Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

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brythain
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Re: Fitting In (Working Title)

Post by brythain »

Excellent work, Munch! You've found your creative niche at last!
This is material that's very 'true' stylistically and content-wise.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
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Re: Fitting In (Working Title)

Post by Craftyatom »

It looks good, I'm glad to see more!

And christ, that girl was a right arse. I hope we run into her again. Revenge?

... but that's more wishful thinking than anything.
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Re: Fitting In (Working Title)

Post by FelOnyx »

Craftyatom wrote:It looks good, I'm glad to see more!

And christ, that girl was a right arse. I hope we run into her again. Revenge?

... but that's more wishful thinking than anything.
Yeah, I'd also like us to run into her again. With a truck. :twisted:

No, me. Stop. Murder is bad, even if she is an ass, you should know this.

OK, sanity and ethics restored. Very good chapter. Miss "Let's crush someone's ankles" is definitely someone I could see as really existing. Disabled teenagers are indeed still teenagers it seems, with all the crap that comes with that.
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Re: Postictal Guardian (A NxN fic) [Chapter 2 up!][10/11/14]

Post by Munchenhausen »

Chapter three's been on my to-do list for a while. The last parts are going through a final polishing, but I really want to get this out. The remaining bits and bobs will be churned out within the next few days!

-------
Chapter 3a.
-------


"Are you alright, Nat?" Naomi looks at me with an inquisitive, if not slightly concerned, pout. "You're limping a bit..."

"Of course, I'm fine. I can keep going for a while yet!" I wave off her concerns with a smile, ignoring the throbbing in my heels from yesterday.

Naomi grins and bounces on her feet a little, apparently not thinking twice about my hobble. That's good, I don’t want to cause any inconvenience. I haven't told her about what happened last night and, to be honest, I don't really plan on it; it was just a one-off, surely! Maybe that wheelchair girl was having a crap day too and I was just her final straw? She definitely could have dealt with it in a more civilised way, but I guess it's in the past now. Either way, I really doubt it's anything to make a fuss of.

I think that's another reason I haven't told her, I just know Naomi would kick up a storm. We both look out for one another, but Naomi has always been more on the protective side. It definitely seems she takes care of the important people in her life. The people she loves.

Ugh, suddenly my stomach feels as though it's in a knot. I must be hungrier than I thought! It's a good thing we're already on our way down to the-

"Shanghai!" Naomi makes me jump with her announcement. Oh, we've finally arrived! She skips ahead and gets the door for me. "What'cha having?"

"Ooohh, I don't know." I scuttle through the door and give her a nod in thanks, to which she reciprocates. "What are you getting?"

"Cake." She says just a single word and couples it with a smile that occupies her entire face. Fair enough, I guess, I might as well join her with it. I send her away to find somewhere to sit while I go and see if I can find a menu. We come here every so often, so we don't know exactly what’s offered, but we do know there's cake.

I hobble toward the main desk to see if there are any menus there. Strange, the main desk is completely bare! Come to think of it, there's nobody here to serve, nor are there any other customers. Is it closed? I'd hate to think that security is so lax that we've just blatantly walked right into a closed restaurant...

Out of nowhere, Yuuko comes barrelling through the door, apologising at the top of her lungs for being late and vaulting the desk with an unexpected elegance. She turns around to face me and greets me with a half-shout and a violent bow. Her hair is as dishevelled as my own and we both stare at one another, waiting for each other to start.

"G-Good afternoon, Yuuko," I stutter in shock. I can honestly say she really gave me a real scare. She's surprisingly fast... "I... I'll just let you get settled!"

The highly-strung waitress visibly relaxes and thanks me, turning to enter the back rooms. Goodness knows how she manages to keep up this job alongside the librarian work she does at Yamaku... Turning, I decide to go and find where Naomi's sat us.

I find her in the corner cubicle, playing on her phone. She greets me as I sit across from her, and she puts her phone down and takes my hand between her own two. She looks solemn, genuinely anxious. It's an unusually serious expression for her.

"Do we have cake?"

“Is that what the face is about?” I burst out laughing and she grins. I retrieve my hand to give her the bad news. "Yuuko has only just arrived, so I left her to settle down."

"Awwwh..." Naomi slumps to the table and moans. I have to admit, her immaturity can be quite endearing.

