Chapter 31
01
"Miss Satou!"
I turn my head and look at the reception desk where a woman in her early 30's is beckoning me.
"Good morning, Miss Satou."
"Good morning... erm... Wendy?"
"Jenny."
Crap.
"Sorry, I'm still in the process of remembering everybody's name. Please humor me for a little while longer."
"Not a problem. How is your father doing? Is he still sick?"
Most of the employees still don't know why Dad hasn't shown up at the office in two days straight and assume that it's a common illness, but it's probably not my place to spill the beans. I can see how the truth could create a fair share of commotion around here.
"Yes, I'm afraid he's still a bit under the weather."
"Hopefully, he'll be better soon. It feels rather odd not to see him come in here each morning."
"Here's hoping."
"Anyway, Mister Ferguson wanted to see you before you start this morning."
"Thank you for telling me. I'll go and pay him a visit then."
I leave the reception area and head over to the office of the person who's in charge of this branch after Dad. I haven't really spoken with him much since I arrived here. As I knock on the door of his office, I hear a soft 'come in' and enter. I think I already know what this is going to be about.
"Ah, good morning Miss Satou."
"Good morning, Mister Ferguson. How are you doing?"
"As well as I can, given the circumstances. Have you been managing to get settled in a bit already?"
I still feel a bit like a fish out of the water at times. Dress code is all over the place. Lots of people come to work in their casual attire, rather than a business suit. The higher ups still dress formal as usual, as do the people from sales and marketing, although even those show up every now and then in their casual clothes, presumably on days when they don't have any activities planned that involves contact with customers or business partners. Most people are also on first-name basis with one another, though there are some exceptions here and there too. It's still a bit confusing at times. The Japanese branch's corporate culture may have been overly traditional and formal, but at least it was consistent.
"I think I'm doing fairly well with that. My direct colleagues have been very helpful. I'm still trying to convince people to address me by my first name though."
"Are you comfortable with that?"
"I think I could easily get used to it. Everyone around me uses first names to address the others. I can't fall behind."
Mister Ferguson gives me a sheepish smile.
"One of the first things we teach employees here who get to deal with people from your former branch on a regular basis is to always address Japanese co-workers by their family name even after having built a working relationship with them."
"Hmmm, does that also apply to Japanese who gain Scottish citizenship?"
"That is up to you to decide. People will learn as long as you're not afraid to keep correcting them."
"If I may ask, how do you address my parents?"
"I always address your mother by her first name. She'd probably think something was wrong if I called her by her last name, especially since she also plays bridge with my wife and two others every two weeks, so I also know her socially a bit."
"Mother really seems to be living an extremely busy life. Not only has she been working a full-time job, but she's also on the neighborhood committee and goes on bike rides with friends. I sometimes wonder if she's ever at home at all."
Mister Ferguson chuckles.
"I sometimes wonder about that too. She once told me that she occasionally gets involved in various charity events and that she's also been working on rebuilding and expanding the old network of contacts she had when she was still a business reporter. I believe she regularly submits columns to various local magazines and newspapers. Personally, if I had that kind of life, I'd burn myself out in weeks. But she seems to handle it just fine."
Seems like it. And the only thing that had to go was her interaction with her children. Small sacrifice, really.
"How about my father?"
"To be honest, we tried first names for some time, but I could tell he wasn't very comfortable with it, so eventually we switched back. I have to admit interaction became stilted from time to time whenever he called me Norris and then gave me a look as if apologizing for insulting me."
He smirks.
"I've always been fascinated by how different your parents are as people."
"Different?"
"Your mother's an extraverted woman, always on the go, involved in a hundred things at once and with a knack for quickly spotting and immediately pouncing on opportunities that present themselves. Your father's more of an introvert, content to sit in his study and read through his book collection in the little free time he permits himself, and I've never seen him make decisions on a whim... He always tries to get to the bottom of whatever issue he faces before deciding on it and he usually pays a large amount of attention to the long-term consequences of whatever action he takes. More than anyone else I've ever met."
"I see."
A gloomy expression appears on his face.
"Which is why this came as such a shock. I could see your father brushing off warning signs with explanations like 'rsi' or 'indigestion' in order to avoid worrying others, but I find it impossible to believe he failed to consider the possibility of a heart affliction himself. Especially since he, like many of us at the office, has taken the same first aid training we also offer our larger customers as part of our service. He must have known. And yet he kept going."
"He probably thought he would be able to hold on for a few more weeks. Mother had a vacation planned afterwards that he could use to get his bearings back. I don't think she'll have much opportunity to take it easy any time soon. We don't even know when he's going to be released from the hospital yet."
"How is he? Have you spoken to him already?"
"My mother, my sister and I dropped by the hospital yesterday, but he was asleep while we were there, and they wouldn't let us see him. We have an appointment with his cardiologist later today. Perhaps we'll get lucky afterwards."
"Give him my regards, and tell him not to worry too much about the company. We're going to do our best to succeed in the next few weeks, even if he's not there to participate."
"If I may ask, has there already been word from the board of directors in Japan on what they want to do with the delegation that is heading for the US in a few weeks?"
"Not yet. I think they will send a few people from the Japanese branch along. Just between you and me, I just hope those people aren't going to end up getting in the way. The Japanese branch has focussed completely on the local market during the last 6 years and has barely been involved in the expansion process at all. That's been head office's task. Part of me is hoping your mother will still come along. She's just as familiar with the involved parties as your father is and could partially compensate for his absence, but the board is not going to put a PR manager in charge of an operation this major. They'll want someone higher up the chain of command to act as the leader."
"Kojima?"
"Probably. Has your mother said anything about what she intends to do? I wouldn't blame her if she decided to stay by her husband's side. Of course, it would have been rather inappropriate to ask her about that when she called yesterday, but perhaps you've picked something up."
"I'm afraid I haven't really spoken to her much."
"I just wanted to let you know that nobody here would question your loyalty to the company if you followed your mother's example and decided you need some time off to deal with this. We'd be happy to accommodate you."
I don't think there'd be much of a point in me taking time off. If Mom needs comfort, she still has Lilly around. And Lilly has Hanako and Hisao... for the time being. Mom decided it was probably best for them to return to Japan ahead of schedule, since Dad's incident pretty much put a permanent damper on their vacation. They're set take a flight back in three days. If Lilly wants me to spend more time with her afterwards, I can always take a day off or so, but I think I know her well enough already to know she probably wouldn't want me to take a leave of absence purely for her sake.
"I think I'll be fine, sir. But I appreciate your concern. I'll be sure to let you know if I change my mind."
He nods.
"Good. I won't claim any more of your time. I hope the cardiologist brings good news this afternoon. You and your family have my well-wishes."
"Thank you, sir. Good day."
I leave Mister Ferguson's office and hurry to my own place. If I skip my lunch break and work extra hard, I'll be able to leave earlier for that appointment without getting behind in my work.
--------------------------------------
I check my watch as I walk through the entry hall of the hospital for the third day in a row. I'm a little later than I should be due to me having to take a phone call a minute before I was supposed to be leaving. Spotting a pair of elevator doors slowly closing in the distance, I hurriedly sprint towards it and stick my hand in between them before they close completely, counting on the sensor to detect my arm and reopen the doors.
As the elevator door does indeed open, rather than amputating my hand on the spot, they reveal the elevator's sole occupant: a wrinkled old man dressed in pajamas and a bathrobe holding a pack of cigarettes in one hand while holding onto a movable IV pole with the other. He gives me an annoyed glare for briefly stalling the trip back to his room, and I mutter a quick apology in return. As I look at the elevator's control panel I notice that my fellow-passenger has already pressed the button leading to the floor where I need to be as well.
The elevator doors close again, and as the elevator starts rising, I sneak a quick look at the old man. I'm not sure what makes him a more pitiful sight: that IV pole he's dragging around or his slumped posture in general. I wonder if this is what Dad'll look like in a few weeks, assuming all goes well. Heck, the guy sharing the elevator with me might have been a strict patriarch himself before some illness did a number on him.
After arriving at my destination floor, I hurry over to the cardiology ward's waiting area and am relieved to see Lilly and Mom still sitting there.
"Yo!"
"Oh, hello Akira."
"Akira! I'm glad that you could still make it. How was your work day?"
"Okayish. Aside from a few exceptions, people at the office haven't caught on yet, though I had to bite my tongue a few times. With both Dad and Mom suddenly absent, several people suddenly remembered that another Satou recently moved in, and I had to feign obliviousness several times. I can't say I like doing that."
Mom gives a nod.
"I'm planning to drop by the office tomorrow and let people in on the situation. I wanted to hold that off until after our appointment today. I want to at least know what to tell people."
"Are you coming back to work tomorrow?"
"I don't know about that yet. I kinda feel like I should be at your father's side throughout this ordeal."
I'm not sure what irks me more: Mom's hypocritical statement or Lilly's understanding nod that follows it, but before I can determine whether or not to react to it, a young nurse comes walking in and takes a look around the room.
"Satou?"
Mom gets up and nods.
"That's us."
"Doctor McElroy is ready to see you. This way, please."
Lilly gets up as well, and I allow her to take hold of my sleeve. As we head for the doctor's office, I whisper to her.
"And how are you, Sis? You look a bit better than two days ago, with the emphasis on 'a bit'. Are you still holding up?"
Of course, when I met up with her in the hospital the day before yesterday, she looked about ready to break down. It makes sense that she's managed to compose herself a bit since then. She gives me a tired smile.
"I'm doing okay, given the circumstances. Still, I'd feel a lot better if the doctor were to reassure us that Father will make a full recovery."
"How are Hanako and Hisao doing?"
"The whole situation was as much a scare for them as it was for me. What happened hit a very raw nerve with both of them."
Yeah, that's not particularly surprising.
"Maybe we'll have some good news today, and they'll be able to return to Japan with a sense of optimism."
"I really hope so."
02
We follow the nurse and Mom into the doctor's office, and I quickly guide Lilly to one of the chairs. As the nurse leaves the room and Mom and I sit down, the doctor gives us a quick look-over and then addresses Mom.
"Good afternoon. I am doctor McElroy."
"Good afternoon. I am Karla Satou. These are my daughters Akira and Lilly."
An inquisitive glint appears in the doctor's eye.
"Satou isn't exactly a common name around here. Are you perhaps related to Satou Medical Technology? I don't deal with them directly, but I've heard that it's a family company."
"My husband actually runs that company. I'm an employee myself as well. Raigmore is a very valued customer of ours. Particularly this ward."
"Yes, our ambulance team probably even used one of your AED's to correct your husband's heart rhythm. Hmmm... Perhaps he can appreciate that."
Mom smiles sadly.
"He probably would. Or rather... He'd probably be very troubled if it had been the competition's equipment that saved his life..."
She sighs before continuing.
"The CEO of a company specializing in heart equipment suffering a heart attack... It sounds unreal, doesn't it?"
Doctor McElroy chuckles briefly.
"Not to me, to be honest. I've worked in a hospital in the past where I worked alongside another cardiologist who ended up suffering a minor heart attack himself. One of my old friends from university is a respiratory physician who's also an avid smoker whenever he's not on duty. And plenty of dentists have cavities from time to time. All of us are still only human, Mrs Satou. It's not uncommon to be knowledgable about illnesses or conditions and still fall prey to them yourself. In fact, sometimes merely being knowledgable about something helps us fool ourselves into believing it won't happen to us..."
His expression turns slightly more serious.
"...even in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. But we can talk about that later. It's probably best if I give you an update on his condition first."
"Yes, that would be appreciated."
"The gist of it would be that your husband has been extremely lucky. Lucky that an ambulance was called immediately and that the ambulance crew was warned beforehand that it was probably a heart attack. Lucky to quickly receive CPR. And lucky that you live so close to the hospital."
Lilly immediately perks up at the doctor's words.
"Doctor, are you saying that my father will probably make a full recovery?"
"From what we've been able to see, he doesn't appear to have suffered any brain damage. He can truly thank his lucky stars for that. I'm not sure if I can call his upcoming recovery process a 'full recovery' though. His fractured ribs will hurt him for some time, but they will heal completely eventually. His heart is a more complex story. A heart simply cannot get away from an event such as this completely unscathed. Under the right circumstances, such as a healthy lifestyle, he will be able to avoid this sort of thing from ever repeating itself, but the fact remains that someone who suffers from a heart attack will run an increased risk of further heart attacks in the future. That is something he cannot afford to ever ignore."
Mom nods.
"A healthy lifestyle - stress-free, I presume?"
"Yes. A heart attack caused by stress-related high blood pressure is a worst-case scenario, but as you have learned even worst-case scenarios take place from time to time. I understand that your husband has been under a lot of stress?"
"I'm afraid so. We're on the verge of taking over a company abroad, and there's been a second interested party who hasn't completely left the picture yet. All in all, it's been a very trying time. We were planning a vacation after this was all over, but until then things would be extremely busy. The knowledge that he couldn't afford to fall ill right now may even have been an additional factor of stress."
"Your health starts faltering, you start worrying about what happens if you were to be put out of commission, you become more stressed, your health starts dropping more, so you start worrying more, etcetera, etcetera. That sort of thing can indeed create a vicious circle that is quite hard to get out of. "
Lilly sighs.
"And despite everything he also committed to a trip with my friends and me, despite the fact that it required him to squeeze his workload into an even smaller timespan. If only..."
The doctor scrapes his throat to cut off Lilly's remark.
"Please do not oversimplify the situation, Miss Satou. Maybe what you mentioned was the straw that broke the camel's back, and maybe it wasn't. Maybe he could have lasted until that vacation your mother spoke of or maybe something else would have caused things to fall apart. I think the right thing to contemplate on right now isn't that last straw, but all the others that were already there."
"I think the doctor has a point, Lilly. The responsibility for this ultimately lies with Dad and not with you. He must have had at least a minor suspicion of where he was headed. I mean, when you spoke to his general practitioner on the phone, the man immediately told you to have a cardiologist look at Dad. That's a pretty quick conclusion to jump to without any context, so my gut says he knew about Dad's situation. It may have been going on for some time."
Sisterhood: True Edition (Hanako Epilogue) (Completed)
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Chapter 31
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 31 - cont.
The doctor nods his head.
"We spoke to his general practitioner to get his account of things too. The last time he saw your father was quite some time ago, but your father was somewhat of a risk case even then. According to doctor Thompson, your father has had high blood pressure for years. The only thing that surprised doctor Thompson was how long your father still managed to last."
Son of a bitch! Years? I shake my head in disbelief. How stupid can a person get? How important was this company expansion for him to go this far?
Lilly barely manages to conceal a shocked gasp. Mom's face, on the other hand, is completely neutral. I wonder how much she knows. It feels inappropriate to ask with the doctor nearby, so I swallow the remark I was about to make. After a moment of silence, Mom speaks up.
"I suppose your comment about how tempting it is to believe these sorts of things only happen to others is particularly true here."
"...I suppose so."
"So... What will happen now? And when do you think he can go home?"
"He is going to need a lot of time to recover. If you like, it's okay for you to go and visit him after you leave here if he's awake. How long we decide to keep him here will depend on how well his recovery progresses. It's still too early to make an accurate prediction."
"He'd probably feel more comfortable recuperating at home than in a hospital room. We could hire a private duty nurse to keep an eye on him while he recovers. We live very close to Raigmore, so dropping by for a daily checkup would not be impractical."
"We can consider that once he has recovered a bit. At this point, we still like to keep a close eye on him ourselves. We will reevaluate his situation in a week or two."
"Of course."
"We can make an appointment next week to discuss the future. We will probably have a better idea of when he can leave the hospital. When you schedule a new appointment with the desk workers down the hall they will be able to provide you with some pamphlets about how to adjust one's lifestyle in order to prevent further heart attacks."
"I'll be sure to read them. But doctor..."
She pauses for a moment, almost as if not entirely sure if she's prepared for the answer.
"...will he be able to return to work eventually, or is this the definite end of his career?"
"Given how far he's gone, I can only imagine that his job is very important to him."
"It's a bit complicated. He runs a family company, and family companies don't stop being part of one's life after retirement, voluntary or otherwise. In fact, I think the company's always been part of his life, even when he was still attending school."
"We try to encourage people who are recovering from a heart attack to try and lead a life that's as normal as possible after their recuperation. Having a daily rhythm and interaction with colleagues is part of that. But the lifestyle your husband used to live cannot be described as normal or healthy. That lifestyle will have to change. He will have to pay more attention to his own needs from now on. It will be up to him to determine whether his current job and a healthy and stress-free lifestyle are two things that can be reconciled with one another or not."
"We will keep that in mind. Thank you for your time, doctor."
03
We leave the office, and Mom heads over to the information desk to schedule a new appointment. I look at Lilly and notice she has a troubled look on her face. I give her a subtle nudge.
"I bet I know what's bugging you, Sis. This whole meeting was pretty run-of-the-mill, except for that one revelation."
Lilly nods sullenly.
"He knew... for years..."
"He knew he was a risk case for years, but the question remains whether anybody else besides that general practitioner knew about this. Well, I'm curious about one person in particular. She put on one hell of a poker face just now."
"I... don't want to believe that she knew... and did nothing. When I spoke with her on the phone that evening, she even said..."
"Yeah, if she knew then that's a real problem. But would it really be a relief to you if she didn't know, Lils?"
"What do you mean?"
"If she didn't know, that has implications too. You might not like those either."
"..."
"How much do we really know about Mom and Dad? It's been six years, and back when we were living with them, we were living in a completely different environment. Things have changed. They've changed too, that much is obvious. Especially Mom. Maybe... that new start they talked about earlier wasn't just about patching things up between us and them. Maybe.."
"Maybe...?"
"She's coming back. We might as well ask her now."
"I'm not sure if now is the appropriate time."
"Well, I'd sure as hell like to make sense of all this."
As Mom comes back from the desk, she has a weary expression on her face.
"I've made an appointment for next week. You can come along again if you like, but I won't force you to."
"So what now, Mom? We're gonna walk out of here and pretend the elephant in the room is just part of the furniture? The doctor played along just now, but that's not gonna work a second time. What the hell is going on here?"
"What indeed..."
"Mother, do you remember that phone call we had on the evening of...? You said things would probably be fine. That he'd be able to handle a few more weeks."
"If Lilly had taken your words at face value back then instead of calling a doctor, we'd probably be arranging a funeral right now. How much did you know about Dad's condition?"
"If I had known that your father's had high blood pressure for years, do you really think I would have told Lilly not to worry? What kind of person do you think I am?"
