you ever tried to explain a turn of phrase you understand instinctively? It's hard...

I guess, in this context, it is an extra point of commonality, that would help encourage a relationship to form, given Hanako's positive reaction when Hisao reveals his scar to her in canon.
ahhh, ok that makes more sense now.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/13)

Posted: Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:55 pm
by Steinherz
Scene 3: Reveille

A quick flash of my mother and sister, I see a shade of my father try to warn them. My mother turns, I see her scream. A car speeds towards them. Clear open ocean water, then immense searing pain.

***

I jolt awake, looking over to the clock next to my bed. The digital readout tells me it is 5:20 am. Nightmares have always tormented me since those two horrid events. Well, I know I won’t be able to go back to sleep, so I decide to get up and dressed for the day.

I grab my clothes and head for the showers. No one else seems to be up this early which is good for me. I’m not self-conscious about my body, but the scars ON my body are a different story.

Even though I take extra long for my routine it is still only 5:45. I don’t think anyone else is up at this time, so I decide to take a walk around the campus to clear my head. Before I leave my room, however, I make sure to grab my Father’s pocket watch to keep track of the time. I also grab my grandfather’s hat and head out of my room.

I really was woken up early by that damn nightmare. There is no one on the grounds. Slowly boredom creeps over me, and I decide to check the time. It’s still an hour or so before classes. I keep walking around, and it seems that now other people are starting to be up and about as I’m not the only one walking around the grounds anymore.

***

“So, Gustav what do you feel like doing, now that we’re done with class for today?” How Hayato always manages to sneak up on me I don’t know.

“Eh, not really sure. I was probably going to check out the town, get a feel for the area you know? What about you?”

“That’s why I was asking you dude. I have no clue what to do. I thought you’d have an idea.”

I did overhear one of the girls in our class mention a teahouse... “Well, I heard there is a teahouse near here. I think it’s called the Shanghai.”

“You and your tea.” Hayato is shaking his head in disbelief. “You know with all the tea you drink you should be a lot lighter than you are, Tubby.” He jabs me in the gut at this.

“Just because I work out and maintain a higher muscle mass doesn’t mean I’m fat, Hayato. So is that an agreement?”

“Well do you know where it is?”

Ah, that is a good point. “Err, no, not really.”

“Well do you have an idea of where the hell it is?”

“Nope.”

“Gustav, you’re hopeless at times.”

“Coming from you, that isn’t too much of an insult.”

“HEY!”

“Kidding.”

“Whatever man, why don’t you ask around if anyone knows where that tea shop is?”

“Sounds like a plan, I’ll text you when I find out.”

With this we part ways, Hayato heading to the dorms and I searching around for someone who may know their way around town.

Scene 4: A Smashing Hello

I decide to walk around the campus to try and find someone to show me the way to the Shanghai.

Looking forward as I turn a corner, not to my right, I hear a female shout “Look out!” I turn in time to see a girl running towards me. She won’t be able to stop fully in the short distance between us. This won’t end well…for her. She smashes into my side with enough force to make me stumble to the left a bit, she however falls back from my lack of movement. I turn to her and offer my hand to help her up.

“Sorry about that. Ow, has anyone told you you’re like a brick wall?” she takes my hand, and I help her up.

“No, but then again most people don’t run into me.” Looking at her, I recognize her from my class, but her name escapes me.

“I know you, we’re in the same class, but I didn‘t catch your name. Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“Oh, right. You’re one of the new kids right? I’m Miura, Miki Miura. And I was supposed to meet some people at the Shanghai, but I‘m running a little late.”

That’s good news for me. “By any chance would you mind if I tagged along? I’ve been meaning to find that place, but no-one would give me the time of day.” Okay that was a lie, I haven’t asked anyone yet.

“No problem, the more the merrier.” She reminds me of Hayato, full of energy.

“That’s good then, I should text my brother and let him-” She cuts me off

“Race you to the gate!”.

“Hey! Wait up!” I begin to run after her.

It takes me a bit to catch up to her, since she had a head start. When I finally catch up to her and tap her on the shoulder she looks a little shocked. Either by the fact that I caught her, or the fact I’m almost overtaking her. She suddenly slows down quickly causing me to barrel ahead of her. I hear her giggling at my attempts to slow myself.

“You know, if you caught up to me when I had a head start you should try out for the track team. You’re pretty fast.”

“I’m not fast, I’ve got longer legs than you. I travel farther in a shorter time so it looks like I’m moving faster than I am.”

“Whatever you say big guy.” Did she overhear Hayato calling me that? “But if you can keep up with me you’d have no problem on the track team.”

“Well, I’m not really good on a team. I’m not what you’d call a “team player,” and I usually prefer to be alone.”

“Then why were you hanging out with that other kid, the one with the sling?”

“Well, I kind of have to keep track of him. His parent’s are on my case about the fact that I, and I quote “can’t keep him from killing himself”. It’s like his parents actually believe I can control him.”

