Mirage_GSM wrote:So I take it those three stories are supposed to be part of the same narrative?
So far the overlap has been negligible...
Despite my Freshman English Teacher's best efforts, I still write in chronological order. (Which is not to say these are all happening at the same time.) Yes, they are all going to be attending Yamaku. Don't worry, there's one last character to introduce, followed by a somewhat logistical chapter which I won't mention, then the underwater basket weaving begins.
A small ball of yarn flew over the bed as he awoke. Having lived in an orphanage for most of his life, this barely disturbed him enough to make him do anything but roll over. Feeling the bandage around his left shoulder, as it was now soggy from sweat, he let his pillow embrace his head once more.
“Oh, sweetie, it’s time to get up! Mother wants to see you now.” A sing-song voice wafted up to the boy, childish and innocent sounding.
This time a yarn ball hit his ear. Rolling onto his side, the boy looked at the girl on the floor beside his bunk. “You really shouldn't be up this early, Golenia.” His voice was faint and raspy, but Golenia could make out the words well enough to rebut.
“Come on you lazy bastard.” Golenia’s once sing-song, childish voice was now commanding, the facade of motherly caring stripped away and replaced with a teenager woken much too early for their liking. Thus was the nature of Tsukami orphanage. Due to recent advances in civil policy and medicine, parents were very unlikely to die before a child matured fully. As such, all the children there were considered undesirable by their parents. Adoption was unlikely, so the owners focused on raising the children rather than grooming them for an adoption.
Climbing out of the bed, the boy slid a shirt on to cover himself, letting the rough cloth slide over his shoulders bandages. He stretched his back and arms, then looked at the door. Undoubtedly, “Mother,” as she insisted she be called, wanted to speak to Golenia and the boy. Golenia slept closest to Mother, so she was the messenger to the other five children in the orphanage.
Golenia grabbed his hand and led him down the hall, ignoring his sluggish stumblings and protests. When she reached the door to Mother’s room, she opened it and practically threw him in, then shut the door. Quiet footsteps were then heard in the hall, and mother rose from a large maroon armchair.
If he had believed in them, the boy would've thought her a dragon’s daughter, what with her tendency to sit atop the chair like the children were a golden hoard of some ancient civilization, long forgotten by time and humanity. “I've been thinking about your schooling last year. You did rather well, although you complained some students made fun of you for having to stay out of gym.”
The boy nodded, his hair falling around his head and eyes. The short, black strands played in a soft breeze from a nearby fan. “Norman, you’re going to need to answer me in order for this to get anywhere.”
At the mention of his name, Norman looked up slowly. “Yes, Mother. I was teased and my peers avoided me.”
Mother grimaced at his brusque manners. “Then you should not object to switching schools.” With this, a small gasp was heard outside the door, and the handle rattled slightly. “Come in, Golenia, I know you’re out there. This will apply to you too.”
“Fine,” with this, Golenia walked into the room, a sly smile on her face. “So that’s what those men were here about!”
“Yes, Mister Mutou and the History Director came here last night at my request. Mother had a sweet smile, as if she was a baker leaving pie out for the children. “I expect you both of you to treat them with respect when you go to meet them next week, they are very kind gentlemen who are very busy.”
“All right. Play nice. Got it.” Norman leaned against a bookshelf, slightly grimacing as a shelf pressed against his bandage. He looked at Golenia’s hair, imagining the roots tracing down past her scalp, leading to her skull and spine, which were brittle like so much glass and china. Mother had given her leg supports and calcium supplements, so she could run around, but a sharp blow or fall could still shatter her like a plate against cement.
“Norman, don’t be so standoff-ish.” Mother looked at Norman with knowing eyes. “You will go to Yamaku, you will do well, then you will be free of me and this place. Understand, everything I do is for your own good, whether you like it or not.”
With this, she handed him a small bag with seven injections. “This week’s needles are the last I’m allowed to hand you.The rest will be sent to your dorm room on the second floor of Yamaku.”
