After the Fall [Undergoing Major Rework]

WORDS WORDS WORDS


CloudGrain
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:40 pm

After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Update Two]

Post by CloudGrain »

Last week it hardly took me long to realize that the cafeteria's food was mediocre at best, and that the best way to deal with it was to eat it quickly and be done with it.

Today, I think that I learned that knowing you've got people shifting uncomfortably to watch you, considering approaching you but always seeming to shirk away from it makes you wolf down that same food like a starved dog, just so that you can escape being a center of attention. Even choosing what I thought was a relatively empty area of the cafeteria, eyes followed me from three or four tables away as I simply ate. Judging me, apparently seeing me in the same light as some actor on television. There's hardly a doubt in my mind that the stomach ache was worth going in, eating, and getting out of the cafeteria within just ten minutes. Escaping from the pressure-cooker of a situation before it became too much to bear.

Exhaling, I realize just how quickly I'm walking through the blessedly empty hallways. Straightening myself, I'm suddenly aware that I feel like I've got the faintest perspiration all over, sweating from a combination of the situation I escaped and the pace I'd unknowingly set for myself. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding, allowing myself to rest on the wall for a moment as I place a hand over my chest, disconcerted by my lack of fitness and the possible impact on my heart.

A few deep breaths as I close my eyes to focus on the sound and feel of my heartbeat... I nod at the relative 'normalness' of the rhythm after a short span. I'm not overdoing it, just terribly out of shape.

When I open my eyes, I'm almost surprised to see Rin Tezuka halfway down the hallway, wandering without intent with that awkward gait of hers and seemingly looking past me. She suddenly seems to notice me as I push off from the wall and hope to walk by without much of an incident, putting on what looks like a pensive expression as she actually looks at me rather than through me. "Did you know that they had more than one lock?" She asks with a mildly put-off expression, as though the fact that 'they' had more than one lock was somewhat concerning or annoying; like it was something that made her have to do something. Although come to think of it, random as Rin might be it seemed somewhat odd to find her wandering around.

I can't help but pinch the bridge of my nose with the hand that'd been on my chest just a few seconds ago as I try to follow Rin's logic, or lack thereof. "One lock for what, Rin?"

She looks at me, through me with an expression of non-comprehension. "The roof." My jaw clamps shut like a steel trap as Rin seems to think of something for a moment. She's one of the last people who I would expect to be 'in' on all of the gossip of the school. But at the same time, the idea that she hasn't heard at all, or doesn't care about my reaction to what she's saying is somewhat incomprehensible given the circumstances of the school. She'd have to be deaf as Shizune, and without the aid of an interpreter to not have overheard something or the other. That same feeling of dread, of near-physical illness that I'd had on stepping into my classroom today seems to come back in full force. I can suddenly feel myself begin to sweat, ignoring the sudden diatribe Rin starts off on, looking past me all while suddenly acting very confused by locks and doors.

It's my fault that there'd be a new padlock on the door to the roof. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if all roof access was cut off for years because of how Sunday almost turned out. It'd be a decade before someone would eventually cut off the padlock again and open up that avenue to anyone who wanted to have lunch outside but not out on the grounds.

"...-doors are only there because they need to let you in and out already. They're just holes in walls that can be walls again." She says evenly, turning her attention back actually towards me rather than through me suddenly. Startlingly enough, she actually seems to come in touch with reality for long enough to look vaguely concerned and voice it. "Are you OK, Hisao?"

A sharp breath and a quick nod, followed by a strained false smile is all I can come up with as I think of a way to escape. "I'm fine, I've... Gotta go get some stuff though. Sorry, Rin. Later." I mutter weakly, getting a raised eyebrow and nonchalant shrug from Rin in response as I begin to wander the halls once again.

It's a mindless way to waste the time and avoid meeting anyone else between my finishing lunch and getting back to class... And it works.

Back to class, back to throwing myself into the lesson with an abandon that surprises me. I finish the lesson's work as the teacher is only just getting to the questions, begin to go ahead of the lesson and only focus on the teacher when she's explaining something that I didn't understand in the text. There's some group-work for English, and although Shizune and Misha both look at me pointedly for a few seconds, as if asking for some sort of unconscious approval they look away when I continue to pointedly ignore them.

After all, I've already finished ninety-percent of the work... I can't help but think that besides finishing that little bit of work it'd just be the two of them trying to avoid some landmine or the other and trying to make some sort of meaningless conversation with me. I actually kind of appreciate the fact that they don't impose on me by pushing their desks over regardless, and file that little fact in the back of my mind. Hopefully, in a while I might be able to just... Feel better. Maybe then I can thank them a little more properly.

I'm neither surprised nor pleased when the final bell rings. I'm already well-ahead on all of my work, having finished most of my homework when I was supposed to be doing group-work. In fact, it almost frustrates me that there won't be much for me to focus on tonight in the realm of schoolwork. I'll have to find something else to do... Sitting in my room doesn't seem like an appealing prospect, but neither does the idea of being around people.

