Page 5 of 14

Re: The United States of Misha Updated 5/13

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 12:20 am
by Hoitash
griffon8 wrote:Excellent! More Misha goodness.

I would be surprised if anything started happening between Kelly and Misha, but everyone needs friends who understand what you're going through.
Hoitash wrote:Chapter Six: Dinner and a Movie

“Oh, there here,” Will said, appearing from the bathroom, “hello.”
“Oh, they're here,” Will said, appearing from the bathroom. “Hello.”
Thanks, and fixed :)

Ugh, they're I usually get...

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 2:35 pm
by bradpara
I just noticed something....

I think that Misha has become a Chick Magnet

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 8:53 pm
by Hoitash
bradpara wrote:I just noticed something....

I think that Misha has become a Chick Magnet
Well, as alluring as she is to the opposite sex, it's only fair if she's batting for the same team that they should show some interest, too :wink:

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:18 pm
by VenomSymbiote
Having been a bit behind, I read both Chapter 6 and Chapter 7. Chapter 7 was alright, but I have some things to say about Ch. 6. Oh, chapter 6...

First of all, making Misha drink... Oh my god, that bothered me so much. Being a college student myself, I can testify that yes, college kids drink, even though they usually know that its illegal for them to do so. That in itself doesn't bother me too much, but the fact that Misha drank just... I can't describe how much I disliked that. You put a disclaimer on that chapter that stated that you were afraid that Misha was a bit OOC in that chapter. Your fears were justifed- that was easily the thing that has bothered me the most over this whole fic- I just can't see her doing that, as "harmless" as it appears to be (which, incidentally, was also a compliant I had with Lilly's route in KS).

It never occured to me, but you're right- "Misha" is (sterotypically, it seems) a Russian name. Having Lynda point it out during their dinner was something I really enjoyed reading. In addition, I can totally see Misha's mom being a cook. It explains so much! Props to you for that nice detail.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 5:41 pm
by Hoitash
VenomSymbiote wrote:Having been a bit behind, I read both Chapter 6 and Chapter 7. Chapter 7 was alright, but I have some things to say about Ch. 6. Oh, chapter 6...

First of all, making Misha drink... Oh my god, that bothered me so much. Being a college student myself, I can testify that yes, college kids drink, even though they usually know that its illegal for them to do so. That in itself doesn't bother me too much, but the fact that Misha drank just... I can't describe how much I disliked that. You put a disclaimer on that chapter that stated that you were afraid that Misha was a bit OOC in that chapter. Your fears were justifed- that was easily the thing that has bothered me the most over this whole fic- I just can't see her doing that, as "harmless" as it appears to be (which, incidentally, was also a compliant I had with Lilly's route in KS).

It never occured to me, but you're right- "Misha" is (sterotypically, it seems) a Russian name. Having Lynda point it out during their dinner was something I really enjoyed reading. In addition, I can totally see Misha's mom being a cook. It explains so much! Props to you for that nice detail.
Thanks, glad you enjoyed what you did :)

As to Lilly drinking, a Fridge Brilliance that some people had was that it isn't the booze she likes, its that when someone drinks wine, really drinks it, it invokes all the senses. It's a high class thing to do, really, to not just drink the wine, but to smell it, hear it, and let it slowly roll through their mouth and down their throat. Lilly would not only be aware of that, but probably like it a lot. Just throwing that out there, your point is still valid.

Back to Misha- the beer. Well, I've taken the idea from KS that Misha has a curious nature, and the beer sort of went with that. Just a warning, while I don't have her drink very often, she will be drinking a bit in the next two episodes.

Which is funny you mention Lilly, because I just realized her first in novel consumption of wine is oddly similar to one I have written regarding Misha and some wine.

Speaking of college, besides hiding booze, one of my roommates was a stoner, which made things interesting sometimes :)

Three words: Risk freak-out.