Last edited by Broomhead on Thu Nov 13, 2014 11:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
There's a lot of new characters being added. Seeing as how they're all new, I kinda hope the perspective doesn't switch between four different people. I suppose I can get used to it if you do that, but with all new characters, it'd be better if the number was lower than that. That's my opinion anyways.
AntonSlavik020 wrote:There's a lot of new characters being added. Seeing as how they're all new, I kinda hope the perspective doesn't switch between four different people. I suppose I can get used to it if you do that, but with all new characters, it'd be better if the number was lower than that. That's my opinion anyways.
I can't promise anything, but I will say that each character will be moving into a classroom setting for chapter two, so it should be a bit easier to comprehend. Going to actually make the directory Thursday when the next chapter comes out.
The story is intended to be told over-the-shoulder style, although I may cut in some thoughts from each character. Sorry for the jumpiness though.
Mirage_GSM wrote:Neither Golenia nor Norman are Japanese names. You didn't include any reason why they should live in a Japanese orphanage.
Patience, dear reader. If I made the first chapter an explanation by the chorus, I'd simply stop writing. I do tend to weave plots into my stories you know.
I'm not sure this is a legitimate reason to put them in an orphanage...
*ahem* You see, Norman and Golenia are of spartan descent, and as there were no nearby cliffs, they elected to throw the children into a window of a random house.
In reality, think about how Jigoro treats Shizune's disability in-game. He, in my thinking, is a moderate example of something I see in my area a lot where people view disabilities (and often their cures) as making the person inherently worse than an average person.
Patience, dear reader. If I made the first chapter an explanation by the chorus, I'd simply stop writing.
If you intend to do that, everything's fine.
It's just that I've read so many (bad) fics where authors had their OCs fly in from America (or wherever) that warning lights start flashing in my head whenever I see that...
Also, I think this is the first time I've ever seen Jigoro described as a moderate example of anything.
This is a record-breaking year for Yamaku, as over 1,700 students are attending. The medical paperwork alone nearly caused me to suffocate! During the nursing staff orientation Mr. Mutou and Mr. Aedric spoke to us about our positions as caretakers and advisors to the students. According to them, we will each be receiving “rudimentary self-preservation training,” so that, in the event of an emergency, we can stop anything from happening to the students. However, he didn’t go further into why self defense was part of this training. Perhaps the school is overly cautious.
We received profiles on each of our charges the day after, 15 each. Apparently, only eight of my charges have attended the school before. I asked senior nurse Kanasu why, and he said that each nurse keeps their charges through the school years, so if I have any students who have had a different nurse before, the other nurse must’ve left or the student requested a transfer. It makes me kinda nervous that I’m getting a bunch who may be touchy or picky.
Looking through the files, I noticed that one of them was receiving monthly shipments of injections approved by their guardian, but the file did not mention what they were and what they were treating. Apparently this “Norman” is going to be the type to keep quiet about what’s wrong. I hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass. Strange though, he doesn’t have a listed last name, just Norman “Tsukami,” the name of his orphanage. There’s also no relations listed aside from the director of the Tsukami orphanage, “Mother.” Of course, he probably made a friend or two there… I hope.
Another charge of mine, a “Takeshi Degaro” is listed as a leg amputee from a childhood accident, as well as Waardenburg’s Syndrome, augmented by implants to cure his deafness. Apparently, he wears contacts and dyes his hair to hide the pigmentation, so I’m going to assume the topic is going to be hard to broach. This kid just got all the bad cards in the deck, right?
His guardians are listed as his grandfather and grandmother, not his parents. Perhaps there’s a link between the accident and that fact. I should contact his counselor and ask about that. Or, perhaps I can ask his grandparents when they visit later this week. It’s almost frightening to think I’ll be starting my first school year in a week!
Two of my other charges are deaf twins. It’s strange to see non-implanted deaf children, what with the process having a 99% survival rate, and a rather low cost. Of course, there are the righteous “puritans” who believe all body modification are sins punishable by death. Perhaps they come from a puritan family. Funny how beliefs play out like that so often.
