Numbered Days

WORDS WORDS WORDS

Re: Numbered Days

Postby last man sitting » Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:31 pm

Goddamn this is a good read. Groundhog day, my favourite movie ever + Katawa shoujo my favourite/only VN ever!

Only one question though:

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?
last man sitting
 

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Leotrak » Sun Jun 27, 2010 6:44 pm

last man sitting wrote:Goddamn this is a good read. Groundhog day, my favourite movie ever + Katawa shoujo my favourite/only VN ever!

Unfortunately, I didn't write this with Groundhog Day in mind at all. I actually needed kosher to remind me of what Groundhog Day was about -_-"

last man sitting wrote:Only one question though:

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?!?


Why, I am so glad you asked! -This- is what happens next!
================================================


=======Chapter 6=======
"Sixth Sense"

The rest of the afternoon is spent pouring over every moment of my single week at Yamaku. I'm not surprised to find out that everything, quite literally every little thing, is the same. Monday's introduction yes or no. Tuesday's meetings with Lilly and Hanako. The shopping trip on friday. Saturday afternoon spent either in town or at the library. I also fill them in on where I am when not with Lilly or Hanako. The friday morning stay in the Nurse's office earns me another worried glance from both girls, though Lilly's doesn't last long. I'm not entirely sure if Hanako stopped looking worried yet or not. Lastly, I go over this week's events, also mentioning how Shizune has shown signs of remembering, yet refuses to admit as much. This is met with a soft hmmm from Lilly, but no other comments are made on it.

By the time we're finished, the sun is starting to set, and I can feel my stomach announcing itself empty again. There's still a question burning in my mind that demands answering before I go stuff my face. I think it over a little while longer, and the room goes quiet as Hanako and Lilly are deep in thought as well.

"So there's just one more thing I'd like to know," I start.
"H-how to end this?"
"Well, that too... Okay, two more things."
Lilly giggles a moment before asking, "Which would be?"
"Who decided it was time to find out if I knew what was going on?"
Lilly smiles a little wryly. "That would be Hanako. Which was a complete surprise, I must say."
Blinking, I stare at Hanako, and she actually snorts a little when she looks at my face. I probably looked real funny to her right there and then, being as surprised as I was. She quickly looks away, her face turning an impressive shade of red once more. She really is way too cute like that.

"I-I was just g-getting a little frustrated with a-all of.. this. So I wanted t-to see if I could change things." She looks at me a little afraid again, saying "B-but I h-had no idea you'd c-collapse like that! I-I'm really sorry, Hisao..." I hold up my hand to stave off any more apologies.
"That's true. You didn't know I'd collapse like that. No one but me could have known that, and even I didn't see it coming. Um, I mean.." Now it's Lilly's turn to forestall me.
"Hisao, I believe I have told you before that you do not have to change your speech on my account," she says with a slightly exasperated smile.
"Right. What I meant to say is... Hanako, you have nothing to apologize for. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be a mini-me in the back of my own mind."

Both girls look at me with confused expressions when I say that. Oh yeah, I never mentioned how I was experiencing everything. I rub at my eyes before saying, "Sorry, I didn't tell you that part." I pause, then, considering. "And... I'm not sure I really want to talk about that right now, either." Their expressions don't change, though, and Hanako is starting to frown again. Great, I made her worry again.

"I'm afraid I have to insist that you explain yourself this time, Hisao. Your words to assuage Hanako cause me no small amount of worry. Knowing Hanako, she herself is probably quite troubled, as well." I can see what Lilly means by that all too well.

Leaning back in my chair, I sigh tiredly, feeling frustrated again. I'm not sure why I'm reluctant to tell them this part. I don't think it's as crazy as living in a timeloop, so that shouldn't be a problem for Lilly and Hanako. Maybe it's because of how my emotions disappeared. I still haven't come to terms with all of those yet. Most importantly, how I feel about them. How could I ever justify having fallen for five different girls? Well, at least I won't have to worry about Rin being hurt, or wanting justification. Emi I do have to worry about. Shizune doesn't even want to admit something is going on. There's actually a good chance I won't have to worry about any more student council hijinks this time.

When my mind returns to Hanako and Lilly, it also returns to what Lilly asked me to explain. It also makes me realize they've been staring at me in silence for a while now. Lilly's expression is even starting to show signs of frustration. That it's even showing is telling in itself. The fact that she hasn't said anything yet goes to tell just how much self-restraint she has. Hanako is still looking at me worriedly.

Should I tell them? Should I try to explain having had two separate minds, of which only one knew what was going on? And how would they take it? I know Lilly keeps telling me not to worry about how they think of me, but having lived in the back of my own mind seems like a pretty big deal, even if it isn't as mind-blowing as living through the same events for thousands of times. I look away from them again, and take a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, you two, but I can't. Not yet, anyway. So please wait a little longer for an explanation on this." I stand up while I'm saying this, and when the last word leaves my mouth, I take my bag and head for the door. "I'll see you two tomorrow. Good night, and again, I'm sorry for not telling you right away."

I can practically feel Lilly's frown burning into my back when she sighs and says, "Alright, Hisao. Good night." Hanako doesn't say a thing, and I don't look back when I close the door behind me.

I arrive at the staircase moments later, and it's there that I find out I don't know where I want to go. I could go to the roof and watch the sun set. Or I could go to my dorm room, maybe doing the homework I've done so many times before will be distracting enough. My stomach, however, decides it needs to be filled. Cafeteria it is, then. And to think, I could've had dinner with two cute girls tonight, if not for that mini-me remark. Damn my mouth.