Lilly breathes a soft sigh of relief, but I'm not done with Mom yet.
"I'm not sure what kind of person you are. I believe you when you say that what doctor McElroy just said was new to you, too, but that does beg the question why you didn't know and how you couldn't have known about it. The two of you lived in the same house and worked at the same office. When he went to see doctor Thompson, didn't you bother to ask why he went or what the doctor said?"
"I would have, if I had known he went there in the first place. He must have gone there at a time I was away from the home."
"Well, he certainly wasn't hurting for opportunities in that case."
Mom folds her arms in a slightly defensive manner.
"Akira, what is this about?"
"I haven't been here for very long, but one thing everyone at the office who knows you agreed upon is that you always seem to be involved in a thousand things at once. Committees, social events, charity work, you name it. But I also got the impression that there's one thing you weren't very involved in at all and that was your interaction with Dad outside the office. You two have been living completely separate lives over the years. So it's not that surprising that he didn't tell you. Why would he? You've been just as neglectful of him as you've been of us."
Lilly's expression becomes pained upon hearing my harsh words.
"Akira... Please, not now."
Mom averts her eyes for a second.
"I'm not gonna try and justify the lack of contact between the three of us, but your father... was actually okay with the way we lived our lives. He knew that... if he ever needed me to be there for him... I'd drop everything else immediately. I swore a solemn oath to him, and I have reminded him of it... several times."
I shake my head in disbelief.
"You'd drop everything else and be a wife to him as long as he asked you? What kind of sorry marriage has agreements like that? Was that part of your wedding vows? Heck, why did you even marry Dad to begin with? Did you even like him, or did you just want to marry into a wealthy and prestigious family?"
"Oh, shut up Akira!"
I might have gotten carried away a bit. Mom's eyes narrow, and she clenches her right hand into a fist. From the shaking of her hand, I get the impression she's at least playing with the idea of punching me. She holds back, but she shoots me a death glare that is intense enough to send a shiver up my spine before spitting out a vicious retort.
"Stop ignorantly lecturing me on things you know nothing about!"
Even though Mom limited herself to merely hitting back with words, Lilly reels as if someone slapped her in the face.
"M-Mother, Akira... Please... just... stop this."
The distressed look on Lilly's face makes my anger fade a bit and replaces it with embarassment. Judging from the expression on Mom's face, she's probably feeling the same.
"Sorry Sis."
"Yes, sorry dear. *sigh* Let's not make a scene here, okay?"
"Okay."
She hesitates for a bit.
"If the two of you want to pay him a visit, now's probably a good time."
"Yes."
"Akira, you don't mind dropping off Lilly afterwards, do you?"
"Excuse me, but... You're not coming along, Mother?"
"I'll pay him a visit this evening. Right now, I need to think about a few things. I don't want to end up saying something to him in front of you two that I might regret later."
"..."
"...Fine. I'll give her a ride afterwards."
"Alright. I'll talk to you later then."
She gives us a nod and then walks off. As we start walking towards the hospital room where Dad's staying, I take a look at Lilly and notice she looks extremely troubled. I sigh.
"Do you believe her?"
"I... I do. She seemed sincerely offended at your words."
I notice a slightly accusing tone in her voice. It's only barely noticable, and I might have missed it if I wasn't so used to the subtleties of my sister's way of speaking.
"You think I went too far?"
"It... wasn't very respectful."
"Maybe not. But they're probably already used to this kind of thing from me."
"I don't think that's true or Mother wouldn't have sounded so angry."
"Listen, I get that I'm being confrontational, but someone has to call them out on their actions, Sis. And if I I'm doing this that means you don't have to. Anyway, this kinda confirms that you made the right decision earlier, doesn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You came this close to giving up your life and new little surrogate family at Yamaku under the assumption that at least you'd get your old family back in return. Now it turns out that instead of a family, there's just two people here who were doing whatever the hell they wanted without paying much attention to what the other was up to. That wasn't worth giving up your life at Yamaku for, Sis. Not by a long shot. In the end, it still would have been you and me here, just like back in Japan six years ago."
"I... I need to let all of this sink in. I need to think... about things."
"There'll be time for that later. We're here."
Just as we arrive at room 702, I see a nurse walking out of it.
"Excuse me, miss. Is Mister Satou awake right now?"
She nods.
"He is. You can go and visit him if you like."
I look at Lilly.
"Well, here goes nothing."
04
As we enter the room and close the door behind us, the bustling of the hallways fades away and is replaced by an almost oppressive silence that's only disrupted by the steady high-pitched beep of a nearby EKG monitor. I get a strange feeling of déjà vu as we walk further into the room and towards the bed housing the room's only occupant. I remember visiting Hisao while he was hospitalized together with Lilly, Shizune and Misha and feeling a similar atmosphere when I entered his room. That feels so long ago, despite it only being like a month away. Hisao did look a lot less sordid than the person lying before us here. Unshaven, an IV needle sticking in his arm and the movement of his chest betraying a strained breathing, Dad looks at least a decade older than he really is. The expression in his eyes is less sharp and probing than it usually is, probably due to the painkillers he's on, but he's definitely conscious as I can see his gaze following us as we make our way over to the bed. He gives a short sigh as an indication that he's aware of our presence.
"Hello Father."
"Nice to see you're awake, Dad."
"..."
05
There's a soft sound, but if it was a mumble, it was too soft for even Lilly to comprehend. That familiar worrying expression appears on my sister's face in response.
"Father... Are you in a lot of pain?"
"I... fine."
Those fractured ribs of his probably make even taking deep breaths painful, and his first reaction is to claim he's fine. I shrug.
"His definition of 'fine' is still the same as it was just before this whole mess started, Sis. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether you want me to describe what he looks like, but 'fine' is not a word I'd use right now."
Lilly merely smiles sheepishly and then goes back to her worrying tone.
"You don't have to talk, Father. If you really need to say something, just whisper. Please don't strain yourself."
"Your... mother... not here?"
Lilly smiles and shakes her head.
"Mother will be keeping you company this evening."
That's leaving out one heck of an important detail.
"Maybe in the meantime you could think about what you're gonna tell her. We just had a talk with your cardiologist who in turn had a talk with your general practitioner. Turns out he knew you were a risk case, and you knew that too. What on earth were you thinking?"
A long silence. I wonder if he expected us to find out about this. I can see Lilly fidgeting a bit. She obviously doesn't really like where this is going, but at the same time I bet she's curious herself.
"We spoke to his general practitioner to get his account of things too. The last time he saw your father was quite some time ago, but your father was somewhat of a risk case even then. According to doctor Thompson, your father has had high blood pressure for years. The only thing that surprised doctor Thompson was how long your father still managed to last."
Son of a bitch! Years? I shake my head in disbelief. How stupid can a person get? How important was this company expansion for him to go this far?
Lilly barely manages to conceal a shocked gasp. Mom's face, on the other hand, is completely neutral. I wonder how much she knows. It feels inappropriate to ask with the doctor nearby, so I swallow the remark I was about to make. After a moment of silence, Mom speaks up.
"I suppose your comment about how tempting it is to believe these sorts of things only happen to others is particularly true here."
"...I suppose so."
"So... What will happen now? And when do you think he can go home?"
"He is going to need a lot of time to recover. If you like, it's okay for you to go and visit him after you leave here if he's awake. How long we decide to keep him here will depend on how well his recovery progresses. It's still too early to make an accurate prediction."
"He'd probably feel more comfortable recuperating at home than in a hospital room. We could hire a private duty nurse to keep an eye on him while he recovers. We live very close to Raigmore, so dropping by for a daily checkup would not be impractical."
"We can consider that once he has recovered a bit. At this point, we still like to keep a close eye on him ourselves. We will reevaluate his situation in a week or two."
"Of course."
"We can make an appointment next week to discuss the future. We will probably have a better idea of when he can leave the hospital. When you schedule a new appointment with the desk workers down the hall they will be able to provide you with some pamphlets about how to adjust one's lifestyle in order to prevent further heart attacks."
"I'll be sure to read them. But doctor..."
She pauses for a moment, almost as if not entirely sure if she's prepared for the answer.
"...will he be able to return to work eventually, or is this the definite end of his career?"
"Given how far he's gone, I can only imagine that his job is very important to him."
"It's a bit complicated. He runs a family company, and family companies don't stop being part of one's life after retirement, voluntary or otherwise. In fact, I think the company's always been part of his life, even when he was still attending school."
"We try to encourage people who are recovering from a heart attack to try and lead a life that's as normal as possible after their recuperation. Having a daily rhythm and interaction with colleagues is part of that. But the lifestyle your husband used to live cannot be described as normal or healthy. That lifestyle will have to change. He will have to pay more attention to his own needs from now on. It will be up to him to determine whether his current job and a healthy and stress-free lifestyle are two things that can be reconciled with one another or not."
"We will keep that in mind. Thank you for your time, doctor."
03
We leave the office, and Mom heads over to the information desk to schedule a new appointment. I look at Lilly and notice she has a troubled look on her face. I give her a subtle nudge.
"I bet I know what's bugging you, Sis. This whole meeting was pretty run-of-the-mill, except for that one revelation."
Lilly nods sullenly.
"He knew... for years..."
"He knew he was a risk case for years, but the question remains whether anybody else besides that general practitioner knew about this. Well, I'm curious about one person in particular. She put on one hell of a poker face just now."
"I... don't want to believe that she knew... and did nothing. When I spoke with her on the phone that evening, she even said..."
"Yeah, if she knew then that's a real problem. But would it really be a relief to you if she didn't know, Lils?"
"What do you mean?"
"If she didn't know, that has implications too. You might not like those either."
"..."
"How much do we really know about Mom and Dad? It's been six years, and back when we were living with them, we were living in a completely different environment. Things have changed. They've changed too, that much is obvious. Especially Mom. Maybe... that new start they talked about earlier wasn't just about patching things up between us and them. Maybe.."
"Maybe...?"
"She's coming back. We might as well ask her now."
"I'm not sure if now is the appropriate time."
"Well, I'd sure as hell like to make sense of all this."
As Mom comes back from the desk, she has a weary expression on her face.
"I've made an appointment for next week. You can come along again if you like, but I won't force you to."
"So what now, Mom? We're gonna walk out of here and pretend the elephant in the room is just part of the furniture? The doctor played along just now, but that's not gonna work a second time. What the hell is going on here?"
"What indeed..."
"Mother, do you remember that phone call we had on the evening of...? You said things would probably be fine. That he'd be able to handle a few more weeks."
"If Lilly had taken your words at face value back then instead of calling a doctor, we'd probably be arranging a funeral right now. How much did you know about Dad's condition?"
"If I had known that your father's had high blood pressure for years, do you really think I would have told Lilly not to worry? What kind of person do you think I am?"
Lilly breathes a soft sigh of relief, but I'm not done with Mom yet.
"I'm not sure what kind of person you are. I believe you when you say that what doctor McElroy just said was new to you, too, but that does beg the question why you didn't know and how you couldn't have known about it. The two of you lived in the same house and worked at the same office. When he went to see doctor Thompson, didn't you bother to ask why he went or what the doctor said?"
"I would have, if I had known he went there in the first place. He must have gone there at a time I was away from the home."
"Well, he certainly wasn't hurting for opportunities in that case."
Mom folds her arms in a slightly defensive manner.
"Akira, what is this about?"
"I haven't been here for very long, but one thing everyone at the office who knows you agreed upon is that you always seem to be involved in a thousand things at once. Committees, social events, charity work, you name it. But I also got the impression that there's one thing you weren't very involved in at all and that was your interaction with Dad outside the office. You two have been living completely separate lives over the years. So it's not that surprising that he didn't tell you. Why would he? You've been just as neglectful of him as you've been of us."
Lilly's expression becomes pained upon hearing my harsh words.
"Akira... Please, not now."
Mom averts her eyes for a second.
"I'm not gonna try and justify the lack of contact between the three of us, but your father... was actually okay with the way we lived our lives. He knew that... if he ever needed me to be there for him... I'd drop everything else immediately. I swore a solemn oath to him, and I have reminded him of it... several times."
I shake my head in disbelief.
"You'd drop everything else and be a wife to him as long as he asked you? What kind of sorry marriage has agreements like that? Was that part of your wedding vows? Heck, why did you even marry Dad to begin with? Did you even like him, or did you just want to marry into a wealthy and prestigious family?"
"Oh, shut up Akira!"
I might have gotten carried away a bit. Mom's eyes narrow, and she clenches her right hand into a fist. From the shaking of her hand, I get the impression she's at least playing with the idea of punching me. She holds back, but she shoots me a death glare that is intense enough to send a shiver up my spine before spitting out a vicious retort.
"Stop ignorantly lecturing me on things you know nothing about!"
Even though Mom limited herself to merely hitting back with words, Lilly reels as if someone slapped her in the face.
"M-Mother, Akira... Please... just... stop this."
The distressed look on Lilly's face makes my anger fade a bit and replaces it with embarassment. Judging from the expression on Mom's face, she's probably feeling the same.
"Sorry Sis."
"Yes, sorry dear. *sigh* Let's not make a scene here, okay?"
"Okay."
She hesitates for a bit.
"If the two of you want to pay him a visit, now's probably a good time."
"Yes."
"Akira, you don't mind dropping off Lilly afterwards, do you?"
"Excuse me, but... You're not coming along, Mother?"
"I'll pay him a visit this evening. Right now, I need to think about a few things. I don't want to end up saying something to him in front of you two that I might regret later."
"..."
"...Fine. I'll give her a ride afterwards."
"Alright. I'll talk to you later then."
She gives us a nod and then walks off. As we start walking towards the hospital room where Dad's staying, I take a look at Lilly and notice she looks extremely troubled. I sigh.
"Do you believe her?"
"I... I do. She seemed sincerely offended at your words."
I notice a slightly accusing tone in her voice. It's only barely noticable, and I might have missed it if I wasn't so used to the subtleties of my sister's way of speaking.
"You think I went too far?"
"It... wasn't very respectful."
"Maybe not. But they're probably already used to this kind of thing from me."
"I don't think that's true or Mother wouldn't have sounded so angry."
"Listen, I get that I'm being confrontational, but someone has to call them out on their actions, Sis. And if I I'm doing this that means you don't have to. Anyway, this kinda confirms that you made the right decision earlier, doesn't it?"
"What do you mean?"
"You came this close to giving up your life and new little surrogate family at Yamaku under the assumption that at least you'd get your old family back in return. Now it turns out that instead of a family, there's just two people here who were doing whatever the hell they wanted without paying much attention to what the other was up to. That wasn't worth giving up your life at Yamaku for, Sis. Not by a long shot. In the end, it still would have been you and me here, just like back in Japan six years ago."
"I... I need to let all of this sink in. I need to think... about things."
"There'll be time for that later. We're here."
Just as we arrive at room 702, I see a nurse walking out of it.
"Excuse me, miss. Is Mister Satou awake right now?"
She nods.
"He is. You can go and visit him if you like."
I look at Lilly.
"Well, here goes nothing."
04
As we enter the room and close the door behind us, the bustling of the hallways fades away and is replaced by an almost oppressive silence that's only disrupted by the steady high-pitched beep of a nearby EKG monitor. I get a strange feeling of déjà vu as we walk further into the room and towards the bed housing the room's only occupant. I remember visiting Hisao while he was hospitalized together with Lilly, Shizune and Misha and feeling a similar atmosphere when I entered his room. That feels so long ago, despite it only being like a month away. Hisao did look a lot less sordid than the person lying before us here. Unshaven, an IV needle sticking in his arm and the movement of his chest betraying a strained breathing, Dad looks at least a decade older than he really is. The expression in his eyes is less sharp and probing than it usually is, probably due to the painkillers he's on, but he's definitely conscious as I can see his gaze following us as we make our way over to the bed. He gives a short sigh as an indication that he's aware of our presence.
"Hello Father."
"Nice to see you're awake, Dad."
"..."
05
There's a soft sound, but if it was a mumble, it was too soft for even Lilly to comprehend. That familiar worrying expression appears on my sister's face in response.
"Father... Are you in a lot of pain?"
"I... fine."
Those fractured ribs of his probably make even taking deep breaths painful, and his first reaction is to claim he's fine. I shrug.
"His definition of 'fine' is still the same as it was just before this whole mess started, Sis. I'll leave it up to you to decide whether you want me to describe what he looks like, but 'fine' is not a word I'd use right now."
Lilly merely smiles sheepishly and then goes back to her worrying tone.
"You don't have to talk, Father. If you really need to say something, just whisper. Please don't strain yourself."
"Your... mother... not here?"
Lilly smiles and shakes her head.
"Mother will be keeping you company this evening."
That's leaving out one heck of an important detail.
"Maybe in the meantime you could think about what you're gonna tell her. We just had a talk with your cardiologist who in turn had a talk with your general practitioner. Turns out he knew you were a risk case, and you knew that too. What on earth were you thinking?"
A long silence. I wonder if he expected us to find out about this. I can see Lilly fidgeting a bit. She obviously doesn't really like where this is going, but at the same time I bet she's curious herself.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 31 - cont.
"I... could not... just stop... just before... the... end. My... honor... was at... st-stake... here."
"Honor? Give me a break! You think you're some sort of samurai who'll be fondly remembered by everyone who knew him if he bravely dies in the line of duty while serving his lord or something? I bet most people at the office here would have thought of you as a fool. Heh, maybe those guys on the board of directors would have put a memorial plaque in place in your honor at the Japanese branch, assuming the ambulance crew wouldn't have ended up thwarting things."
"What... do... you... mean?"
"You ever thought of what would have happened if Hanako hadn't been there to give you CPR on the spot, but the ambulance team would still have arrived just in time to save some of your basic brain functions? You would have spent the next decade or two mumbling random gibberish at your wife and daughters while they're busy changing your daily diapers. The board members would have denied your very existence out of embarrassment. If you think that's an exaggeration, then maybe we can take a look around here at the hospital. They may have heart attack victims here who weren't as lucky as you've been."
"..."
I can see that his medication hasn't left him fuzzy enough to miss the implication of my comment and he looks uncomfortable upon imagining that scenario. Looks like that wasn't part of his risk calculation after all.
"Besides, this isn't about the last couple of weeks or the last couple of months. You were told you had high blood pressure years ago. Why on earth didn't you take it easier back then?"
"Could... not... afford to... yet..."