The saving-thought comes to mind as I lazily sit back and wait for the rest of the class to file out ahead of me. I'm in no rush as I contemplate what I should do next, and neither is only one of my classmates, Hanako.

The library.

The thought comes to mind thanks to Hanako's own reading habit, she's even got a book out now as she most likely waits for Lilly. The library is quiet, likely to be relatively empty, or at the very least have some quiet spots left in it for me to find and use for a few hours. I can pick up some new reading material, get into it, and not have to leave for at least a few hours. After that, maybe I can go get some dinner, and then go to my room and call it an early night.

I grab my bag from the floor next to me, stand up and make my way across the room, almost making it out the door without incident.

Even closer than almost... I think that I make it through the door without incident. But my ankle catches something right in the doorframe, and I awkwardly stumble over it with my hasty stride. A blink and a flash later, and I'm on my knees, the instinctive arm that shot out to brace me from the fall succeeding in keeping me at least from falling face-first. The voice that comes just as suddenly as the sudden tripping explains the situation even as it inquires.

"I'm sorry, did I run into someone?"

Lilly Satou. She must have had her cane out in front of her, and I tripped right over the tip of it in the doorframe as she was coming to 'pick up' Hanako after class. I wince internally, knowing that unlike Rin, Lilly will just as certainly know about the details of my... Accident on Sunday. But I'd feel just as guilty leaving her without knowing what'd just happened. She'd really made an effort to make me feel welcome last week... Even if I couldn't open up about things on the way back from the store on Friday. Hopefully, I can keep this short.

"Yeah, no problem though. I'm alright." I respond, swallowing past a lump in my throat as Lilly's concerned expression deepens hearing my voice before she does her best to hide it. Unsurprisingly, her best-hidden expression of concern is... Not the most convincing. I get to my feet easily enough, brushing some imagined dirt off my knees.

"Hisao, is that you?"

"Yeah." I say shortly, grimacing as I realize that Hanako is probably able to overhear the conversation back in the classroom as well, hoping to keep this as short as possible.

Lilly's expression of concern becomes even more transparent as she seems to wrestle with something in her mind for a moment, before finally giving in and speaking. "Are you... Doing well?" She asks, the strain in her voice making me cringe slightly. She doesn't want to ask the question, it's discourteous. But at the same time, she might have somehow managed to make herself feel guilty about the whole ordeal. It dawns on me that besides my going to class on Saturday, she'd been the last person I really interacted with before the whole... Ordeal, with Kenji. Sure, I tried to 'hang out' with Hanako in the library after classes were over, but just reading with someone hadn't exactly been an equivalent to interaction.

Just in the brief span I'd known Lilly, I have a sinking feeling that she's going to feel sorry for me. To try and make me feel better. Somehow think that she can take on some part of the whole situation.

"Yeah... I'm... Doing OK." I finally settle on, slowly trying to decide the least concerning words that are truthful enough to keep her at bay. Lilly's expression shows all too well that her concern hasn't exactly gone away, but hopefully her politeness will keep it at bay for at least long enough for me to escape to get through the rest of the evening with my little somewhat hastily made but appealing plan for it intact. She looks like she's wrestling with the idea once again, though this time the other side; the prim, proper, polite one seems to win out as she gives a single slight nod.

"Hanako and I were going to the tearoom, if you'd like to join us?" She asks softly, although her tone and expression betray the fact that it's very much an empty-seeming invitation. There's no real expectation of acceptance. I shake my head, before realizing the futility of it and voicing my answer instead.

"No... Maybe another time. I've got, uh... Homework." I lie, badly, simply hoping against hope that my tone is more convincing than I'm sure the words and expression I'm wearing are.

Surprisingly, another voice joins the conversation. "A-are you... Sure?"

Hanako is in the doorway to the classroom, apparently having readied her things to go with Lilly after the calamity of my falling. A quick glance at Lilly shows that I'm not the only one surprised at her jumping into a conversation, especially one that'd already been awkward before her coming. In the brief few conversations I've had with Hanako, there have been precious few times she's shown much initiative.

Not unlike my conversation with Mutou, the sincerity of it all puts me a little at ease. I take a deep breath... Both Hanako and Lilly had been... Accepting wouldn't even do justice to what they'd been willing to do for me since I've come to Yamaku. It's only been a week, and really I've only known either of them for a few days. But Hanako has let me just a little bit closer than anyone else in our entire class seems to her, and Lilly had been completely open to going even a little bit out of her way to helping me. They might not judge me the same way that I could feel practically everyone else judging me throughout today. They wouldn't broach the topic of why everyone else was judging me, or at least seemed like they wouldn't. Lilly being too polite, Hanako too timid.

