Also the Snoozu nickname made me smile.
The only thing that bugged me... isn't Saturday the day with classes in the morning? Sunday should be free, at least that's what KS said.
Other than that, a really nice read.
Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 4/1}
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Nice, first person narrative, yay!
Also the Snoozu nickname made me smile.
The only thing that bugged me... isn't Saturday the day with classes in the morning? Sunday should be free, at least that's what KS said.
Other than that, a really nice read.
Also the Snoozu nickname made me smile.
The only thing that bugged me... isn't Saturday the day with classes in the morning? Sunday should be free, at least that's what KS said.
Other than that, a really nice read.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Who?griffon8 wrote:Wow, it's like KosherBacon came back.
Oh, wait. He probably wouldn't have started with Emi.
Anyway, I look forward to the results.
The Snoozu thing actually came from a KS RP community on I'm a part of. It was originally a typo and people kind of ran with it XDPlague wrote:Nice, first person narrative, yay!
Also the Snoozu nickname made me smile.
The only thing that bugged me... isn't Saturday the day with classes in the morning? Sunday should be free, at least that's what KS said.
Other than that, a really nice read.
And it was Saturday? I knew that there were classes either Saturday or Sunday, but I wasn't sure XD
{if anyone knows if Saturday is when they have classes on the weekends please tell me so
}I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Two having a picnic. Awesome. Be sure to do one with Rin, and of course, the one with the big crowd.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
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LorSquirrel
- Posts: 258
- Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:52 am
- Location: Squirreltopia, Land of the sacred trees.
- Contact:
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
i.....i like.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Thumb(s) up.
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6212
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Yes, classes are on Saturday. Sunday is free like in most countries that are not in the middle east.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
In the Mid-East, Friday is the day off as it's the main day of prayers for Muslims.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Thank you, I had a feeling that I had screwed that upMirage_GSM wrote:Yes, classes are on Saturday. Sunday is free like in most countries that are not in the middle east.
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
-
OtakuNinja
- Posts: 1477
- Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2012 10:42 pm
- Location: Sweden
- Contact:
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Nice chapter, the Snoozu part made me smile.
In Japan, Saturday is the day when school ends after lunch.
In Japan, Saturday is the day when school ends after lunch.
Emibro, Hanabro, [Lilly Lover], Rin Kin, Feminist, Two-timer
(Passively working on my KS YouTube series. Someday...)
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Not the best, I'm tired. But I tried
It's easier to see if you tilt your computer screen a little lower...
It's easier to see if you tilt your computer screen a little lower...
- Attachments
-
- Instead of rescanning eighty times...I replaced .pdf with .jpeg.
- MikiEmi2.jpeg (385.76 KiB) Viewed 5610 times
Last edited by Umber on Fri Mar 08, 2013 3:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
Umber, you're da man/woman. Nice sketch.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/1}
A special shout out/thanks to Umber. Not only is she helping me with ideas/punctuation she's also the reason why Scene 3 became Scenes 3 and 4
Essentially I sent her scene 3, asked for opinions... and well it's now two scenes. When I sent it it was only around 1,800 words. Before the second half was finished it was over 2,500 words. and I like to keep my chapters/scenes shorter for ease of reading. Truth be told, Scenes 3 and 4 are effectively Umber's creation. I sowed the seeds, but they flourished for Umber better than I XD
Scene 3: Sparks
It’s been a few days since the picnic Emi and I had, and I’ve been feeling antsy for some reason. I don’t know why though. I look at the calendar in my room, it’s Friday. Still a day before my outing with Emi. Well I guess I should get dressed for our daily run.
***
I get to the track and see that Emi is already there, stretching out to get ready for the run. I wave to her when she turns my way. She smiles happily.
“Hey Miki. Ready for our run today?”
“You bet. I woke up a little late today but otherwise ready.”
She gives me a slightly annoyed stare.
“Come on Miki, you need to step it up.”
“It was one time!”
“I’m messing with you, silly.” She sticks out her tongue.
“That’s not nice Emi. But we ready for this?”
“Yup. Ready to lose again?”
“Hey!”
Emi takes off ahead of me. I run up so that I’m slightly behind her. She’s always been faster than me, but after her, I’m the fastest runner, so I can keep pace with her a bit easier than others. I take time to pay more attention to her form while running. She’s extremely focused on what’s ahead , her twin tails styled hair streaming close behind. As we go around one of the turns I notice she leans her upper body into the turn while moving her lower body outwards. That must be how she handles the turns so well.
