Katawa Shoujo Forums

swampie2 wrote:

That'd be a great one shot, I had to throw together some janky art.

That looks amazing! Good job! If I'd gotten to the point where I can reveal it in Fixers, I'd do something with the Molly sprite I've made...

Really liking this . And to think it started out as a one-shot that's now blossomed into 6 parts (at the time of me writing this)

Hesmiyu wrote:Really liking this . And to think it started out as a one-shot that's now blossomed into 6 parts (at the time of me writing this)

Thanks Hes! Koharu is such an interesting character to me that I just couldn't stop myself from writing more.

-This chapter has been snipped-

Ah, I should have asked if you wanted to keep the original hair and eye colours

A good introduction to Taiki and I look forward to more of this story. The characters are a blast and you're doing good work with them! (Good luck with your uni prep work, sir)

Sharp-O wrote:Ah, I should have asked if you wanted to keep the original hair and eye colours

Don't worry about it, Just a simple job to get it just how I wanted.

Thanks for the kind words!

Hmm... I was a bit disappointed that we didn't get to know about the conclusion of Hisao's and Ayumu's "date"
Ensemble cast seems to be "in" these days - just make sure you don't splinter the story too many ways.

Oh, and Hideaki is a given name, and they are probably not on first name basis with their boss, are they?

..."Scarven"? I understand what you mean, but I don't think that's really a word.

Mirage_GSM wrote:Oh, and Hideaki is a given name, and they are probably not on first name basis with their boss, are they?

Though he is their boss, It's a small family diner, so I like the think that Hideaki treats them more like grandchildren than employees.

Silentcook wrote:..."Scarven"? I understand what you mean, but I don't think that's really a word.

To be scarfed? that isn't a word either.

Hey, it's a word now. "Scarven; to wear a scarf, but with a healthy amount of gravitas"

I'm looking forwards to your next installments!

There have been some... changes. The last chapter has been retconned, and Taiki is no longer a part of this universe. I shoehorned this character in pretty hard and upon reading, I don't think that'd go too well.

It's been a while since I updated this, so hopefully I haven't lost the magic touch.

---

"Hisao?" Ayumu draws my attention to her outstretched hand, holding a glass of milk in her shaky hand.

"Yeah, sorry, zoned out for a second there." I chuckle as I carefully lift the glass from her hand. It's only filled about halfway. I'm unsure if it started that way or if there is a wet carpet somewhere between the kitchen and here.

"You do that a lot." She places her glass on the low table and seats herself, her back impacting against her bed with a thunk. "Do you actually think of things or just go braindead?" She giggles.

"I just cured sensori-neural deafness in my mind, actually." I smirk.

"Bless you." She smirks back, her large green eyes locked on mine. "I think I'm all tricked out, Hisao." She sighs, her hands limp by her side.

"What? It's only been..." I check my watch. "Three hours!" The sarcasm is almost suffocating. We share a laugh and Koharu sips at her milk, as do I. Usually people offer tea or coffee, so when she offered straight milk I couldn't say no. Koharu's glass clinks off her teeth as she brings it to her face, her hands shaking far more than when we started. With some finesse, she reigns the glass under her control and takes a large gulp. It must be a pain dealing with motor problems. Sure deafness and missing limbs suck, but having something that's there and aaaalmost works must be frustrating.

"There you go again! Earth to Hisao."

"Sorry, Hisao is away right now." I continue my stare over her shoulder, causing her to burst into laughter once again.

---

"Moooorning lovebirds!" Aki spreads her arms out wide as she greets us, her twintails bobbing erratically. Arata stifles a laugh while Shin simply puts up with his mismatched companions, as he usually has to.

"You should have seen this guy, Aki!" Koharu measures out a good 13 inches with her hands and winks, causing Arata to lose any chance of hiding his laughter as he bursts out laughing. My face flushes slightly as my brain rushes to find something funny... and fails.

"Pshh, I don't believe it." Aki grins as we begin our small walk towards the school building.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." My brain finally lurches into gear, almost flooring Arata. "Where's Shin?" I change the topic as Arata wheezes behind us.

"Class rep duties apparently." Aki turns her head over her shoulder as she speaks, her one metallic leg clacking arrhythmicaly.

"Seems like he works pretty hard as the representative." The conversation flows on as our formation marches forward towards a truly dull way to spend a day; School. Before we know it, we reach the school building and split apart, Koharu and I making our way up the stairs while Arata and Aki break off to the left, towards the second year classrooms. Before long, Koharu and I say our goodbyes and move towards our respective classrooms.