Maybe... Just maybe it'd be alright. And if it wasn't, ducking out wouldn't be all too hard. Neither of the two girls would or could exactly stop me if I decided that I would be better off heading to the library or my room. Realizing the awkwardly long silence, Hanako's blushing at her short 'outburst' and Lilly's expression of surprise having faded once again to concern, I finally answer.

"Well... Maybe I don't have that much homework." I half-mumble.

"I could join you for a cup of tea."
Last edited by CloudGrain on Sun Oct 19, 2014 9:49 am, edited 2 times in total.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
AntonSlavik020
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:03 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 16]

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Looks like Hisao is slowly allowing himself to become at least a little closer to the girls. I have to remember that this is the Hisao the closed himself away from everyone. Not sure how long this is going to go, or if he's going to end up dating anyone, though to be honest he probably just needs a friend or two more than anything right now.
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune
User avatar
dewelar
Posts: 1235
Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:09 pm
Location: The Fifth Thing

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 16]

Post by dewelar »

Hmmm...this story is starting to get interesting now.

One thing I want to note, though, is that you shouldn't be capitalizing the word following an ellipsis unless it's meant to be a new sentence.
Rin is orthogonal to everything.
Stuff I've written: Developments, a continuation of Lilly's (bad? neutral?) ending - COMPLETE!
CloudGrain
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:40 pm

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 16]

Post by CloudGrain »

AntonSlavik020 wrote:Looks like Hisao is slowly allowing himself to become at least a little closer to the girls. I have to remember that this is the Hisao the closed himself away from everyone. Not sure how long this is going to go, or if he's going to end up dating anyone, though to be honest he probably just needs a friend or two more than anything right now.
I'm not sure if he's allowing himself to so much 'get closer', as he is realizing that maybe that bout of depression he faced during the Festival might not have been completely grounded in reality. Even if he screwed up with all of the girls in some way, he's still got the whole benefit of the doubt, being the new transfer student. But... I do suppose that he's indeed becoming a little closer because of it, possibly able to open up a bit more knowing that staying closed off isn't terribly successful. Not sure how long I'll keep this going either to be honest. Until it's at a point where I'm happy with it, I suppose. Hopefully will do some work on it tonight and tomorrow while traveling!
dewelar wrote:Hmmm...this story is starting to get interesting now.

One thing I want to note, though, is that you shouldn't be capitalizing the word following an ellipsis unless it's meant to be a new sentence.
Glad to be garnering some interest.

I'll have to remember that new grammatical factoid for later. Grammar has always been a contentious thing for me, understood just well enough to 'get by' without a true comprehension of most of the inner workings. I'll admit that I've always considered ellipsis to denote something of a 'pause beyond a full-stop', in much the same way that a comma is a 'pause below a full stop'. Only now have I come to realize that there are actually three different variations upon ellipsis, two of which I tend to use commonly in my writing. Before I begin to wander off the train of thought I had, thank you for pointing this out, and I'll certainly do my best to amend that interesting bit of grammar/punctuation where I use it in the future.

Learned something new and interesting today. :D
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
bhtooefr
Posts: 1353
Joined: Thu Sep 19, 2013 5:20 pm
Location: Newark, OH
Contact:

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 16]

Post by bhtooefr »

I gotta admit, I'm not at all surprised that Hanako was the one to take initiative and (gently) call Hisao out.

She may not know all the details about Hisao's fall, but she knows enough about it (and the aftermath of it) to have a pretty damn good idea of how he's feeling (having spent the past decade of her life feeling that way)... and, combined with her white knight tendencies (rooted in her desperation to be useful to someone), it was pretty much inevitable that she'd do that.

Also, I personally keep dialogue by the same character on the same line, even if it's broken up by a thought or an action, unless it naturally needs a paragraph break for other reasons. It helps with keeping everything consistent regarding who's talking.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
Posts: 6212
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 16]

Post by Mirage_GSM »

CloudGrain wrote:I'll have to remember that new grammatical factoid for later. Grammar has always been a contentious thing for me, understood just well enough to 'get by' without a true comprehension of most of the inner workings. I'll admit that I've always considered ellipsis to denote something of a 'pause beyond a full-stop', in much the same way that a comma is a 'pause below a full stop'. Only now have I come to realize that there are actually three different variations upon ellipsis, two of which I tend to use commonly in my writing. Before I begin to wander off the train of thought I had, thank you for pointing this out, and I'll certainly do my best to amend that interesting bit of grammar/punctuation where I use it in the future.

Learned something new and interesting today. :D
Here's something else you might want to remember: It's not a factoid. It's a fact. (I guess if you absolutely had to you could call it a "factlet".)
"Factoid" means "similar to a fact" implying it is not true - the same as an android is similar to a human but not a true one and an asteroid is similar to a star but not a true one.