Emi suddenly starts talking, breaking my train of thought.
“So we’ve done ten laps already.” Holy crap, time flies when you’re staring at someone’s ass. “Do you think that’s enough for today?”
“That sounds fine. You’re still beating me as usual.”
“I doubt that will ever change.” She says it in almost a singsong voice. Is she mocking me?
“Not unless I steal your legs.” I jokingly reply.
“Hey, that’s cheating!”
“Now I’m messing with you.” I mimic her way of sticking her tongue out.
“… Jerk”
“Sorry, but y’knew that was coming.”
“Kind of. But it was still mean.” Damn those puppy-dog eyes! It’s like they’ve got some magic that makes you feel bad whenever she does them.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Emi. Can you forgive me?” I do my best impression of her puppy-dog eyes; it seems to work.
“All is forgiven.” She sticks her tongue out and quickly puts it back in “We hitting the showers?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
With this, we head to the dorms. Emi waves goodbye, entering the shower on her dorm's level. I walk up the stairs to my floor and enter the showers myself. A nice warm soak to relax after a run, definitely needed. After I finish I dry myself off, get dressed and head to class.
***
The day went by as they usually do. Suzu falling asleep mid-lecture, Misha and Shizune trying to rope some people into the student council...and me zoning out into the chalkboard. Lots of equations and formulas that I don't understand. I never really liked math, and I'm sure the feeling's mutual. To top it off, Mutou's the teacher I'm stuck with, and while he's a pretty decent guy, his methods aren't all that great.
Neither are his social skills, I note, as he awkwardly tries to converse with Hisao. The man needs to smile more.
Oh hey, is that a smile I see? Maybe --
Nope, even the smile doesn't fit the face. Life is a painful mediator. Proof of point, my stu- Um, wrist. What was I going off on, again? I'm distracting myself from distracting myself. Mutou? No, he's talking to his star pupil, Nakai. God, he loves that kid. It's creepy.
I think it's safe to say Hisao's done well, if you think about how he's spent less time here at Yamaku than most. I may not know why he's here or what he's after, but at least he's got good grades. Maybe I should ask him for help when I get the chance? And by chance, I mean when he's not hanging over his girlfriend's head...Or when she's not hanging over his "head".
Hehe, I made a funny. Not sure if Hisao knows about those rumors, yet. But, as with most things, it'll only take time for the gossip to come to him. But not before Lilly does -- Ah, I should stop there.
The bell rings then, breaking me out of my reverie. Class is done for the day, and many disgruntled students head to their respective rooms to finish their homework. On my way back to my dorm, I surprisingly bump into Rin. Well, more like I’m not paying attention and walk into her while she’s staring at the clouds. Which, apparently, is something normal for her, as she disregards the bump completely. Can you even disregard something you never noticed in the first place?
I take a step back and turn towards her, even if she doesn't do the same herself.
“Sorry about that, Rin. I wasn’t paying attention.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and soon return to their original, emotionless state. It takes her a bit to reply.
“What?” She replies flatly. Yup, Rin hasn’t changed.
“I bumped into you, and I’m apologizing.”
“… You did?” She closes her eyes and nods. “I didn’t notice, really. I was thinking about the clouds.”
That’s definitely Rin.
“Well even so, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She tilts her head as a cloud passes by. Yeah, she’s spaced out.
“I guess I’ll talk to you later?”
“Probably, or maybe not.” she shrugs. “I don’t know.
At this, I wave goodbye. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand her, although I guess I can say she’s a friend of mine. If anything, she's quite the philosopher, a balance to her cheery, over-energetic counterpart. Opposites. Like Yin and Yang. Like psychedelic mushrooms to mushrooms. Whoa there, interesting train of thought, Miki. You should stop.
Taking a peek back down the hallway, it seems as though Rin's empty gaze is still examining the clouds. So this is what a Tezuka does in her natural habitat, watching the sky, reading it as though it was a gripping novel. Maybe as if to find some sort of truth, like the clouds were withholding an answer to a question in the complex of Rin's mind. Or whatever that thing is in her head.
Maybe Emi feels the same way, the brightness in her personality dimming itself for a moment or two during the lunch periods, while the auburn-haired conun -- Conundrum? Cone drum? Nuns?-- person, something, stares at clouds on the rooftop. It's hard to imagine Emi's happiness in any way diluted, but hey, there are things people have to deal with. She's got what's left of her legs, I've got what's left of my...wrist. And Rin, for having no arms, she seems to come across as a person trying to grasp (no pun intended) her brain's problems before her body's. Maybe they've had to help each other cope with stuff, whatever that stuff may be. Emotional stuff, maybe? The past? Ah well, it isn’t my business, and I'm not one to pry over what I don't know.