Dinner in the cafeteria proves as unappetizing as breakfast. I suppose I could go shopping tonight. There's plenty of time until curfew, and at least I could have some decent food for the rest of the week. I check my wallet more out of habit than needing to know there's just enough money in it. Leaving my tray where I'm supposed to leave it, I head to town.

My shopping trip went by uneventfully, and I arrive at my dorm room loaded with food. I think I might have gotten a bit too much. As I struggle to get out my key, the door opposite mine suddenly opens, and I nearly have another heart attack when Kenji grips my shoulder and swings me around, foodstuffs going every which way.

"Ow! What the he-" He hushes me almost immediately.
"Where were you?"
"The town. I needed food."
"I meant this afternoon."
Oh. "That doesn't matter." Telling him I was talking with two cute girls all afternoon will only launch him into another tirade.
"It does matter, man! The Feminists are on the move! They're employing psychological warfare!"

I blink at him. I'm not sure if he can even see me blinking, but I blink three or four times more before I finally say, "What?"

I'm really proving to be a very eloquent person this week.

"They're attacking our minds, man!" Kenji starts to rave. He finally lets go of my shoulder, but the arm gestures he makes nearly send his own glasses flying a few times. "I don't know yet how they did it, but they must have done it somehow, because I can't think of any other way my memories could have been tampered with." He stands tall, hands on his hips, chest forward, before making his next statement. "The Feminists have found a way to implant memories into other people's minds."

Well, at least I was half right about him.

"Wait, slow down, man. I have no idea what you're talking about."
He fingers his scarf nervously. "So it's only me they've targeted... This is troubling. Damn. They must know I'm on to them. That I'm on to their ploys. I need to prepare. I'll have to put my plans for a fort into motion now. Ha! That'll probably throw them off, finding me in my fort today instead of on sunday!" He looks especially smug when he says that. His mention of sunday confirms it for me, though - even Kenji remembers. Not that he'd be of any use in figuring this out, of course.

Nodding to himself, he turns back to me, putting a hand on my shoulder again. "Hisao, you're a good man. I pray that they will never tamper with your mind, like they have with mine. Now, the time has come."
"The time for what?"
"Making my fort of course! Haven't you been listening?"
"Right. Of course. Good luck."
"Thanks, man. Watch your back." And he finally returns to his room, the tell-tale clicking of a dozen locks following in the next couple of moments.

Sighing, I look around the hallway, seeing my food strewn across it. I open my door first, and dump the things I'm still holding on my desk first, then go back out and pick the rest of it up. None of the stuff I bought needs to be stored in a cooler, which is good, because I don't have one. So I just dump everything on the floor of my closet. I'll sort it out tomorrow.

I figure I should at least make sure Mutou doesn't have any more reason to become angry with me, so homework is next. By the time I think I'm done, it's completely dark outside. And when I look to see what I've actually done, I find out I've done my homework for the rest of the week. Well, that's one less thing to worry about.

I decide this is a good a time as any to turn in for the night. I consider going to the track tomorrow morning, but after a moment in which I gingerly examine the lump on my head, I decide it's better for my health not to.
=====================================
Shock! Drama! Kenji! Oh, how will this ever turn out for the better!

Stay tuned 8)
Last edited by Leotrak on Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:38 am, edited 1 time in total.
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
User avatar
Leotrak
 
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity

Re: Numbered Days

Postby neumanproductions » Sun Jun 27, 2010 6:54 pm

Leotrak wrote:
last man sitting wrote:Goddamn this is a good read. Groundhog day, my favourite movie ever + Katawa shoujo my favourite/only VN ever!

Unfortunately, I didn't write this with Groundhog Day in mind at all. I actually needed kosher to remind me of what Groundhog Day was about -_-"

Oh come on, no reference to my Groundhog Day and School Days cross reference on the last page. Psychopathic endings always make for an interesting topic, especially the lets choke her to death in "yume miru kusuri".
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
Fanfic series entitled... A Day in the Life of [character name here] (updated 6/8/10)
Random writings and Crossover... New stuff of Neuman (updated 5/6/11)
It's time to Duel... KS Yugioh Deck (updated 3/16/11)
User avatar
neumanproductions
 
Posts: 859
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:58 pm
Location: In the land of the Cheeseheads

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Leotrak » Tue Jul 06, 2010 4:54 pm

Aww, no comments? Sadness :(

Anyway, this is still a work in progress. Don't worry, you'll eventually see the end. Yes, before KS will be released, unless the Devs suddenly pull a fast one on me and release it tomorrow (please let them pull the fast one O.O)

Anyway! Enjoy! And for the love of fanfic, comment O.O

==================================================

=======Chapter 7=======
"Seventh Heaven"

My plans to sleep in a little today are rudely disrupted by a loud knocking noise, coming from the general direction of my door. Groaning, I peek at my alarm, which cheerily tells me it's only twenty minutes past six in the morning. I'd be able to figure out who was knocking by just that, if I had been allowed to wake up naturally. With a sigh, and a half-shouted "I'm coming, I'm coming!" I get up to open the door.

On the other side of which I find Emi glaring at me. You'd think she had done enough of that yesterday to last her a lifetime. I just rub at my face, trying to vanquish the drowsiness, before asking, "What is it, Emi?"
"You're supposed to be at the track, mister!"
"So you can tackle me again? No thanks." Oh, that came out a little nastier than I intended.

Emi actually takes a step back at that, and her glare melts away, to make place for a genuine expression of hurt. She fidgets for a moment, then says, "Look, I'm really, really sorry about yesterday, but I was-"
"I don't want to hear any excuses, Emi. You know what's wrong with me, and you still crashed headlong into my chest. I'm trying to survive this mess, which is why I asked you not to run into me in the halls." Maybe a little sternness will help. It's against my nature, and those eyes are making it even harder, but if I didn't say this now, it might never work.