As for the ellipsis... Strictly it is could not be used this way at all. Its purpose is solely to represent omissions in condensed quotations. Using it to represent trailing off in a sentence or thought has been commonplace for a long while now, but if the same sentence continues after the pause there's no reason to capitalize the second half.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Sore wa himitsu desu.
CloudGrain
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:40 pm

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Update 3]

Post by CloudGrain »

Despite the calm off the room, it feels like we're all on edge. All being taken just far enough out of our comfort zones to make things awkward.

Lilly's silence is almost deafening as I visibly see something of the conflict between politeness and actually addressing the elephant in the room. Hanako's own silence is somewhat more normal given her nature... although the glances I catch her stealing at me are disconcerting. They're not the same scared appraisals of me that I can remember the first time we talked in the library. But they've still got some element of concern in them. It's no wonder, given the circumstances, but not something I'm sure I would expect from her. I would have expected for the same attempts at avoidance, for the withdrawing away from any type of potentially awkward social situation. Not unlike how Lilly had been so careful to skirt around the issue, but with a little less elegance and tact than Lilly had at her disposal.

Of course... it's only because of me that the whole situation seems so stretched in the first place.

Only because of the fact that I'm the talk of the school because of what happened during the festival. Because of the fact that I couldn't manage to open up, to make myself feel a little more like I belonged here; despite all the attempts that people had made to make me feel welcome. My breath catches somewhat in my throat as I'm left to such thoughts; stumbling somewhat to conclusions about why I found myself on the roof in the first place.

"Hisao?" The questioning calling of my names draws me out of my mind and back into the tearoom as Lilly carefully sets down a cup of tea for me. I smile, relieved at the being drawn away from myself at such an opportune moment. I carefully take the tea, unable to help but marvel slightly at Lilly's ability to cope with her own disability. It's easy to assume that being blind for most of your life would mean that adaptation would be natural, but after having had just a few months to adapt so poorly to a heart condition... Being unable to use a sense seems infinitely more difficult.

The words that come to mind, and more or less spew out of my mouth aren't particularly tactful and considerate... But some sort of conversation might help me to not focus so much on my own shortcomings. "Lilly, would you mind if I asked you something...?" Lilly nods graciously, expression lightening up at my breaking the silence. "How can you... I mean, how do you cope, adjust... how can you do things without being able to see them?" The awkward wording of the question makes it even worse in my own mind, and I can't help but try to rectify it by trying to better specify, noticing Lilly's own combination of muted confusion and consternation. "I mean... does sound come more into play? Is something like pouring tea something you just had to practice enough times with the same tea-set until it became second nature?" The question's specifications bring Lilly from looking a little confused at the suddenness of the question to a very slight smile as she seems to realize that I'm not trying to offend her in any way. Moreso just curious as to how living without one of the senses I take for granted would work out.

"I have much better hearing than most, no doubt thanks to focusing so much more on it. It helps in most cases, and in those that it can't simply being careful seems to eliminate most of the other 'hardships' that people believe I have." Lilly says slowly, sitting down across from me and Hanako at the table, holding the tea delicately in one hand and the saucer in another. "I would say that having had so long to adjust to my situation and adapt has made it into something that doesn't usually require much thought most of the time." A somewhat troubled expression flutters across her face. "Of course, perhaps I'm lucky that my... condition couldn't potentially get any worse."

Damn. The correctness that Lilly feels such a need to convey, just in case my own condition is one of those that might get worse stings. That even though I've been enough of an idiot to more or less push her concern away last week she's more than happy to more or less cater to me regardless. Even Hanako was willing and able to provide a sort of an opening for me here today, pressure me into being a little more open after I'd so deliberately closed myself off last week.

I sip the tea, determine it's too hot, and suddenly find myself speaking.

"I... My... condition I suppose isn't..." I find myself flagging as Lilly perks up slightly, opening her eyes in a vague approximation of looking at me while Hanako nervously glances over. "I'm not missing an arm or a leg, not missing a sense... I suppose it makes me a bit lucky at this school, to not have people able to judge me by just a glance to know what's wrong." I start, awkwardly spilling over the words that come to mind, feeling bad knowing that there's the potential that since Lilly can't exactly see me, she can't exactly be expected to know such things. She nods once, very simply, and I can't help but notice that Hanako is maintaining her gaze rather than only inspecting me for a short period before looking away. Taking a deep breath, I take that plunge that I just couldn't bring myself to last week.

"I've got arrhythmia."

"Arrhythmia?" The question comes from Hanako, who is staring with wide-eyes, immediately diverting her gaze when I turn to her and nod in affirmation.

"My heart is... bad, would be the simplest way to put it. My heart skips beats, doesn't stay quite steady. Medicine helps, but after all the surgeries over the past few months after my heart attack..." I trail off, and find it a prudent time to take a long sip of tea. I feel like some of the weight that's been on the whole room has dissipated slightly, but still can't find much reason or way to continue.