I manage to get back to my dorm and on my bed, the soft, plush squishy-ness of it all knocking me out in seconds.
Man, this is comfy. Maybe I should add beds to my list of best things after runs, since they seem to work pretty well after class. Showers and beds. Preferably in that order. Could do with a drink, but I'm not complaining. On second thought, making a list was never my thing. I'm not a list-maker type of girl.
After what seemed like a few short minutes in dreamland, the alarm on my nightstand goes off, and the sunlight glaring through the window tells me it's morning.
Seriously?
Welp, that rest didn't last long. Too little, too soon, and I have to go to the track to exercise. What else was I going to do?
Right, Emi. I mean, walking. Walking with Emi. In the park. Our promise. My promise. Right. Right.
Sigh. Rise and shine, Miki.
Essentially I sent her scene 3, asked for opinions... and well it's now two scenes. When I sent it it was only around 1,800 words. Before the second half was finished it was over 2,500 words. and I like to keep my chapters/scenes shorter for ease of reading. Truth be told, Scenes 3 and 4 are effectively Umber's creation. I sowed the seeds, but they flourished for Umber better than I XD
Scene 3: Sparks
It’s been a few days since the picnic Emi and I had, and I’ve been feeling antsy for some reason. I don’t know why though. I look at the calendar in my room, it’s Friday. Still a day before my outing with Emi. Well I guess I should get dressed for our daily run.
***
I get to the track and see that Emi is already there, stretching out to get ready for the run. I wave to her when she turns my way. She smiles happily.
“Hey Miki. Ready for our run today?”
“You bet. I woke up a little late today but otherwise ready.”
She gives me a slightly annoyed stare.
“Come on Miki, you need to step it up.”
“It was one time!”
“I’m messing with you, silly.” She sticks out her tongue.
“That’s not nice Emi. But we ready for this?”
“Yup. Ready to lose again?”
“Hey!”
Emi takes off ahead of me. I run up so that I’m slightly behind her. She’s always been faster than me, but after her, I’m the fastest runner, so I can keep pace with her a bit easier than others. I take time to pay more attention to her form while running. She’s extremely focused on what’s ahead , her twin tails styled hair streaming close behind. As we go around one of the turns I notice she leans her upper body into the turn while moving her lower body outwards. That must be how she handles the turns so well.
Emi suddenly starts talking, breaking my train of thought.
“So we’ve done ten laps already.” Holy crap, time flies when you’re staring at someone’s ass. “Do you think that’s enough for today?”
“That sounds fine. You’re still beating me as usual.”
“I doubt that will ever change.” She says it in almost a singsong voice. Is she mocking me?
“Not unless I steal your legs.” I jokingly reply.
“Hey, that’s cheating!”
“Now I’m messing with you.” I mimic her way of sticking her tongue out.
“… Jerk”
“Sorry, but y’knew that was coming.”
“Kind of. But it was still mean.” Damn those puppy-dog eyes! It’s like they’ve got some magic that makes you feel bad whenever she does them.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry, Emi. Can you forgive me?” I do my best impression of her puppy-dog eyes; it seems to work.
“All is forgiven.” She sticks her tongue out and quickly puts it back in “We hitting the showers?”
“Sounds like a plan.”
With this, we head to the dorms. Emi waves goodbye, entering the shower on her dorm's level. I walk up the stairs to my floor and enter the showers myself. A nice warm soak to relax after a run, definitely needed. After I finish I dry myself off, get dressed and head to class.
***
The day went by as they usually do. Suzu falling asleep mid-lecture, Misha and Shizune trying to rope some people into the student council...and me zoning out into the chalkboard. Lots of equations and formulas that I don't understand. I never really liked math, and I'm sure the feeling's mutual. To top it off, Mutou's the teacher I'm stuck with, and while he's a pretty decent guy, his methods aren't all that great.
Neither are his social skills, I note, as he awkwardly tries to converse with Hisao. The man needs to smile more.
Oh hey, is that a smile I see? Maybe --
Nope, even the smile doesn't fit the face. Life is a painful mediator. Proof of point, my stu- Um, wrist. What was I going off on, again? I'm distracting myself from distracting myself. Mutou? No, he's talking to his star pupil, Nakai. God, he loves that kid. It's creepy.