"Could not afford to? Even a couple of years ago, you could have retired and lived out the rest of your days in comfort. This was simply about your ego."
"...no way... to... speak to... a parent... Akira. You... show... respect... for once... This was... about... your... education... and... financial future... too. And es... especially... Lilly's."
That excuse again. Lilly looks a bit distressed upon hearing Father's words.
"My financial future, Father?"
"We... have been... setting... trust fund... for your... cial future... during our... time here."
"A trust fund?"
"Yes... so even... in... the long run... you will... always be... well... provided for. Even... if you... would not... find a... husband... at some point, you... would still... be able... to live... without worry, L-Lilly."
Well-provided for? I wonder if he realizes how extremely patronizing he's sounding. Lilly certainly realizes it, too, and I can see an angry expression on her face. She's making an active effort to keep her composure. The sight of her hurt expression suddenly pisses me off to no end, and I sling an angry retort back at the old man.
"She doesn't want your damn trust fund."
"But... she... will... probably... need... it."
Lilly doesn't answer, but I can see the corner of her mouth twitching slightly, and just when I start expecting her to either give Dad a piece of her mind or send him a fake smile, she turns around and walks out of the room without saying a single word. I recover from the surprise sooner than Dad and give him a dirty look.
"When Mom comes here this evening, it'd be smart to treat her with more respect, or you'll burn what might be the last bridge you have left."
And with that, I leave the room and go after my sister who's already half-way down the corridor before I catch up with her.
"Sis?"
Lilly doesn't immediately respond and merely sighs. For a moment I think she's going to turn around and walk back to Dad to apologize to him, but that doesn't happen.
"I'll take you to the car, okay?"
"Yes..."
I allow her to take my sleeve, and we walk back to the parking lot. I notice she seems to move with a little bit more hesitation than before, but she doesn't stop walking for a single moment. We make our way to the car, but before I start the engine I give an exasperated sigh.
"Well, this was certainly illuminating. I wonder if what happened just now is courtesy of those painkillers he's on."
"Do you mean to say he may have... not been himself."
"He wasn't completely out of it or anything, but he was probably a little too fuzzy to be able to carefully choose and weigh his words like he usually does."
"The mindset behind it is still the same though, isn't it? Whether it's sugarcoated or not doesn't really matter."
"Yeah. Crap with cream on top is still crap."
I start the car, and after a short ride we reach our parents' home. Lilly hasn't said a single word the entire time, which is a bit worrying.
"Okay, we're back. The front door is at twelve o' clock when you get out."
"Thank you."
"Hey Sis, you've been kind of quiet. You... uh... want to talk about this?"
"...Thank you, Akira. But I'd like to think some more first."
We get out and we say our goodbyes, but as Lilly turns around and heads for the front door, I suddenly think of something and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey Sis, I've been thinking... Have you considered the option of accompanying Hanako and Hisao back to Japan? I could drop by the airport and see if I can secure an additional ticket for that particular flight. It might be better than having to put up with stuff like what just happened for an extended amount of time. A premature departure might just send a hint with enough impact to last."
Curiously enough, Lilly doesn't immediately react. Just when I'm about to repeat my question, she unexpectedly shrugs off my hand in an almost mechanical way, and her parting words, uttered just before she opens the front door and walks in, sound cold enough to send a tingle down my spine.
"...have a nice evening, Akira."
The fact that my younger sister gave me the cold shoulder, probably for the first time in her life, takes a moment to sink in, and when I get back in the car I feel exhausted and just a bit unsettled as well. As I start the engine, I let out a weary sigh.
"This situation is getting messier with every passing moment..."
06
"Honor? Give me a break! You think you're some sort of samurai who'll be fondly remembered by everyone who knew him if he bravely dies in the line of duty while serving his lord or something? I bet most people at the office here would have thought of you as a fool. Heh, maybe those guys on the board of directors would have put a memorial plaque in place in your honor at the Japanese branch, assuming the ambulance crew wouldn't have ended up thwarting things."
"What... do... you... mean?"
"You ever thought of what would have happened if Hanako hadn't been there to give you CPR on the spot, but the ambulance team would still have arrived just in time to save some of your basic brain functions? You would have spent the next decade or two mumbling random gibberish at your wife and daughters while they're busy changing your daily diapers. The board members would have denied your very existence out of embarrassment. If you think that's an exaggeration, then maybe we can take a look around here at the hospital. They may have heart attack victims here who weren't as lucky as you've been."
"..."
I can see that his medication hasn't left him fuzzy enough to miss the implication of my comment and he looks uncomfortable upon imagining that scenario. Looks like that wasn't part of his risk calculation after all.
"Besides, this isn't about the last couple of weeks or the last couple of months. You were told you had high blood pressure years ago. Why on earth didn't you take it easier back then?"
"Could... not... afford to... yet..."
"Could not afford to? Even a couple of years ago, you could have retired and lived out the rest of your days in comfort. This was simply about your ego."
"...no way... to... speak to... a parent... Akira. You... show... respect... for once... This was... about... your... education... and... financial future... too. And es... especially... Lilly's."
That excuse again. Lilly looks a bit distressed upon hearing Father's words.
"My financial future, Father?"
"We... have been... setting... trust fund... for your... cial future... during our... time here."
"A trust fund?"
"Yes... so even... in... the long run... you will... always be... well... provided for. Even... if you... would not... find a... husband... at some point, you... would still... be able... to live... without worry, L-Lilly."
Well-provided for? I wonder if he realizes how extremely patronizing he's sounding. Lilly certainly realizes it, too, and I can see an angry expression on her face. She's making an active effort to keep her composure. The sight of her hurt expression suddenly pisses me off to no end, and I sling an angry retort back at the old man.
"She doesn't want your damn trust fund."
"But... she... will... probably... need... it."
Lilly doesn't answer, but I can see the corner of her mouth twitching slightly, and just when I start expecting her to either give Dad a piece of her mind or send him a fake smile, she turns around and walks out of the room without saying a single word. I recover from the surprise sooner than Dad and give him a dirty look.
"When Mom comes here this evening, it'd be smart to treat her with more respect, or you'll burn what might be the last bridge you have left."
And with that, I leave the room and go after my sister who's already half-way down the corridor before I catch up with her.
"Sis?"
Lilly doesn't immediately respond and merely sighs. For a moment I think she's going to turn around and walk back to Dad to apologize to him, but that doesn't happen.
"I'll take you to the car, okay?"
"Yes..."
I allow her to take my sleeve, and we walk back to the parking lot. I notice she seems to move with a little bit more hesitation than before, but she doesn't stop walking for a single moment. We make our way to the car, but before I start the engine I give an exasperated sigh.
"Well, this was certainly illuminating. I wonder if what happened just now is courtesy of those painkillers he's on."
"Do you mean to say he may have... not been himself."
"He wasn't completely out of it or anything, but he was probably a little too fuzzy to be able to carefully choose and weigh his words like he usually does."
"The mindset behind it is still the same though, isn't it? Whether it's sugarcoated or not doesn't really matter."
"Yeah. Crap with cream on top is still crap."
I start the car, and after a short ride we reach our parents' home. Lilly hasn't said a single word the entire time, which is a bit worrying.
"Okay, we're back. The front door is at twelve o' clock when you get out."
"Thank you."
"Hey Sis, you've been kind of quiet. You... uh... want to talk about this?"
"...Thank you, Akira. But I'd like to think some more first."
We get out and we say our goodbyes, but as Lilly turns around and heads for the front door, I suddenly think of something and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey Sis, I've been thinking... Have you considered the option of accompanying Hanako and Hisao back to Japan? I could drop by the airport and see if I can secure an additional ticket for that particular flight. It might be better than having to put up with stuff like what just happened for an extended amount of time. A premature departure might just send a hint with enough impact to last."
Curiously enough, Lilly doesn't immediately react. Just when I'm about to repeat my question, she unexpectedly shrugs off my hand in an almost mechanical way, and her parting words, uttered just before she opens the front door and walks in, sound cold enough to send a tingle down my spine.
"...have a nice evening, Akira."
The fact that my younger sister gave me the cold shoulder, probably for the first time in her life, takes a moment to sink in, and when I get back in the car I feel exhausted and just a bit unsettled as well. As I start the engine, I let out a weary sigh.
"This situation is getting messier with every passing moment..."
06
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 32
Chapter 32
01
My gaze wanders back and forth between the book in front of me and my boyfriend sitting next to me on the couch in the Satou family's living room. Every now and then, I also glance at the doorway leading to the stairway though said doorway is empty every time I look at it.
Earlier this week the incident with Mister Satou cast a permanent shadow over our vacation.
Part of that evening is a bit hazy in my mind. I remember exchanging a scared look with Hisao when Lilly spoke to a doctor on the phone and dropped the word 'cardiologist'. When Lilly went back to the study and we heard a scream, that sensation became ominous, and when Hisao and I followed her and saw her father lying motionless on the floor, somewhere between the table and the doorway, the feeling became something much, much worse.
For just a second it wasn't Lilly's father I saw lying on the ground, but Hisao. And suddenly my mind was filled with the same intense panic and helplessness I felt when Hisao was lying there on the street after accidentally colliding with someone. The flashback only lasted a second or so, but the sense of maddening fear remained even afterwards. The sight of a rapidly panicking Lilly kneeling down at his side managed to reach deep into my own mind, grab a firm hold of my own traumatizing memories and drag them out kicking and screaming. As a result, I became unable to move as my mind started clouding slowly but steadily, even as Hisao rushed to Mister Satou's side.
Things could have taken a turn for the worst there. Lilly's father could have died in front of us with me just standing by, despite my first aid training. If that would have happened, I don't think I'd ever be able to face Lilly again. The fact that that didn't happen was a coincidence I still have trouble wrapping my mind around. As I was trying to fight off a rapidly impending panic attack, I saw Hisao taking Mister Satou's arm and pressing his thumb against the inside and suddenly I heard the voice of my first aid teacher again as he lectured me on that first training day.
Don't use your thumb to take someone's pulse. Your thumb has its own pulse, so you won't get a clear reading. And be sure to press down harder when you're doing compressions. If you have to focus on doing one thing right, focus on the chest compressions.
Hisao was doing it wrong.
That little disconnect from the current situation turned out to be just enough to shake me out of my anxiety-induced paralysis for a moment, and I did the only thing my mind was able to come up with. Shove Lilly and Hisao aside (I later realized I easily could have given Hisao an episode of his own this way) and focus on the motions I painstakingly practiced at the training before my anxiety could take over again. Push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once. I was on the edge of a breakdown the entire time, but as long as could keep these motions going, I wouldn't feel that crushing sense of helplessness, and I could keep teetering on that edge instead of going over it entirely. So I tuned out everything around me in a desperate effort to keep myself together. I vaguely remember hearing Lilly yell something at me and someone, not Hisao, forcefully grabbing me and his face suddenly being close to mine and his shocked stare, and... I think I screamed in fright and flailed my arms at the time as I tried to get away from him.
The next thing I remember that wasn't some fevered blur was me sitting on the bed in our room with Hisao holding me in his arms. Despite the fact that his presence helped, it still took me a long time to stop shaking and calm my nerves to the point where my mind was capable of understanding what Hisao was saying and respond to his words with quick nods and shakes of my head. After convincing himself that another breakdown probably wasn't around the corner, Hisao left the room after telling me to get some sleep. Sleeping was the last thing I felt like doing despite being extremely tired. Nobody has ever gotten nightmares while staring at the ceiling.
Eventually, Hisao returned to tell me he had been on the phone with Lilly who had told him that the doctors at the hospital managed to stabilize her father's condition. Of course, we both knew from experience that 'stabilized' meant nothing more than the fact he wasn't going to die immediately. Still, it was a relief.
The following days were completely spent around the house. Neither Hisao nor I felt it was appropriate to go on any more trips, but we also started feeling that our presence was becoming a burden here. So we spent most of our time in our bedroom reading our remaining books unless Lilly and her mother were out in which case we'd move to the living room. We've been slowly running out of books over the last two days and neither of us felt really comfortable entering the study again. It turned out that Hisao was almost as rattled by what happened to Lilly's father as I was. Given his own heart condition, I can't blame him.
One evening during dinner, Lilly's mother told us that while she wouldn't force us to leave, she saw little point in us sticking around if all we were going to do was sit in our room all day long and read our books. If we had no objections, she'd be able to arrange an earlier flight for Hisao and myself so we'd be able to enjoy what was left of our summer break back in Japan. It was a painful decision since we both really wanted to support Lilly during her moments of need, but on the other hand we were still aware of the fact that Lilly came to Scotland in order to reconcile with her family, and times like these might cause a family to rally together. Our presence might hinder that process.
On the other hand...
I can't shake the feeling that what happened hasn't really done much to bring the family closer together. If anything, the opposite has happened.
Lilly's mother went back to work yesterday. She's spent most of yesterday at the office or at the hospital, and today will probably be similar. Akira told us Karla hadn't known about her husband having high blood pressure either, and she seems very upset with him. I can't say I blame her.
When Lilly went to the hospital together with her mother and Akira to speak to the doctor there and visit her father, something happened that severely upset Lilly. (she didn't give us the details though Akira later summarized it as 'Dad acting stupid') Ever since, Lilly's been very withdrawn, spending most of the day in her room and only coming out to eat dinner with us. I can tell that she's troubled, but whenever Hisao and I went to see her she'd wave off our concerns and tell us that all she needed was a bit more time to think about things.
I'm really worried about her.
I glance at the doorway once more, but as expected Lilly's not there.
I'm starting to get second thoughts about the idea of flying back to Japan tomorrow.
I wish she'd tell us what exactly it is that's troubling her so much.
Rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg - rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg
"Ah!"
My thoughts are interrupted by the sudden ringing of my cell phone. As I look at the display, I see Akira's name. I share a puzzled look with Hisao.
"It's Akira."
"I wonder why she's calling."
Somewhat curious, I pick up the phone and put it to my ear.
"H-Hello? Akira?"
"Yo!"
"Ummm... How are you?"
"I'm okay. I have a little question. Are you busy right now?"
We haven't been really busy since this whole mess started.
"N-No. I'm not. Why?"
"Mom called me and asked if I could come and pick you up. This may come a bit as a surprise, but the old man said he wanted to see you before you leave. And since you and Hisao will be heading back to Japan tomorrow, she said now may be the best moment for that."
"Y-Your father w-wants to see ME?"
"Apparently. If it's not too inconvenient for you guys, I'll be here in ten minutes."
"Ten minutes? Ah... O-okay."
"See ya then."
I give my boyfriend an uneasy look as I put down the phone.
"He wants to see me..."
"Well, since we're heading home tomorrow that's not too surprising. Let's go tell Lilly, okay?"
"Yes."
We put away our books and up the stairs to Lilly's room. Hisao knocks three times and, upon getting no immediate response, gently opens the door to reveal Lilly sitting on her bed, her head slowly turning in our direction as we peek in.
"Lilly?"
"Umm... Lilly?"
Upon hearing our voices, Lilly offers us a gentle smile.
"Hello Hanako, Hisao. I already thought it was you from the way you knocked."
"Hey, Lilly. Aren't you... uh... getting bored from sitting here all day long?"
Lilly gives us a slightly playful smile.
"I could ask you two the same. If things had turned out differently, we'd probably be in Edinburgh right now. I feel really bad about this vacation having taken a turn like this."
"It's okay. We had a lot of fun regardless."
"Yes."
"I'm happy to hear that. I hope the return trip will not be too troublesome for you, Hanako."
"I'm... t-trying not to think about it too much."
"Has any of you been... homesick while you were here?"
"Not me. We haven't had a great deal of opportunity for that."
"I... surprised myself a bit, but I haven't really felt homesick either."
"That's good to hear."
Hisao, realizing the conversation really has gotten derailed, softly scrapes his throat.
"Ahem, the reason we came here was to tell you that we'll be heading for the hospital as soon as Akira gets here. She just called Hanako."
Lilly frowns slightly.
"Akira... called Hanako?"
"Akira said... t-that your father wanted to see me."
Lilly is silent for a moment, but then smiles and nods her head.
"I see. It makes sense that he wants to express his gratitude to you before you leave tomorrow."
"Yeah. Akira said she'd be here in ten minutes, so we'd better hurry up and get ready."
Lilly nods.
"Hanako, Hisao... May I ask you a favor?"
"Of course."
02
"Could you... tell me how he's doing when you get back?"
I exchange a flabbergasted look with Hisao. Neither of us expected this.
"Y-You're not coming with us?"
"He asked for you specifically, didn't he?"
"Akira s-said she'd be here soon if it wasn't too inconvenient for us, so she probably wasn't just talking about m-me."
It's possible she meant Hisao and me, rather than the three of us, but I find that hard to believe.
"I believe that Mother has also visited him today. Having too many people there at the same time would probably be tiring for him."
I shoot Hisao a helpless glance, but he makes an 'I don't know what to do about this either'-gesture. We remain silent for a while, but since Lilly doesn't say anything else, there's probably no point in pressing her. Eventually Hisao sighs softly.
"I guess that's a good point. We'll be going then. We probably won't be gone for very long. We'll be sure to tell you afterwards how he's holding up."
"Thank you, Hisao."
03
Still a bit disturbed by what just happened, the two of us exit Lilly's room and make our way to the front door. After a minute or two, a car comes up the driveway, and Akira beckons us to get in from behind the windshield. Akira gives us a friendly nod as we get in and then turns the car around before driving back onto the road. After a moment of silence, Hisao speaks up.
"Hey, Akira, was the idea for Lilly to come along, or was it really supposed to be just Hanako and me."
"I wouldn't have left her standing on the driveway if she had been waiting there along with you guys, but I'm not going to push her into coming along either."
I notice a sad look in Akira's eyes for a moment.
"So, Akira... Where is this headed?"
"I could be a smart-ass and say Raigmore Hospital, but... I really don't know either how this is gonna play out."
"By the way, why did your mother ask you to pick us up?"
"Apparently there's someone with her, and she has to accompany him to the office immediately afterwards."
She shrugs.
"Probably from the Japanese branch. That upcoming deal in the States is getting lots of people really nervous around here, especially with Dad completely out of the running and Mom barely showing up at the office."
After a short while we arrive at the hospital's parking lot, and we get out of the car and follow Akira inside. As we make our way through the hallways and ride the elevator to the proper floor, I can feel the atmosphere slowly becoming more oppressive. When we get out of the elevator, we see several people in pajamas walking down the corridor, two of them dragging IV poles along with them. I briefly look at Hisao and notice his face has gotten a bit pale.