We sit and talk about next week's issue of the Journal for a few minutes, before Yuuko finally frees herself from what I assume is a reprimanding from her boss and takes our order. Two pieces of the double chocolate gateau and a pot of Lady Grey tea. The ruffled waitress takes her leave, allowing me and Naomi to continue our planning.

Another few minutes pass before Yuuko shows herself again and drops off our slice of cake, two cups and a small pot of tea.
Wait a second...

"Hold on, I thought you ordered two cakes?" Naomi inspects the single slice and prods it with her fork.

"I did...” It seems that rather than two separate slices of cake, Yuuko has inadvertently given us one large slice. Not a problem, though.
“It's a pretty big slice, but we could easily cut it into two," I suggest. Naomi looks less than satisfied with my answer.

“We don't have anything to cut it with, though," She fiddles with the two forks that were provided, probably hoping for one to magically transform into a knife.

"You know, we could just go and ask for one?"

"...You do it." Naomi sullenly looks down with a light blush. I shoot an amused glance at my friend. She's making me, the one who finds it hard to climb a staircase, get it? She puts her hands up and goes on the defensive. "I don't want to hassle her, you saw how busy she is!"

"Well we both want cake, here," My stomach begins grumbling at the distinct lack of cake inside it. “I'm not letting you have it all again.”

After a few minute's pondering, Naomi's face slowly lights up with a bright idea. “...Why don't we just eat the cake as it is?”

That's obviously a stupid idea, because...
Well... I...
I guess it makes sense.

“We were just going to cut it in half anyway, might as well cut out the middle man!" Obviously very pleased with herself, she gracefully slams a large chunk of chocolate sponge into her mouth, getting crumbs over the table in doing so. She picks up on my hesitance and slowly slides the dish towards herself.
"Well, if you don't want any~"

Screw that. I know for a fact that she'd happily eat the whole thing, and I'm still quite hungry. I yank the plate into the middle of the table again, take my fork and dig in. I've got to assert my dominance, or something like that, so I maintain eye contact as I do so. Naomi grins and silently takes me up on my wordless challenge. The establishment is completely quiet, save for the sound of cake being devoured and forks catching the plate. The two proud newspaper journalists each staring the other down and stuffing cake into their mouths at alarming speeds. What a strange sight it must be, but it must be done. There's no way I'm letting her eat the majority of the cake again.

------

Minutes pass and finally the cake is no more. What was once a very large slice of chocolate gateau is now an empty plate with nothing but a few smears of icing and crumbs. Sad to say, I think Naomi actually did eat more than I did. I'll have to get her back for this.

"You've got cake everywhere." I reach up and rub some of the chocolate frosting from her face, "I don't even know how you got it on your forehead..."

"Hey, I could have done that myself!" Naomi laughs and feels the spot that once held a sizeable chunk of cake. "God, you're worse than my mother, y'know~"

"Well maybe I mother you, but it's hard not to when you act like you're twelve!” Naomi laughs and I reach for the pot of tea, pouring a cup for either of us. "Well, at least I don't act like your big brother~"

My friend takes a cup from me and chuckles.
Wait for it...
Finally, her face drops and she spits the tea back into her cup. Lovely. "Wait..! What did you mean by that?! I don't act like your brother!"

"You do! Like a big, smelly, doofus of a brother!" I love teasing her, even if I know she's going to get me back later. I'd like to consider this revenge for the cake. Naomi's face goes red and she puts the tea down, ready to defend her case.

"I grew up with three brothers! You can't blame me for that!"

"And were you the most masculine?"

"Shut up!"

Thinking about it, I guess we're not too far off the truth here. We both look out for each other, but in different ways... She acts brotherly and I guess I kinda do mother her. I'd help Naomi with things like schoolwork and advice, whereas she gives me more hands-on help with stuff like heavier doors and thick crowds. I've never really thought about it too much... I guess opposites do attract?

"You might as well get used to it, you're stuck with me" She sips her tea with a wink.

"Well, until the end of the year, at least."

Naomi looks at me with a vacant smile. "...W-What?"

"You know, the end of the year?" She keeps her smile, although as the seconds go on it seems more and more forced. "When we both go home? You go south, I go west..."

Naomi doesn't respond, she just continues drinking her tea. Thinking about it, I probably shouldn't have said that. Ah well, there's no use avoiding the inevitable.

"Gee, aren't you upbeat today."
Her dead tone stings a little. Considering how optimistic she usually is, it definitely seems I've pushed the wrong button.

