Surprise Visitor

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Oddball
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Surprise Visitor

Post by Oddball »

Another quick little one-shot.



Sometimes Hanako just doesn't show up to class, other times she'll show up late. Today, she just didn't bother coming back from lunch. Maybe it's because I'm still new here and haven't gotten used to it, or maybe it's because I think I might like her more than I care to admit, but it bothers me. It bothers me more knowing that I'm the only one it seems to bother, and while we're on the subject, it also bothers me thinking that I might liker her but not having the slightest idea what she thinks about me. It's a rather lot of bothers now that I think about it.

At least she talks to me. Kind of. If you call that talking. … Well, at least she talks to me more than she does with pretty much every other person in the school , except Lilly, so I guess I have I have that going for me. Still, when she skips classes, I like to check on her. Sometimes she just needs a friend and we play chess together or talk. Sometimes she answers the door and nothing seems to be wrong at all. I suppose she just needs a bit of time to catch her breath so to speak. The worst times are when she just shuts everything out completely and wants to be left alone. I still haven't quite figured out what to do at those times.

I raise my arm to knock on her door, but before I can even do so I hear her. She has a soft voice and it's often hard to hear what she's saying even when she's standing next to me. With the door and the walls muffling her voice, it's even harder. I hear something that sounds like "Hisao-" something-something something that sounds like "come in," and a bit more unintelligible nearly silent mumblings. The rest may be a bit questionable, but I know I heard my name. I just have no idea how she knew I was out here.

Her door knob turns in my hand. That's a good sign. If she really didn't want any company, the door would have been locked. I walk in, gently close the door behind me, and glance around the room to see where she's at. That stops me dead in my tracks. I think to say that she hadn't been expecting company would be a bit of an understatement.

Hanako was lying on her bed, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. Her expression wasn't exactly what caught my eye though. Like I said, her mouth was open slightly. More importantly, so was her shirt. Her black pantyhose had been removed and draped across a chair and her panties were bunched around her left ankle. One hand had disappeared down her skirt, the other was cupped over her left breast. Both moving in a steady constant motion.

… Okay. I'm not having a heart attack. That's good. Just checking.

I stood there watching. I couldn't actually see much of her body, the way she lay, the way her clothes draped over her, and the position of her hands kept those certain areas of her body out of view, but there was no denying what she was doing. I couldn't believe she had actually called me into her room to see her like this.

I waited for her to make a motion or leave an opening signaling me exactly what I should do.

"Hisao…. Mmmm… that feels so good, Hisao" she moaned softly as she continued to pleasure herself.

I uttered her name back in response. "Hanako."

Her eyes shot open in shock and she pulled a blanket over her body. "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" I'd heard her stutter before, but never this badly. It was like she started to speak but somehow got stuck. Finally she managed to finish her sentence "What are you d-doing in m-my room?"

My eyed were wide open starring at her. Well, okay, my eyes had been wide and starring at her since I entered the room, but now it was less of an awe thing and more of a surprise thing. "You invited me. I was about to knock and I heard you say "Hisao, come in."

"T-that wasn't what I said! I s-said --" she stopped in mid sentence, her mouth hanging open for a minute before deciding not to finish that sentence. There was a difference in her tone, she was surprised, shocked, and perhaps even a bit angry. I had never actually heard her speak like this before.

I suppose that makes two tones of voice I'd never heard her use before in the last few minutes.

"G-get out!" she said in a way that somehow managed to sound both weak, dejected and angry at the same time.

"Are you sure you want me to leave? It sounded like you wanted me around for a minute there." That's when a pillow flew across the room and hit me in the face. I got the picture and quickly disappeared out the door, slamming it quickly behind me. I've never actually had anybody fantasize about me before… at least not to my knowledge. It wasn't exactly a bad feeling.

"If it helps I didn't actually see anything," I called back through the door.


"d-don't you DARE tell anyone I d-do things like this" she said back. The tone of her voice lowered and slowed, "while- th- thinking a-about…" her voice trailed away before she finished speaking.


Well, at least I know she likes me. … Now I'll just have to wait and see if she'll ever talk to me again.
Last edited by Oddball on Sun Mar 18, 2012 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Specter Von Baren
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Specter Von Baren »

Oddball wrote:Another quick little one-shot.





Sometimes Hanako just doesn't show up to class, other times she'll show up late. Today, she just didn't bother coming back from lunch. Maybe it's because I'm still new here and haven't gotten used to it, or maybe it's because I think I might like her more than I care to admit, but it bothers me. It bothers me more knowing that I'm the only one it seems to bother, and while we're on the subject, it also bothers me thinking that I might liker her but not having the slightest idea what she thinks about me. It's a rather lot of bothers now that I think about it.

At least she talks to me. Kind of. If you call that talking. … Well, at least she talks to me more than /removed/ she does with pretty much every other person in the school , except Lilly, so I guess I have I have that going for me. Still, when she skips classes, I like to check on her. Sometimes she just needs a friend and we play chess together or talk. Sometimes she answers the door and nothing seems to be wrong at all. I suppose she just needs a bit of /removed/time to catch her breath so to speak. The worst times are when she just shuts everything out completely and wants to be left alone. /removed spaces/I still haven't quite figured out what to do at those times.

I raise my arm to knock on her door, but before I can even do so I hear her. She has a soft voice and it's often hard to hear what she's saying even when she's standing next to me. With the door and the walls muffling her voice, it's even harder. I hear something that sounds like "Hisao-" something-something something, then what sounds like "come in," and a bit more unintelligible nearly silent mumblings. The rest may be a bit questionable, but I know I heard my name. I just have no idea how she knew I was out here.