Despite the hospital atmosphere making me really jittery as well, I take his hand in mine, give it a reassuring squeeze and make an attempt to give him my most encouraging smile. He gives my hand a little squeeze in return, and we share a brief look of mutual understanding. I think it's a good thing Hisao is here. As long as we don't get anywhere near the burn ward (assuming this hospital has one), I'll probably be okay as long as Hisao stays close by.
Akira continues to lead us down the corridor until she suddenly stops and softly whistles between her teeth. Ahead of us is an older Japanese man in a neat business suit who comes walking up to us upon noticing Akira. As he reaches us, he makes a quick bow to which Akira responds with a deep bow of her own.
"Miss Satou. It is a pleasure to see you again. I am terribly sorry for your family situation."
"Mister Kojima. It is good to see you again. Welcome to Scotland. I apologize profusely on my father's behalf for this inconvenience."
"It is not a problem. I apologize for not being able to have made it here sooner."
"We are greatly honored by your presence here in Inverness. I assume that your presence here means that you have been placed in charge of the delegation heading to the US."
He nods gravely, and I see the corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly.
"That is indeed the task that has been entrusted to me by your grandfather and the rest of the board. I could never hope to match up to your father's capabilities, but things are the way they are. It cannot be helped."
"You will do fine."
"Ah... Akira. And Ikezawa and Nakai too. Good afternoon."
We look past the businessman to see Lilly's mother walking up to us. She bows to us, and Akira responds with another graceful bow. Hisao and I look at each other and then bow as well. We're both taken off guard a bit by the sudden formality of the Lilly's mother.
"Good afternoon, Mother. I picked up Ikezawa and Nakai as you asked."
"I appreciate it, Akira. Mister Kojima, these are Ikezawa and Nakai: two friends of my youngest daughter. They've been staying with us for a few weeks along with Lilly. They were with my husband when... it happened. Miss Ikezawa was the person who performed CPR on my husband until the ambulance arrived."
Upon hearing that the man bows again, this time a lot deeper.
"Then you have our everlasting gratitude."
Lilly's mother picks up my nervous fidgeting and steps forward.
"Mister Kojima, I'm terribly sorry, but we should probably go. Mister Ferguson is waiting for us."
"Yes, let us be on our way."
Karla and the man in the business suit say their goodbyes and then walk past us in the direction of the elevator hall. As they walk off, Akira watches them go with a sympathetic look in her eyes.
"I wouldn't wanna trade places with that guy right now."
Hisao scratches his head.
"Who was he? One of the company's bigwigs?"
"My former boss. His name's Koji Kojima. He's in charge of running the Japanese branch. His father's a friend of our grandfather. He and Dad have known each other for a looong time. He occupies the highest position in the company that's not filled by a Satou and ranks directly below Dad. I guess now that Dad's out of the running they told him to finish the job. But this expansion is apparently a process that's been a long time in the making, and the Japanese branch hasn't been heavily involved in it. Yet now he's expected to suddenly pick it up at the last stage. I bet he's facing some tremendous pressure right now. Japanese business culture is all about taking your time to get to know your business parters before you go out and make deals with them. He's pretty much out of his element here."
"You think he can handle it?"
"Let's hope so. I never worked directly under him, so I don't know him very well. He looked kinda nervous when the takeover came up. Oh well, guess we'll find out soon."
"That was kind of jarring, by the way."
"Huh? What was?"
"You... suddenly talking like that. And then switching right back as soon as he's out of earshot. Your mother too."
Akira gives a non-committed shrug.
"I don't know about Mom, but... even though I'm a Satou, I still have to mind my manners at work, just like everyone else. Heck, as the boss' daughter I may even be facing additional scrutiny. If I went around being my usual self around coworkers and superiors, my family name wouldn't save me from being tossed onto the street. So I play my part, just like everyone else."
"It's still a pretty big difference."
"It's called professionalism, kid. You'll find out when you enter the workplace yourself."
01
My gaze wanders back and forth between the book in front of me and my boyfriend sitting next to me on the couch in the Satou family's living room. Every now and then, I also glance at the doorway leading to the stairway though said doorway is empty every time I look at it.
Earlier this week the incident with Mister Satou cast a permanent shadow over our vacation.
Part of that evening is a bit hazy in my mind. I remember exchanging a scared look with Hisao when Lilly spoke to a doctor on the phone and dropped the word 'cardiologist'. When Lilly went back to the study and we heard a scream, that sensation became ominous, and when Hisao and I followed her and saw her father lying motionless on the floor, somewhere between the table and the doorway, the feeling became something much, much worse.
For just a second it wasn't Lilly's father I saw lying on the ground, but Hisao. And suddenly my mind was filled with the same intense panic and helplessness I felt when Hisao was lying there on the street after accidentally colliding with someone. The flashback only lasted a second or so, but the sense of maddening fear remained even afterwards. The sight of a rapidly panicking Lilly kneeling down at his side managed to reach deep into my own mind, grab a firm hold of my own traumatizing memories and drag them out kicking and screaming. As a result, I became unable to move as my mind started clouding slowly but steadily, even as Hisao rushed to Mister Satou's side.
Things could have taken a turn for the worst there. Lilly's father could have died in front of us with me just standing by, despite my first aid training. If that would have happened, I don't think I'd ever be able to face Lilly again. The fact that that didn't happen was a coincidence I still have trouble wrapping my mind around. As I was trying to fight off a rapidly impending panic attack, I saw Hisao taking Mister Satou's arm and pressing his thumb against the inside and suddenly I heard the voice of my first aid teacher again as he lectured me on that first training day.
Don't use your thumb to take someone's pulse. Your thumb has its own pulse, so you won't get a clear reading. And be sure to press down harder when you're doing compressions. If you have to focus on doing one thing right, focus on the chest compressions.
Hisao was doing it wrong.
That little disconnect from the current situation turned out to be just enough to shake me out of my anxiety-induced paralysis for a moment, and I did the only thing my mind was able to come up with. Shove Lilly and Hisao aside (I later realized I easily could have given Hisao an episode of his own this way) and focus on the motions I painstakingly practiced at the training before my anxiety could take over again. Push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once, push 15 times, breathe once. I was on the edge of a breakdown the entire time, but as long as could keep these motions going, I wouldn't feel that crushing sense of helplessness, and I could keep teetering on that edge instead of going over it entirely. So I tuned out everything around me in a desperate effort to keep myself together. I vaguely remember hearing Lilly yell something at me and someone, not Hisao, forcefully grabbing me and his face suddenly being close to mine and his shocked stare, and... I think I screamed in fright and flailed my arms at the time as I tried to get away from him.
The next thing I remember that wasn't some fevered blur was me sitting on the bed in our room with Hisao holding me in his arms. Despite the fact that his presence helped, it still took me a long time to stop shaking and calm my nerves to the point where my mind was capable of understanding what Hisao was saying and respond to his words with quick nods and shakes of my head. After convincing himself that another breakdown probably wasn't around the corner, Hisao left the room after telling me to get some sleep. Sleeping was the last thing I felt like doing despite being extremely tired. Nobody has ever gotten nightmares while staring at the ceiling.
Eventually, Hisao returned to tell me he had been on the phone with Lilly who had told him that the doctors at the hospital managed to stabilize her father's condition. Of course, we both knew from experience that 'stabilized' meant nothing more than the fact he wasn't going to die immediately. Still, it was a relief.
The following days were completely spent around the house. Neither Hisao nor I felt it was appropriate to go on any more trips, but we also started feeling that our presence was becoming a burden here. So we spent most of our time in our bedroom reading our remaining books unless Lilly and her mother were out in which case we'd move to the living room. We've been slowly running out of books over the last two days and neither of us felt really comfortable entering the study again. It turned out that Hisao was almost as rattled by what happened to Lilly's father as I was. Given his own heart condition, I can't blame him.
One evening during dinner, Lilly's mother told us that while she wouldn't force us to leave, she saw little point in us sticking around if all we were going to do was sit in our room all day long and read our books. If we had no objections, she'd be able to arrange an earlier flight for Hisao and myself so we'd be able to enjoy what was left of our summer break back in Japan. It was a painful decision since we both really wanted to support Lilly during her moments of need, but on the other hand we were still aware of the fact that Lilly came to Scotland in order to reconcile with her family, and times like these might cause a family to rally together. Our presence might hinder that process.
On the other hand...
I can't shake the feeling that what happened hasn't really done much to bring the family closer together. If anything, the opposite has happened.
Lilly's mother went back to work yesterday. She's spent most of yesterday at the office or at the hospital, and today will probably be similar. Akira told us Karla hadn't known about her husband having high blood pressure either, and she seems very upset with him. I can't say I blame her.
When Lilly went to the hospital together with her mother and Akira to speak to the doctor there and visit her father, something happened that severely upset Lilly. (she didn't give us the details though Akira later summarized it as 'Dad acting stupid') Ever since, Lilly's been very withdrawn, spending most of the day in her room and only coming out to eat dinner with us. I can tell that she's troubled, but whenever Hisao and I went to see her she'd wave off our concerns and tell us that all she needed was a bit more time to think about things.
I'm really worried about her.
I glance at the doorway once more, but as expected Lilly's not there.
I'm starting to get second thoughts about the idea of flying back to Japan tomorrow.
I wish she'd tell us what exactly it is that's troubling her so much.
Rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg - rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg
"Ah!"
My thoughts are interrupted by the sudden ringing of my cell phone. As I look at the display, I see Akira's name. I share a puzzled look with Hisao.
"It's Akira."
"I wonder why she's calling."
Somewhat curious, I pick up the phone and put it to my ear.
"H-Hello? Akira?"
"Yo!"
"Ummm... How are you?"
"I'm okay. I have a little question. Are you busy right now?"
We haven't been really busy since this whole mess started.
"N-No. I'm not. Why?"
"Mom called me and asked if I could come and pick you up. This may come a bit as a surprise, but the old man said he wanted to see you before you leave. And since you and Hisao will be heading back to Japan tomorrow, she said now may be the best moment for that."
"Y-Your father w-wants to see ME?"
"Apparently. If it's not too inconvenient for you guys, I'll be here in ten minutes."
"Ten minutes? Ah... O-okay."
"See ya then."
I give my boyfriend an uneasy look as I put down the phone.
"He wants to see me..."
"Well, since we're heading home tomorrow that's not too surprising. Let's go tell Lilly, okay?"
"Yes."
We put away our books and up the stairs to Lilly's room. Hisao knocks three times and, upon getting no immediate response, gently opens the door to reveal Lilly sitting on her bed, her head slowly turning in our direction as we peek in.
"Lilly?"
"Umm... Lilly?"
Upon hearing our voices, Lilly offers us a gentle smile.
"Hello Hanako, Hisao. I already thought it was you from the way you knocked."
"Hey, Lilly. Aren't you... uh... getting bored from sitting here all day long?"
Lilly gives us a slightly playful smile.
"I could ask you two the same. If things had turned out differently, we'd probably be in Edinburgh right now. I feel really bad about this vacation having taken a turn like this."
"It's okay. We had a lot of fun regardless."
"Yes."
"I'm happy to hear that. I hope the return trip will not be too troublesome for you, Hanako."
"I'm... t-trying not to think about it too much."
"Has any of you been... homesick while you were here?"
"Not me. We haven't had a great deal of opportunity for that."
"I... surprised myself a bit, but I haven't really felt homesick either."
"That's good to hear."
Hisao, realizing the conversation really has gotten derailed, softly scrapes his throat.
"Ahem, the reason we came here was to tell you that we'll be heading for the hospital as soon as Akira gets here. She just called Hanako."
Lilly frowns slightly.
"Akira... called Hanako?"
"Akira said... t-that your father wanted to see me."
Lilly is silent for a moment, but then smiles and nods her head.
"I see. It makes sense that he wants to express his gratitude to you before you leave tomorrow."
"Yeah. Akira said she'd be here in ten minutes, so we'd better hurry up and get ready."
Lilly nods.
"Hanako, Hisao... May I ask you a favor?"
"Of course."
02
"Could you... tell me how he's doing when you get back?"
I exchange a flabbergasted look with Hisao. Neither of us expected this.
"Y-You're not coming with us?"
"He asked for you specifically, didn't he?"
"Akira s-said she'd be here soon if it wasn't too inconvenient for us, so she probably wasn't just talking about m-me."
It's possible she meant Hisao and me, rather than the three of us, but I find that hard to believe.
"I believe that Mother has also visited him today. Having too many people there at the same time would probably be tiring for him."
I shoot Hisao a helpless glance, but he makes an 'I don't know what to do about this either'-gesture. We remain silent for a while, but since Lilly doesn't say anything else, there's probably no point in pressing her. Eventually Hisao sighs softly.
"I guess that's a good point. We'll be going then. We probably won't be gone for very long. We'll be sure to tell you afterwards how he's holding up."
"Thank you, Hisao."
03
Still a bit disturbed by what just happened, the two of us exit Lilly's room and make our way to the front door. After a minute or two, a car comes up the driveway, and Akira beckons us to get in from behind the windshield. Akira gives us a friendly nod as we get in and then turns the car around before driving back onto the road. After a moment of silence, Hisao speaks up.
"Hey, Akira, was the idea for Lilly to come along, or was it really supposed to be just Hanako and me."
"I wouldn't have left her standing on the driveway if she had been waiting there along with you guys, but I'm not going to push her into coming along either."
I notice a sad look in Akira's eyes for a moment.
"So, Akira... Where is this headed?"
"I could be a smart-ass and say Raigmore Hospital, but... I really don't know either how this is gonna play out."
"By the way, why did your mother ask you to pick us up?"
"Apparently there's someone with her, and she has to accompany him to the office immediately afterwards."
She shrugs.
"Probably from the Japanese branch. That upcoming deal in the States is getting lots of people really nervous around here, especially with Dad completely out of the running and Mom barely showing up at the office."
After a short while we arrive at the hospital's parking lot, and we get out of the car and follow Akira inside. As we make our way through the hallways and ride the elevator to the proper floor, I can feel the atmosphere slowly becoming more oppressive. When we get out of the elevator, we see several people in pajamas walking down the corridor, two of them dragging IV poles along with them. I briefly look at Hisao and notice his face has gotten a bit pale.
Despite the hospital atmosphere making me really jittery as well, I take his hand in mine, give it a reassuring squeeze and make an attempt to give him my most encouraging smile. He gives my hand a little squeeze in return, and we share a brief look of mutual understanding. I think it's a good thing Hisao is here. As long as we don't get anywhere near the burn ward (assuming this hospital has one), I'll probably be okay as long as Hisao stays close by.
Akira continues to lead us down the corridor until she suddenly stops and softly whistles between her teeth. Ahead of us is an older Japanese man in a neat business suit who comes walking up to us upon noticing Akira. As he reaches us, he makes a quick bow to which Akira responds with a deep bow of her own.
"Miss Satou. It is a pleasure to see you again. I am terribly sorry for your family situation."
"Mister Kojima. It is good to see you again. Welcome to Scotland. I apologize profusely on my father's behalf for this inconvenience."
"It is not a problem. I apologize for not being able to have made it here sooner."
"We are greatly honored by your presence here in Inverness. I assume that your presence here means that you have been placed in charge of the delegation heading to the US."
He nods gravely, and I see the corner of his mouth twitch ever so slightly.
"That is indeed the task that has been entrusted to me by your grandfather and the rest of the board. I could never hope to match up to your father's capabilities, but things are the way they are. It cannot be helped."
"You will do fine."
"Ah... Akira. And Ikezawa and Nakai too. Good afternoon."
We look past the businessman to see Lilly's mother walking up to us. She bows to us, and Akira responds with another graceful bow. Hisao and I look at each other and then bow as well. We're both taken off guard a bit by the sudden formality of the Lilly's mother.
"Good afternoon, Mother. I picked up Ikezawa and Nakai as you asked."
"I appreciate it, Akira. Mister Kojima, these are Ikezawa and Nakai: two friends of my youngest daughter. They've been staying with us for a few weeks along with Lilly. They were with my husband when... it happened. Miss Ikezawa was the person who performed CPR on my husband until the ambulance arrived."
Upon hearing that the man bows again, this time a lot deeper.
"Then you have our everlasting gratitude."
Lilly's mother picks up my nervous fidgeting and steps forward.
"Mister Kojima, I'm terribly sorry, but we should probably go. Mister Ferguson is waiting for us."
"Yes, let us be on our way."
Karla and the man in the business suit say their goodbyes and then walk past us in the direction of the elevator hall. As they walk off, Akira watches them go with a sympathetic look in her eyes.
"I wouldn't wanna trade places with that guy right now."
Hisao scratches his head.
"Who was he? One of the company's bigwigs?"
"My former boss. His name's Koji Kojima. He's in charge of running the Japanese branch. His father's a friend of our grandfather. He and Dad have known each other for a looong time. He occupies the highest position in the company that's not filled by a Satou and ranks directly below Dad. I guess now that Dad's out of the running they told him to finish the job. But this expansion is apparently a process that's been a long time in the making, and the Japanese branch hasn't been heavily involved in it. Yet now he's expected to suddenly pick it up at the last stage. I bet he's facing some tremendous pressure right now. Japanese business culture is all about taking your time to get to know your business parters before you go out and make deals with them. He's pretty much out of his element here."
"You think he can handle it?"
"Let's hope so. I never worked directly under him, so I don't know him very well. He looked kinda nervous when the takeover came up. Oh well, guess we'll find out soon."
"That was kind of jarring, by the way."
"Huh? What was?"
"You... suddenly talking like that. And then switching right back as soon as he's out of earshot. Your mother too."
Akira gives a non-committed shrug.
"I don't know about Mom, but... even though I'm a Satou, I still have to mind my manners at work, just like everyone else. Heck, as the boss' daughter I may even be facing additional scrutiny. If I went around being my usual self around coworkers and superiors, my family name wouldn't save me from being tossed onto the street. So I play my part, just like everyone else."
"It's still a pretty big difference."
"It's called professionalism, kid. You'll find out when you enter the workplace yourself."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 32 - cont.
We leave it at that and follow Akira down the hallway until she strolls into one of the rooms. As we peer through the doorway, we can see that the curtains around the bed are closed, and we can hear a female voice from behind the curtain.
04
"There, I think we're done for today. It might itch a little bit, but please try not to touch it."
Akira gestures us to stay put, walks into the room and opens the curtain a bit.