"Well it's going to happen, isn't it?"

"Well yeah, but can't we deal with that problem when it arises?" Here she goes again, she's always procrastinating! Naomi drinks the last of her tea and stands, getting herself ready to go. "C'mon, I'm finshed."

"Naomi, sit down. There's no point avoiding it.” It's September, we've practically only just started our second term! We can't leave this topic 'til last minute!

"Naaaaat..." she whines, tugging my at my sleeve.

"Naomi. Sit."

She looks at me. It's obvious she really doesn't want to talk about it and instead of sitting, she turns to the door.

"I'd I hate to say it, but time's wasting. You coming or shall I meet you back there?" Naomi stands beside me at the table, waiting for me to reply. However, I say nothing and wait for her to sit down again. She can be so stubborn! Finally, and with a sigh, she... She starts walking to the door.

She's leaving without me?

"Naomi!" I call after her, but she doesn't falter. After the door closes behind her, I watch her make her way down the street until she turns onto another road and disappears out of view. With nothing else to distract me, I drink my share of the tea and think about this last conversation. I've really done it now. I feel terrible, I think I've really pushed her too far this time.

Naomi has a real disdain for goodbyes. The end of the school year is pretty hard on her, even when she knew she was going to come back... But this time she won’t. Neither of us will.

This is our last year at Yamaku and truth be told, I'm not looking forward to it ending either. I've made a lot of friends here and we all stand with each other for support, considering most of us students (and even a few teachers) are disabled in some way or form. It's a big motivational boost, something you wont get out there in reality.

And moving away from Naomi? This isn't like the usual “see you in a month” separation, there's a real chance I wont ever see her again. I can call her, email her, text her, even send letters through the post, but it just wont be the same. Well, unfortunately it isn't something that can be postponed. We all have to move on eventually. Times change.

I guess I was just hoping I could try and reach her today. Whenever this topic comes up, she hides away and ignores it, as if she believes it will just go away. When I talk about it she changes the topic, when other people chat about it she lets herself daydream, when Mutou was talking about it she hides away in her textbook and doodles... She's so childish! I get up and pay Yuuko before leaving the restaurant myself.

My walk back to the school gives me time to think. I know I've got to get this message through to her, she can't keep hiding from the truth all of her life... But how do I do that?

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Last edited by Munchenhausen on Sun Jan 18, 2015 12:44 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
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Re: Postictal Guardian (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3a up!][12/1/15]

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Took me a while to remember which story this was due to the name change, but once I did I got excited. Really enjoying this story so far. As for the chapter itself, I liked it. I liked how whenever she starts to think romantically about Naomi, she pushes the thoughts away and comes up with another reason for them. I also really like their respective ways of showing how they care about each other, and their different views of their upcoming graduation seems fitting for their personalities, though I still see all of my friends from high school on occasion, some of them regularly. That may not be the norm though.
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Re: Postictal Guardian (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3a up!][12/1/15]

Post by Mirage_GSM »

"Naomi, sit down. There's no point avoiding it.” It's only September, we've practically only just started our second term! We can't leave this topic 'til last minute!
Why "only" if she wants to stress the urgency?

Nice chapter, though the name change threw me off as well... Also because I'd never heard that word before.
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Re: Postictal Guardian (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3a up!][12/1/15]

Post by Munchenhausen »

AntonSlavik020 wrote:I liked how whenever she starts to think romantically about Naomi, she pushes the thoughts away and comes up with another reason for them.
I'm glad you picked up on that, I was worried it was too subtle :P
Mirage_GSM wrote: Why "only" if she wants to stress the urgency?
It sounded alright to me, but that being said I'm not exactly from the most grammatically eloquent of regions of the UK :lol: thanks, I'll fix that.

Do you guys think I should go back to the previous title then? I only really chose 'Fitting In' as a quick jab at the fact Naomi is epileptic :P
Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
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Re: Postictal Guardian (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3a up!][12/1/15]

Post by brythain »

Munchenhausen wrote:It sounded alright to me, but that being said I'm not exactly from the most grammatically eloquent of regions of the UK :lol: thanks, I'll fix that.