Lilly sets her cup and saucer down on the table, and intertwines her hands as she looks thoughtful for a moment and then seems to be struck by a revelation. "So... When we walked to town...?" She begins, causing me to wince at the incident where I'd thought to simply explain it and dismissed it in favor of just downplaying the issue. It feels now like an opportunity I'd had but managed to miss. It wasn't like Lilly was naive enough to have believed the weak lie that I'd given there, just polite enough not to push the issue terribly, especially with Rin there.

"I wasn't having any real trouble with my heart then, no." I say quickly, dismissing Lilly's notion that she might have unintentionally had a part in damaging me a little bit further. "But having spent a few months in the hospital with nothing to do, adjusting to daily life has still been a little hard." I admit slowly, feeling yet a little more weight sliding off my shoulders as Lilly seems to relax somewhat at my assurances. Hanako seems to merely be working on processing the information silently in her own way as we all return to the tea for a moment. The whole atmosphere seems just a little bit lighter now, at least to me, having pushed the burden a little off my chest.

I feel like if I had just done this before the festival, things would have gone differently. I'm not better, I know that. It's not as though merely telling people what is 'wrong' with me will give me the power to get over a lot of what I've felt for the past few months. It won't cure my condition either. But it makes it feel a little less like something that I need to hide. Even in silence, a still somewhat awkward silence, I feel better than I have in a long time.

Finishing my tea, I sit back and smile tensely, feeling better after what I've managed to finally say. Still, now I feel somewhat like I'm intruding, overstaying my welcome with Hanako and Lilly. I'm probably not in the position of being the best conversational partner right now... Lilly would certainly be polite enough to field any number of topics I might suggest, and Hanako might even be able to break out of her shell to ask a question here or there. After having let them slightly 'in' though, I feel a bit of a need to be alone for a little while, that trying to act like nothing happened might somewhat cloud the feeling of relief that I have.

"Thank you both very much, for the tea and for talking with me. It helped." I say as I stand up, picking up my bag from besides my chair, giving both Hanako and Lilly a sincere smile. Hanako blushes slightly and stammers out something along the lines of a 'you're welcome', while Lilly unknowingly returns the smile with one of her own, apparently relieved by my tone. Turning on my heels, I prepare to head down to the library, still somewhat intent on picking up a few books to spend the rest of the evening with.

All in all... things could have gone much worse today. Sure, things were for the most part awkward and stretched out, but they were manageable. With all of the effort that I put into my schoolwork today alone, there's no doubt that I can't at least keep up in that regard. With the simple little bits of support that I've gotten from just a few of my classmates, even if most of them appear to be skittish around me now, it all seems just a little bit more manageable than it did before.

Getting some books from a slightly anxious Yuuko, going back to my room and finally relaxing somewhat, I can't help but think of the simple fact that if worst came to worst, things won't have to go on for too much longer before they'll change. It's just a year, just a few months in each semester... which are each only a few weeks long. If I had to, I could go to class and go to my room, read, pass time well enough on my own. And that'd be the worst case scenario, that I'd learn and get things done without too much interaction beyond that. But... If I'm not terribly wrong, there are still going to be people who'll try to interact with me, still be people who want to pull me a little bit out of the darker place that I'd been since the hospital.

The worst case scenario doesn't look all too bad. And it doesn't seem like it's as likely to come to pass if I just interact with people a little more honestly and openly.

Cracking the top to a can of drink, I crack open the first book that I'd picked up from the library, and begin to delve into a fantasy-world that's not too much stranger than the one I live in.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
User avatar
TheTealeaf
Posts: 98
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 3:43 pm
Location: England

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 19]

Post by TheTealeaf »

This is a nice way to wrap it up.

I really liked the scene where Hisao is stumbling over asking Lilly about her disability. Felt very real if that makes sense and was well dealt with.

I always do enjoy reading your writing Cloud.

Not much apart from keep on with the writing!

As always, good work.
Tealeaf. Old cockney rhyming slang for 'thief'. That is what KS did to me. It tealeafed my heart straight from my chest. Especially you Rin. Especially you.

One cannot think well, sleep well, love well if one has not dined well
- Virginia Woolf

Cooking is like love. Enter with abandon or not at all
AntonSlavik020
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:03 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 19]

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

As tealeaf said, very good job with the conversation in the tea room. I feel like the way your ending chapters your making it so the story can end at any of them(except the first), and it would be acceptable. I felt pretty satisfied at the end of the last two chapters, though more so at the end of this one.
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune
CloudGrain
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:40 pm

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Update 4]

Post by CloudGrain »

Well... I've suddenly come to find myself in possession of an ordinate amount of free time, with a temporary job having come to an abrupt and somewhat unexpected end.
____

Wednesday went by almost normally as far as things seem to go at Yamaku.

Plenty of people seemed content to stare, whisper, gossip about me.