Again, thanks for commenting and reading.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 8:26 pm
by Mirage_GSM
I find it a bit funny that in a fanfic to a VN that contains graphic sex scenes, people find it offensive if someone who is about 20 years old is drinking a beer...
Especially since here in Germany the legal drinking age for beer is 16 years. I'm not sure about the state of New York. Is the legal age there older than 20?

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sat May 26, 2012 8:34 pm
by Hoitash
Mirage_GSM wrote:I find it a bit funny that in a fanfic to a VN that contains graphic sex scenes, people find it offensive if someone who is about 20 years old is drinking a beer...
Especially since here in Germany the legal drinking age for beer is 16 years. I'm not sure about the state of New York. Is the legal age there older than 20?
(puts on historian hat)

By federal law, the drinking age in the entirety of the United States of America is set at 21. All states are free to set their own drinking age, however, if they do so, they void their federal road maintenance funding. Or something like that.

The drinking age in Ontario is 19, so Lynda has been exposed to alcohol before. The drinking age in Japan is 20.

The more you know.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 9:25 am
by Hoitash
I feel the need to defend this chapter, but I really want it to stand for itself, so I’ll do that.

Previous Chapter

Chapter Eight: Going Bump in the Night


September and October rolled by as Misha concentrated on schoolwork. Her classes were going well, and she did pretty good in her first exams. People had always thought she was dim, but when she applied herself, she did well, even if it was exhausting. Working so much on school meant she spent less time attending International Student and LGBTQ events, but she tried to attend a few. She managed to call Shizune and Hisao regularly, and had even managed to arrange a game of Risk with them and Carla after Carla had finished a shift as a cashier at her on campus job.

She made a point to spend time with Lynda, however. Every Friday the two ate an early dinner and watched the movie. Misha had also taken to haunting the “student lounge” on Thursday afternoons, watching her play with Will and Jerry. She didn’t really understand the game, and she spent most of the time watching Lynda, who didn’t seem to mind. Misha found she could be open with Lynda about things, even if she rarely brought up her past- something Lynda rarely did, either.

As the weeks had dragged on, Misha’s hair had finally returned to its old color, and had managed to grow just past her shoulders. She had also managed to lose a few pounds, probably from not eating parfaits the size of her head whenever she was depressed.

As October drew to a close, two thoughts floated around Misha’s mind when she gave them the chance. One, her birthday was coming up. Two, Halloween was approaching. Taking place on a Friday, with her birthday the next day, would hopefully make for a great weekend, and some news from Carla helped her hold that opinion.

After her call to Hisao ended Thursday, Carla came bursting through the front door, which slammed into the wall protector before shutting itself. Still wearing her work clothes, Carla plopped onto the edge of her bed and let out a stream of increasingly angered Italian for the better part of fifteen minutes. After wearing herself out, Misha asked what was wrong.

“My boss wants me to work the Halloween shift after I’ve made all sorts of plans, and no one else wants to take my shift, and I lost my goddamned cell phone and can’t find it!” Carla shouted, surprising Misha.

“Cacchan, I‘m sorry~, that really sucks; when do you get off work tomorrow?” Misha’s English had greatly improved thanks to osmosis and constant talking with Lynda, who was very patient with her. The accent was still an issue, though.

Carla sighed, “ten pm, which isn’t so bad, I guess. I just wanted to get a good start on the partying before the amateurs get hammered and start making a mess.”

Misha thought for a moment, “Well, Dave is throwing a late night party, you could go to that; he doesn’t get off work until ten, also,” Misha’s social network had expanded over the weeks, and the constant migration of students between the co-ed by floor floors hadn’t hurt, either.

Carla nodded, “good point. Thanks, Misha. I was being a bit dramatic, wasn’t I?”

Misha giggled, “maybe a bit~.”

Carla snorted, “well, enough about me, do you have any plans tomorrow?”

Misha shrugged; Henry’s movie night was cancelled so he could attend a party himself, with Will in tow. She had no idea what Lynda was doing, but there was a party on the second floor she wanted to go to, which she mentioned to Carla.