The short girl flinches several times during my speech, and the hallway is quiet for several minutes after I'm finished talking. Silent except for the sound of a legblade shuffling over the carpet. There's a few moments where she visibly attempts to say something, but so far, she shrank back without making a sound each time. Eventually, she turns towards me, and bows down.

And in a very small voice, she says, "I'm really sorry, Hisao. Really, really sorry. I promise I won't run into you again from now on. Please don't be mad at me?" She keeps her head lowered when she stops talking, and I'd actually like to let her feel the silence a little while longer, but I can't help myself. I let out a sigh, and start to close the door, saying, "I'll get changed."

Two minutes later, I open the door again, to find Emi standing there with her usual cheerful demeanor. With a loud "Yay!", she attempts to throw herself at me, but I raise my hand just in time to catch her face from smashing into my chest again. "Emi. Chest. Careful." She says something in response, but the sound is muffled by my hand. I'll just take it as an apology this time.

Emi then takes my hand in both of hers, and shifts it to the side of her face. With her eyes closed, she rubs her cheek in the palm of my hand, the most blissful expression on her face. I can feel the blood rushing to my cheeks in response. Again, I must've made some sort of noise, because Emi opens one eye slightly, then grins a most victorious smile, and finally lets my hand go again.

"Ready, Hisao?"
"Y-yeah, all set."
"Great! Let's go!"

I swear, these girls are going to be the death of me yet.

The morning run happens without any further incidents, though Emi was holding her arms a little weird. When we're done, I actually feel content with myself. Or, well, when I'm done. Emi stays on the field to 'finish her routine', however many laps that entails. Deciding to try and avoid Kenji this time, I force myself to take a quick shower, but to no avail - Kenji enters the showers just when I'm done.

"Sup?"
"Oh, hi Kenji." I try to make it clear that I'm trying to hurry out, but it's pointless as ever.
He frowns suddenly, and says, "Where were you, man? I've been looking all over the place."
"What do you mean, 'all over the place'?" I'm just praying at this point that he'll make it quick. I'm in no mood for his usual thursday morning rant.
"You know, your room, and... Yeah, that's it. Hey, I mean, I still had to get up, though. Whatever, It's not important. Can I borrow some money?" His attempts at an innocent face and casual look never fooled me. I mean, did he ever really expect that to work, anyway?
"What do you need it for?"
"Ehhhh..." He frowns for a moment, then smiles. "Can't you just give it to me because I had the good will not to run through your pockets while you were in the shower? I could have, but I exercised restraint. And in the end, isn't it the thought that counts? Come on, be a pal."
"Rifling my pockets would've been pointless, anyway. I don't carry my wallet with me when I go running. Besides, you would only have had seconds to check them."

He looks at me for a long moment. Or at least, in my general direction. And I think he's actually blinking.
"Why would you go running? No, wait, who did you run with?"
"I'm trying to get in to shape, and I ran with Emi."
"Aieeeeeeeeee!" Fortunately, his abject scream of terror only makes me cringe this time. Man, that hurt my eardrums.
"Her! What the hell is wrong with you, man? Do you know who you're dealing with? She's a public health danger! Do you know how many people she sends to the hospital monthly with her carefully placed flying tackles?"
"Well, I could hazard a gu-" He doesn't let me finish my half-hearted attempt at a joke.
"She's one of them! A key player in the vast conspiracy that aims for the complete submission of everything that is manly! I can't believe what I'm hearing. I trusted in your judgement, man. I thought we were brothers. you have to stop this before it's too late."
"And lose a perfectly good opportunity to stay healthy? No way, man. Besides, if I'm not in shape, who's going to be there to back you up?"
He ponders this for a moment. "Hm. Maybe you're on to something here. Infiltrating their ranks like this would be most unexpected." Kenji's response, however, is very much expected. Maybe I can get out of borrowing him the money this time.

"So can I have the money?" So much for that happy thought.
"Ugh, fine. How much?"
"1000 yen."
"I thought it-" Wait, no, he didn't say 400 yen this time. Dammit, he got me. "Fine. I'll slip it under your door when I head to class if I don't see you again before then."
"Awesome. Thanks, dude. We should go bowling later on."
"Sounds like a plan. You had better pay me back that money, though."
"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhgggggggggghhhhhh......" Damn, I thought I'd avoided that one. "You're not supposed to be so tight assed about money between brothers in arms, man. Men have it bad enough as it is." I manage to cut him off before he goes on about porn stars this time.
"Maybe if I'd been a rich man, but my allowance is low enough as it is already, and I need enough of it for food already."
"Fine. I can pay you back in stuff, right?"
"I'd rather you didn't." There's no telling what kind of crap he'd try pawning off to me. "Also, you have one week."
He seems to be glaring at me now, but whether it's because of the time limit or the interruption, I can't tell.
"Well, if you're going to be that rude about it, fine. Now, the time has come."
"For another fort?"
"Don't be silly, I just like saying that."
Right. "I'll be going then."
"Remember to spot me the money, man."
"Don't worry, just be sure to pay me back later on." And I manage to get out of the shower without having heard a rant about feminist conspiracies. Small victories.

After I get dressed, I make myself a simple breakfast, and since I have a some spare time, a little less simple lunch. Of course, this means I barely manage to enter the classroom before the bell rings, for which Mutou decides to tell me, "Glad you decided to join us today, Nakai." I mumble something in response, and quickly take my seat.

Then I remember what else I missed this morning - Lilly and Shizune facing off about some form. For some reason, though, Misha and Shizune seem none too pleased, and Shizune is actually sending angry glares to the back of the class when Mutou isn't looking. Blinking, I look to where the class rep is glaring, soon as I'm sure Mutou won't see.