But at the same time, Shizune and Misha both came over when the announcement for group-work went out. Both a little cautious at first, but with Misha being Misha and Shizune's 'voice' more or less having to go right through her, it seemed like they both warmed right back up. Misha with a little bit of absent-mindedness as she worked, Shizune as focused as a laser on the work but not above making a joke of her own once in a while. They were easy enough to get along with, and definitely something of a welcome break from how I had been throwing myself at the work alone.

Lunch came and went, a little more comfortably than the day before's had since the Student-Council duo had invited me along. Fitting in, being a part of a small group helped to keep the feeling of being 'stared at' throughout the meal.

We went back to classes, I resumed throwing myself into the individual work with intent while Shizune and Misha broke up the desks from a grouping. As much as I'd thought before that coasting through a lot of school would be easy, there's still plenty of new material being thrown out here at Yamaku, and I figured I'd have to keep on top of it. By the time that class ended, I went to the library, returning some of the books I'd gotten the other day and picking out a fresh new selection, grabbing some food from the cafeteria and heading back to my dorm.

Wednesday was... unremarkable, but good to be that way.

Thursday was much the same, followed in rapid succession by Friday. Falling back into the routine that'd been almost-established the week before of going to school, interacting just a little bit with a few people, and going 'home' to my dormitory to do some reading and schoolwork. Everything being said and done, it wasn't bad at all.

Today is Saturday though.

The day that we've got half-off from classes. Where the main point that most people seem to make is social interaction, where they try to hang out with their friends.

I'm not entirely sure that even at the end of my second week here I've got any friends.

Despite all that a few of my fellow students have done for me, I'm not really entirely sure that we would call one another friends. I know that Shizune and Misha are definitely friendly towards me, but by Friday they were already getting back on track with trying to push me towards joining the Student Council, much to my chagrin. I know that I'd opened up to Lilly and Hanako... but beyond greeting Hanako in the morning when I saw her and getting a stuttered reply in response, I haven't exactly even spoken to her. I haven't exactly seen Lilly since Tuesday either, and wouldn't want to impose myself on the pair, taking advantage of their hospitality. If I went back into last week, I could probably even count Emi as someone who'd wanted to help me... admittedly moreso with her own running and me tagging along. But still seeming hopeful to get me somewhat back into shape. Even Rin could've, in her own weird way, been being as friendly as she could.

Of course, being friendly to someone and being friends with someone were two entirely different things.

I cut my morning musings short as I enter the classroom, keeping up with my habit of being early now that I've found some motivation for my education over the past few days. Normally, I'm one of the first few here. But today, it looks like I'm the first person here and throwing my bag down by my desk as I take a seat and close my eyes, I can't help but smile somewhat. I wasn't exactly usually the most motivated, or even on-time student back at my old school.

Then again, I wasn't someone who knew he had arrhythmia at my old school... or the new guy who jumped off the roof. But at least not all of the changes were so definitely bad, right?

"G-good morning..."

The words break me from my reverie as I open my eyes to be greeted by Hanako shyly looking away.

"Good morning, Hanako." I say, flashing a quick smile as she fidgets slightly with her bag, not headed towards her seat. "Something on your mind?" I ask, hoping to somewhat expedite the process. I feel like if she can talk to me before anyone else shows up, there's more of a chance of having something that actually resembles a conversation with her.

A quick nod, a little bit of relief comes from Hanako at my breaking the awkwardness, although the words still aren't exactly forthcoming.

"I was... just wondering if y-you're f-feeling a l-little bit... bit better now?" She asks, shirking away from eye contact as soon as she manages to make it. I feel a little bit of warmth rush to my ears as I rub the back of my neck, genuinely thankful for the concern that Hanako's willing to show. "Y-you seemed... peaceful, r-right then." Hanako says, giving the rare emphasis of her own smile to the statement. It proves to be a little contagious as I feel my own lips curling back up into a smile while I consider my answer.

"I think I am. I was just considering the fact that I've never exactly been the first person to classes before, and that not all change has to be bad." I say it almost absent-mindedly, not so much minding the fact that I know Hanako so little. I can't say that I exactly know anyone here yet, but shouldn't honesty to sincere questions be the basis for that? "Sorry, half thinking aloud." I say, smiling as Hanako nods, looking as though she's about to say something more, once again playing with her hands and staring intently on the ground. Like a child who'd just dropped something fragile and broken it, right in front of an adult. I'm half considering pointing that out to hopefully draw her out of her shell.

Of course, the world's loudest interpreter for the deaf practically kicking the door off its hinges sends Hanako scurrying back to her seat before I can open my mouth.

"Early again, Hicchan? Not trying to steal Shicchan's work, are you~? She wasn't happy when you finished before her yesterday~!" Misha exclaims, her volume level almost disturbingly high since there are only four people in the room, even giving a mock approximation of an angry expression before bursting into her usual laughter. Honestly... where she got all this energy, I don't think that I'll ever know. Even getting up a little earlier on my own right, I know I'm not so much a morning person.

