Seiji Shoujo

[kirby]

Seiji Shoujo

I’m so, so, so sorry about this.
--

A flurry of particles bit at Hisao’s cheek. The early morning streets of Tokyo were dressed in fresh snow. Pristine, except for the strong smell of sulfide from the idling delivery van. He would have liked to scratch his nose, but his hands were full.

Across from him, Misha shared a two-man hold on a ridiculously heavy cardboard box. Shizune closed the van’s door with a *thump* and signaled the driver, who waved goodbye. The van turned back into the city street, leaving an opaque cloud of exhaust in the winter air. Hisao held his breath as they stepped through it.

“Watch your step Hisao.” The curled girl, bound in a puffy winter coat, warned him of the curb.

“Got it. Thanks, Misha.” Hisao replied. He stepped high. Misha followed him and they trudged towards the entrance.

The pathway hadn’t been shoveled yet, last nights blizzard was still in its throes. Shizune trotted past them, the girl had moxie in her step, and held the glass doors open with a glimmering smile. Hisao and Misha carried their load inside, and just as Shizune’s scarf began to dance again, she shut the door behind her, muting the resurgent storm.

Bits of snow filtered off the three of them as they walked back down the hallway. Into a larger room, and to a pile of similar cardboard boxes. Misha circled around it, and with relief, they placed the apex.

“Done.”

Rather than speak, they signed it in unison. Misha held the last motion just a bit longer than the others, and then let out one her wonderful laughs.

“I can’t believe they arrived in time.” The Misha said aloud. Since college, Shizune had improved lipreading, but would have caught the sentiment anyway. The two girls embraced and their winter coats rubbed with a high-pitched scratch.

Shizune signed behind the other girls back.

“Thank you Hisao, I’m so glad you came.”

Hisao was surprised to meet them at the campaign office the night before. It was nearly five years since they first met, in Yamaku high school. Now twenty-two, they walked together into the break room, feeling like the old friends they were. In the closet, Misha and Hisao hung up their coats while Shizune unraveled her soft blue scarf. The last flakes brushed onto the floor.

The trio sat on the couch, Misha and Hisao, with Shizune in between. Hisao’s cheeks were stinging red, blood rushing to warm them up. He reached around his old friend Shizune, meeting Misha, who was preforming the same maneuver. Their hands met, and both were surprised at how cold the girl in the middle was. They settled into a three-person huddle, warming each other's limbs.

Shizune sighed, or perhaps the air was forced out of her by her girlfriend and high school crush leaning into her simultaneously. Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small steno-pad. She flipped to a particular page and crossed out a line.

“I can’t believe it’s almost here.” Shizune signed with one hand, placing the steno-pad back in her pocket. “Today is the 28th, so the election is only a week away.”

The others nodded in agreement. It was certainly drawing close, and the excitement was growing exponentially with each day. The entire office was buzzing with volunteers, scrambling to reach out to voters at the last moment. Hisao hadn’t planned on coming, but his fiance was deeply involved, and convinced him to spend the last days of Christmas break at the campaign office with her.

And Hisao’s fiance was deeply involved, a card-carrying employee and frantic supporter of her uncle. She had just finished teaching the morning training for the call center when she stepped into the break room.

Three hands waved in greeting as Emi passed. She smiled and waved back as she bobbed by on her prosthetics, though they were concealed under her pants. Between the closet and couch was a refrigerator. Inside, Emi kept her nalgene bottle, the same she had used at Yamaku every morning.

Emi opened the lid and lifted it to her pink lips.

“Did you hear?” she said after finishing. Misha translated. “The boss is on his way here.”

“What? Paul-sensei is coming here?” Hisao said back to her.

Emi made herself at home in his lap, and Hisao withdrew his arm from Shizune to wrap around her stomach, and rock her left and right, lovingly.

“Ha ha ha. Hisao, of course he’s coming. He wants to meet you, too.” She tried to turn towards her fiance, but he held her tighter. Her hair, formally twin tails, was now a beautiful light brown mane. Something ruffled on the back of her head, pressing through to kiss her neck.

“Hisao...” She squirmed and giggled at the affection. “Stop, that tickles.”

Shizune’s shoulder supported her girlfriend’s head while they watched the engaged couple. Gently, she nuzzled the pink haired girl’s ear. They needed no translation to understand Hisao and Emi’s coos, and felt the vibrations of each other as they made a few of their own.

--

The four friends had gone back to work. Misha and Shizune had begun opening the boxes which had arrived that morning. They sorted pamphlets and sign materials for the campaign, and rationed them to each local support groups. Later they would be sent out, to be distributed by other volunteers.

Hisao sat in the call center, dialing numbers and reading the script. He was surprised at the reactions, nearly everybody heard him out. Hisao knew the media poll numbers. Other candidates were labeled “front runners” and Paul-sensei was mostly ignored. How could it be that the majority he spoke to were enthusiastic supporters?

Each call list was demographically homogenised, so didn't that represent a clear lead in the race? Hisao’s heart began to pick up. The excitement was contagious. Paul-sensei would become his uncle-in-law... And later that year... Prime Minister of Japan.

He drank from a nalgene bottle, borrowed from Emi, and calmed himself. He reminded himself that his last semester of college started the next month. He would be a graduate soon, too. Yes, 2012 would be an amazing year for Hisao Nakai.

A girl peeked into the call center and waved as Hisao. It was Emi. He took off his headset and met her in the hallway.