To find Hanako sitting in her seat. She's seemingly shrinking back from Shizune's gaze, but when she sees me looking at her, she gives me a small wave, and when I respond in kind, a relieved smile. I smile back at her a second, then return my gaze forward, pretending to pay attention to class. I'll have to ask her why Shizune was behaving like this during lunchtime. Misha ignores me completely this time around, which probably means Shizune isn't paying me any heed either. I guess this could count as another small victory, all things considered, but getting a cold shoulder from Shizune still bothers me.

I'm glad Hanako smiled at me, though. It means yesterday was less of an issue than I feared it might be. Now I just hope Lilly won't resent me for it, either. I guess I'll find out during lunch today. I hope.

So when the bell rings, I join Hanako at her desk, doing my best to ignore the heated glares coming from the student council. I'm starting to think I prefer the icy ones. In order to prevent more glares, I quickly suggest to Hanako, "How about we go find Lilly now?" A slight emphasis on 'now' to indicate that the sooner we leave, the better.
"S-sure." Another smile. That had better become a habit of hers.

When we get to Lilly's classroom, most of the students are still there, apparently discussing the festival plans. There's no way to get inside or to get Lilly's attention without disrupting that, so we decide to wait outside.

Fifteen minutes pass before people start filing out. I let out a small groan and a whispered "Finally." Not quiet enough, since Hanako immediately giggles softly. I give her a grin, and as soon as there's room to walk, we enter the classroom.

Lilly is the last one there, appearing to be sorting through some things. We walk up to her and I give her a cheery "Hello" to make myself known.
Smiling, she turns towards us. "Hisao? And is that Hanako with you?"
"Y-yes, Lilly, it's us," Hanako responds while walking past me to Lilly's side.
"We figured we'd try and pry you out of here for some lunch," I say, holding up my own before once more realizing how futile that is.
Letting out a small sigh, Lilly answers, "Would it pose much of a problem if we were to have it here today? I'm afraid the festival rush leaves me with little time to enjoy proper meals."
"No problem here."
"I-it's fine with me."

Hanako and I quickly put some desks together, and while Hanako guides Lilly to a seat, I set out our lunches. The next several minutes pass in silence as we all eat. When I've finished my food, I decide it's high time to find out what happened this morning.

"Shizune looked awfully angry this morning, Hanako. Any idea what might have caused that?" My seemingly innocent question drags forth a huge blush from Hanako, but at the same time, that little smug smile I saw this morning. She keeps her mouth firmly shut, though.
Lilly seems hard-pressed to keep her amusement to herself this time, and after another minute of silence, bursts out laughing. Hanako blushes even more at this, and I'm left feeling very, very confused. And before I can get an answer out of either of them, the bell rings, and we're forced to pack up.

Before Hanako and I leave, Lilly says, "I'm sorry, Hisao, I promise we will tell you what happened later today. Therefore, please come to my class as soon as lessons end." And with a wave and a smile, Hanako and I return to classroom 3-3, the girl still blushing, and me almost as confused as when I'd passed out on tuesday...
=======================================================
Now what did Hisao happen to miss out on this morning?

Stay tuned 8)
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
User avatar
Leotrak
 
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity

Re: Numbered Days

Postby kosherbacon » Tue Jul 06, 2010 10:14 pm

Well, I'm intrigued. And pleased. Shizune is pissed, Emi was put in her place, and the manliest man of all men in the history of macho showed up.
User avatar
kosherbacon
 
Posts: 904
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:30 pm
Location: San Jose, CA, USA

Re: Numbered Days

Postby neumanproductions » Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:41 pm

As I said before, i'm calling some crazy Hanako sticking up for Lilly instead of the measly little Hisao comments from the actual story line.

By the way kosher, love the new addition to your sig.
Rin=Hanako>Emi>Misha>Lilly>Shizune (Misha counts in my world alright; and now she surpassed Lilly)
Fanfic series entitled... A Day in the Life of [character name here] (updated 6/8/10)
Random writings and Crossover... New stuff of Neuman (updated 5/6/11)
It's time to Duel... KS Yugioh Deck (updated 3/16/11)
User avatar
neumanproductions
 
Posts: 859
Joined: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:58 pm
Location: In the land of the Cheeseheads

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Hoopa » Tue Jul 06, 2010 11:56 pm

Awesome story! I really like what you've done with the time loop thing, and everything. More please!
Hoopa
 
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:54 pm
Location: Up north in the U.S

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Leotrak » Sat Jul 17, 2010 3:59 pm

Why, yes, I'm still working on this "little" piece! And yes, I'm a little bit slow lately, but I have every intention to finish this, so bear with me 8)

Now, kick back, and have a good read! Commentaries/criticisms/love confessions welcome as always!

====================================

=======Chapter 8=======
"Eighth Turning Point"


Afternoon classes seem to pass at a slow crawl, and I have to suppress a yawn several times. Damn you, Emi, I needed that sleep. She'll likely come knocking at my door tomorrow morning, too, if I don't show up on the track field. So much for getting any good rest this week anymore.

When the final bell finally rings, I've half dozed off. I don't notice people have been filing out until I feel something touch the back of my head. No, wait, that's someone's hand playing with my hair. Huh, that actually doesn't feel bad, either. I smile, and turn around, looking straight at Hanako's chest.

Oops. I immediately correct where my eyes are looking, hoping she doesn't notice my blush. I also sit up straighter, before saying, "Hi." Really, Hisao, could you be any more lame?
"H-hi." Thank god she's not looking at me right now. "W-want to go to Lilly?" She looks over her shoulder at the doorway, where the student council is currently having a heated conversation with some people from another class.
"Let's wait until they're done," I suggest, to which Hanako nods, looking a little relieved even.

