Yamaku Book Club (20220124 Dish Washing)

[Sea]

Alright, let the carnage begin!

[brythain]

It's one of those pure entertainment Dick and Jane stories. Doesn't add much, doesn't intend to, takes a funny haha idea and runs with it quite amusingly in a slightly appalling way.

[Rhodri]

Something completely different from what I normally read, but I liked it. Seeing the Master of Romance using his powers of the sweater vest for evil was something of a breath of fresh air. It not a Hisao I'd like to see more of, but throwing a little spice in the mix adds a one off zing to the flavour that is his character.

[dewelar]

This felt like another one of those "writing exercise" stories, where Mirage wanted to write a certain story so he bent the characters into a shape that would fit it. Not nearly as good as Katawa Kijo, but I didn't find anything remarkably bad about it. I have no idea who some of these other characters are supposed to be, so I can't assess that bit. It fulfilled its purpose, and since it was a pre-full release story there aren't a whole lot of issues I can take with the characterization. Of course, there wasn't much for characterization, period, but I suppose a story like this doesn't need it .

Overall assessment: To use a way-overused phrase, it is what it is.

[Mirage_GSM]

Okay, that was a lot more positive than I expected ^^°

There were actually two motivations for me to write this story:

As I wrote in the thread I had the idea from this story when I saw the title of another fanfic on this board: V. day (Hanako).
At the time I'd ner heard the abbreviation "V-Day" for "Valentine's Day", so my immediate association was Victory Day and I expected to read a story about a Hisao like you've now all met in my story.
Since chaix didn't in fact write a story like that, I decided to do it myself.

The second reason was that I wanted to try to write a story from Shizune's perspective - something which iIrc hadn't been done before at the time. I don't even think there have been that many Shizune PoV stories since...

Obviously, any attempt to write a story with such a premis seriously would have been doomed to failure from the start, so it had to be a comedy story, and since I was using an OOC character anyway - and for the premise to work he needed to have had a ridiculous amount of affairs - I threw in a handful of cameo characters from other Anime for good measure, sadly ensuring that SC would never like the story...

Looking back, I'm not really happy with how the "punishment chapter" worked out, but to be honest I didn't have any better ideas for how to write a revenge plot without going into yandere territory. Besides it provided the opportunity to introduce more cameo characters - though I don't think anyone ever found all of them^^°

Somthing that worked out better than I expected it to was the interaction between Shizune and Kenji. As you already noted this story was written pre-release and at the time Misha was in fact the leading candidate for Kenji's ex. (I don't think anyone so much as mentioned Yuuko, but I might have forgotten.)

Usually I don't like to write Kenji, since he tends to destroy the mood in any serious story, but as we already established, this story was anything but, so he fit right in, and his dialogue almost wrote itself. The Kenji X Shizune stuff also worked better than I expected.

Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting.

[Mahorfeus]

It was a fun little story, though gods, I don't know how Hisao managed to bed all those girls.

And not directly related to the story, but I got a kick out of the exploitable image.

[Oscar Wildecat]

It was a fun little story, though gods, I don't know how Hisao managed to bed all those girls.

It's the sweatervest. Chicks dig the sweatervest.

Anyway, as others have said, this story is what it is. I enjoyed it for the Kenji x Shizune action. (Which is not too bad of a crack pairing. I mean, give Kenji some corrective eye surgery and JSL lessons so he could communicate properly with Shizune, as well as some psychotherapy to cure his case of gynophobia, you could have a formidable couple.)

[Sea]

Hmmmm, i'm lazy.
First suggestion gets it. Go!

[Oddball]

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=846

[brythain]

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=846

That there is a prototype for Jigoro Hakamichi.

[Sea]

Right then, lets read some old shit. Ima say the date shall be the 18th just so if someone misses it they can catch up.
Also for the sake of having at least something to discuss, READ BOTH OLD SHITS. Teehee. That is all.

[Sea]

You may begin.

[dewelar]

At the risk of seven years bad luck for commenting on unfinished work...this is pretty obviously unfinished work. Given that, I can't really give a fair critique of either one. However, I will say that I'm glad neither of these made it into the finished product. While the proto-Rin story could have been Quite Interesting, I think the one we got is better. On the other hand, I didn't care for the proto-Emi story at all. It's a bit too cliche on several fronts, and of course there's a lot of missing context.

[forgetmenot]

At the risk of seven years bad luck for commenting on unfinished work...this is pretty obviously unfinished work. Given that, I can't really give a fair critique of either one. However, I will say that I'm glad neither of these made it into the finished product. While the proto-Rin story could have been Quite Interesting, I think the one we got is better. On the other hand, I didn't care for the proto-Emi story at all. It's a bit too cliche on several fronts, and of course there's a lot of missing context.

I agree. Emi seemed like a bad characterization of herself. Her "revelation" is also horribly trite. I guess early on in the development process, it's to be expected, but damn. Had either of these scenes been incorporated into KS in some form, it would have been a right bloody disaster.

Also, I think proto-Rin's father seems an awful lot like an early version of Jigoro.

[Mahorfeus]

Stories like these only solidify in my mind the idea that KS started out as more of a satire of the romantic VN genre than a heartfelt story more or less grounded in reality.

Of course, the devs could have very well just been fucking with everyone.