Doing the math, roughly 290 students are going to be in each section of the dorms. When I was touring the school for my interview, I accidentally walked in on a meeting about the dorm configuration.
Apparently, they put the blind and deaf on the bottom floor, as well as those needing wheelchairs. The second floor is mostly amputees and those with physical complications such as epilepsy. Although they’d never admit it, disabilities sorted as “minor” compared to others are put on the top floor, such as missing hands, or internal issues such as arrhythmia or brittlebones. Of course, the dorms might as well be bullet-proof with all the safety measures in place. Earthquakes, fires, even storm and tsunami preventative measures. Either way, the students seem to be also put together so they are near their classmates, so they’ll be comforted.
-Nurse Ueda, Junior Nurse
(Written by Alucard Cerbes)
Last edited by Broomhead on Thu Nov 20, 2014 10:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
There hasn't been an official number of students at Yamaku, but there are some estimates.
A plausible upper limit would probably be around 300 - nowhere near the 1.700 you mentioned in this chapter.
I'm going to assume that in 2007, 18 kids a class (Mutou's class) was normal for the time. However, with twenty years of publicity and population growth, I felt comfortable putting the number at ~1700 would be okay. Furthermore, world travel (and thus immigration) has increased over the years. I forgot where I read it, but a recent estimate puts the average highschool in Japan at 750-1000 students. Assuming Yamaku is fairly unique among schools, and has the extra generation of good will and free publicity, 1700 seems good for 2027. Dunno if it works for everyone though.
Broomhead wrote:I'm going to assume that in 2007, 18 kids a class (Mutou's class) was normal for the time. However, with twenty years of publicity and population growth, I felt comfortable putting the number at ~1700 would be okay. Furthermore, world travel (and thus immigration) has increased over the years. I forgot where I read it, but a recent estimate puts the average highschool in Japan at 750-1000 students. Assuming Yamaku is fairly unique among schools, and has the extra generation of good will and free publicity, 1700 seems good for 2027. Dunno if it works for everyone though.
At four classes per level (my headcanon says 5, because the Japanese '4' sounds like 'death' and hence is taboo) and 20 per class (max) that gives 240-300 students. To raise it to 1700 means at least three times the space assuming optimum facility usage. Having taught in such a school with a starting population of 1200 that increased to 3000 over the years, it's not impossible, but it's very very difficult. Especially if you're up on Mount Aoba. Sorry for the nitpickery...
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end. Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga. "Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
brythain wrote:
At four classes per level (my headcanon says 5, because the Japanese '4' sounds like 'death' and hence is taboo) and 20 per class (max) that gives 240-300 students. To raise it to 1700 means at least three times the space assuming optimum facility usage. Having taught in such a school with a starting population of 1200 that increased to 3000 over the years, it's not impossible, but it's very very difficult. Especially if you're up on Mount Aoba. Sorry for the nitpickery...
We know that there are side classrooms not being used from Lilly and Shizune's routes, so some of the facilities are already there. And I also assume that 3-4 is a Floor-Class designation (0 being the ground floor), as well as a grade-class designation. Quick math, 20x4=80x3=240 students. Assuming that shizune uses the tea room in act 4, that puts us at 5, making the number 300, and if not, 360. I'd estimate, looking at Mutou's class, you could fit a few more tables in there, perhaps up to 10 more, since they are so spread out. If I wanted to buff numbers from there, it would be 540 max capacity, but we also have to account for the art room and library, (which are on floor 3 as far as I can tell) which could mean 1 or two extra classes below them each, putting us at 660-780. Or, assuming that they could be converted into actual classes, 720-900. Furthermore, we don't know what all is on the bottom floor (I assume cafeteria, administration, and perhaps some student-use class rooms for tutoring and student-council related activities?) aside from what we see in Shizune route.
So, me buffing numbers puts max capacity at 900, assuming they only use 1 building (which they do in my story). Now, of course, I could go the extra mile and start making up non-mentioned classrooms (the hallway cuts only show us one direction, and Mutou's door isn't against the wall. We know this because Hisao took an Emi blast, which pushes up to 2 targets 5 feet back and gives the original target a chance of heart failure.)