Do you guys think I should go back to the previous title then? I only really chose 'Fitting In' as a quick jab at the fact Naomi is epileptic :P
Heh, most regions of the UK are not grammatically eloquent; some of them are much more eloquent when not Thames-Estuary-grammatical. That said, the last comment of yours reminded me of a Bruce Lee epileptic spoof: 'Fits of Fury'. Not that we should make light of such things, of course.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3a up!][12/1/15]

Post by Munchenhausen »

-------
Chapter 3b.
-------


I get to our dorms pretty uneventfully. I'm forced to cross paths with wheelchair bitch again, but nothing much happened other than her sneering at me as I passed. I can handle that easily. I finally make my way to our corridor and stand in front of Naomi's door. I go to knock, but opt to put my ear to it first. Privacy is important, you see.

I hear nothing. She's a noisy one, so this isn't what I expected... This really isn't what I expected. She's never completely silent, come to think of it. Only after she's had a...

No. I push those thoughts out of my head, those unnecessary thoughts. There's no way she'd have another seizure, surely? I'd better knock anyway, just to be sure. No answer.

Well, I guess... there's nothing really stopping her from having another...

Stop! I knock again, a bit louder, and call her name. There's a slight hint of desperation in my voice. Any second, I'll be hearing her roll out of bed.

Any second, now.

I knock hard. Why won’t she answer?
She's probably just nipped down to the canteen, come to think of it! ...but we've literally just eaten. Mental images of her lying unconscious flick into my mind and I force them away again, but that doesn't stop me from acknowledging them.

I'm seconds from panicking, when I hear a muffled response from inside.
"Natsume?"

Relief floods my body and I suddenly remember how to breathe. As silly as I feel working myself up like that, I'm thankful she doesn't know I did.

"Yeah, it's me. Mind if I come in?" Naomi replies, but it's not loud enough to be heard through the door. I ask her to repeat it.

"Yeah, sure."
That sounded nothing like what she had just said previously, nor did it sound at all happy... She's obviously still a bit ticked off from earlier.

I open the door to find her curled up in the middle of her bed and clutching her duvet like a makeshift teddy bear, hiding her face under it. I close the door behind me and take a seat on her pillow. The sun beginning to set provides a golden glow to her room, although not too dim to see yet. After a few seconds of silence, I speak.

"You okay?"
Naomi quietly croaks something from her duvet, but I can't understand her mumbled voice.
"What?"

"I..." She pulls her head up and lays it on top of her pink blanketing. Now it's obvious her eyes are weary and red, and her voice is hitching. She's been crying, if not about to. "I don't wanna go."

"We don't have a choice, Naomi," I stroke her hair in an attempt to calm her. "We can't stay here forever, you know that."

"Yeah, but..." She shuffles up and lays her head on my lap, facing away from me. "B-But I like it here. We’re safe, and it's familiar, and it's easy, and... and you're here."

Her shoulders buckle and I can hear her quietly biting back tears. Her face is out of sight, but I'm glad; I don't think I could bear to see her like this. The atmosphere alone is heavy, and the topic is... it's not something I've honestly thought too much about. Naomi lets a single sob slip out and my heart jumps into my throat.

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm always going to be there for you and we both know that! I'm just a phone call away," Even with tears appearing in my own eyes, I want to stop her's. I want her to be happy, I want her to enjoy life. She is rarely anything less than content, and to have her crying on my lap is something I could never ask for.

"It's n-not the same," She sits up enough to wrap her arms around my hips and bury her face into my shirt. Barely audible, she whispers into my waist. "Please don't forget me..."

With that, she can't hold back any more. Naomi lets her emotions flow, quietly sobbing into my waist. I try to keep strong, but I find it hard to ignore the sadness in her tears. The cry isn't the same as any other I've heard, it's not the same cry that a child has when they graze their knee, or the cry that you hold back when you finish a romance novel. Her lament is one of fear, worry and genuine anguish.

She pulls me tight and I hold her tighter. I let myself fall back onto her bed and she moves closer. We lie on the bed for a while, hugging and promising each other to stay in contact, to stay as close as we are, to visit whenever we can. I promise to come and help her with her university studies and she promises to brush my hair for me. I vow to call her regularly and she says she will send me hand-written letters. She promises to always be there for me. I promise to never forget her.

There's no way I could ever forget you, Naomi. Not for a second.

---

She sniffles and wipes away a tear or two, and I lay there and stroke her hair. Looking down to her lazily resting her head on my shoulder, I can’t help but smile. There's not a damn thing I wouldn't do for this girl. She looks up to me and catches my eye, which changes her smile to her trademark grin.