"Morning Misha, Shizune." I reply, effortlessly shrugging aside the accusations and chit-chat. I'll have to admit I'm a little bit perturbed, having been interesting in what Hanako might have had to say.

The duo turns to one another, signing rapidly before Misha turns back to me, hands on her waist and toothy grin while Shizune is similarly grinning. "Shicchan says you should help us with some of the physics homework, on account of us doing so much as your Student Council. If we didn't have such a heavy workload for Student Council, we might have been able to do it last night. But nobody was around to help us, Hicchan, nobody~!" Misha says, I can almost feel the pair edging closer.

I'm starting to re-think this early start to the day.

Fending off the Student-Council's thinly veiled recruitment attempts while helping them with their homework waiting for the rest of the class to file in...

The recruitment attempts seem like a given, but my academic attempts and earliness are some surprising new habits that I can't say I'm not proud of and hoping to keep. Our little 'trio' manages to just barely finish the last equation before Mutou comes into the classroom, looking a little bit less-than-enthusiastic for the prospect of teaching today. It looks like busy-work for today, as Mutou writes out examples from the book for us to do rather than going on into one of his somewhat scatterbrained lectures. Not that I can complain... It's pretty much the same stuff that I just had to explain to Misha and Shizune.

'Biting the bullet', unlike quite a few of my classmates who seem to be more than happy to instead resume sleeping, time goes by rather quickly.

But not quickly enough... I realize that I've completed the sets about an hour before the lesson is over. Looking over, I can see that Misha is going along at a good rate, while Shizune is at about the point I was ten minutes ago. It's surprising to see that when I push myself in regards to academics I can beat out Shizune. Granted, only in most of the math and science, with English still being my proverbial 'boogeyman'. Scanning the rest of the classroom boredly, I can't help but notice that Hanako is playing truant again, while the rest of the class seems to be in various states of either halfheartedly working or nearly asleep. A few quiet conversations are going on, just to keep a little bit of background noise instead of outright silence.

Mutou seems to catch me looking around, and looks at me in confusion before gesturing towards both me and the papers in front of me while putting down a scientific journal. Dutifully, I take them up to him and hand the somewhat untidy pile of equations to him. His mood seems to lighten somewhat as he reads through them quickly. "Very good, Nakai. I think that you're all done, if you'd like to go. Or maybe if you'd like to help anyone else with their work." Mutou says, his expression a good deal... Lighter than when he'd come in. It seems like he's the sort of teacher who really took a lot of interest in having his students really grasp the material he teaches.

For the first time in a while, with Saturday looming ahead in all of it's... strangeness to this new schedule that I've found for myself, I feel like I've got a real and important choice to make.

Should I go out and try to enjoy the day?

Or should I stay here for a little longer, with the security that the classroom really provides me?

On one hand, Saturday is supposed to be a day to be enjoyed. I could go visit the library and read a few quiet books. If worst comes to worst, Yuuko would certainly be happy to see me again with more reading material. She'd been really helpful the other day in finding a title from an author I enjoyed that I'd never been able to find before. I could go outside, enjoy the fact that I was out of the hospital, maybe even do my best to take the Nurse's advice and try to exercise a little bit. I could go into town, I could just explore the school some more. I could do anything.

Or I could stay here, help Shizune and Misha for a little bit. Maybe actually try to break the ice with a few of my other classmates. Try to dispel some of the awkwardness that's existed between me and practically everyone else since my... accident on the roof.

Decisions, decisions...

___

Notable edit;

Unfortunately, didn't realize that I was setting people right up for getting into a little bit of trouble here regarding the forum's rules on no requesting right alongside (to a limited degree) no CYOA type threads. I apologize for the ambiguity, have removed an initial statement at the top, and will leave in the nice bright red lettering to hopefully grab your attention before you get slapped on the wrist as well.

:oops: Sorry for leaving a few of you open for this, and hoping to avoid future instances. Sorry!

(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)
Last edited by CloudGrain on Mon Oct 20, 2014 7:45 pm, edited 2 times in total.
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
User avatar
TheTealeaf
Posts: 98
Joined: Sun Sep 07, 2014 3:43 pm
Location: England

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 20]

Post by TheTealeaf »

*bounces on the spot*

Nice! Like this part as well, I can really feel Hisao's internal struggle with his choices.

Hehe I could see this as part of a route for several of the girls, depending on the choice made by Hisao!

Hell you could even go into some of the other pupils for 3-3

Ever fancied doing a Misha route? :D

this piece just SCREAMS possibilities at me and it would be a cryin shame to see it go to waste on wayside.

My vote is for keep going.

You always turn out good quality work cloud (Personally I think better than mine) and I certainly think you've got the drive to do a route!