“What are you, his caregiver?” At this I stop.

“No, I’m his brother.”

“Bull. You look nothing like him.”

“Adopted.”

“Oh, that makes sense now.” She looks embarrassed now.

“Did I really come off that way?”

“Kind of. What’s wrong with him anyway? He’s got all his limbs, even if one is in a sling. Only thing that is odd about physically his eyes.”

“I’m not even sure what the proper term for it is, but he essentially can’t feel pain. Or to be more precise, he lacks the ability to acknowledge it. His body registers it though.”

“That sounds like it could be useful.”

“At times for him it is, however the fact that he’s a klutz and extremely reckless makes him prone to injuring himself.” And he has a very nasty personality trait involving pain, but I leave that out.

“Oh, when you put it that way it does sound like it would suck.”

“Mhmm.”

At this I fall silent for a time. Miki breaks the silence suddenly. “Hey, you never said what your name was.”

“Oh, I didn’t?”

“Nope.”

“Then I apologize. My name is von Richthofen, Gustav von Richthofen.”

“Okay, I’m just going to call you Gustav. I’ll probably hurt myself with that last name.” she laughs at her own joke.

I realize she may have some information on the school. “Hey, Miki, by any chance do you know where the school library is?”

“What?” She seemed a bit confused. “Oh the library? I could show you where it is. No problem.”

“Thank you for that.”

“Your welcome, oh and we’re here by the way.”

I look up and see the sign for the Shanghai. Damn, I wouldn’t have been able to find this place by myself even if I had tried.

I start to turn to head back to the school but Miki stops me. “Where are you going? You don’t want to go in?”

“Well I only asked if you would mind if I tagged along to the Shanghai as in going to it. I didn’t say I was going to stay and grab a drink.” I chuckle at the end, Miki looks upset.

“Wow, buzz kill man.” She does a bit of a pout, and now I feel bad.

“What you actually want me to stay and have some tea or whatever?”

“Well yeah, you’re new. I thought it’d be polite of me to do so.” She has a point, so why not. Though I feel like I’m forgetting something…

“Well when you put it like that, I guess I can stay for a while.”

“Come on then, I think the people I’m supposed to meet are inside already.”

The inside of the tea shop is surprising to say the least. There aren’t many people, but I guess that adds to the place. It isn’t modern on the inside - if anything it looks quite old.

Turning back to Miki, I notice she’s looking around. Perhaps the people she was supposed to meet aren’t here? “You looking for someone?”

She frowns. “Yeah, looks like they aren’t here.” She sighs. “Well, since we’re here want to get something?”

“Sure, why not? They have a menu?”

“I actually have no idea, I usually just ask for tea.”

“Oh, I see.”

“You don’t talk much do you?”

“Not really.”

“Uh-huh. Well I guess it’s refreshing for me. Usually I’m the one who isn’t talking much.”

I find that hard to believe, but I keep my mouth shut.

***

We spend the next thirty minutes or so discussing school and the upcoming festival. I don’t really feel like going so I’ll most likely stay inside during it. Miki realizes she forgot to bring her money so I have to pick up the tab, but it isn’t that much so it doesn’t matter to me.

Walking back to the school, I still have a nagging sense I’ve forgotten something. What was it? Ah well. We get outside the dorms, and Miki turns to me.

“Hey, thanks for picking up the tab.”

“No problem, it wasn’t even that much.”

“Yeah but I don’t like it when people pay for my stuff”

“Heh, don’t worry about it.”

“Ok then. See you around then?”

“Most likely.”

We part ways, and I head back to my room. As I get to my door I hear Hayato’s door open.

“Hey man, where have you been?” Shit, that’s what I forgot.

“I’ve been at... the... Shanghai.”

“Did you forget about me?”

“Actually yes, I did. Sorry.”

“It’s cool. Whatever man. I actually got kind of distracted today as well.” He goes back into his room and closes his door.

I enter my room and go towards my bed. Sitting on the side I think on some things. Memories of my family. The new memories that can be made here. Before I know it I feel my eyes getting heavy. I decide to call it a day and go to sleep.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/25)

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2013 1:25 am
by Steinherz
just a small bit of update/info. I've been having issues with college chewing up my time, so I haven't had the time to work on this fic.
However, with the blizzard that just blew through here I've gotten the time needed XD.
So hopefully an update sometime this week or so.

Re: Painless, Scarred and the Broken Heart (Updated 1/25)

Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:44 pm
by Steinherz
Scene 5: Distracted (An Aside with Hayato)

I get no farther than halfway back to the dorms before I hear someone running up behind me. I stop and turn, thinking the Big Guy forgot something. Unfortunately it wasn’t as I see bright pink hair.

“Hello Misha, you need something?” I say as she runs up to me.

“Yup!” She responds back with all too much enthusiasm “Shicchan and I wanted to know if you’d mind helping us with work for the festival coming up.”

Damn, I had hoped I could avoid getting roped in with these two. Ah well, spending time with two attractive girls doesn’t sound so bad.

