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- MoonShadow
- Posts: 79
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2012 8:28 pm
- Location: In my pants, most of the time.
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
My mind is too blank at this point to have anything to say. You killed my emotions man; not cool.
Maybe there's ONE emotion left, since I can feel another night without sleep coming.
Pyrokinesis1019, if you want to read the original, I gave a link earlier, somewhere between chapter 1 and 2. The story is not long, maybe about as long as those 3 chapters here combined.
Maybe there's ONE emotion left, since I can feel another night without sleep coming.
Pyrokinesis1019, if you want to read the original, I gave a link earlier, somewhere between chapter 1 and 2. The story is not long, maybe about as long as those 3 chapters here combined.
"If there can be no victory, then I will fight forever."
-Koth of the Hammer
"If you're not having fun, what's the point of living forever?"
-An unknown vampire
You can spot a werewolf-infested town by its lack of butcher shops.
Don't underestimate the aerodynamic qualities of the common goblin.
-Koth of the Hammer
"If you're not having fun, what's the point of living forever?"
-An unknown vampire
You can spot a werewolf-infested town by its lack of butcher shops.
Don't underestimate the aerodynamic qualities of the common goblin.
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
I've been listening, somewhat inappropriately, to This Will Destroy You while writing this one. Calming instrumental music doesn't really fit With Apologies very well, but it helps me relax and focus my core while I'm writing. I suppose you could say that I'm Doomish at his Doomiest while writing and listening to instrumentals, if you were willing to reach that far to make that reference.Pyrokinesis1019 wrote:Once again, very well written. I suppose I should read the original at some point, since I read the TF2 version you linked to, and am following this one.
Also, I've been reading most of my KS fanfics with music from the game playing in the background, but since this story is a bit... different than most others, I had to scrounge for something else. Turns out that Friendly Faith Plate, 15 Acres of Broken Glass, and I Saw A Deer Today, from the Portal 2 OST fit pretty well with this story.
Keep up the nice work!
But, story-wise, the awesome, almost schizophrenic time and rhythm of La Dispute, specifically their earlier albums make good backing music to a lot of my stories; especially my other one, Cutter, where they're a pretty recurring theme in fact... Provided, of course, you don't get lost in the lyrics and forget what you're doing like I end up doing a lot of the time.
- Sperance
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:33 am
- Location: Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Another soul-crushing chapter, that SOMEHOW ended in a somewhat uplifting note. But I have to ask. Has Rin really been there alone for a decade? Or the computer just messed with their sense of time? So many questions, so little answers..
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6217
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Tbh, I found this chapter to be a little confusing.
Misha is somehow angry at Hanako...
Lilly is killing Misha, yet afterwards she is in the other room with Hanako while Misha is with Hisao...
Who is where when???
And what I don't understand most of all: Why is the voice able to return people from death if they kill themselves or are killed by traps but not if they are killed by others?
Misha is somehow angry at Hanako...
Lilly is killing Misha, yet afterwards she is in the other room with Hanako while Misha is with Hisao...
Who is where when???
And what I don't understand most of all: Why is the voice able to return people from death if they kill themselves or are killed by traps but not if they are killed by others?
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
![](http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/imgsrv/fah/u_stats.php?un=Mirage_GSM)
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
- Sperance
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:33 am
- Location: Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
I dunno about that but in the original IHNMAIMS short story I always assumed AM didn't ressurrect as much as he healed them just before they died, but was surprised when they killed each other ence it was unable to react and heal them before they died (they stabbed each other in the head, after all). Or maybe their "suicides" where only mental. Maybe.Mirage_GSM wrote:And what I don't understand most of all: Why is the voice able to return people from death if they kill themselves or are killed by traps but not if they are killed by others?
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Apologies for not logging in but I'd rather not have the computer I'm on save my password by doing so. But, in order of your asking:Mirage_GSM wrote:Tbh, I found this chapter to be a little confusing.
Misha is somehow angry at Hanako...
Lilly is killing Misha, yet afterwards she is in the other room with Hanako while Misha is with Hisao...
Who is where when???
And what I don't understand most of all: Why is the voice able to return people from death if they kill themselves or are killed by traps but not if they are killed by others?
Hanako's mad raving made Misha think she was laughing at Shizune's misstep. Sorry for not making that clear enough.
I was trying to make it appear that the concrete slab that burst from the wall hit Misha in the face and shoved her off of Lilly, making her stumble backwards into the hallway. Maybe I need to do some editing there too.
I'm not really sure who is where when, to be honest.