"Yo!"
Akira's greeting is met by a tortured cough.
"Ah, it seems you have a visitor, Mister Satou."
"Is this an inconvenient time to drop by?"
"I don't think it is. I just finished changing the dressing of his incision and checking the incision for possible infections. Everything seems to be in order, so I'll be on my way."
"Okay."
A middle-aged nurse appears from behind the curtain and leaves the room. I make sure to partially hide behind Hisao as she walks by. Akira now steps behind the curtain so we can't see her anymore, though we can still hear her.
"You look a little sharper than before, but also a bit more uncomfortable. Have you cut back on the painkillers?"
"I... will... take some... more this... evening."
"Mom and Kojima were just here, weren't they? Will you even be able to handle more visitors right now?"
"Never... mind... that... Lilly... not... here?"
"Nope. Why? Have you already thought up an apology then?"
"A-Apology?"
"For insulting her. Lilly came to Inverness to repair the family bond that you two shattered and you reward her by insulting her independence. How do you think she feels about that?"
"I... did... not... insult her..."
"If you really believe that then you're even more out of touch with her than I thought. Heck, how many years has it been since you gave some serious thought about how she feels about things?"
"What... do... you... m-mean?"
"Why on earth did you summon her here, asking her to give up everything important she had in Japan, after keeping her at a comfortable distance for six years? Maybe because you thought you could use her to act as a glue for your fledgling marriage?"
"Our... marriage... is... fine..."
"Nonsense. You two were hardly part of each other's life outside of working hours. I've learned that much already."
"And yet... we... were... fine. And what... mean... by... comfortable... d-distance?"
"You and Mom were bothered with Lilly's blindness. Her disability was a source of shame for you. When you and Mom came here, you had to keep up appearances and play the perfect high-class couple. A blind child would have tarnished that image, so you callously left her behind. Your reputation was more important to you than your own daughter's well-being."
Akira's harsh words have barely left her mouth when the heartbeat monitor in the room suddenly starts beeping faster and louder, and for a moment I consider running off to get a nurse.
05
"AKIRA... SATOU! *cough* TAKE BACK... THOSE WORDS *cough* OR LEAVE... MY... SIGHT!"
I cringe as I hear Lilly's father react to Akira's accusation. Lilly told me that he suffered several rib fractures. Breathing must be painful for him, let alone speaking. Raising his voice like that must be excruciating. And yet, despite the tortured tone, his voice carries an air of authority that manages to even silence Akira for a moment.
"..."
"Well...?"
"So you deny it?"
"If there... is... a s-source... of shame... for... me... right... now... it is... you for m-making... these a-accusations... against... a parent."
"Then why did you have Mom join you here while you left Lilly behind, huh?"
"Your... mother... needed to... be here... and Lilly's... education... was... important... like I... told you... a hundred... times."
"That's just an excuse."
"If I... truly... valued my... reputation... over her... well-being... I would have... taken her along."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You will... understand... in time."
"I don't believe you."
"I... stake my... personal honor... on it. Now... t-take back... what you... said."
"Hmph."
"Fine. Then... cling to your... conspiracy... theories. No doubt... you have... been poisoning... Lilly's mind... with them... for years... as... well."
"Believe it or not, but she's always been unreasonably loyal to you."
"No doubt... you have... shared... your impressions... with her... many times."
"That doesn't mean..."
"I think... I know... enough."
It's kind of striking how quickly Akira's father turned the conversation around and put his daughter on the defensive.
"You don't know anything about her or me. That's your problem."
"This is going... in circles."
"Fine, I didn't come here to argue anyway."
"Then why... did you... come?"
"Huh? You don't know? You asked Mom about Hanako."
"So I... did."
"Mom called me and asked me to take her to you."
I'm startled by a sudden spike in the sound of the heart monitor, but before I can determine what to do, a hand suddenly covers my mouth and Hisao quickly pulls me back and around the nearby corner. A few seconds later, I hear the sound of a curtain being forcefully yanked back. Hisao takes his hand off of me, puts his finger to his lips and lets out a soft 'ssshh' in order to reinforce the point. I quickly nod to indicate I understand that we're supposed to be quiet. After a short while, we can hear the beeps of the heart monitor slowing down. We're still close enough to the doorway to pick up Akira's voice.
"Uh, she and Hisao are in the waiting area."
I hear a sigh of relief coming from the room.
Hisao nods and we quietly sneak off towards the place Akira mentioned. We both sit down and wait for our hearts to stop racing. That was really close. A little while later, Akira comes walking into the area with an uneasy expression on her face.
"Hey! How long have you guys been here?"
Hisao gives her an annoyed look.
"We decided to go and wait here a second or two before your father pulled back that curtain. You're very lucky I realized in time what your father was going to do. I hope you're able to appreciate that."
Akira looks a bit ashamed and nods.
"Yeah, thanks a lot. You really saved my ass back there. Anyway, he's ready to see you."
I get up to follow Akira back to her father's room, but Hisao remains seated while giving Akira a large frown.
"Uh... Akira. It's probably not my place to lecture you on this, but..."
"I have a pretty thick skin, Hisao. If you want to speak your mind then go ahead and tell me what you want to say."
"Well uh... I don't think that discussion between you and your father was really something Hanako and I were supposed to be part of. I don't really understand what you were trying to achieve by starting that argument with him with us nearby. I mean... if your father would have found out that we were listening in all the time, he probably would have been extremely upset. Without wanting to take sides or point out who's right or wrong, one thing the doctors probably told your father was that he had to avoid stress for the time being. Ah... Speaking as a heart patient, your actions were probably kind of rash."
"Hmmm..."
"Uh... Please don't take this as me accusing you of trying to kill him or anything."
Akira grins her familiar grin at Hisao's last remark.
"Hehehe, that's probably a little bit dramatic, don't you think?"
She runs a hand through her hair and shrugs.
"To be honest, I wasn't trying to achieve anything. I just screwed up. That's the best explanation I can offer. I promise I'll keep my mouth shut while you're talking with the old man. Is that enough of a reassurance?"
"Yeah, it'll do."
I nod to indicate my agreement.
"Then it's a deal. Let's go see him then. He's probably wondering what's keeping me."
06
We head back to Mister Satou's room and this time follow Akira inside. With the curtains opened, I get my first look at him since that dreadful evening.
It's a day and night difference.
I've only ever seen him wearing a neat business suit and glasses, and he carried an air of formality wherever he went. Wearing old-fashioned pajamas, not having his glasses on and with a bandaged chest barely visible underneath his night attire, he looks anything but formal and dignified. Making it even worse are the drops of sweat on his forehead, perhaps the result of his verbal stand-off with Akira. The one thing that remained the same about him is the sharp look in his eyes.
Is this what Hisao looked like when he was hospitalized? I shudder a bit at the thought.
Hisao and I stand in front of the bed and make a polite bow. Lilly's father gives an appreciative nod to acknowledge our presence.
"Miss... Ikezawa... Mister... Nakai."
"Hello sir. How are you feeling?"
"H-Hello."
"I... apologize... cutting... vacation short. This is... not... my... best... moment... as a... host."
"It's okay. This vacation has b-been very special to me."
"To me as well. We'll both treasure the times we had here, even without Edinburgh."
"That is... good t-to hear. Before... you... leave... tomor... row, I wanted... to wish you... safe journey... back."
It's hard to see him make such an obviously painful effort to speak.
"You d-don't have to talk if it hurts to speak."
"I will... get to... the point then. I... have heard... what... happened... from the... doctors... and from... my wife. The doctors... called me... lucky, but..."
This time his eyes look directly at me, causing me to flinch.
"...It...would be... an insult... to you... to... credit... just... luck, Miss... Ikezawa."
"I... didn't really do much. The people you should be thanking are the d-doctors and ambulance people."
"Your... humility... does you... credit... Yet... it was... you who... asked Lilly... to call... a doctor. And... it was... you who... kept my... heart going... until the... ambulance... arrived."
"They arrived p-pretty quickly, b-but..."
"But... probably... not soon... enough to... prevent... b-brain damage. The... idea...o f being... in a... vegetative... state... and a... permanent... b-burden on my... family... is more... terrifying... than death. If you... did not... save my life... you saved... something... more... important. You saved... my... dignity."
I'm not really sure what to say in response to that. I've never handled praise very well, so I merely fidget in place while staring at the floor.
"It seems... I now... owe you... a great... debt. I believe... repaying you... in some... way... is the... right thing... to do."
"Repaying m-me?"
Akira sighs.
"How on earth do you repay someone for a life?"
Mister Satou gives Akira a short stare.
"You... should... already... know... after all... these years."
"Hmph."
Then he turns his head back to me.
"It is... true. Something... like... this is... difficult to pay back. But... certainly... there is... something I... can do... back."
"I... c-can't really think of anything."
"There is... no need... to... answer... here... and now. Take... your time... and do... not... be humble. I am... not lacking... in... means."
I'm not really sure how to answer. I get the impression he's expecting me to ask for something big. Am I really supposed to come up with something? And will I insult him if what I'd ask for isn't expensive enough? Like if I asked for a flashy laptop, would he feel like I insinuated that his life's not worth more than a mere laptop? How complicated.
Besides, there are important things that money can't buy. Things like happiness and a family. He of all people should be more than aware of that right now.
If Lilly's upset with him, I doubt any amount of money would cause her to change her mind.
Lilly...
I wonder if I could simply ask him to apologize to Lilly as a way to thank me. If he insulted Lilly's independence like Akira claimed then she's probably angry with him, but since she came here to bond with her parents, I doubt she'd reject an apology. I suppose he really is out of touch with his daughters, but perhaps out of touch is all he is, and he still cares about Lilly and Akira in his own way. He did reschedule an already busy week just to take us to Edinburgh.
But then again, wouldn't he be insulted if I told him to apologize for a family matter I'm not even supposed to be involved in? I suppose an apology for a life is a bargain, but then again he did say he valued his dignity more than his life. Ugh.
Maybe I could be more subtle about it. Open the door for him, but leave it up to him to walk through.
Would that even be enough?
Maybe.
07
"Ummm... Uh..."
"Yes?"
"I... uh... d-don't really n-need anything in r-return. Because... y-you being alive is... already enough of a r-reward."
"Even... though we... barely know... each other?"
"I k-know... ah... I k-know... I... I... k-know..."
Suddenly a big lump in jumps into my throat, and I breathe in and out several times before I can continue. This is something that really hurts to say out loud.
"I k-know... what it's l-like t-to... l-lose p-parents..."
He looks at me with an expression that either contains sympathy or pity.
"My... condo... lences... for... your... loss."
"That's why... T-that's why I'm... really happy that Lilly doesn't h-have to go t-through that herself."
"You... are... quite close... to my... daughter, are... you... not?"
"She's a very special person to me. I... l-love her very much."
"I see."
"Ummm... C-can I p-please ask y-you a f-favor?"
"Have you... already... though of... something?"
I meekly shake my head.
"N-No, but… I would... like to t-talk to you about Lilly a bit. Will you... listen t-to me?"
"I will."
"Ummm..."
I rack my brain in an attempt to figure out what I should tell him about my best friend.
"Lilly is... the k-kindest person I know. I didn't know her during my f-first year, because I don't interact with m-many people. But then she c-came to live in the dorm room next to m-mine, and one evening I heard her comforting a friend who was f-feeling down. I was... feeling a little d-down and lonely myself back t-then, so I visited her, hoping to have a bit of c-company who wasn't going to s-stare at me. I was too n-nervous to speak the first few t-times, but even though I c-couldn't answer anything she asked about or react t-to anything she said, she was f-friendly and hospitable to me and made me f-feel welcome. When I went back to my r-room that first evening, she told m-me that she was hoping that I'd visit her again s-soon even though she didn't even k-know my name."
"I later l-learned that her c-comforting a friend wasn't unusual for her. She has always b-been a bit of a mother figure for her class who would offer emotional s-support whenever someone n-needed it. Most of her class r-really looks up to her."
"In a m-manner of speaking, as Lilly herself would s-say."
"That's probably why she's been c-class representative for nearly 3 years. But I think that's also b-because Lilly is very independent even c-compared to her classmates that have p-partial eyesight."
I fidget a bit before continuing.
"L-Last w-week you t-thanked me for looking after L-Lilly, b-but... that's not how things are at all. I h-hope that I can someday look out f-for her too, but the t-truth is that ever since I've m-met her, it's been Lilly who's b-been looking after me."
"I can c-cook a bit myself, but ever since w-we met, Lilly often c-cooks for both of us. I hope to b-be as good at it as she is s-some day. She also t-taught me m-many other things, like how to d-dance or f-fold c-cranes out of p-paper."
Hisao takes this moment to interrupt.
"You shouldn't sell yourself short, Hanako. I don't believe Lilly knew how to play chess before she met you."
"I... s-suppose not. It's fun to p-play against her, so I'm happy she p-picked it up so quickly."
She's not an extremely challenging opponent, but I wouldn't even be able to finish a game if I kept my eyes closed, so it's still impressive.
I take out my phone and show it to him.
"This is a g-gift from my best friends. The pretty phone s-strap is a present from Hisao, but the phone itself is f-from Lilly. She wanted it to be a s-surprise, so she went into the city on her own to p-pick it out for me."
I could still bring up Lilly's activities in the student council, but I'd rather avoid the subject of her relationship with Shizune. Not really knowing how to proceed, I fall silent and blush. Hisao, sensing that I've hit a dead end, speaks up again.
"I can confirm, sir, that everything Hanako just said is true. I think she's trying to ask you to..."
Mister Satou, who until now has been listening with his eyes closed as if trying to concentrate and weigh every word I just stammered, opens his eyes and makes a gesture to indicate there's no need for Hisao to continue.
08
"I think... I... understand... what... she... wishes to... tell me..."
He turns his gaze back to me.
"Miss... Ikezawa... thank you... for... telling... me... all this..."
"Ummm..."
"I... presume... you... would... like me... to... think... about... what... you... said?"
I manage a barely visible nod.
"Then... I will... if you... also... think... about... what I... said."
"O-Okay."
He nods.
"Then... I will... not... take more... of your... time and... I... wish you... two a... safe... journey... home."
"Thank you sir. May you have a swift recovery."
"Y-Yes... ah... g-get better soon."
We both make a polite bow and prepare to leave the room, but just as we're about to walk through the doorway, I hear Mister Satou's voice one more time.
"Miss... Ikezawa...?"
"Uh... Y-yes?"
"Did you... not... just say... that you... were... hoping to... one day... look out... for... Lilly?"
"Y-Yes."
For a split-second there's an amused smile on his face.
"I think... you... did... exactly... that... just... now."
04
"There, I think we're done for today. It might itch a little bit, but please try not to touch it."
Akira gestures us to stay put, walks into the room and opens the curtain a bit.
"Yo!"
Akira's greeting is met by a tortured cough.
"Ah, it seems you have a visitor, Mister Satou."
"Is this an inconvenient time to drop by?"
"I don't think it is. I just finished changing the dressing of his incision and checking the incision for possible infections. Everything seems to be in order, so I'll be on my way."
"Okay."
A middle-aged nurse appears from behind the curtain and leaves the room. I make sure to partially hide behind Hisao as she walks by. Akira now steps behind the curtain so we can't see her anymore, though we can still hear her.
"You look a little sharper than before, but also a bit more uncomfortable. Have you cut back on the painkillers?"
"I... will... take some... more this... evening."
"Mom and Kojima were just here, weren't they? Will you even be able to handle more visitors right now?"
"Never... mind... that... Lilly... not... here?"
"Nope. Why? Have you already thought up an apology then?"
"A-Apology?"
"For insulting her. Lilly came to Inverness to repair the family bond that you two shattered and you reward her by insulting her independence. How do you think she feels about that?"
"I... did... not... insult her..."
"If you really believe that then you're even more out of touch with her than I thought. Heck, how many years has it been since you gave some serious thought about how she feels about things?"
"What... do... you... m-mean?"
"Why on earth did you summon her here, asking her to give up everything important she had in Japan, after keeping her at a comfortable distance for six years? Maybe because you thought you could use her to act as a glue for your fledgling marriage?"
"Our... marriage... is... fine..."
"Nonsense. You two were hardly part of each other's life outside of working hours. I've learned that much already."
"And yet... we... were... fine. And what... mean... by... comfortable... d-distance?"
"You and Mom were bothered with Lilly's blindness. Her disability was a source of shame for you. When you and Mom came here, you had to keep up appearances and play the perfect high-class couple. A blind child would have tarnished that image, so you callously left her behind. Your reputation was more important to you than your own daughter's well-being."
Akira's harsh words have barely left her mouth when the heartbeat monitor in the room suddenly starts beeping faster and louder, and for a moment I consider running off to get a nurse.
05
"AKIRA... SATOU! *cough* TAKE BACK... THOSE WORDS *cough* OR LEAVE... MY... SIGHT!"
I cringe as I hear Lilly's father react to Akira's accusation. Lilly told me that he suffered several rib fractures. Breathing must be painful for him, let alone speaking. Raising his voice like that must be excruciating. And yet, despite the tortured tone, his voice carries an air of authority that manages to even silence Akira for a moment.
"..."
"Well...?"
"So you deny it?"
"If there... is... a s-source... of shame... for... me... right... now... it is... you for m-making... these a-accusations... against... a parent."
"Then why did you have Mom join you here while you left Lilly behind, huh?"
"Your... mother... needed to... be here... and Lilly's... education... was... important... like I... told you... a hundred... times."
"That's just an excuse."
"If I... truly... valued my... reputation... over her... well-being... I would have... taken her along."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You will... understand... in time."
"I don't believe you."
"I... stake my... personal honor... on it. Now... t-take back... what you... said."
"Hmph."
"Fine. Then... cling to your... conspiracy... theories. No doubt... you have... been poisoning... Lilly's mind... with them... for years... as... well."
"Believe it or not, but she's always been unreasonably loyal to you."
"No doubt... you have... shared... your impressions... with her... many times."
"That doesn't mean..."
"I think... I know... enough."
It's kind of striking how quickly Akira's father turned the conversation around and put his daughter on the defensive.
"You don't know anything about her or me. That's your problem."
"This is going... in circles."
"Fine, I didn't come here to argue anyway."
"Then why... did you... come?"
"Huh? You don't know? You asked Mom about Hanako."
"So I... did."
"Mom called me and asked me to take her to you."