A few minutes later, Shizune and Misha leave the classroom, probably heading for the student council office. I'm glad they didn't return here, somewhat. At least it gives us a chance to slip out together without their stares. So before they have a chance to return, Hanako and I make our way to Lilly's class, keeping an eye out for any errant student council members wandering the hallways.

When we enter the class, it's a little busier than I'm used to. Of course, we're here a little earlier, too. We walk right up to Lilly, who smiles as she hears us coming.
"Hisao? Hanako?"
"Yeah, it's us."
"Wonderful," she says, and a little softer, "I believe I will not have to explain what I would like you two to help on?"
I roll my eyes, futile as ever, and respond, "Helping Kenji with that banner, right?"
"We're on i-it," Hanako quickly affirms, drawing another smile from Lilly.

Kenji has just barely started on the text when we join him. As usual, he doesn't take note of us until I call out to him twice.
"Kenji."
"Huh? What? Who is it?"
"It's me, Hisao. From the-"
"Right, right. I know that, man. What're you doing here, though?"
"We were just going to help with the banner." And it wouldn't hurt you to actually appreciate that, would it?
"We?" Oh, right.
"Me and Hanako."
"H.. Hello."
"Oh. Er, hey. I guess that's okay." I still wonder how he does it, changing his demeanor so quickly.
"So, you guys selling noodles at the festival on sunday?"
"Yeah, some stalls outside. Or something." At least try to show some interest?
"So how do you want to split this? We do borders while you do the text? Or do you want to sw-"
"Text is mine. You do borders." Right, how could I forget.

Right when I'm about to start, Kenji leans closer to me conspirationally. "Okay man, why're you here?"
"I'm infiltrating their ranks. Didn't I tell you that this morning?" Actually, that was all his idea, but I might as well make use of it.
"I get it. Going deep undercover?"
"Is that why you're here?"
"Obviously. It sucks, but there's no better way to get intel than going in yourself." He frowns at his own words. "We gotta stick together, man. This is a harsh school, a harsh world."
"Yes, very harsh." As always, he completely misses my true meaning, and leans back with the usual air of satisfaction.

The pattern Hanako paints is a little more intricate than other times, but having done this as often as I have, following it is relatively easy. I don't really notice what exactly is different until I reach the middle of the cloth banner - she's been adding little hearts into the borders, every couple of inches. I blink a few times, and compare my work to hers. I've matched what she's done as perfectly as I can with my crude painting skills. The little hearts are no mistake on my part. I look at her face while she's working on the next section, and when she paints in another little heart, I can see her smiling and blushing.

Then she steals a glance my way, and ends up looking me right in the eyes.

Both of us sit perfectly still for a while, staring at each other, and both of us slowly, very slowly turning more red. It's like her blush is increasing my own, and the other way around too. It's not until Kenji says, "Move over, I gotta work on this end" that I realize where I am. I let out an embarrassed cough, break eye contact with Hanako, then hurriedly move out of Kenji's way. Hanako quickly returns to painting the borders, looking mortified. Not knowing what else I could do, I do the same.

Thankfully, when our work reaches each other on the other side, there's no heart in the middle. There were only really a handful of them to begin with. Still, I wonder why she put them there.
"Finished," Hanako says with a small bit of pride in her voice.
"Here too. Good work."
"Almost done, too." Kenji's nose is still only an inch from the paper as he fills in the last kanji. It leaves me to wonder how he didn't get any paint on his face at all.

Leaving Kenji to finish, we make our way to Lilly, who's still standing at the front of the classroom. "We're done, Lilly. Kenji almost is."
"Ah, good. Thank you two ever so much." If Kenji could see that smile on her face right now, even he would have no trouble doing whatever was needed to help bring it out more. Then again, maybe not.

"So, can you two tell me what-" Hanako suddenly goes rigid and stares at me wide-eyed, freezing me mid-sentence. Oh, right, those little hearts. I think I better ask Hanako about those when Lilly is not around, if she's going to respond like this. I quickly give her a nod and what I hope passes for a reassuring smile. It seems to have worked as Hanako visibly relaxes a little.

"Tell you what, Hisao?"
"Ah, sorry, Lilly. You two still didn't get much of a chance to tell me what got the student council president so riled up this morning."
At this, Hanako's face once again turns an impressive shade of red. Lilly lets out a very amused giggle before saying, "Hanako did."
And again, I stare at Hanako, and blink a few dozen times before saying, "What did you do?"
Blushing even harder, Hanako mumbles something unintelligible. Lilly decides to take over at this point.
"She stood up for me when miss Hakamichi started pressing me for the budget forms early this morning."
"That's not enough to keep receiving angry glares throughout class, though. How, exactly, did Hanako stand up for you?"

Hanako just keeps turning more red. Lilly giggles again, oblivious to this detail. "Hanako had expressed her desire to accompany me to your classroom today, in order to witness miss Hakamichi's attempts to make me lose control. However, just before our little duel with words occurred, Hanako spoke up in my defence. She was quite impressive, I must say. And quite vehement."

Every word of Lilly's makes me wish I hadn't taken so long in preparing my lunch this morning. All the while, I keep staring at Hanako with an expression that's somewhere between disbelief and pure admiration. At least, I think that's what my face is showing. Hanako decided to bury her face in her hands at this point, so she doesn't notice a thing, and Lilly is smiling proudly in her direction.

After a couple moments of silence, Kenji suddenly says, "I'm finished." Woops, forgot he was here. Judging by Lilly's expression, though, she hadn't.
"Ah, thank you, Kenji. Will you be joining the others for dinner?"
"Nah. See ya."
"See ya, Kenji," I say and wave in his direction, which goes completely unnoticed. When he walks out of the room, I turn back to Hanako, who seems to have taken this time to calm herself down a little, and ask, "So, what did you say to the student council president?"