I'm completely fine with the nitpickery BTW. It's rather hard to offend me on something so nebulous as this. It's practically all headcanon, so fire away.
Broomhead wrote:So, me buffing numbers puts max capacity at 900, assuming they only use 1 building (which they do in my story). Now, of course, I could go the extra mile and start making up non-mentioned classrooms (the hallway cuts only show us one direction, and Mutou's door isn't against the wall. We know this because Hisao took an Emi blast, which pushes up to 2 targets 5 feet back and gives the original target a chance of heart failure.)
I'm completely fine with the nitpickery BTW. It's rather hard to offend me on something so nebulous as this. It's practically all headcanon, so fire away.
I'll take your word for it. Actually, moving away from the visual reference provided by the Brown University exteriors, I'd think of the teaching block as a basic ground floor where the staff room is and maybe lockers and the cafeteria, a first floor with the labs and Year 1 students, a second floor with the library and Year 2 students, and a third floor with the art room (and maybe a workshop or two) and Year 3 students. On each floor are five home-room classrooms and several other classrooms for language classes and other break-out class groupings. The tea room on the third floor is actually an unused club room, or one that is not used at the times Lilly uses it. We also know that the hallways can have classrooms on both sides, because in one scene they go across the corridor to another classroom.
The problem is that you can't just stuff students into all the classes or convert them all into home classrooms. You'd be lowering the facility count available for a broader range of educational experiences. For example, using the art room for normal classes defeats the purpose of having an art room. Same with science labs. Or (horrors) the library.
One solution is that since the buildings are on Mount Aoba, perhaps they have split-level buildings, with extensions that go downhill or uphill, so that entry at different floors is possible. There are definitely other buildings — the one with the nursing staff and physiotherapy facilities is one of them, and the admin office is there too. I would love to see an archery range built on the side of the mountain, or into the side of the mountain. Things like that. Facilities for martial arts... special studios...
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end. Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga. "Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
brythain wrote:
The problem is that you can't just stuff students into all the classes or convert them all into home classrooms. You'd be lowering the facility count available for a broader range of educational experiences. For example, using the art room for normal classes defeats the purpose of having an art room. Same with science labs. Or (horrors) the library.
Yeah, totally. I'm just trying to point out that with enough jiggery pokery, one can turn canon facts into rough estimates of maximum student capacity.
Facilities for martial arts... special studios...
I swear, half the things you say I hate you for, because I've already written them and don't want to look like I copied you, you glorious person.
There may be a gondola/lift going up to yamaku in 2027 which hosts the engineering classes, and a couple of stages I've figured out how to hide in Yamaku campus (as they didn't explore much of it).
A soft rumbling noise was heard from afar as the student orientation day’s sun rose above the Yamaku dorms. The drop-off ring was filled to the brim with parents saying their farewells and students walking away from them with caution and perhaps a little excitement. The students who had been through Yamaku the year before were a bit more confident, often smiling as they spoke to a remembered teacher or classmate. A couple of lovebirds were even leaning against the fountain already, whiling away the time together till the announcements and school tours started.
About 45 metres off the ground, and much further away from the school, was a particularly frightened blue-haired girl in a gondola. The car she was in was coloured orange, and shook slightly as wind hit the sides. As if that wasn’t enough, despite her best efforts, she had been put in a car with two tourists from Britain, who had informed her of this moments before they had started vigorously kissing next to her. As the passengers were strapped into their seats, and the attendant had not separated the two yet. As such, she was forced to hear every action of their lips, point blank.
“Eeh, could you please stop? You’re making me nervous.” A tiny voice piped up over their kissing, although they turned a deaf ear to her. At this point, without announcement, the seating bars came up, and Yaara scurried over to the other side of the car. The lovers fell over onto her seat almost immediately. Luckily, just then the carriage speakers came on.