“He’s going to arrive any moment.” Emi led him to the break room. “I wanted to get you so we can-”

But she was cut off, because as the crossed the break room threshold, a thin grey-haired man was already standing there.

“Paul-sensei!” Emi darted towards him while Hisao stopped in his tracks.

“Oh Emi-chan, there you are.” The older man’s face blossomed into a wrinkled smile. The woman hugged him. Even with here longer prosthetics, he was still a head above her. “I’m so happy to see you’re helping here.” Paul-sensei patted his niece lovingly. His round nose was turning red, as he couldn’t help but broadcast how much he loved her.

“And this is... Hisao, I presume?” He looked down questioningly. The girl let go of him and turned back to Hisao.

“Yes, let me introduce you.” Emi said. “Sensei, this is my fiance. Hisao Nakai.”

He stepped towards Hisao. Despite his old age, he appeared as healthy as a man in his forties. His long arm outstretched to Hisao, offering a handshake. Hisao accepted.

“And Hisao, this is my uncle, Ron Paul-sensei.”

Hisao found the doctors grip to be surprisingly tight. Not to be outdone, he squeezed back.

“Thank you for taking care my niece.” Paul-sensei said. “With the campaign and all, I can’t look after her like I used to.”

“You don’t need to be so formal, ya know.” Emi looked perturbed. The two finished the handshake, but Hisao followed with a quick bow.

“When is the wedding, again?” The older man asked.

“June 1st” Emi replied immediately, with incredible enthusiasm.

“Not if I have anything to do with it. The sea is calling me.” Hisao spontaneously grew a beard and a peg leg.

“What you do within your own personal liberty is your own business.” Paul-sensei said.

“What? Hisao? What are you doing with that hair all over you?” Emi was confused.

“Avast, ye harlot, I be settin’ sail tonight!” And Hisao jumped through the glass door of the campaign office, shattering it into the fresh snow. He ran down the street towards Tokyo bay, bleeding from little cuts on his body. Every other step gave a clank and his peg scraped the icy pavement.

His ship was waiting for him and Hisao climbed aboard. The crew of the damned had readied her, the katawa-rose, and they departed immediately.

Hisao sat in his cabin, muttering to himself in an incomprehensible language, long forgotten by mortals. He sharpened the harpoon in his hands with the leather of his own flesh.

A cackle outside his window, followed by a tapping on the shutters alerted Hisao. He dropped his instrument of death in supprise and anxiously folded his hands onto each other, like a fly. It was perfectly natural, his wings had already begun to grow.

Hisao opened the window and a parrot flew in.

“Hello Hisao. I’ve come to join you on your adventure.” It was Paul-sensei. He had transformed into a parrot.

“Yes, yes. Very good. The plan is underway then?” Hisao asked.

The parrot squawked and flew to his shoulder. Hasio nodded in understanding. He fed Ron Paul a cracker and picked up his harpoon.

The plan was definitely underway.

[Guest]

Pauly want a cracker?

[Mirage_GSM]

I was going to comment on the motion that a gaikokujin would have any chance of becoming prime minister of Japan, but considering the end, I think that detail can be waived...

[Danonymous]

My thought process as I read this story:

"Oh, so they're into politics? Certainly seem like something Shizune would do. And those two are lesbians, as well? Not especially surprising I gue- Oh, and Emi too? Can't say I was expecting that.

Wait, Paul-sensei? Is this guy half Japanese or something? Whatever, Hisao's in the call center, things are looking good, oh Emi's uncle is here. He seems ni- RON PAUL?! What?

Okay, that makes no damn sense, but maybe this author is trying to make a statement about the upcoming elections- Aaaaaaand Hisao's a pirate. Suddenly this is turning into a Bromont thread, is this a... *scrolls up* No, it's not Bromont. Okay, and- wait, what? Why is he running to the bay- Wait, he's the cockroach from ATHF- Ron Paul is a parrot- Plan?! What plan?

I feel confused, and violated..."

[kirby]

My thought process as I read this story:

"Oh, so they're into politics? Certainly seem like something Shizune would do. And those two are lesbians, as well? Not especially surprising I gue- Oh, and Emi too? Can't say I was expecting that.

Wait, Paul-sensei? Is this guy half Japanese or something? Whatever, Hisao's in the call center, things are looking good, oh Emi's uncle is here. He seems ni- RON PAUL?! What?

Okay, that makes no damn sense, but maybe this author is trying to make a statement about the upcoming elections- Aaaaaaand Hisao's a pirate. Suddenly this is turning into a Bromont thread, is this a... *scrolls up* No, it's not Bromont. Okay, and- wait, what? Why is he running to the bay- Wait, he's the cockroach from ATHF- Ron Paul is a parrot- Plan?! What plan?

I feel confused, and violated..."

Sorry about that. There was a point, and I think it's obvious where, that I asked myself "Am I seriously writing a Ron Paul x Katawa Shoujo crossover?"...

Edit: As for the title, though I think the crowd here may already know, "Seiji Shoujo" translates (via google) to "Political Girl".

[Worthington]

I would totally read a serious Ron Paul x Katawa Shoujo fanfic.

[Mirage_GSM]

Oh, so this Ron Paul is an actual person...
You might have mentioned that for us non-US citizens.

[Worthington]

Oh, so this Ron Paul is an actual person...
You might have mentioned that for us non-US citizens.

He has somewhat of a memetic status (now eclipsed by Herman Cain and Rick Perry).

[Guest]

I just don't even know anymore.