“Good for you. Have fun, meet some cute guys, take advantage of them when their drunk…”

Misha put her hands on her hips, “Cacchan, I am not that kind of girl~,” in more ways than one, possibly.

Carla shrugged, “suit yourself. I was only kidding anyway. Besides,” Carla’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, “the way things are going between you and Lynda, I can see where you wouldn’t be ‘that kind of girl.’”

Misha raised an eyebrow, “how are things going between us?”

Carla rolled her eyes, “you eat dinner with her every Friday for two months, you spend most of Thursday nights watching her play with those two dorks, and you think you’re just friends? The girl is obviously interested in more then friendship.”

“You watch too much TV,” Misha said, facing back to her laptop to work on a paper.

“Maybe,” Carla admitted, “but you gotta admit, if I thought about it, odds are really good you two have as well.”

That was… an accurate statement, Misha decided after a while.


==

Misha examined herself in the mirror Friday afternoon. The party wasn’t a costume party, though a few students wore ones around campus, so she wasn’t worried about that. The knee length orange skirt and matching long-sleeved T-shirt was festive, and after a minute adjustment of a hairclip- with little jack-o-lanterns instead of hearts- she decided she was ready. Nodding to her reflection, she left the bathroom and opened her front door, nearly running into Lynda, who was on the verge of knocking. She was wearing a black top and skirt, both relatively conservative; Lynda’s begrudging acknowledgment of autumn.

“Hi, Lycchan,” Misha said in Japanese; Lynda and Carla had picked up a few words of the language, though their pronunciation was terrible.

“Hi, Michan,” Lynda said, playing along, “going out?”

Misha nodded, “oh, shoot, sorry I didn’t tell you. I just assumed because we weren’t doing the movie night, you wouldn’t want to meet for dinner~.”

Lynda pouted, which sent a few odd emotions running through Misha’s mind and other organs, “and miss our date? Hell, no! So where’re you going?”

Date? Was Carla right? Or was Lynda using the word more casually then Misha thought- English’s nuances still eluded her sometimes.

Deciding to worry about it later, Misha told Lynda about the party, “you wanna come?” she asked, seeing Lynda’s pout remain as she explained.

Lynda’s pout vanished and she smiled broadly, nearly bouncing on her feet in excitement, “sure thing. Just don’t let me drink too much, I don’t want a hangover for your birthday,” Lynda had asked Misha her sign once, and asked about her birthday afterwards. Lynda’s was in April.

“Why, are you planning something?”

Lynda shrugged, “maybe~” she answered, copying Misha’s lilting voice. Raising an eyebrow lightly, Misha left her dorm, shutting the door behind her. She was shocked when Lynda locked arms with her, but didn’t protest. She did, however, mention that she wasn’t parading her sexual orientation around the dorms.

Lynda shrugged, “if anyone asks, tell them I’m drunk and you’re keeping me upright.”

“Doesn’t alcohol interact with your medication?” Misha asked as they ascended the stairs at the end of the hall. Lynda shrugged again.

“Only if I take them,” she said- which she hadn’t, judging by her perky attitude. Misha wondered dimly what her downswings were like, since she always seemed to miss them, but feeling Lynda’s smooth, soft skin against her own was making it hard to think straight.

The party had more or less started; both suite doors were propped open, and men and women meandered between them, indifferent to who was staying where. The party’s hosts, Bill, Ted, John, and Frank, mingled around the group, discreetly offering alcoholic beverages to those who enquired. Misha was only mildly surprised to see Lorraine playing beer pong with a second floor RA.

“Wow, you sure can pick ‘em,” Lynda said, diving into the party and mingling. One of the desks was covered in bagged snacks- cheese puffs, Halloween candy, and salsa and chips. Bottles of soda and a punch bowl sat on the other desk, along with cups, plates, and napkins. Lynda reappeared shortly after she left with two single-serving bottles of whiskey and two vodka strawberry Jell-O shots. Lynda handed one of each to Misha as she opened her own whiskey.