Of course that's just my two pence on the matter.

Either way, I always enjoy your work.

(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)
Tealeaf. Old cockney rhyming slang for 'thief'. That is what KS did to me. It tealeafed my heart straight from my chest. Especially you Rin. Especially you.

One cannot think well, sleep well, love well if one has not dined well
- Virginia Woolf

Cooking is like love. Enter with abandon or not at all
AntonSlavik020
Posts: 607
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:03 pm
Location: Cleveland, OH

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 20]

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

I take back what I said, this HAS to keep going. I second everything tealeaf said. It's ultimately up to you what happens of course, but I'm hoping Hisao stays in the classroom. I'm naturally hoping he becomes friends with Shizune and Misha, but I'll take any combination of classmates you choose.

(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)
Best girl
Hanako=Shizune>Misha>Lilly>Rin>Emi

Best route
Hanako>Lilly>Rin>Emi>Shizune
azumeow
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2014 1:04 am

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Update 4]

Post by azumeow »

CloudGrain wrote: I'll have to admit I'm a little bit perturbed, having been interesting in what Hanako might have had to say.
CloudGrain wrote: I could do anything.

Or I could stay here, help Shizune and Misha for a little bit. Maybe actually try to break the ice with a few of my other classmates. Try to dispel some of the awkwardness that's existed between me and practically everyone else since my... accident on the roof.

Decisions, decisions...
HISAO
WAT R U DOIN
HISAO
STAHP

But seriously, he better go find out what Hanako wants. It'd be downright rude not to find out what she was planning to ask him, if you want my opinion.

Then again, nobody wants my opinion. But I still give it anyway <3

(USER WAS WARNED FOR THIS POST)
"I don’t want to be here anymore, I know there’s nothing left worth staying for.
Your paradise is something I’ve endured
See I don’t think I can fight this anymore, I’m listening with one foot out the door
And something has to die to be reborn-I don’t want to be here anymore"
Silentcook
Carelessly Cooking You
Posts: 2568
Joined: Thu Mar 06, 2008 8:22 am
Location: Imola, Italy

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 20]

Post by Silentcook »

Teh Sticky of Doom.

For those who don't get it: no polling for plot direction, and no voting on plot direction. Ever. Also a side dish of the No CYOA sticky, while we're at it.
Shattering your dreams since '94. I also fought COVID in '20 and '21, and all I got was this lousy forum sig.

Image
CloudGrain
Posts: 75
Joined: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:40 pm

Re: After the Fall [Alternate-Ending, Updated Oct 20]

Post by CloudGrain »

My fault entirely, SilentCook, I will update a portion of the post to reflect.


TheTealeaf wrote:*bounces on the spot*

Nice! Like this part as well, I can really feel Hisao's internal struggle with his choices.

Hehe I could see this as part of a route for several of the girls, depending on the choice made by Hisao!

Hell you could even go into some of the other pupils for 3-3

Ever fancied doing a Misha route? :D

this piece just SCREAMS possibilities at me and it would be a cryin shame to see it go to waste on wayside.

My vote is for keep going.

You always turn out good quality work cloud (Personally I think better than mine) and I certainly think you've got the drive to do a route!

Of course that's just my two pence on the matter.

Either way, I always enjoy your work.


Thanks kindly for the encouragement, as always! And it was indeed the intent to leave it fairly open-ended at this point. I've been musing over a few different ideas and directions for it all to take (or perhaps even multiple), but didn't want to pin myself down to any single thing quite yet. I think that I've got the idea in mind for what I'd like to continue-on. But I'll probably sleep on it this evening just to see if it still strikes me the same way when I wake up and have time to write it all down.

Exceptionally sorry about getting you a warning inadvertently with the stickied rules. :(
AntonSlavik020 wrote:I take back what I said, this HAS to keep going. I second everything tealeaf said. It's ultimately up to you what happens of course, but I'm hoping Hisao stays in the classroom. I'm naturally hoping he becomes friends with Shizune and Misha, but I'll take any combination of classmates you choose.
Thanks so much! I'm stoked to hear that it's gone from just 'getting interesting' to something you would like to see updates for! :D Hopefully, I'll be able to provide more content now that I've got some more free time in the immediate future.

Once again though, I am very sorry for leaving you open to getting a warning. Practically setting people up for failure of that rule here. :oops:
azumeow wrote: HISAO
WAT R U DOIN
HISAO
STAHP

But seriously, he better go find out what Hanako wants. It'd be downright rude not to find out what she was planning to ask him, if you want my opinion.

Then again, nobody wants my opinion. But I still give it anyway <3
Thank you very much for having such an interest in this! Glad that I'm able to draw such a response from you with this little snippet. :D Although, like with Anton and Tealeaf, I really am sorry that I really left you open to get the slap on the wrist of a warning here. I do apologize. :(
The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but a beautiful thing to lose.
Post Reply