“We are about to open the cabin doors, please prepare to disembark.” The tired voice of the operator crackled to oblivion almost as soon as it came, but the relief lasted Yaara throughout the entire docking process. After a half-second of lustful gazing, the couple got their bags from the floor and separated themselves. The thirty seconds between the announcement and the doors opening was filled with a silent prayer to the gondola’s pilot.
When the doors opened, Yaara looked out over her new life, framed by the doorway of an orange Gondola. There were herds of students milling about the campus, the colours of the school and their clothes mixing into an overwhelming grey blur.
An indignant voice spoke up behind her. “Get out of the way.” stepping out of the doorway, baggage in hand, Yaara wandered down the steps of the gondola landing, then felt a kind hand on her shoulder.
“Hello, I’m the history director, Mr. Aedric. Do you know where your meeting area is?” The man was somewhat portly, and had green, square-lensed glasses. The nose they rested on was slightly shiny, as if plastic or polished metal.
She paused for a moment, like the question was complex algebra equation. “No, I don’t. My name is Yaara Aesho, could you point me over to where it is?” The tourists has walked past her and sauntered towards a nearby building. Yaara watched them cross a planter with little regard for the plants, and almost immediately get pulled over by a security guard and sent back toward the gondola.
“Yaara? Your group is over there.” Mr. Aedric shook her slightly, pointing to atall student amidst eleven others. He was running his finger down a list, looking at each student around him in turn. Obviously, he was trying to find the last of his flock.
Shouldering her bag, Yaara ran over to him, recognizing him from the brochure she was sent. He had on long, green pants, but the prosthetic leg was put on as if he was in a hurry. Perhaps he woke up late. His eyes played a symphony of relief as she approached, and he furiously marked the paper.
When she reached him, he grabbed her gloved hand, then let go like he had touched a fire when Yaara winced in pain. “Oh, sorry. Should’ve guessed that it was covering something. My name’s Taro. You must be Yaara Aesho, right?” He had a kind, apologetic smile on his face, and seemed to be scanning Yaara’s face. “Do you have any questions before we start the tour?”
“Is there some kind of-” Yaara started to speak, but a loud bell cut her off. The sidewalk they were standing on lit up with several fluorescent arrows, glowing the strange green of algae. The leaders of each group began gathering their charges and moving them towards one of the three buildings. Taro gathered up his group, tapping one student on the shoulder who was sitting on the grass drawing on a clipboard.
He then motioned towards a large fountain. “Alright, we’ll be heading to the classrooms first. Stick together, if you get lost, go to the fountain.” He began to stroll off towards the building beyond the fountain, occasionally checking to make sure his group was following him or giving another right of passage at an intersection.
After a while, they were inside a large hall with a couple of single doors, all labeled with mysterious signs such as 0-1 and 0-SC. There were two double doors labeled “Cafeteria” and a doorway leading into a warren of desks and calendars. There were a couple of stragglers crowding the stairs, and one or two students were waiting for the elevator. Taro motioned towards the empty doorway. “Those are the staff offices. If there is ever an emergency or you need to talk to an administrator, that’s where you want to go. This is the ground floor, so all classrooms with a 0 as the first character will be down here. The cafeteria is also down here.”
Yaara noticed a girl with brilliant scarlet hair standing in the doorway to the student council room. She seemed to be staring at someone in her group. Looking around, she saw the boy who was using the clipboard earlier. He had black hair and purple eyes, although they looked unrealistic enough to be contacts. His face had elements of a child much younger than him, but he wasn’t all that much to comment on anyway.
Taro started to open the cafeteria, “Alright, I’ll take you through a day in Yamaku starting here. If you don’t feel like making breakfast or need to meet someone in the morning here is the perfect place to do it.” As he opened the doors, Yaara settled in for a long tour, carrying her luggage.
(Which is not to say these are all happening at the same time.) Yes, they are all going to be attending Yamaku. Don't worry, there's one last character to introduce, followed by a somewhat logistical chapter which I won't mention, then the underwater basket weaving begins.