At first, I still can't make out a word of what she's saying, but her voice picks up in volume quickly. I've never heard her stutter this much, though. "W-when she w-was c-calling L-Lilly out o-on that m-missing f-f-form, h-her face w-was s-so a-annoying. T-that's w-what I t-told h-her." She takes a shuddering breath, and shows me a satisfied smile. "T-the l-look on h-her f-face was p-priceless."
"But that was not everything you said to her, Hanako," Lilly chides her friend.
I notice Hanako's begun burying her face in her hands again, so say, "I don't think Hanako's going to do any more talking about this."

Smiling wryly, Lilly takes over for her. "Very well. Hanako made some well-placed comments on the president's behavior towards me. I believe that stunned both student council members into silence, perhaps more because of the source of those words than the words themselves." Lilly's smile grows smug again. "That silence allowed our dear Hanako to keep her momentum. She went on to berate miss Hakamichi and miss Mikado for their methods of recruitment, using a few examples that you so kindly gave us yesterday. After that, she berated them for pressuring me for being late to turn in something that would obviously take me and my class much more time to finish than a person with their eyesight intact. I do believe silence never felt more satisfying than this morning."

Lilly allows me to feel a hint of how good that silence must have felt before continuing, frowning for a moment. "Miss Mikado then directed her attention on Hanako's attendance record, and demanded to know what she had been doing to assist in festival preparations." Lilly smiles at Hanako again before giving the shy girl's response to that. "About the festival preparations, Hanako firmly told them that she has been assisting my class, which I of course confirmed. And on the matter of her attendance record..." Lilly's smile almost turns feral this time, and the satisfaction in her voice would give anyone pause. "Hanako very deftly turned the matter of her attendance around by vividly throwing the student council's trips to the Shanghai in their faces. Which resulted in another period of silence, before miss Mikado and miss Hakamichi both stormed out of the classroom."

And after having heard the entire tale retold, Hanako chimes in with, "T-they only r-returned m-moments before y-you did, Hi-Hisao..." I had no idea Hanako was capable of pulling off a smug smile too.

I take a few moments to mull over everything Lilly and Hanako just told me, but I can't help it. I begin snickering almost immediately, and before long, I'm laughing loud enough to be heard in the hallway. Just imagine it. Shy, quiet Hanako, facing off against the student council, and winning!

After a while, I manage to say, "I wish I'd been there to see that."
Hanako gives me a soft smile, and responds with, "M-maybe next time..."
I give her a grin, then say to them both, "How about we go for dinner ourselves?"
"A sound idea, Hisao. Please follow me."

Following Lilly brings us to the girls' dorms, where our guide asks us to wait outside a moment. It's a good thing the air hasn't cooled down much yet. Hanako doesn't seem to agree with my opinion about the temperature, as she moves closer to me the further Lilly walks into the dorms. And when Lilly is out of sight, Hanako is hugging my arm again. It's impossible to see her expression in the limited light coming from the dorms, even if she wasn't hiding her face behind her hair.

I say nothing of her advances, but I can feel my heart speeding up. Even more so when she tightens her grip, and the thin fabric of our school uniform shirts does nothing to hide the soft feel of her-

My face turns red fast, and I cut that thought short, but not without making an embarrassed little cough. Hanako giggles softly at that, and thankfully loosens her hold of my arm a little. She slowly turns towards me with her head still lowered, and starts to talk. "Y-you know, Hisao... I'm a l-little jealous of Emi. S-she got to hold you close like t-this first. I c-can tell you didn't do m-more than hold her yet. B-but I want t-to be the first to g-give you this..."

In what feels like a split second, her arms shift from my arm to around my neck, her hair falls back as she brings her face close to mine, and her lips touch mine in what has to be the most delicate kiss in all of history.
======================================
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
User avatar
Leotrak
 
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Mirage_GSM » Sat Jul 17, 2010 7:17 pm

Commentary:
I'm glad to see this story continues. By now the continuity they lived through so often is probably completely ruined, so it feels almost like a "normal" Fanfic - but only almost...

Criticism:
That's a hard one... Grammar is top, characters are spot on... The only thing I can come up with is "too short", but I'll take a short chapter over waiting for a longer one.

Love confession:
Nope, sorry :D
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.

Sore wa himitsu desu.
User avatar
Mirage_GSM
 
Posts: 4326
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
Location: Germany

Re: Numbered Days

Postby kosherbacon » Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:44 am

Seeing Hanako grow some balls and stick up for anything is always amusing.
User avatar
kosherbacon
 
Posts: 904
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2009 7:30 pm
Location: San Jose, CA, USA

Re: Numbered Days

Postby darrin » Mon Jul 19, 2010 4:02 pm

Leotrak wrote:Why, yes, I'm still working on this "little" piece!
Wah, I already liked this when it was just Groundhog Day-ish, and now it is Groundhog Day plus Umi no Misaki! I don't know if this counts as a confession, but I am certainly loving this series.

My only criticism would be that the whole bit around this:
I look at her face while she's working on the next section, and when she paints in another little heart, I can see her smiling and blushing.

turned my brain into a lump of granulated sugar. Not sure that a medical problem on my part would count as literary criticism though.
Terminally Hanako-smitten
darrin
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Tue Jun 23, 2009 12:58 pm

Re: Numbered Days

Postby idner » Mon Aug 16, 2010 5:56 pm

looking good bro! couldn't stop reading :D
User avatar
idner
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:09 pm

Re: Numbered Days

Postby Leotrak » Mon Aug 23, 2010 9:16 am

Yes, this is still in the works, don't worry. It's just taking me a lot longer to write chapters now that I'm past the halfway point... Sorry about that!