“Happy Halloween,” she said, opening and downing the drink in one swift motion. Misha nodded and sipped hers. It burned its way down her throat, searing it as it descended. Misha started coughing and gagging, while Lynda giggled as she downed the other shot to stop the burning.

“Does my pain amuse~ you?” Misha choked out.

Lynda leaned in and whispered into Misha’s ear, “I like watching your throat when you drink, is all.”

Lynda’s breath so close to her- not to mention what she said- made Misha shiver. Noticing the shiver, Lynda leaned back and raised an eyebrow.

“You okay?” she asked, looking concerned.

Misha nodded, “you just…the whisper~…”

Lynda smiled and leaned in again, “ah, I see. I was worried it was the booze.”

Misha shivered again, goosebumps rising on her skin. Giggling, Lynda wandered away for a while, leaving Misha to wonder what she was up to. Some sort of mind game? She really was like Shizune, except in two major ways.

To Misha’s surprise, Lynda didn’t drink anything more, and neither did Misha, instead eating and talking, and dancing as well, once someone had turned on a radio. Misha didn’t dance much, instead opting to watch Lynda sway and move with the music. When a slow dance came, Lynda immediately dragged Misha in with her, and the two moved around as Lynda led them.

“Having fun?” Lynda asked, whispering in Misha’s ear again.

“Yes… please stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” she asked as she did it again.

“In my ear… you’re making me feel… and you’re my friend~.”

“I could be more than that, you know,” she said, not whispering in her ear, but keeping her voice low as she said it. Misha considered the words as they swayed with the song, Misha becoming increasingly aware of the proximity and joining heat of their bodies. By the time the song ended, Misha felt warm and flushed. Seeing this, Lynda asked if she’d like to leave, since it was late and she looked tired.

Seeing it was eleven, Misha nodded; she was getting better at staying up, but it was still hard, and as the two went downstairs exhaustion started to set in. On the way towards the dorm building’s front door Lynda stopped, “sorry, Misha, can I use your bathroom? Too much punch.”

Misha nodded and led Lynda back to her room. Carla wasn’t back yet, and Misha doubted she would be; when she partied, she usually stayed the night to avoid waking Misha. Misha sat on her bed and thought about Lynda at the party; was she trying to seduce her? Thinking about her whispering, the feeling of the breath rushing past her ear, and the closeness of their bodies as they had danced, made Misha warm in ways that had nothing to do with the dorm room’s temperature.

Lynda came out of the bathroom and looked around briefly for Misha. Seeing her on the bed she raised an eyebrow, “you look comfy,” she said.

Misha nodded, “would you like to join me?”

Lynda shrugged and sat next to Misha. The two stared at each other, neither one speaking, just looking into the other’s eyes.

“Misha,” Lynda said after a while.

“Yes?”

“If you want to kiss me, you can. I won’t slap you, or judge you, or disown you, or reject-” Lynda’s speech was cut off as Misha leaned in and kissed her, their lips meeting for the first time. Misha had never kissed a girl on the mouth before, and she found she liked it. A lot. It was soft, and gentle, but oddly firm, too. For a while they stayed like that, their arms limp by there sides, and it was only the need to breathe that separated them.

“How was that?” Misha asked; it was all she could think to say.

“Good,” Lynda said, shaking her head a little to clear her thoughts. Neither of them moved, but eventually Lynda coughed, “I should go.”

She made to move but Misha grabbed her arm, “stay. Please?”

Lynda looked into Misha’s deep, golden eyes for a few moments, evaluating the look within them before nodding. Slowly, she got on her knees across from Misha on the bed.

“Are you sure about this? Henry’ll kill me if he thinks I’m taking advantage of you.”

“I’m sure,” Misha said, and she was. Realizing what their dinners had meant to Lynda, the feeling when she whispered in her ear, and the rush from their bodies closeness while they danced collided within her. She wasn’t sure what it was; love, lust, desire, or simply curiosity. She was sure that Lynda wouldn’t hold it against her, and that was what mattered.