They found a loophole. Perhaps it will be explained later on! The problem with giving exposition outside of the story is that it doesn't really work, and if someone asks me a question like "why does X work if Y happens" when it's a vital plot point from the start, I can't really give it away, all I can say is that you'll have to wait and see why. Sorry.
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Ah. I see where I went wrong now. The door closes before Misha reacts, hence she would be trapped in the room as well. I suppose I accidentally flipped the two events around. I'll change that now, sorry.
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Forget it.
Last edited by Doomish on Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:17 am, edited 2 times in total.
- Sperance
- Posts: 101
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2011 7:33 am
- Location: Off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Well, that was devastating and just killed very ounce of hope the previous chapter implied. Good job, you evil person.
I think you may have made a mistake
Go, it saddens me that Hisao seems to be the only one with any desire to get out. Just what the hell does Rin know that has crushed her hope even after ages of being left alone by the voice and the finding Hisao again?
I think you may have made a mistake
does Rin really have ten fingers in each hand or was it a mistake? If she indeed has 10 fingers in each hand, I thought Hisao would comment on it. But maybe not, given he probably didn't care much.supple hands with ten flexible digits on the end of each one
Go, it saddens me that Hisao seems to be the only one with any desire to get out. Just what the hell does Rin know that has crushed her hope even after ages of being left alone by the voice and the finding Hisao again?
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Mistake corrected. I didn't mean Rin had ten fingers on each hand, no. Sorry about that!
- Robnonymous
- Posts: 162
- Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2012 7:56 pm
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
In all honesty, with everything else that's happened you could've totally gotten away with leaving it.Doomish wrote:Mistake corrected. I didn't mean Rin had ten fingers on each hand, no. Sorry about that!
![Wink :wink:](./images/smilies/icon_wink.gif)
Bad Dreams (Hanako) - My first KS fanfic. it's actually a happy story
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.
Reconciliation - (a Hanako bad-end story) - My second KS fanfic. Not all that happy.
- myshoesarebrown
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:49 pm
- Location: Oklahoma
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
The whole time they were in the school, I was imagining it looking like the school from Silent Hill 1.
Oh god the voice better not somehow be Nomiya. Damnit, now I've got this vision in my head. Nomiya standing in the center of a glowing blue machine, naked, electricity all over, and little tentacles shooting out of him. All while he has his pervert face on. Then Hisao walks up to him. He looks down and says "Philistines!"Doomish wrote:She was always fine until the moment it spoke. Perhaps it sounds like someone she knows, or rather, used to know. Perhaps it reminds her of a painting or a memory.
My bets are on Kenji. Or some of Kenji's tools, or anything related to Kenji.Doomish wrote:I'll need some help, from someone I've already lost any chance of getting help from in the first place.
My shoes aren't actually brown. Well, one pair is, but I mostly wear grey ones.
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Forget it.
Last edited by Doomish on Sat Aug 10, 2013 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.
- myshoesarebrown
- Posts: 76
- Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:49 pm
- Location: Oklahoma
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Just the fact that Kenji's weapons(we all knew he had some) made this great.
Even if it's supposed to be easy to figure it out, I'm an idiot and can never figure things out, so I have no clue what the voice could be. I don't think it's Kenji. I hope it's not Nomiya. God I hope it's not Nomiya. If it's Nomiya I will stop reading right there, spam porn to get my account banned, magnetize my hard drive, and go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. I'll do it.
At this point I'm just looking at characters that haven't been in the story. Mutou? Because it was an experiment.
Either that or Iwanako. That could make poetic sense.
Even if it's supposed to be easy to figure it out, I'm an idiot and can never figure things out, so I have no clue what the voice could be. I don't think it's Kenji. I hope it's not Nomiya. God I hope it's not Nomiya. If it's Nomiya I will stop reading right there, spam porn to get my account banned, magnetize my hard drive, and go on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. I'll do it.
At this point I'm just looking at characters that haven't been in the story. Mutou? Because it was an experiment.
Either that or Iwanako. That could make poetic sense.
My shoes aren't actually brown. Well, one pair is, but I mostly wear grey ones.
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6217
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: With Apologies To Harlan Ellison [Spoilers, Gore Discret
Hmm... I wonder what it was about to say..."THERE IS... ANOTHER."
I'm fairly certain it wasn't "Skywalker."
![Cool 8)](./images/smilies/icon_cool.gif)
Oh, and by the way, that experiment setting somehow reminded me of "The Cube."
(If you haven't seen it, don't. All things considered it's a crappy movie.)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
![](http://shimmie.katawa-shoujo.com/imgsrv/fah/u_stats.php?un=Mirage_GSM)
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.