"Thank you, Naomi." She patiently watches as I try to pick the right words. "Thanks for being you."

Her grin grows and she laughs, turning her head to hide her blush.
She then stretches herself up and gives me a quick kiss.

Wait, she what?

Naomi's eyes shoot open and her smile vanishes. She yanks herself away from me as though I were explosive, and begins stuttering and half-starting sentences. I barely have time to realise what just happened before she begins apologising and covering her mouth, frantically trying to explain herself. Smile fading, my hand winds itself to my own mouth in disbelief.

She kissed me?

She kissed me.

Just a quick peck, but a kiss nonetheless. She kissed me on the lips. She kissed me and, for the first time, I'm speechless. I don't even know what to think, apart from the fact that... That she kissed me. Did she mean to? I...

"I-I-I-I'm j-just g... I-I'm... S-s-s-sorry, I..." Naomi becomes incomprehensible. She pleads and gestures in an attempt to explain herself, but soon mumbles to a stop and watches me, eyes brimming with tears again. She takes few deep breaths and looks to one side. The atmosphere in this room is dangerously tense.

I need to get out of here, I'm starting to panic and Naomi's not helping.
What do I say to her? How do I say it? I've never had any problem with this kind of thing, but now it's happened to me, I'm at a loss. I... She kissed me. What do I do? How can I leave? Without thinking, I stand and take my crutch from the wall. I can't look at her, but I can feel her watching my every move. She obviously didn't mean to, but she says nothing. I don't want to make things worse, but I need to get out of here.

I take my wordless leave and close the door behind me. She kissed me. My legs refuse to make the short distance toward my own room and I simply stand in the corridor, depserately trying to regain my own thoughts.

She kissed me. I had no idea she... How long has she felt that way? Does she even feel that way, or was it just a mental lapse? I have so many questions, but they need to wait. It's far too touchy now.

It's only when more muffled sobbing comes from behind her door, that I finally make the move to my dormroom. Did I do that to her? Oh God, I've broken her. I... I need some sleep. Yeah.

I clamber into my bed and pull the covers up to my face. What happened keeps replaying over and over in my head. It kinda felt like the next thing to do, after spilling our hearts out to eachother... but... But, I don't know. This is all too much right now.

I can't believe it.
She kissed me.

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Like stupid, silly doodles with no point? You've come to the right place, friend :^)
I also occasionally write oneshots. Why not have a skimread?
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Great chapter as always. That may have been the worst response Natsume could have had to the kiss. Then again, it was a pretty poorly timed kiss on Naomi's part too, what with them being so emotional at the time. I'm sure Natsume will try to talk things out with Naomi the next day, after she's thought things through.
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by Mirage_GSM »

She sniffles and wipes away a tear or two, and I lay there and stroke her hair.
"lie"

Well… A bit heavy on the drama, aren't you? And I was going to say that even after the first part. Isn't this supposed to be half a year before graduation? Reding this scene I felt like it was two days off…

As for the second part - Yes, a bit of an awkward reaction, but not really unexpected given the situation.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by Munchenhausen »

Mirage_GSM wrote:Isn't this supposed to be half a year before graduation? Reading this scene I felt like it was two days off…
Thinking about it, I seem to have made Naomi a bit of an overreactor :lol: Bugger it, I'll just leave it as the Drama dial has been turned up to 11.
And thanks for the grammar point, too. I have now researched the difference between laying down and lying down :P
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by HoneyBakedHam »

Oh boy...it's getting heated already.
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Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by Craftyatom »

On one hand, I never really understand why so many of these fics seemed to use this exact device - for example, M&M (although it's kinda unclear which parts are dreamed and which are real) uses the same kind of moment - everyone's having a nice, sad little time, then *whoops*!

On the other hand, I always love your stuff, and this is no exception - it's well-written, I'm just not a huge fan of one particular (and very important!) plot point.

Oh, and personally, never underestimate drama. There can always be more drama, and yeah, it's kinda heavy, but it's nowhere near the limit. Hooray for high school :P
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Path of Least Resistance, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection
Solistor
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:06 pm
Location: Somewhere between order and chaos.

Re: Fitting In (A NxN fic) [Chapter 3 complete!][18/1/15]

Post by Solistor »

This is my official "I'm following this fic" post. I like it. Nuff said. :P
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