I'm startled by a sudden spike in the sound of the heart monitor, but before I can determine what to do, a hand suddenly covers my mouth and Hisao quickly pulls me back and around the nearby corner. A few seconds later, I hear the sound of a curtain being forcefully yanked back. Hisao takes his hand off of me, puts his finger to his lips and lets out a soft 'ssshh' in order to reinforce the point. I quickly nod to indicate I understand that we're supposed to be quiet. After a short while, we can hear the beeps of the heart monitor slowing down. We're still close enough to the doorway to pick up Akira's voice.
"Uh, she and Hisao are in the waiting area."
I hear a sigh of relief coming from the room.
Hisao nods and we quietly sneak off towards the place Akira mentioned. We both sit down and wait for our hearts to stop racing. That was really close. A little while later, Akira comes walking into the area with an uneasy expression on her face.
"Hey! How long have you guys been here?"
Hisao gives her an annoyed look.
"We decided to go and wait here a second or two before your father pulled back that curtain. You're very lucky I realized in time what your father was going to do. I hope you're able to appreciate that."
Akira looks a bit ashamed and nods.
"Yeah, thanks a lot. You really saved my ass back there. Anyway, he's ready to see you."
I get up to follow Akira back to her father's room, but Hisao remains seated while giving Akira a large frown.
"Uh... Akira. It's probably not my place to lecture you on this, but..."
"I have a pretty thick skin, Hisao. If you want to speak your mind then go ahead and tell me what you want to say."
"Well uh... I don't think that discussion between you and your father was really something Hanako and I were supposed to be part of. I don't really understand what you were trying to achieve by starting that argument with him with us nearby. I mean... if your father would have found out that we were listening in all the time, he probably would have been extremely upset. Without wanting to take sides or point out who's right or wrong, one thing the doctors probably told your father was that he had to avoid stress for the time being. Ah... Speaking as a heart patient, your actions were probably kind of rash."
"Hmmm..."
"Uh... Please don't take this as me accusing you of trying to kill him or anything."
Akira grins her familiar grin at Hisao's last remark.
"Hehehe, that's probably a little bit dramatic, don't you think?"
She runs a hand through her hair and shrugs.
"To be honest, I wasn't trying to achieve anything. I just screwed up. That's the best explanation I can offer. I promise I'll keep my mouth shut while you're talking with the old man. Is that enough of a reassurance?"
"Yeah, it'll do."
I nod to indicate my agreement.
"Then it's a deal. Let's go see him then. He's probably wondering what's keeping me."
06
We head back to Mister Satou's room and this time follow Akira inside. With the curtains opened, I get my first look at him since that dreadful evening.
It's a day and night difference.
I've only ever seen him wearing a neat business suit and glasses, and he carried an air of formality wherever he went. Wearing old-fashioned pajamas, not having his glasses on and with a bandaged chest barely visible underneath his night attire, he looks anything but formal and dignified. Making it even worse are the drops of sweat on his forehead, perhaps the result of his verbal stand-off with Akira. The one thing that remained the same about him is the sharp look in his eyes.
Is this what Hisao looked like when he was hospitalized? I shudder a bit at the thought.
Hisao and I stand in front of the bed and make a polite bow. Lilly's father gives an appreciative nod to acknowledge our presence.
"Miss... Ikezawa... Mister... Nakai."
"Hello sir. How are you feeling?"
"H-Hello."
"I... apologize... cutting... vacation short. This is... not... my... best... moment... as a... host."
"It's okay. This vacation has b-been very special to me."
"To me as well. We'll both treasure the times we had here, even without Edinburgh."
"That is... good t-to hear. Before... you... leave... tomor... row, I wanted... to wish you... safe journey... back."
It's hard to see him make such an obviously painful effort to speak.
"You d-don't have to talk if it hurts to speak."
"I will... get to... the point then. I... have heard... what... happened... from the... doctors... and from... my wife. The doctors... called me... lucky, but..."
This time his eyes look directly at me, causing me to flinch.
"...It...would be... an insult... to you... to... credit... just... luck, Miss... Ikezawa."
"I... didn't really do much. The people you should be thanking are the d-doctors and ambulance people."
"Your... humility... does you... credit... Yet... it was... you who... asked Lilly... to call... a doctor. And... it was... you who... kept my... heart going... until the... ambulance... arrived."
"They arrived p-pretty quickly, b-but..."
"But... probably... not soon... enough to... prevent... b-brain damage. The... idea...o f being... in a... vegetative... state... and a... permanent... b-burden on my... family... is more... terrifying... than death. If you... did not... save my life... you saved... something... more... important. You saved... my... dignity."
I'm not really sure what to say in response to that. I've never handled praise very well, so I merely fidget in place while staring at the floor.
"It seems... I now... owe you... a great... debt. I believe... repaying you... in some... way... is the... right thing... to do."
"Repaying m-me?"
Akira sighs.
"How on earth do you repay someone for a life?"
Mister Satou gives Akira a short stare.
"You... should... already... know... after all... these years."
"Hmph."
Then he turns his head back to me.
"It is... true. Something... like... this is... difficult to pay back. But... certainly... there is... something I... can do... back."
"I... c-can't really think of anything."
"There is... no need... to... answer... here... and now. Take... your time... and do... not... be humble. I am... not lacking... in... means."
I'm not really sure how to answer. I get the impression he's expecting me to ask for something big. Am I really supposed to come up with something? And will I insult him if what I'd ask for isn't expensive enough? Like if I asked for a flashy laptop, would he feel like I insinuated that his life's not worth more than a mere laptop? How complicated.
Besides, there are important things that money can't buy. Things like happiness and a family. He of all people should be more than aware of that right now.
If Lilly's upset with him, I doubt any amount of money would cause her to change her mind.
Lilly...
I wonder if I could simply ask him to apologize to Lilly as a way to thank me. If he insulted Lilly's independence like Akira claimed then she's probably angry with him, but since she came here to bond with her parents, I doubt she'd reject an apology. I suppose he really is out of touch with his daughters, but perhaps out of touch is all he is, and he still cares about Lilly and Akira in his own way. He did reschedule an already busy week just to take us to Edinburgh.
But then again, wouldn't he be insulted if I told him to apologize for a family matter I'm not even supposed to be involved in? I suppose an apology for a life is a bargain, but then again he did say he valued his dignity more than his life. Ugh.
Maybe I could be more subtle about it. Open the door for him, but leave it up to him to walk through.
Would that even be enough?
Maybe.
07
"Ummm... Uh..."
"Yes?"
"I... uh... d-don't really n-need anything in r-return. Because... y-you being alive is... already enough of a r-reward."
"Even... though we... barely know... each other?"
"I k-know... ah... I k-know... I... I... k-know..."
Suddenly a big lump in jumps into my throat, and I breathe in and out several times before I can continue. This is something that really hurts to say out loud.
"I k-know... what it's l-like t-to... l-lose p-parents..."
He looks at me with an expression that either contains sympathy or pity.
"My... condo... lences... for... your... loss."
"That's why... T-that's why I'm... really happy that Lilly doesn't h-have to go t-through that herself."
"You... are... quite close... to my... daughter, are... you... not?"
"She's a very special person to me. I... l-love her very much."
"I see."
"Ummm... C-can I p-please ask y-you a f-favor?"
"Have you... already... though of... something?"
I meekly shake my head.
"N-No, but… I would... like to t-talk to you about Lilly a bit. Will you... listen t-to me?"
"I will."
"Ummm..."
I rack my brain in an attempt to figure out what I should tell him about my best friend.
"Lilly is... the k-kindest person I know. I didn't know her during my f-first year, because I don't interact with m-many people. But then she c-came to live in the dorm room next to m-mine, and one evening I heard her comforting a friend who was f-feeling down. I was... feeling a little d-down and lonely myself back t-then, so I visited her, hoping to have a bit of c-company who wasn't going to s-stare at me. I was too n-nervous to speak the first few t-times, but even though I c-couldn't answer anything she asked about or react t-to anything she said, she was f-friendly and hospitable to me and made me f-feel welcome. When I went back to my r-room that first evening, she told m-me that she was hoping that I'd visit her again s-soon even though she didn't even k-know my name."
"I later l-learned that her c-comforting a friend wasn't unusual for her. She has always b-been a bit of a mother figure for her class who would offer emotional s-support whenever someone n-needed it. Most of her class r-really looks up to her."
"In a m-manner of speaking, as Lilly herself would s-say."
"That's probably why she's been c-class representative for nearly 3 years. But I think that's also b-because Lilly is very independent even c-compared to her classmates that have p-partial eyesight."
I fidget a bit before continuing.
"L-Last w-week you t-thanked me for looking after L-Lilly, b-but... that's not how things are at all. I h-hope that I can someday look out f-for her too, but the t-truth is that ever since I've m-met her, it's been Lilly who's b-been looking after me."
"I can c-cook a bit myself, but ever since w-we met, Lilly often c-cooks for both of us. I hope to b-be as good at it as she is s-some day. She also t-taught me m-many other things, like how to d-dance or f-fold c-cranes out of p-paper."
Hisao takes this moment to interrupt.
"You shouldn't sell yourself short, Hanako. I don't believe Lilly knew how to play chess before she met you."
"I... s-suppose not. It's fun to p-play against her, so I'm happy she p-picked it up so quickly."
She's not an extremely challenging opponent, but I wouldn't even be able to finish a game if I kept my eyes closed, so it's still impressive.
I take out my phone and show it to him.
"This is a g-gift from my best friends. The pretty phone s-strap is a present from Hisao, but the phone itself is f-from Lilly. She wanted it to be a s-surprise, so she went into the city on her own to p-pick it out for me."
I could still bring up Lilly's activities in the student council, but I'd rather avoid the subject of her relationship with Shizune. Not really knowing how to proceed, I fall silent and blush. Hisao, sensing that I've hit a dead end, speaks up again.
"I can confirm, sir, that everything Hanako just said is true. I think she's trying to ask you to..."
Mister Satou, who until now has been listening with his eyes closed as if trying to concentrate and weigh every word I just stammered, opens his eyes and makes a gesture to indicate there's no need for Hisao to continue.
08
"I think... I... understand... what... she... wishes to... tell me..."
He turns his gaze back to me.
"Miss... Ikezawa... thank you... for... telling... me... all this..."
"Ummm..."
"I... presume... you... would... like me... to... think... about... what... you... said?"
I manage a barely visible nod.
"Then... I will... if you... also... think... about... what I... said."
"O-Okay."
He nods.
"Then... I will... not... take more... of your... time and... I... wish you... two a... safe... journey... home."
"Thank you sir. May you have a swift recovery."
"Y-Yes... ah... g-get better soon."
We both make a polite bow and prepare to leave the room, but just as we're about to walk through the doorway, I hear Mister Satou's voice one more time.
"Miss... Ikezawa...?"
"Uh... Y-yes?"
"Did you... not... just say... that you... were... hoping to... one day... look out... for... Lilly?"
"Y-Yes."
For a split-second there's an amused smile on his face.
"I think... you... did... exactly... that... just... now."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:37 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 33
Chapter 33
01
"Will you be the one seeing us off, or should we say our goodbyes right now?"
For a moment it appears as if Akira didn't hear Hisao's question.
"What? Oh, if possible I'll try to be at the airport when you guys leave. It was eight o' clock in the morning, right?"
"That's right. We'll hope to see you tomorrow then."
We get out of Akira's car and wait for her response. She's been awfully quiet since we left the hospital after paying a visit to her father.
"Yeah..."
"Is everything alright?"
Seems like Hisao also noticed Akira's voice trailing off.
"Yeah, I'm alright. I was thinking it's probably not worth it to return to the office. Maybe I'll just go and get some fresh air. Take a little walk along the bay shore."
"That sounds good."
"I think I wouldn't mind a bit of company."
"Do you want us to come with you?"
"If it's okay, I'd like to borrow Hanako for a bit."
She turns to me.
"You don't mind, do ya?"
"M-Me?"
Hisao makes a face.
"Just Hanako?"
"Yup. Girl talk."
"I didn't know you liked that."
"Hey!"
Akira glares at Hisao and then rolls her eyes.
"From time to time."
I wonder if that's all there is to it. Akira obviously wants to talk about something with me in private. I'm just not sure what it could be. I have to admit it piques my curiosity a bit.
"Ummm... Okay, I'll come with you."
Hisao shrugs.
"Guess I'll just go and continue packing our stuff in preparation for tomorrow."
"Thanks."
As Hisao turns around and disappears into the house, Akira and I walk down the driveway, cross the road and walk up to the shore. This area has slowly started becoming familiar terrain to me as well. The sound of the shore tends to put my mind at ease. Maybe the same is true for Akira.
"You... like this place?"
"When Lilly and I first visited here, I'd often take a little walks along the shore whenever I didn't feel like hanging around the house. Most of the time alone, but sometimes Lilly would come with me, and we'd talk about... stuff. This place makes you relax, doesn't it?"
"It does. I... used to come here daily to write in my journal."
"Right, Lilly mentioned that. But I'm picking up a past tense here. Did you stop writing?"
The last few days have been a bit... uneventful, and the one major thing that has happened is s-something I'd rather forget as soon as possible."
Akira gives me a playful grin.
"That major thing you're trying to forget about involves you saving an old man from what was probably either death or existence as a vegetable. And from what I learned today, he seems awfully determined to not let ya forget about that, no matter how hard you're gonna try."
"Do you... think he was serious?"
"Oh yeah, definitely. In fact, I was secretly hoping you'd ask for something like half of the family fortune or something equally outragous. You know, just to see how far you could stretch that gratitude of his."
"I don't want that sort of thing."
"Hmmm?"
"I read a book once, about a man who won the lottery. And suddenly... everyone wanted to be his friend. He didn't even know who his real friends were anymore, because everyone just seemed to want to take advantage of his new-found wealth. I... would hate for something like that to happen to me. It w-would... drive me crazy."
"Well, it's true that as convenient as it is, money can't buy you happiness. I speak from experience. Still, maybe you can think of something. Heh, if you don't want the old man to keep stalking you for the rest of your life, that is."
"Uhhhh..."
"Relax, I was only joking. Still, I doubt this is the last you'll hear about this. Dad's got this old-fashioned 'you saved my life, so now it belongs to you forevermore'-type of samurai mindset going."
Akira's exaggerated eyerolling makes me giggle a bit.
"It's actually a rather... romantic mindset, don't you think?"
"Only if you ignore the secondary implications of that kinda mindset."
"Secondary implications?"
"Since a child owes her life to her parents, she's obliged to show livelong respect and reverence to them no matter how badly they deserve the opposite. No doubt Dad sincerely believes that. Heck, he couldn't resist rubbing it in my face during your visit."
I think I remember what she's talking about.
"So... that's what he meant."
Akira bends down and picks up a few smooth stones. She flicks one away, and I see it bounce along the water surface several times before it sinks.
Splash - splash - splash
"I must be coming across as very petty, complaining so much about my parents to a person who no longer has her own."
I cringe a bit. Even after all this time, Akira's statement of the obvious still hurts inside.
"It's o-okay."
"Ya know... Hisao probably had a point when we were at the hospital. I wouldn't blame you if you agreed with him."
It comes across as weird for the usually up-beat and assertive Akira to suddenly sound this way.
"I'm not s-sure. M-Maybe, but you... probably have your reasons."
Akira nods absentmindedly and flings another stone along the surface before sitting down on a large rock near the shore.
Splash - splash - splash
02
"You know, this has been a very weird time for me. Over the last six years, I can't say my life's been very easy, but it was fairly stable at least. After Mom and Dad left and our grandparents moved to a place more suitable for Granddad's dwindling health, I ended up concentrating completely on both my job and looking after Lilly. Nothing else mattered. Eventually, I ended up cutting both Mom and Dad out of my thoughts for the most part. Aside from the money that was wired to our account on a monthly basis and the increasingly rare phone calls, I started feeling like they didn't really exist anymore. I considered the matter dead and buried. It was easier this way."
She absentmindedly tosses one of the stones in her hand in the air and then catches it again.
"What I've learned over the last couple of weeks was that the matter may have been buried, but it was far from dead. After six long years, Mom and Dad were suddenly part of my daily life again and acting like nothing friggin happened. As you can see, I haven't been dealing with that very well... at all."
She gives me a guilty look as I sit down next to her.
"When I told you guys in the hospital that I simply screwed up, that was the truth. I didn't really mean to start a fight with the old man when he was in such a sorry state, but... well... it simply happened anyway. I guess that... there are a lot of buried grievances suddenly clawing their way back to the surface."
"Like... them l-leaving."
"Uhuh..."
She sighs.
"To be completely honest, it's not just bad memories I have of them. There's been a few good ones too. Like the annual New Year, when our parents, our grandparents, Lilly and I would visit a shrine to pray for good luck the upcoming year and play games afterwards. Also our trips to the summer house..."
"The one we visited?"
"It was a different one back then, but in the same area. The three, and later the four, of us would go there from time to time and that was also the place where Lilly and I'd get in touch with the British part of our heritage. Our own home was kind of traditional, but the summer house was more like... Well, the residences here in the UK. We'd speak English all the time, eat with cutlery instead of chopsticks, and Mom would read us Scottish folk tales or parables as bedtime stories. It was also like... that intangible pressure I often felt didn't exist there. The atmosphere was simply different. Dad and especially Mom seemed different. Of course, things'd revert to normal the moment we got in the car, but I still have good memories of those times, even though they became more and more rare as Dad advanced up the corporate ladder."
"...pressure?"
"Before our parents allowed me to make my own barber appointments, I used to have slightly longer hair. Other than that though, I've always been the way I am now. In other words, a long shot away from the kind of person the daughter of an upstanding family is supposed to be."
"Your p-parents d-disapproved of who y-you were?"
"It's always been kind of subtle. It's not like they weren't nice to me, but there was often that subtle undertone of sadness like they were expecting me to be more... I dunno... elegant... lady-like... the whole shebang. For a long time I felt like they expected something of me, but I didn't know exactly what that something was. I found out eventually what that was as Lilly grew up. I think in the end Mom and Dad always rued the fact that I couldn't be more like Lilly."
I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach as I attempt to determine if there's any bitterness in Akira's words. If she felt like she lived in Lilly's shadow, how does she feel about her sister?
"Uhhh... H-how d-do you feel about Lilly?"
Akira sees the distressed look on my face and lets out a reassuring chuckle.
"I guess lots of people would grow to secretly resent their sibling in that case, wouldn't they? Interestingly enough that never happened with me. Besides, it's not like Lilly was the perfect daughter to Mom and Dad or they wouldn't have left her behind six years ago."