+++

Next Chapter

I don’t write erotica, sorry, so you’re stuck with fades to black. The reason I don’t write it is it’s a genre I’m not good at, nothing moral or ethical about it.

There should be a rule about straight men writing lesbian romances…

Re: The United States of Misha Updated 5/27

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 9:59 am
by Mirage_GSM
No problem for me. I have the same policy.

Close to the end you have a few dinners that could do without an ' .
And somewhere in the middle there's some confusion between their and they're or something similar, but I can't find the place again...

Re: The United States of Misha Updated 5/27

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:20 am
by Hoitash
Mirage_GSM wrote:No problem for me. I have the same policy.

Close to the end you have a few dinners that could do without an ' .
And somewhere in the middle there's some confusion between their and they're or something similar, but I can't find the place again...
Thanks, I'll give it a look-over when I'm back from mowing the lawn :)

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:46 am
by griffon8
Hoitash wrote:I don’t write erotica, sorry, so you’re stuck with fades to black. The reason I don’t write it is it’s a genre I’m not good at, nothing moral or ethical about it.

There should be a rule about straight men writing lesbian romances…
The only way to get good at it is to practice…

As long as the rule isn't against straight men writing lesbian romances. The stuff I reference in my sig is totally that.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 10:56 am
by Hoitash
griffon8 wrote:
Hoitash wrote:I don’t write erotica, sorry, so you’re stuck with fades to black. The reason I don’t write it is it’s a genre I’m not good at, nothing moral or ethical about it.

There should be a rule about straight men writing lesbian romances…
The only way to get good at it is to practice…

As long as the rule isn't against straight men writing lesbian romances. The stuff I reference in my sig is totally that.
Eh, I was thinking along "don't write it if you can't do it well, because then you're just being offensive."

Which applies to all writing, really.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 1:58 pm
by griffon8
Hoitash wrote:Eh, I was thinking along "don't write it if you can't do it well, because then you're just being offensive."

Which applies to all writing, really.
The guy writing the stuff I edit has been asked about stuff he wrote before. He refuses to tell people what it is or where it can be found on the Internet, because he knows it sucks. I have not tried to find it, because I trust his opinion of it.

But he is a better writer now for having written the stuff he can't stand to look at anymore.

In all seriousness, I'm fine with you writing what you're comfortable with. It's your story, tell it the way you want to.

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 2:05 pm
by Hoitash
griffon8 wrote:
Hoitash wrote:Eh, I was thinking along "don't write it if you can't do it well, because then you're just being offensive."

Which applies to all writing, really.
The guy writing the stuff I edit has been asked about stuff he wrote before. He refuses to tell people what it is or where it can be found on the Internet, because he knows it sucks. I have not tried to find it, because I trust his opinion of it.

But he is a better writer now for having written the stuff he can't stand to look at anymore.

In all seriousness, I'm fine with you writing what you're comfortable with. It's your story, tell it the way you want to.
Yeah, I know what he means. I have two novels I wrote that are so bad I don't even want to look at them. The practice helped a ton though.

It's not a genre I see writing extensively in the future, but practice is practice.

Oh and: AAAHHH!!! TV Tropes link! Run for the dial-up!

Re: The United States of Misha 5/24 Update

Posted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:15 pm
by VenomSymbiote
Mirage_GSM wrote:I find it a bit funny that in a fanfic to a VN that contains graphic sex scenes, people find it offensive if someone who is about 20 years old is drinking a beer...
Especially since here in Germany the legal drinking age for beer is 16 years. I'm not sure about the state of New York. Is the legal age there older than 20?
I am not lost on the irony :P

Anyhow, is Lynda supposed to be this straightforward? I just find her to be a bit... off. Is that normal? Also, don't be worried if you can't write sex scenes. Keep practicing, and sooner or later you'll be proficient to. For now, "fades to black" are fine. It certainly didn't bother me.