Her doorknob turns in my hand. That's a good sign. If she really didn't want any company, the door would have been locked. I walk in, gently close the door behind me, and glance around the room to see where she's at. That stops me dead in my tracks. I think to say that she hadn't been expecting company would be a bit of an understatement.

Hanako was lying on her bed, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. Her expression wasn't exactly what caught my eye though. Like I said, her mouth was open slightly. More importantly, so was her shirt. Her black pantyhose had been removed and draped across a chair and her panties were bunched around her left ankle. One hand had disappeared down her skirt, the other was cupped over her left breast. Both moving in a steady constant motion.

… Okay. I'm not having a heart attack. That's good. Just checking.

I stood there watching. I couldn't actually see much of her body, the way she lay, the way her clothes draped over her, and the position of her hands kept those certain areas of her body out of view, but there was no denying what she was doing. I couldn't believe she had actually called me into her room to see her like this.

I waited for her to make a motion or leave an opening signaling me exactly what I should do.

"Hisao…. Mmmm… that feels so good, Hisao" she moaned softly as she continued to pleasure herself.

I uttered her name back in response. "Hanako."

Her eyes shot open in shock and she pulled a blanket over her body. "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" I'd heard her stutter before, but never this badly. It was like she started to speak but somehow got stuck. Finally she managed to finish her sentence "What are you d-doing in m-my room?"

My eyed were wide open starring at her. Well, okay, my eyes had been wide and starring at her since I entered the room, but now it was less of an awe thing and more of a surprise thing. "You invited me. I was about to knock and I heard you say "Hisao, come in."

"T-that wasn't what I said! I s-said --" she stopped in mid sentence, her mouth hanging open for a minute before deciding not to finish that sentence. There was a difference in her tone, she was surprised, shocked, and perhaps even a bit angry. I had never actually heard her speak like this before.

I suppose that makes two tones of voice I'd never heard her use before in the last few minutes.

"G-get out!" she said in a way that somehow managed to sound both weak, dejected and angry at the same time.

"Are you sure you want me to leave? It sounded like you wanted me around for a minute there." That's when a pillow flew across the room and hit me in the face. I got the picture and quickly disappeared out the door, slamming it quickly behind me. I've never actually had anybody fantasize about me before… at least not to my knowledge. It wasn't exactly a bad feeling.

"If it helps I didn't actually see anything," I called back through the door.


"d-don't you DARE tell anyone I d-do things like this" she said back. The tone of her voice lowered and slowed, "while- th- thinking a-about…" her voice trailed away before she finished speaking.


Well, at least I know she likes me. … Now I'll just have to wait and see if she'll ever talk to me again.
Made corrections in blue.
Last edited by Specter Von Baren on Sun Mar 18, 2012 12:38 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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andros414
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by andros414 »

Oddball wrote:Well, at least I know she likes me. … Now I'll just have to wait and see if she'll ever talk to me again.
Best line in the whole one-shot. I lol'd greatly. :lol:
Shizune > Emi = Hanako > Lilly > Rin
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Mealforthree
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Mealforthree »

While we're at it, brits wouldn't say 'have gotten', so it is not necessarily a mistake if the author ain't American. Furthermore, it is 'stared at me', not 'starred'. 'Door knob' is also an acceptable form.

Anyway, lol'd, and the story made me smile.
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Oddball
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Oddball »

Made corrections in blue.
Appreciate it.
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Specter Von Baren
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Specter Von Baren »

Ah yes, and what I first thought of at this point.

"Her eyes shot open in shock and she pulled a blanket over her body. "w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-" "

Image
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FluffandCrunch
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by FluffandCrunch »

Love it, love it, love it!

An interesting change to how the relationship progressed.
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Brogurt
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Brogurt »

your name fits really well with the story being presented
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Roamin12
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Roamin12 »

Not gonna lie....this one made laugh 'till I cried at the end.
First Play through: Lilly>Hanako>Emi>Rin>Shizune
Second Play Through: Hanako>Rin>Lilly>Shizune>Emi
I'm a music enthusiast.
BobBobberson
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by BobBobberson »

Derp. I'm surprised Hanako of all people would forget the first rule of masturbation, LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!
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Oddball
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by Oddball »

BobBobberson wrote:Derp. I'm surprised Hanako of all people would forget the first rule of masturbation, LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!
She's not used to having visitors. :wink:
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nemz
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by nemz »

Well that was interesting. So much delicious awkwardness.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
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emmjay
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Re: Surprise Visitor

Post by emmjay »

BobBobberson wrote:Derp. I'm surprised Hanako of all people would forget the first rule of masturbation, LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!
And next time Hisao swings by Hanako's room, the door has more locks on it than Kenji's.
Okay, this is a prime example of why digging several pages down is a good idea. (Anyone else get the urge to shout, "Rise! Rise from your grave!" when posting in old threads?)
This one made my day. Especially the bit about checking for a heart attack and the last line, which was hilarious. It'd be interesting to see how things progress from here (and how long it takes until the two of them stop going :oops: when they meet.) Let us hope Akira never finds out, they'd never hear the end of it...
And only Hanako could be so adorable right after being caught doing... that.
Yuuko > Akira > Miki > Meiko > Sae.

Some one-shots I've written (Updated 7/29/2017)
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