---

Sliding into my seat, I notice that Misha is missing. Shizune sits in her seat, tapping her pen on the desk as she stares into space. I decide to leave her to her own devices and pull my books from my bag, just a Mutou enters the room and drops his bag beside his desk. Not a moment later, another teacher enters the room and stands before the class as Mutou raises his voice to begin corralling the class.

"Ahem. This is miss Ikoma, she'll be translating the lessons this week." He announces. Well, it's more of a mutter, but an announcement for Mutou's gravely voice. As Mutou said, the new teacher signs along with his speech. The class begin to bicker but are quickly silenced as Mutou scratches Miss Ikoma's name onto the board, as well as the book and page we'll be working on today. With a collective sigh, we open our books and ready ourselves for the class. As Mutou lists off formulas and Miss Ikoma's hands cut through the air, my interest is lost. This is stuff I know, mostly, anyway.

With my curiosity the only thing left to satiate, I tear a page from my notepad and scrawl a message before sliding it onto Misha's empty desk. Luckily it catches Shizune's attention as she reaches over and reads the note before penning her reply and sliding the page back.

Where's Misha?

Suspended. Don't ask.

Shizune's glare follows the page, and so I decide to shelve any further questions in fear of having my eyes gouged out. My mind begins to play over the possibilities, but by the end of the lesson, I haven't come up with anything plausible.

How did Misha get herself suspended?

... What is it with you and picking on Misha?

But seriously, what could she have done that was so bad as to earn a suspension? Sexually harrassing Shizune? Defacing school property? I'm kinda drawing a blank here so I can't wait to see what it is!

Sharp-O wrote:... What is it with you and picking on Misha?

Don't you just despise her?

Things will be explained soon!

I like it so far. Your new characters are fun and original, even if Hisao's mom comes across as a bit too over the top.

I'd lighten up on the necktie stuff though. Once was a nice reference but you're really pushing it now, unless you actually want them to officially give him Necktie as a nickname. Seems like something they might do.

Casting pictures for your characters is actually something I tend to do myself. It always helps me having something to look at for quick reference. I've actually made a seating chart for Lilly's entire class for some of my stuff. Glad to see I'm not the only one that does that.

Oh, please don't use that light blue for text anymore. It's a bit hard to read.

I just ended up learning a lot of card tricks, coins are next.

In the spirit of the topic, I'll share my favorite coin trick. (it actually works better with paper money, but quarters are okay too.)

Ask somebody if they want to see a trick (don't say a magic trick. just a trick.) Then ask for two bill (or quarters). It doesn't matter what they are, but they have to be the same type.

Ask the person who gave them to you to examine them. Make sure nothing is wrong or funny. Once they say they're okay, shuffle them around, put them behind your back, fold them, whatever.

Then hold them both back out and say “Which one of them did you give me?”

They're say both or something to that effect. Then you say “Thanks for giving them to me,” and pocket them.

A post to this thread, what year is it?
Suppose I should pull out my notes and see where I was going with this story before it trailed off.

Oddball wrote:I like it so far. Your new characters are fun and original, even if Hisao's mom comes across as a bit too over the top.

It's always been my headcanon that his mom has been over the top, I think that was solely formed when he mentions that his mother calls him Hicchan. That, and the character was based off Misaki from Sakurasou no pet, one of the most Genki girls I've seen.

Oddball wrote:I'd lighten up on the necktie stuff though. Once was a nice reference but you're really pushing it now, unless you actually want them to officially give him Necktie as a nickname. Seems like something they might do.

I imagined the cast as one that'd give each other nicknames, not only with Koharu's dislike of her own name (But I didn't give her one for some reason?) but with the brother's names too.

Oddball wrote:Casting pictures for your characters is actually something I tend to do myself. It always helps me having something to look at for quick reference. I've actually made a seating chart for Lilly's entire class for some of my stuff. Glad to see I'm not the only one that does that.

It did help me place the characters, for sure. I always have images of character's in my mind when I write them, so having the readers think about those same images as I was when I was writing it might help.

Oddball wrote:Oh, please don't use that light blue for text anymore. It's a bit hard to read.

Anymore, huh?

I've had a couple different plans to try bring this story back to where I wanted it, like retconning Taiki... That didn't really work. Maybe I'll continue this one day, who knows? Either way, thanks for reading and critiquing my work Oddball, means a lot.