This ended up a little shorter than I hoped... Maybe the next one will be longer >_>

Now gimme the usual to show your love (or hate) for this story :D

==========================================================

=======Chapter 9=======
"Ninth Subtle Hint"

The rest of the evening went by in a blur that lasted until I fell asleep. I know we had dinner in front of the dorms, and I'm guessing Hanako let me go somewhere between the start of that kiss and Lilly's return. Had I put my arms around her too? I'm not too sure of how much I ate, or whether Lilly said anything about that, but judging by my stomach now, it was enough. I hope. We parted ways after we were done cleaning up. I think. We probably did. But that's as much as I can remember. Hanako's actions of just before Lilly's return kept playing through my mind like a broken record. I'm not even sure anymore about how long that kiss lasted.

Damn my memory for failing me now, after having stored everything else up to now perfectly.

I'm woken up again by someone knocking on my door. For a moment I'm afraid it's suddenly only the thursday that's going into a loop, but when I check the time, it's exactly six in the morning, opposed to yesterday's twenty past six. Groaning, I get up to see who's here this early.

"Good morning, Hisao!" Emi's cheerful and slightly too loud greeting grates on my eardrums.
"Oh, hi Emi." I let out a yawn to show how tired I still am.
"What, you're not changed yet? It's time for our run, you know," she says with a slightly accusatory pout. Damnable pout.
"Right, right. Give me a minute." I close the door, and take three minutes to get changed, all the while thinking about Hanako. I put on my shirt the wrong way twice because of it.

When I open the door again, Emi gives me a glare. "That was more than a minute!"
"Yeah, yeah, sorry about that. Still sleepy." I yawn again.
"Didn't set your alarm again, huh? It's a good thing I came to pick you up, then," she half-gloats with a victory smile that would almost put Shizune to shame. Almost.
"If you say so. Shall we?" Emi gives me a big grin, then dashes down the hallway.
"Race you to the track field!"
"And end up in the Nurse's office again? No thanks," I shout after her, but I set off in a light jog anyway. She must be rubbing off on me a little.

On the track field, Emi is still moving her arms a little awkwardly. "Hey, what happened to your arms?"
She gives me an awkward smile. "Ehehe... Rin needed a big can of paint for her mural, and without you there, someone had to carry it down..."
I immediately smack my forehead. "Ah, crap. I completely forgot about that. I guess I owe the both of you an apology now."
"Nah, that's ok. Rin wasn't mad or anything." Does Rin ever get mad about anything?
"Right, but how about you?"
"I'm not a clay doll, you know," she replies with an affronted glare. "It's not like I've never had muscle aches before."

I still give her an apologetic smile, and get a light-hearted giggle in return. We run in silence for almost a full lap, after which the quiet is continually broken by my heavy breathing. Suddenly, Emi turns her head towards me again and asks, "So where were you wednesday? Rin said you weren't anywhere, but knowing her she never looked at places other than the artroom." And just like that, my thoughts are launched right back at last night. I valiantly try to rewind another day, but I'm not sure if it worked yet. I'm hoping turning my head away a little did.

Deciding I can't run and talk like Emi can, I wave her to a stop, and take a while to catch my breath. When I think I can at least speak without interrupting myself every five words, and that my blush is gone, I tell her, "I was with Lilly and Hanako, talking about this whole.. mess we seem to be stuck in."

For a moment, Emi's cheeks puff out in anger, but she somehow keeps herself in check. "It was just that, right?" Well, almost.
"Just what?"
"Just talking..." She starts to fidget just the slightest bit now.
"Yeah, we were just talking wednesday afternoon."
"Really... Well, that's good then." And she flashes me what's supposed to pass for a bright smile, but she can't completely hide her grimace. Sighing, I rub the back of my neck, wondering how I ever ended up in this mess in the first place.

After a little while, Emi asks me, "So, what did you three find out?"
"That all our memories are the same, up until last monday."
"Really? Exactly the same?"
"Well, as much the same as they can be when seen from different eyes."
She giggles at that. "Rin's and mine are the same, too. Was that why you wanted to have lunch with all four of us last wednesday?"
"Yeah, it was, but I guess we don't have to, now."
"Rin said she wanted to have everyone together on sunday, though."
I blink at that, then look straight at her. "Did she tell you why?"
Emi giggles again. "No, but when does Rin ever?"
"Good point." I mull it over for a moment before saying, "Sunday should be when everything winds back again, shouldn't it?"
"Oh! Yeah, I guess so."

A small part of me can't help but hope that this time, we continue on past the festival. I can see why. I mean, everything is different now, isn't it? I've never hugged Emi before, and Hanako never kissed me before. Wait, no, don't think of last night again...

"Hey, why are you blushing?" Crap, busted.
"N-no reason..." I decide to look away, and hope Emi'll drop the issue.
Emi, of course, just walks around me to look me in the face again. Wishful thinking. "No one ever blushes for 'no reason'! Spill, Hisao!"
I keep avoiding her eyes. "It's nothing, honestly."
She puffs up her cheeks again, looking angrier by the second. "Stop teasing me! Is it because of yesterday morning?" Oh, right, there was that, too.
I grin at her embarrassedly. "Ehehe, busted." Now I just hope she'll believe me.
"Really..." She still eyes me a little suspiciously, but then flashes me a bright grin. "So I did have a little impact then?"
"Y-yeah, you did." I still don't look her in the eye, and hope she doesn't catch on. I'd like to think I've hurt her feelings enough for one round.