Splash - splash - splash - splash
"I think the reason we've always been so close is due to the fact I often spent time looking after Lilly, even when our parents still lived in Japan. Mom often asked me to keep an eye on my sister. And there was the fact that while I've often felt a bit like an outsider even in my own family, Lilly was nevertheless always unconditionally accepting of me."
Splash - splash - splash
"Probably one of the very few I can say that about."
Splash - splash
"She was also a really cute kid when she was younger. If I'd show you a picture of her when she was like three, you'd probably develop a girl-crush on her in an instant."
Splash - splash - splash
"Heh."
Akira's light-hearted remark about toddler-Lilly's cuteness was probably meant to lighten the mood, but it doesn't draw my attention away from the rest of her words, especially since this is a sensitive issue for me myself. Didn't Akira make school friends or something? She's pretty sociable, if a bit rough. I always imagined her to have lots of friends, like Lilly.
"Uh... Akira... H-how about y-your school days?"
Splash - splash - splash - splash
"Elementary school was... I think mixed is the right word. Heh, get it?"
"Uh... N-no."
"Sorry, didn't have time to make up a better punchline. Anyway, in the same way I've always been a bit of an outsider in the family, I've also been a bit of an outsider at school."
"Outsider?"
"When I started attending elementary school, I quickly discovered that I was the only kid in the school with a biracial background. I found that there were few convenient things about standing out in a crowd like that, but several downsides. Some of the reactions I'd get were amusing in a stupid way. Like others asking me how on earth I was able to speak Japanese or being amazed that my blood was red like theirs instead of yellow. Other times less funny things happened.."
"You were... b-b-bullied?"
"Picked on, from time to time. I mean, I looked pretty different from the rest, so I naturally attracted attention from all sorts of kids. Now, before you start worrying about me, let me say that I've always been pretty strong for my size, and back in elementary school, I could even take on many of the boys. Bullies don't like running the risk of a black eye when they pull their crap. So all in all things hardly ever truly escalated since I wasn't an easy target."
"That's... g-good."
I'm happy for Akira she that was able to stand up for herself like that, though it also makes me feel inadequate myself. I was never able to stand up for myself. Akira takes a brief look at me and seems to guess my thoughts. A sympathetic expression appears on her face.
"No such luck for you, huh?"
I meekly shake my head. When I was finally released from the hospital, I was still learning how to use my right arm for even basic stuff like lifting and opening a lunchbox. In addition, my scars and the pressure garments I was forced to wear day and night for the first few years made my movements stiff and awkward. Any physical confrontation, even with kids younger than me, would have been over within seconds.
"Figures. I think from the moment I first met you there was something in your eyes and body language that told me you were given a hard time at school."
How do you respond to that? I merely nod my head. Suddenly, my depressing train of thought is interrupted by a hand on my shoulder.
"Ya know... uh... Even though Lilly's usually the one to do this kind of thing, I just wanted to tell you that if you ever wanna talk to someone about this sort of thing, I'm there as well. Don't be a stranger."
Akira puts on a slightly awkward but sincere smile on, and I can't resist smiling back for a moment. I'm not sure if I'd ever accept Akira's offer, but her gesture of emotional support nevertheless feels extremely good to me.
"T-Thank you."
After confirming that my mood has cleared a bit, Akira continues.
"Anyway, I can't say my elementary school time was smooth surfin', but aside from the occasional incident every now and then, I was okay. I was still able to hang out with other kids from time to time, though I didn't really make any deep friendships. Then again, a lot of friendships in that time are kinda shallow anyway. I mean, kids in that phase of their lives often become friends simply because they sit next to each other in class or wear the same color ribbon in their hair, not because their personalities are extremely compatible."
"Ummm... Akira?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh... D-did Lilly ever... get... picked on?"
"I was really worried about that myself when she started attending school, but I don't think that ever happened, and thank heavens for that. Due to her blindness, teachers were always keeping a close eye on her, and two random students from her class were picked every day to help her out with... whatever she couldn't do herself. Sometimes I felt weird about that arrangement, almost as if Lilly was the class pet instead of a classmate, but in practice it probably meant she wasn't an easy target for bullies since she was hardly ever unsupervised. I also think... well... most students eventually forgot about it."
"Forgot?"
"You know what the funny thing is about the labels we human beings tend to stick on others? We usually pick one label and run with it, ignoring everything else about a person. In this case, I think people were so focussed on the very obvious fact that Lilly was blind, they quickly forgot that she was half-foreign. It's weird, but I think it played a role."
I wonder what label ended up sticking in people's minds for me. The one about my burn scars or my disfunctional behavior.
"Anyway, by the time I was about to leave elementary school, I wasn't having that many conflicts anymore, and I was keeping my fingers crossed that things wouldn't get difficult once I'd get into middle school. Turns out I was right to worry."
"You... went to the same school as Lilly, d-didn't you?"
"Yeah. It was expensive, prestigious, all-girls and hella strict. The worst place to be for someone like me in other words. I spent a large part of elementary school playing mostly with boys. Lots of stuff people thought of as typical girl-stuff didn't really interest me. When I was suddenly thrown into Princess U, it wasn't just my mixed blood that made me stand out, but everything else about me as well. I was suddenly having run-ins with obnoxious fellow-students and teachers alike left and right. Less than three weeks into the first year, I was already firmly stuck into the pariah role. Those were some very lonely and miserable three years, let me tell ya."
Looks like I wasn't the only one whose middle school time was hard.
"Didn't you t-tell your parents how you f-felt?"
"Surely you don't think they tossed me into a friggin Japanese wife factory by accident? They were probably simply tired of relying on subtle correction attempts all the time, so they tried a more drastic method of molding me into a better daughter. Of course I told them that I hated it there, but all they said was to please hang in there and keep going. Dad even had the audacity to suggest that this was in my best interests and that I'd be grateful one day. It's been about ten years since I was released from that hellhole, and so far I haven't had any sudden epiphanies of gratitude."
It's a little frightening how bitter Akira sounds, but there's one thing that scares me more than her tone.
"Ummm... J-Japanese wife factory? D-Does that m-mean that Lilly...?"
Akira's expression turns genuinely remorseful.
"Sorry, I kind of went overboard with my venting. I didn't mean to imply anything about Lilly. To reassure you; middle school gave Lilly an additional layer of classy manners, but underneath she's still the same person she's always been. I still wouldn't have sent her there myself, but I'm relieved that she doesn't have the same horrid memories I have of that place."
01
"Will you be the one seeing us off, or should we say our goodbyes right now?"
For a moment it appears as if Akira didn't hear Hisao's question.
"What? Oh, if possible I'll try to be at the airport when you guys leave. It was eight o' clock in the morning, right?"
"That's right. We'll hope to see you tomorrow then."
We get out of Akira's car and wait for her response. She's been awfully quiet since we left the hospital after paying a visit to her father.
"Yeah..."
"Is everything alright?"
Seems like Hisao also noticed Akira's voice trailing off.
"Yeah, I'm alright. I was thinking it's probably not worth it to return to the office. Maybe I'll just go and get some fresh air. Take a little walk along the bay shore."
"That sounds good."
"I think I wouldn't mind a bit of company."
"Do you want us to come with you?"
"If it's okay, I'd like to borrow Hanako for a bit."
She turns to me.
"You don't mind, do ya?"
"M-Me?"
Hisao makes a face.
"Just Hanako?"
"Yup. Girl talk."
"I didn't know you liked that."
"Hey!"
Akira glares at Hisao and then rolls her eyes.
"From time to time."
I wonder if that's all there is to it. Akira obviously wants to talk about something with me in private. I'm just not sure what it could be. I have to admit it piques my curiosity a bit.
"Ummm... Okay, I'll come with you."
Hisao shrugs.
"Guess I'll just go and continue packing our stuff in preparation for tomorrow."
"Thanks."
As Hisao turns around and disappears into the house, Akira and I walk down the driveway, cross the road and walk up to the shore. This area has slowly started becoming familiar terrain to me as well. The sound of the shore tends to put my mind at ease. Maybe the same is true for Akira.
"You... like this place?"
"When Lilly and I first visited here, I'd often take a little walks along the shore whenever I didn't feel like hanging around the house. Most of the time alone, but sometimes Lilly would come with me, and we'd talk about... stuff. This place makes you relax, doesn't it?"
"It does. I... used to come here daily to write in my journal."
"Right, Lilly mentioned that. But I'm picking up a past tense here. Did you stop writing?"
The last few days have been a bit... uneventful, and the one major thing that has happened is s-something I'd rather forget as soon as possible."
Akira gives me a playful grin.
"That major thing you're trying to forget about involves you saving an old man from what was probably either death or existence as a vegetable. And from what I learned today, he seems awfully determined to not let ya forget about that, no matter how hard you're gonna try."
"Do you... think he was serious?"
"Oh yeah, definitely. In fact, I was secretly hoping you'd ask for something like half of the family fortune or something equally outragous. You know, just to see how far you could stretch that gratitude of his."
"I don't want that sort of thing."
"Hmmm?"
"I read a book once, about a man who won the lottery. And suddenly... everyone wanted to be his friend. He didn't even know who his real friends were anymore, because everyone just seemed to want to take advantage of his new-found wealth. I... would hate for something like that to happen to me. It w-would... drive me crazy."
"Well, it's true that as convenient as it is, money can't buy you happiness. I speak from experience. Still, maybe you can think of something. Heh, if you don't want the old man to keep stalking you for the rest of your life, that is."
"Uhhhh..."
"Relax, I was only joking. Still, I doubt this is the last you'll hear about this. Dad's got this old-fashioned 'you saved my life, so now it belongs to you forevermore'-type of samurai mindset going."
Akira's exaggerated eyerolling makes me giggle a bit.
"It's actually a rather... romantic mindset, don't you think?"
"Only if you ignore the secondary implications of that kinda mindset."
"Secondary implications?"
"Since a child owes her life to her parents, she's obliged to show livelong respect and reverence to them no matter how badly they deserve the opposite. No doubt Dad sincerely believes that. Heck, he couldn't resist rubbing it in my face during your visit."
I think I remember what she's talking about.
"So... that's what he meant."
Akira bends down and picks up a few smooth stones. She flicks one away, and I see it bounce along the water surface several times before it sinks.
Splash - splash - splash
"I must be coming across as very petty, complaining so much about my parents to a person who no longer has her own."
I cringe a bit. Even after all this time, Akira's statement of the obvious still hurts inside.
"It's o-okay."
"Ya know... Hisao probably had a point when we were at the hospital. I wouldn't blame you if you agreed with him."
It comes across as weird for the usually up-beat and assertive Akira to suddenly sound this way.
"I'm not s-sure. M-Maybe, but you... probably have your reasons."
Akira nods absentmindedly and flings another stone along the surface before sitting down on a large rock near the shore.
Splash - splash - splash
02
"You know, this has been a very weird time for me. Over the last six years, I can't say my life's been very easy, but it was fairly stable at least. After Mom and Dad left and our grandparents moved to a place more suitable for Granddad's dwindling health, I ended up concentrating completely on both my job and looking after Lilly. Nothing else mattered. Eventually, I ended up cutting both Mom and Dad out of my thoughts for the most part. Aside from the money that was wired to our account on a monthly basis and the increasingly rare phone calls, I started feeling like they didn't really exist anymore. I considered the matter dead and buried. It was easier this way."
She absentmindedly tosses one of the stones in her hand in the air and then catches it again.
"What I've learned over the last couple of weeks was that the matter may have been buried, but it was far from dead. After six long years, Mom and Dad were suddenly part of my daily life again and acting like nothing friggin happened. As you can see, I haven't been dealing with that very well... at all."
She gives me a guilty look as I sit down next to her.
"When I told you guys in the hospital that I simply screwed up, that was the truth. I didn't really mean to start a fight with the old man when he was in such a sorry state, but... well... it simply happened anyway. I guess that... there are a lot of buried grievances suddenly clawing their way back to the surface."
"Like... them l-leaving."
"Uhuh..."
She sighs.
"To be completely honest, it's not just bad memories I have of them. There's been a few good ones too. Like the annual New Year, when our parents, our grandparents, Lilly and I would visit a shrine to pray for good luck the upcoming year and play games afterwards. Also our trips to the summer house..."
"The one we visited?"
"It was a different one back then, but in the same area. The three, and later the four, of us would go there from time to time and that was also the place where Lilly and I'd get in touch with the British part of our heritage. Our own home was kind of traditional, but the summer house was more like... Well, the residences here in the UK. We'd speak English all the time, eat with cutlery instead of chopsticks, and Mom would read us Scottish folk tales or parables as bedtime stories. It was also like... that intangible pressure I often felt didn't exist there. The atmosphere was simply different. Dad and especially Mom seemed different. Of course, things'd revert to normal the moment we got in the car, but I still have good memories of those times, even though they became more and more rare as Dad advanced up the corporate ladder."
"...pressure?"
"Before our parents allowed me to make my own barber appointments, I used to have slightly longer hair. Other than that though, I've always been the way I am now. In other words, a long shot away from the kind of person the daughter of an upstanding family is supposed to be."
"Your p-parents d-disapproved of who y-you were?"
"It's always been kind of subtle. It's not like they weren't nice to me, but there was often that subtle undertone of sadness like they were expecting me to be more... I dunno... elegant... lady-like... the whole shebang. For a long time I felt like they expected something of me, but I didn't know exactly what that something was. I found out eventually what that was as Lilly grew up. I think in the end Mom and Dad always rued the fact that I couldn't be more like Lilly."
I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach as I attempt to determine if there's any bitterness in Akira's words. If she felt like she lived in Lilly's shadow, how does she feel about her sister?
"Uhhh... H-how d-do you feel about Lilly?"
Akira sees the distressed look on my face and lets out a reassuring chuckle.
"I guess lots of people would grow to secretly resent their sibling in that case, wouldn't they? Interestingly enough that never happened with me. Besides, it's not like Lilly was the perfect daughter to Mom and Dad or they wouldn't have left her behind six years ago."
Splash - splash - splash - splash
"I think the reason we've always been so close is due to the fact I often spent time looking after Lilly, even when our parents still lived in Japan. Mom often asked me to keep an eye on my sister. And there was the fact that while I've often felt a bit like an outsider even in my own family, Lilly was nevertheless always unconditionally accepting of me."
Splash - splash - splash
"Probably one of the very few I can say that about."
Splash - splash
"She was also a really cute kid when she was younger. If I'd show you a picture of her when she was like three, you'd probably develop a girl-crush on her in an instant."
Splash - splash - splash
"Heh."
Akira's light-hearted remark about toddler-Lilly's cuteness was probably meant to lighten the mood, but it doesn't draw my attention away from the rest of her words, especially since this is a sensitive issue for me myself. Didn't Akira make school friends or something? She's pretty sociable, if a bit rough. I always imagined her to have lots of friends, like Lilly.
"Uh... Akira... H-how about y-your school days?"
Splash - splash - splash - splash
"Elementary school was... I think mixed is the right word. Heh, get it?"
"Uh... N-no."
"Sorry, didn't have time to make up a better punchline. Anyway, in the same way I've always been a bit of an outsider in the family, I've also been a bit of an outsider at school."
"Outsider?"
"When I started attending elementary school, I quickly discovered that I was the only kid in the school with a biracial background. I found that there were few convenient things about standing out in a crowd like that, but several downsides. Some of the reactions I'd get were amusing in a stupid way. Like others asking me how on earth I was able to speak Japanese or being amazed that my blood was red like theirs instead of yellow. Other times less funny things happened.."
"You were... b-b-bullied?"
"Picked on, from time to time. I mean, I looked pretty different from the rest, so I naturally attracted attention from all sorts of kids. Now, before you start worrying about me, let me say that I've always been pretty strong for my size, and back in elementary school, I could even take on many of the boys. Bullies don't like running the risk of a black eye when they pull their crap. So all in all things hardly ever truly escalated since I wasn't an easy target."
"That's... g-good."
I'm happy for Akira she that was able to stand up for herself like that, though it also makes me feel inadequate myself. I was never able to stand up for myself. Akira takes a brief look at me and seems to guess my thoughts. A sympathetic expression appears on her face.
"No such luck for you, huh?"
I meekly shake my head. When I was finally released from the hospital, I was still learning how to use my right arm for even basic stuff like lifting and opening a lunchbox. In addition, my scars and the pressure garments I was forced to wear day and night for the first few years made my movements stiff and awkward. Any physical confrontation, even with kids younger than me, would have been over within seconds.
"Figures. I think from the moment I first met you there was something in your eyes and body language that told me you were given a hard time at school."
How do you respond to that? I merely nod my head. Suddenly, my depressing train of thought is interrupted by a hand on my shoulder.
"Ya know... uh... Even though Lilly's usually the one to do this kind of thing, I just wanted to tell you that if you ever wanna talk to someone about this sort of thing, I'm there as well. Don't be a stranger."
Akira puts on a slightly awkward but sincere smile on, and I can't resist smiling back for a moment. I'm not sure if I'd ever accept Akira's offer, but her gesture of emotional support nevertheless feels extremely good to me.
"T-Thank you."
After confirming that my mood has cleared a bit, Akira continues.
"Anyway, I can't say my elementary school time was smooth surfin', but aside from the occasional incident every now and then, I was okay. I was still able to hang out with other kids from time to time, though I didn't really make any deep friendships. Then again, a lot of friendships in that time are kinda shallow anyway. I mean, kids in that phase of their lives often become friends simply because they sit next to each other in class or wear the same color ribbon in their hair, not because their personalities are extremely compatible."
"Ummm... Akira?"
"Yeah?"
"Uh... D-did Lilly ever... get... picked on?"
"I was really worried about that myself when she started attending school, but I don't think that ever happened, and thank heavens for that. Due to her blindness, teachers were always keeping a close eye on her, and two random students from her class were picked every day to help her out with... whatever she couldn't do herself. Sometimes I felt weird about that arrangement, almost as if Lilly was the class pet instead of a classmate, but in practice it probably meant she wasn't an easy target for bullies since she was hardly ever unsupervised. I also think... well... most students eventually forgot about it."
"Forgot?"
"You know what the funny thing is about the labels we human beings tend to stick on others? We usually pick one label and run with it, ignoring everything else about a person. In this case, I think people were so focussed on the very obvious fact that Lilly was blind, they quickly forgot that she was half-foreign. It's weird, but I think it played a role."