“Well, I was going to go back to the dorms and practice, though. Busy, busy you know?”

“Practice? What are you practicing?” Misha seems actually… interested? Oh boy, what did I get myself into?

“I was going to practice my guitar. I’ve kind of been neglecting the poor girl.”

“Your guitar is a girl? That is kind of odd.”

“No, I just call it a girl.”

“Oh, that makes sense. Kind of.” She seems to be slightly confused.

“Oh, you see, I call it a girl because of how much time I spend with her you know? I’ve been playing for… umm.” I scratch the back of my head attempting to remember exactly. “About 13 or 14 years now? Not to brag, but I think I’m pretty good.”

“Wahaha~! You’ll have to show me that sometime.” She smiles, and it’s a genuine statement. I’m getting a feeling that while she may be loud and slightly annoying, she is true in what she says.

“I guess when you put it that way, sure why not?” I feel myself smiling despite not wanting to. Her personality is definitely contagious and much better than Gustav’s. “What’s an extra day of not playing my guitar after a couple months.” I laugh at the end to let her know I’m joking.

“That’s great!” She jumps a little to accentuate her point. “Shicchan will be glad someone is helping us.”

“Yeah, you mentioned you two were on the student council right?”

“Yup!”

“Just you two? Or is there anyone else?”

“Oh, umm…” She fidgets a little, seeming to not want to answer. “The thing is..”

“It’s all right Misha. If you don’t feel like answering that question,” which I already feel like I know the answer to, “you don’t have to. I’ll help.”

“Wahaha~! That’s great! Come on Hacchan!”

Hacchan? Really? Well I could think of worse things to get called so that one isn’t so bad. She pulls on my arm to lead me to wherever it is we are going. She has a surprising amount of strength for her small frame. With the amount she’s pulling on my right arm she could probably even drag the Big Guy around.

She leads me to a room back in the school and pulls me in behind her. Walking in, I see the other half of the duo working intently on some papers. Misha walks over to her and taps the girl, Shizune if I remember her name correctly, on the shoulder. She looks up and Misha does some hand motions and points to me. The other girl looks at me and smiles as she adjusts her glasses. She snaps her fingers quite loudly and does some more motions to Misha.

“Wahaha~! Shicchan wanted to thank you for agreeing to help us. I’m also going to thank you as well, so thank you~!” She says with all too much enthusiasm. I nod in response to her.

“So what is it you two need help with?”

“Shicchan and I needed help sorting the information sheets for the upcoming festival. That’s really all we needed help with.”

“How much sorting can it be? I mean seriously, that’s it?”

“Umm…” Misha points to another side of the room. I see a large stack of papers.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me. That is a lot of paper.” I sigh “I’ll take half of the stack you get the other half?

“Sure Hacchan~. That’s sounds fair.” She smiles widely.

I help the two of them with sorting the papers for a while. After the first 15 papers, though, I decide to take off my sling since it keeps getting in the way. It feels good to have my arm being able to move unrestricted by anything. Doing so also improves my performance as we finish up in a an hour or two.

Misha is, of course, the first one to break the silence.

“I think we’re done now Hacchan.” She says, stretching herself out.

“Oh really? I couldn’t tell from all the fun I was having.” My somewhat tired voice dripping with sarcasm. It seems to have been lost on Misha though.

“Wahaha~! That was fun for you? Really?”

“No, not at all. It was actually very, very boring. But I had nothing else to do today, so helping you two out wasn’t a waste of time.” I shrug as I stand up. “But it wasn’t that bad. I’m just glad I had something to do.” I laugh a little and Misha smiles.

“I see, even though it wasn’t very interesting for you, it did help Shicchan and I. So thank you for doing that.” She smiles warmly.

“It was no issue, really.” I nod a little.

“I know that Hacchan, but you still helped out quite a lot. Shicchan and I wanted to know if you’d like to join the Student Council, though.” She smiles a bit more. I think on it.

“I’ll think about it. How ‘bout that? I don’t really like organized groups after being on a boxing team.” I respond simply and truthfully.

“Aww, ok.” She frowns a little bit “But a “maybe” is better than nothing!” She really seems to be a person who can’t seem to stay upset.

“Eh, I think I’m going to head back to my room since we’re done here.”

“Wahaha~! Ok Hacchan, we’ll see you tomorrow then.”

We part ways, and I head back to my room. I spend some time tuning up my guitar until I hear someone walking down the hall. Or, more correctly, I hear a very noticeable, heavy footstep pattern. Looks like the Big Guy finally came back. I open my door and I decide to throw him a question.

“Hey man, where have you been?” He seems to stop and realize something.

“I’ve been at... the... Shanghai.”

“Did you forget about me?” I ask him.

“Actually yes, I did. Sorry.” Ouch, my feelings.

“It’s cool. Whatever man. I actually got kind of distracted today as well.”

At this I decide to end our chat and I decide to go to bed. It doesn’t take long for me to fall asleep.