I think it's safe to say Hisao's done well, if you think about how he's spent less time here at Yamaku than most. I may not know why he's here or what he's after, but at least he's got good grades. Maybe I should ask him for help when I get the chance? And by chance, I mean when he's not hanging over his girlfriend's head...Or when she's not hanging over his "head".
Hehe, I made a funny. Not sure if Hisao knows about those rumors, yet. But, as with most things, it'll only take time for the gossip to come to him. But not before Lilly does -- Ah, I should stop there.
The bell rings then, breaking me out of my reverie. Class is done for the day, and many disgruntled students head to their respective rooms to finish their homework. On my way back to my dorm, I surprisingly bump into Rin. Well, more like I’m not paying attention and walk into her while she’s staring at the clouds. Which, apparently, is something normal for her, as she disregards the bump completely. Can you even disregard something you never noticed in the first place?
I take a step back and turn towards her, even if she doesn't do the same herself.
“Sorry about that, Rin. I wasn’t paying attention.”
Her eyes widen slightly, and soon return to their original, emotionless state. It takes her a bit to reply.
“What?” She replies flatly. Yup, Rin hasn’t changed.
“I bumped into you, and I’m apologizing.”
“… You did?” She closes her eyes and nods. “I didn’t notice, really. I was thinking about the clouds.”
That’s definitely Rin.
“Well even so, I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” She tilts her head as a cloud passes by. Yeah, she’s spaced out.
“I guess I’ll talk to you later?”
“Probably, or maybe not.” she shrugs. “I don’t know.
At this, I wave goodbye. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand her, although I guess I can say she’s a friend of mine. If anything, she's quite the philosopher, a balance to her cheery, over-energetic counterpart. Opposites. Like Yin and Yang. Like psychedelic mushrooms to mushrooms. Whoa there, interesting train of thought, Miki. You should stop.
Taking a peek back down the hallway, it seems as though Rin's empty gaze is still examining the clouds. So this is what a Tezuka does in her natural habitat, watching the sky, reading it as though it was a gripping novel. Maybe as if to find some sort of truth, like the clouds were withholding an answer to a question in the complex of Rin's mind. Or whatever that thing is in her head.
Maybe Emi feels the same way, the brightness in her personality dimming itself for a moment or two during the lunch periods, while the auburn-haired conun -- Conundrum? Cone drum? Nuns?-- person, something, stares at clouds on the rooftop. It's hard to imagine Emi's happiness in any way diluted, but hey, there are things people have to deal with. She's got what's left of her legs, I've got what's left of my...wrist. And Rin, for having no arms, she seems to come across as a person trying to grasp (no pun intended) her brain's problems before her body's. Maybe they've had to help each other cope with stuff, whatever that stuff may be. Emotional stuff, maybe? The past? Ah well, it isn’t my business, and I'm not one to pry over what I don't know.
I manage to get back to my dorm and on my bed, the soft, plush squishy-ness of it all knocking me out in seconds.
Man, this is comfy. Maybe I should add beds to my list of best things after runs, since they seem to work pretty well after class. Showers and beds. Preferably in that order. Could do with a drink, but I'm not complaining. On second thought, making a list was never my thing. I'm not a list-maker type of girl.
After what seemed like a few short minutes in dreamland, the alarm on my nightstand goes off, and the sunlight glaring through the window tells me it's morning.
Seriously?
Welp, that rest didn't last long. Too little, too soon, and I have to go to the track to exercise. What else was I going to do?
Right, Emi. I mean, walking. Walking with Emi. In the park. Our promise. My promise. Right. Right.
Sigh. Rise and shine, Miki.
Last edited by Steinherz on Fri Mar 08, 2013 9:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/8}
Can't wait for next part. But, wow, never thought Miki could talk so much to herself.
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/8}
Thank Umber for thatYZQ wrote:Can't wait for next part. But, wow, never thought Miki could talk so much to herself.
Originally Scene 3 had much less "Miki" thoughts until Umber pointed out that a lot of shit happened fairly quickly, and needed some "breathing room". Enter the massive amount of Miki's thoughts Effectively Scenes 3 & 4 are a dual-authored piece. I wrote up the first draft, Umber refined it (and in my opinion made it far better than I originally wrote it) XD
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
Re: Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 3/8}
Like I said, waiting for it. I just sprinkle some ideas around, and see if they take root .
"Nothing is beneath man. Everything is permitted."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."
"...since love and fear can hardly exist together, if we must choose between them, it is far safer to be feared than loved. However, it is important above all to avoid being hated."