On the other hand, I can't keep doing this. I'll have to choose one of them eventually. And by the looks of it, I'll have to choose before sunday. Shizune and Rin are off the list, for obvious reasons - Shizune still hasn't tried talking to me again, and Rin already straight out said she doesn't have any feelings for me. Lilly I'm still not sure of, considering she never made any move towards me. It could be she's holding back for Hanako's sake, which I really wouldn't put past her.

So, unless Lilly suddenly makes a move, this leaves me with Emi and Hanako. They're the only two to have made attempts at showing their affection for me. And while Hanako somehow gained the courage to do so on purpose, giving me a heart attack in the process, with Emi it kind of just happened. Argh, I really need to talk about this mess with someone soon, before I lose my mind again. Maybe some more running will help clear my mind.

I stretch a little, then turn to Emi and say, "Let's do a little more running."
"Oh? You want some more?" That's.. the most suggestive statement Emi has ever made.
"More running, yes. Let's go." And I start off first.
Emi catches me before I've gone ten meters, of course. And keeps perfect pace with me.

I manage to run another full lap and a half before my heart and lungs start to scream for mercy. So I stop again, panting like a dog. Or maybe even more than that. I hear Emi's footsteps slowly fading out as she keeps running, then turning louder again when she comes up behind me. She stops this time, and puts a small hand on my back.

"Are you ok, Hisao?" she asks worriedly.
I swallow before responding. "Yeah, just give me a minute."
"You've already taken two, you know."
"Fine, give me -another- minute."

She giggles again, and by now I've caught my breath enough to straighten up. I stretch my arms up high, groaning slightly, and look at Emi when I'm lowering my arms again.

Who's staring at me with an incredibly indescribable look on her face. It's definitely something that's making her feel good. Her eyes are a little dreamy, too. And her mouth is hanging half-open in a lazy smile. It's more than a little embarrassing to be stared at like that.

"Um... Emi?"
"Hm? Wha?" Oh, good, I'm not the only one to become lost for words this week.
"Can you please stop staring at me like that?"
She has the decency to blush at that. "Oh! I'm sorry! I don't know why I did that..."

We stand there, embarrassed, for a good minute. My heart's slown down enough to be considered having a normal, everyday heartbeat. Which of course doesn't last long.

"Um... Hisao?"
"What is it, Emi?"
"Can.. you do me a favor?"
Blinking, I look at her again, to find her examining the gravel. "Um... What kind of favor?"
She's standing too close to make out her face, but she's fidgeting more and more. "Could... Can you hold me again?" she asks me in the smallest of voices.

See? There goes my heart-rate. I'm now more convinced than ever that one of these girls will be the death of me yet.

I don't say anything in response. I'm not sure my mouth would work. Instead, I turn towards her and put my hands on her shoulders. Emi responds by moving in closer and hugging my chest. And when my arms curl around her small frame, she presses her entire body against me. Her. Entire. Body. I almost black out because of all the blood rushing to my face. I actually feel my heart object when she starts to rub her cheek against my sternum.

We stand in the middle of the track-field like that for what feels like yet another eternity. Right until the school bell signals that today's lessons are about to begin. Emi squeezes me a little tighter before letting go, and smiles up at me. The look in her eyes is actually a little sad, but before I have an opportunity to ask her about that, she starts to talk.

"I-I saw you three outside the dorms last night... You, and those Satou and Ikezawa girls." There's not a hint of resentment in her voice, despite her words. "Seeing t-that Ikezawa move so close to you again really made me angry, you know? I w-wasn't close enough to hear what she said... But..." Emi lowers her head again, and starts to sob a little. "It wasn't d-dark enough to hide w-what she did. T-there was enough light t-to see your expression for the rest o-of the night." Her hands clench on my shirt again, pulling the fabric taut. I say nothing, my hands long since fallen down to my sides.

Looking up to me again, Emi's smile is impossibly strained, and I can see the tears rolling down her face. "S-she has me beat, do-doesn't she? Hah-haha... N-nothing I did made you look t-that stunned all week yet." She swallows, twice, visibly trying to calm herself down. "You love her, don't you?"

She must have seen something in my expression right there and then. Before I have a chance to say anything, again, she lowers her head back down, and continues. "I see... I didn't have a chance from the start, did I?" And without having heard a word from me, she turns around and bolts away.

And just like that, the choice is taken from me.

It's not until a teacher asks me why I'm standing in the middle of the track-field that I head for the dorms to get changed.

=======================================
All will be revealed in due time.
Last edited by Leotrak on Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"ice-cream-flavoured ice-cream" -Rin
"oh moe is me" -me
Numbered Days, my first piece of fanfic
Leotrak's Library, my other depository of written stuffs
Before: Hanako>/=Emi>Rin>Lilly>Shizune
After: Emi>Rin>Hanako>Lilly>>>>>>>>>>>Shizune
User avatar
Leotrak
 
Posts: 589
Joined: Sun May 23, 2010 5:49 pm
Location: Your Mind, Slowly Nibbling away your Sanity

Re: Numbered Days

Postby griffon8 » Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:13 pm

Oh, another wonderful chapter. Thank you!

Don't give up, Emi!

Just one thing:
Leotrak wrote:She shallows, twice, visibly trying to calm herself down. "You love her, don't you?"
You probably want Emi to swallow there.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.

Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin

Griffon8's Writing
User avatar
griffon8
 
Posts: 1086
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 8:47 pm
Location: Southeast Michigan, USA

Re: Numbered Days

Postby TipsyRooster » Mon Aug 23, 2010 3:56 pm

Though the lack of Rin makes me sad, I'm really enjoying this. Can't wait for your next chapter :D
Cockadoodle...hic!
User avatar
TipsyRooster
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Sun Aug 22, 2010 12:21 am

PreviousNext

Return to Fan Fiction

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: badiron, Eurobeatjester and 7 guests