I wonder what label ended up sticking in people's minds for me. The one about my burn scars or my disfunctional behavior.
"Anyway, by the time I was about to leave elementary school, I wasn't having that many conflicts anymore, and I was keeping my fingers crossed that things wouldn't get difficult once I'd get into middle school. Turns out I was right to worry."
"You... went to the same school as Lilly, d-didn't you?"
"Yeah. It was expensive, prestigious, all-girls and hella strict. The worst place to be for someone like me in other words. I spent a large part of elementary school playing mostly with boys. Lots of stuff people thought of as typical girl-stuff didn't really interest me. When I was suddenly thrown into Princess U, it wasn't just my mixed blood that made me stand out, but everything else about me as well. I was suddenly having run-ins with obnoxious fellow-students and teachers alike left and right. Less than three weeks into the first year, I was already firmly stuck into the pariah role. Those were some very lonely and miserable three years, let me tell ya."
Looks like I wasn't the only one whose middle school time was hard.
"Didn't you t-tell your parents how you f-felt?"
"Surely you don't think they tossed me into a friggin Japanese wife factory by accident? They were probably simply tired of relying on subtle correction attempts all the time, so they tried a more drastic method of molding me into a better daughter. Of course I told them that I hated it there, but all they said was to please hang in there and keep going. Dad even had the audacity to suggest that this was in my best interests and that I'd be grateful one day. It's been about ten years since I was released from that hellhole, and so far I haven't had any sudden epiphanies of gratitude."
It's a little frightening how bitter Akira sounds, but there's one thing that scares me more than her tone.
"Ummm... J-Japanese wife factory? D-Does that m-mean that Lilly...?"
Akira's expression turns genuinely remorseful.
"Sorry, I kind of went overboard with my venting. I didn't mean to imply anything about Lilly. To reassure you; middle school gave Lilly an additional layer of classy manners, but underneath she's still the same person she's always been. I still wouldn't have sent her there myself, but I'm relieved that she doesn't have the same horrid memories I have of that place."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 12:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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- Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2012 12:42 am
Chapter 33 - cont.
Splash - splash - splash - splash
"Well, as you can see things between me and the folks weren't exactly peachy even before they left Japan, but things might have worked out if they hadn't upped and left just like that."
"You were... 19 when they left, right?"
"Yeah. It was after I graduated from high school, which was fortunately not the same kind of place middle school was. I didn't really know what I wanted to do afterwards. Dad pulled a string or two at the company, and I was allowed to work at the legal department of SMT as a secretary. Back then there were apparently already office rumors about a big change being in the wings."
"Your parents moving?"
"It was a little more complicated than that. Back then, Granddad was still in charge of the company, though he was ill during the last months before the big change. Eventually Granddad revealed his plans for the company's future at the dinner table. He and his brothers on the board of directors wanted to expand our clientèle, but we weren't having a lot of success getting a foot in the door in China. Business was booming in Inverness though, and the people there were doing a good job getting the European mainland to warm up to our brand. So the board made the decision to make Inverness the new headquarters and have the Japanese branch concentrate completely on the domestic market from that point on. Of course, a Satou had to be in charge of headquarters, and that's how Dad finally got his promotion to number 1 executive of the company. A promotion and a plane ticket. He immediately accepted the offer, too. He said he was honored by the responsibility placed on him. I wonder if he even considered how Lilly must have felt. I remember everybody applauding. I wondered even back then how many of those ovations were actually real."
Splash - splash - splash
"The actual shocker came during his visit to Japan a few weeks after moving to Inverness. It turned out that he was going to live there permanently, and he mentioned Mom's help being needed in Scotland and that she'd need to come along with him for some time. The board apparently already approved. Heh, 'for some time' being a euphemism for forever. The true bombshell was when we were told that Lilly had to stay behind. For her education, so to speak. She was gonna lose her parents for a friggin education. At least that was the story."
SPLOOSH
I'm startled by an unusually loud splash. That must have been quite a rock she just threw.
"You still don't believe it?"
"I'm not sure what to make of Dad's reaction, but one thing I know for sure is that there are also prestigious private schools in the UK. I don't think the quality of her education was a good argument to leave her in Japan. Heck, and judging from what the old man said the other day, he wasn't even expecting Lilly to get a job anyway, even with that education."
She shrugs and gives me a sad look.
"Ya know, I always thought there was something creepy about Yamaku, or rather the idea behind it. It's like this place in the middle of nowhere so 'proper society' doesn't have to see or hear those attending there. I still wonder if Mom and Dad didn't rue the fact that Lilly couldn't be shoved there until she finished middle school."
"I... actually like that about Yamaku. M-Middle school was h-hard for me. I'm n-not sure w-what would have happened at an ordinary high school. M-Maybe something terrible. I... didn't function all that well at Yamaku, but at least I wasn't b-bullied anymore. I'm... r-really thankful for that."
Akira thinks for a moment.
"I never really thought much about that. I guess it's a good point, though it didn't apply to Lilly."
I don't really have an answer to that, so I decide to shift the conversation to the earlier subject.
"A-Anyway, after your parents left... you... decided to look after her?"
"Either I stayed with her or she'd be left with an ailing grandmother and grandfather. Shizune's family wasn't an option. Dad and Shizune's Dad hate each other. He wouldn't have permitted it."
"W-What are y-your grandparents like?"
"To be honest, I never really knew Granddad. He was at work even more often than Dad was. Of course, he ranked higher than Dad. On Sundays he'd be out golfing with business pals or reading in his study. The rest of the days he was at work or hanging out with co-workers. The company was his life as well since he stayed at its helm for a very long time, even though he could have retired years earlier. He even considered it a few years earlier, before ultimately reconsidering. He was a pretty heavy smoker, and it came back to bite him six years ago when he developed lung cancer. He was lucky they discovered it before it spread, but they still ended up removing a part of his right lung and with it an equally large part of his stamina. Grandpa and Grandma used to live in the same neighborhood as ours in a house on a rather large incline with stone steps leading up to the front door. After his surgery, it'd take him half an hour just to reach his own porch. Even Lilly could run circles around him at that point. So he and Grandma moved to another town, and we haven't had much contact with them ever since."
Splash - splash - splash
"As for Grandma, when I was a child she'd drop by our home on a daily basis. She was nice enough. She was formal, polite, proper and friendly, but also a bit distant and stoic. She was more responsible than Mom though. She'd always be the one to take me to the park to play when I was a kid. She was also the one who went to PTA meetings during Lilly's elementary school years instead of Mom. Heh, somehow Mom always managed to come up with a reason to be busy with something else. Thinking back on it, it's possible she was already going her own way even then, just on a smaller scale although ironically she didn't really get out of the house much back then. I remember Grandma scolding her about it a few times. Heh, of course when I asked Grandma about that, I got a major scolding myself about how impolite it is to listen in. She was pretty strict, all in all."
Akira toys with one of her locks of hair for a moment.
"Save for a few bad periods once in a while, Grandma's always been in pretty good health, but after Granddad's surgery, her physical condition took a nosedive as well. High blood pressure, ulcers, shortness of breath. I guess his condition hit her harder than any of us expected. Between her declining health and the fallout of grandpa's surgery, I didn't feel it was responsible to leave Lilly in their care. Of course, it's not like I was really all that more fit as a caretaker..."
"I think Lilly would disagree. You did a r-really good job l-looking after her while..."
I pause for a moment. If Akira left for a job right after high school, when did she earn her law degree? Akira seems to read my mind as I trail off and smirks.
"You're wondering how I became a lawyer without visiting a university, right?"
I nod.
"Before 2004, becoming a lawyer in Japan didn't require a university degree. All you had to do was pass the official bar exam, which... heh... had a 3% passage rate at the time. While at work I heard a couple of guys at our department going on about taking a shot at it. It gave me the idea to give it a try myself, which was naturally met with ridicule. But I figured that if I could pass it, I'd be able to get a career without having to attend some university located somewhere far away from my home and my sister."
"You p-passed such a difficult exam without having attended a university?"
Just how much of a genius is Akira if she pulled that off?
"Without a university, but not without preparation. There are cram schools that specialize in preparing people for that particular exam. I attended one before taking the exam."
A sad and slightly guilty look appears on Akira's face.
"I didn't think Dad was going to sponsor an attempt like that, so Lilly suggested letting go of our housekeeping staff and using the money Mom and Dad wired us every month to employ them to get me into one of those cram schools. She was already a lot more independent at the time, but I still had a bad feeling about it. Eventually she managed to convince me to give it a try, and I gave in after swearing a solemn oath to her that if things became too much for her, I'd drop everything immediately and we'd go right back to the way things were. I ended up passing the bar exam on the first try, apparently being one of the few ones who pulled that off."
"W-Wow."
"In order to officially practice as a lawyer, I would have had to spent over a year training at the Supreme Court's training center in Tokyo, but since that involved leaving Lilly behind, I passed on that. Practically speaking, it wasn't a big loss since they focus almost completely on litigation training there anyway and hardly spend any time on contract drafting and other corporate practices. I could do my job as a corporate lawyer even without it. Officially, it did mean I probably wouldn't be able to do my job at any place other than the family company. Still, I promised myself to spend all the free time I had with Lilly if I passed the bar exam, and I did my best to keep it. She was the one who was rooting for me and making sacrifices for me that entire time. It was the least thing I could do back."
"I've... always been a b-bit envious of how c-close you and Lilly are."
"I suppose that with our parents out of the picture we were the only true constants in each other's lives for a long time. That creates a bond. But bonds have to be maintained too. And right now I can't shake the feeling that our bond used to be in a better condition than it is now..."
Splash - splash - splash - splash - splash - splash
I'm distracted for a moment by a particularly skillful throw on Akira's part, and it takes me several seconds to digest what she just said.
"W-Wait! What?"
Akira doesn't immediately respond and merely puts a few flat stones in my hand.
"Go ahead and have a try yourself. It's not that difficult when you get a feeling for it."
Splash
'Not that difficult' is probably still pretty subjective.
Splash
"You gotta throw sideways a bit. Make them spin like a discus. As long as they keep spinning, they keep bouncing."
Splash
"Maybe you ought to try using your left hand instead of your right."
That might work. My left wrist is a lot more supple than my right.
Splash - splash
"See?"
Splash
I sigh in frustration. This is still harder than Akira made it out to be.
Splash - splash
"Ummm... W-why do you think that your bond with Lilly is... in worse condition?"
Akira merely looks at some point in the distance before turning to me with a sad look in her eyes.
03
"It's not just Dad Lilly's been keeping at arms' length over the last two days."
"H-How can you be so sure?"
"The way we parted after our last visit to the hospital gave me that idea already, and the fact that she's neither answered nor returned any of my phone calls merely reinforces my hunch. I probably screwed up one too many times. I've been screwing up ever since Lilly and I first came here."
"B-But..."
I start denying Akira's suggestion, but she stops me with a gesture that indicates she has more to say.
"Ya know, I've been thinking a little bit. Back when I learned that Lilly didn't want to migrate to Scotland after all and that she came this close to going there against her will, I was upset with her for not letting me in on how she really felt. Lilly's rather reserved by nature, but she and I have had very few secrets between us since we started living together without our parents. I was shocked that she kept me out of something this major. When I confronted her with this, she merely apologized, so I dropped it without pressing her for the reason. I think I know the reason now."
"You do?"
"Back when it was just the two of us, I'd occasionally vent my frustration with our parents in front of Lilly. She'd never argue with me or defend them. She'd just sit there nodding her head. No nods of agreement, but simply of acknowledgement. This was the one area we never shared a wavelength on. Most of the time, it didn't matter. Until our folks entered our life again. Then it suddenly became a huge deal. I hate to admit it, but I think the truth is that Lilly simply kept me out of the loop because she didn't think my input could be trusted."
"..."
Even though Akira's words are harsh, I can't bring myself to deny them either. I've witnessed Akira's bitterness towards her parents, and based on what she just told me, she's probably justified to feel that way. Still, her bitterness has made me very uncomfortable recently. Perhaps it's because I've had quite a few bouts of cynicism myself, and Akira has felt like a reflection of myself at times. It didn't make me feel very good.
"I'm not particularly worried about my long-term relationship with my sister. This situation will end in one way or the other, and when it's over, I don’t doubt that she'll let me back in. In the meantime, the best thing I can probably do is keep my mouth shut in her presence whenever the subject of our parents comes up, so I don't end up making things worse anymore."
I meekly nod.
"Still, the rut Lilly's currently in is about our parents, and I hate the fact that I can't do anything to offer her emotional support like I'm supposed to. She won't talk to me about this, but she might confide in someone else. Someone who isn't blood-related to her, yet with whom she feels a strong bond."
Akira gives me an expectant look to remove any doubt about what person she's talking about.
"M-Me?"
"Who else?"
"Hisao and I... already visited Lilly in her room a few times, but all s-she does is make small talk."
"Your boyfriend's a good friend to Lilly, but you're the one she probably trusts most. Maybe if you spend some time with her alone..."
"Then what...?"
Akira smiles awkwardly.
"Dunno."
"I... don't really understand what you want me to do."
"If I knew what had to be done to sort out this whole mess and make Lilly happy again, I'd tell you. But I'm not so sure myself. Maybe you could spend a little bit of time with her before you leave tomorrow. Just you and her. Maybe cheer her up a little. Get her to stop moping in that room of hers. Would you be willing to do that for me?"
"I... uh... Okay. I was... already hoping to t-talk to her a little before we go tomorrow."
Akira smiles broadly.
"Thanks. That means a lot."
I shyly shake my head.
"It... might not m-make much of a difference."
Akira grins in response.
"You shouldn't sell yourself short like that. The last time you had a candid talk with Lilly, she reversed a life-changing decision just like that. That's no small feat. And just today, you got some impressive results with the old man too."
"W-What?"
"You told him how wrong he was about Lilly and also suggested for him to apologize to her, all of that without being so direct as to cause him to get butthurt. Hey, don't give me that look. It was pretty easy to pick up if you read between the lines a bit. I don't think Dad missed it either. He said he'd think about it. That's much more of result than anything I've been able to get done."
"I... just w-wanted to make Lilly happy."
"And I guess you think that reconnecting with Mom and Dad in some way will make Lilly happy or you wouldn't have asked our old man to apologize. Do you still feel this way, even knowing everything I just told you?"
"I'm... n-not sure. I... think... so. When I... met them, they seemed... not so bad. They still seem to care about Lilly. Maybe... it's possible for... someone to be a bad parent... but not a bad person."
"You think so?"
"Besides... n-not having p-parents at all... is still worse, I think."
Akira gives me a sympathetic look.
"I'd feel like a real bitch arguing against that with you."
She gets up to indicate she's ready to start walking back. We walk side by side along the beach until we get back to the Satou home's driveway. Ever since we started walking, Akira's had a pensive look on her face, and she hasn't said a single word the entire time. It isn't until we reach her car and I get ready to go back inside that she turns to me.
"Hey Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"Maybe... well... You should try and convince Lilly to do one more patching up attempt. Who knows? It might just work out."
"Well, as you can see things between me and the folks weren't exactly peachy even before they left Japan, but things might have worked out if they hadn't upped and left just like that."
"You were... 19 when they left, right?"
"Yeah. It was after I graduated from high school, which was fortunately not the same kind of place middle school was. I didn't really know what I wanted to do afterwards. Dad pulled a string or two at the company, and I was allowed to work at the legal department of SMT as a secretary. Back then there were apparently already office rumors about a big change being in the wings."
"Your parents moving?"
"It was a little more complicated than that. Back then, Granddad was still in charge of the company, though he was ill during the last months before the big change. Eventually Granddad revealed his plans for the company's future at the dinner table. He and his brothers on the board of directors wanted to expand our clientèle, but we weren't having a lot of success getting a foot in the door in China. Business was booming in Inverness though, and the people there were doing a good job getting the European mainland to warm up to our brand. So the board made the decision to make Inverness the new headquarters and have the Japanese branch concentrate completely on the domestic market from that point on. Of course, a Satou had to be in charge of headquarters, and that's how Dad finally got his promotion to number 1 executive of the company. A promotion and a plane ticket. He immediately accepted the offer, too. He said he was honored by the responsibility placed on him. I wonder if he even considered how Lilly must have felt. I remember everybody applauding. I wondered even back then how many of those ovations were actually real."
Splash - splash - splash
"The actual shocker came during his visit to Japan a few weeks after moving to Inverness. It turned out that he was going to live there permanently, and he mentioned Mom's help being needed in Scotland and that she'd need to come along with him for some time. The board apparently already approved. Heh, 'for some time' being a euphemism for forever. The true bombshell was when we were told that Lilly had to stay behind. For her education, so to speak. She was gonna lose her parents for a friggin education. At least that was the story."
SPLOOSH
I'm startled by an unusually loud splash. That must have been quite a rock she just threw.
"You still don't believe it?"
"I'm not sure what to make of Dad's reaction, but one thing I know for sure is that there are also prestigious private schools in the UK. I don't think the quality of her education was a good argument to leave her in Japan. Heck, and judging from what the old man said the other day, he wasn't even expecting Lilly to get a job anyway, even with that education."
She shrugs and gives me a sad look.
"Ya know, I always thought there was something creepy about Yamaku, or rather the idea behind it. It's like this place in the middle of nowhere so 'proper society' doesn't have to see or hear those attending there. I still wonder if Mom and Dad didn't rue the fact that Lilly couldn't be shoved there until she finished middle school."
"I... actually like that about Yamaku. M-Middle school was h-hard for me. I'm n-not sure w-what would have happened at an ordinary high school. M-Maybe something terrible. I... didn't function all that well at Yamaku, but at least I wasn't b-bullied anymore. I'm... r-really thankful for that."
Akira thinks for a moment.
"I never really thought much about that. I guess it's a good point, though it didn't apply to Lilly."
I don't really have an answer to that, so I decide to shift the conversation to the earlier subject.
"A-Anyway, after your parents left... you... decided to look after her?"
"Either I stayed with her or she'd be left with an ailing grandmother and grandfather. Shizune's family wasn't an option. Dad and Shizune's Dad hate each other. He wouldn't have permitted it."
"W-What are y-your grandparents like?"
"To be honest, I never really knew Granddad. He was at work even more often than Dad was. Of course, he ranked higher than Dad. On Sundays he'd be out golfing with business pals or reading in his study. The rest of the days he was at work or hanging out with co-workers. The company was his life as well since he stayed at its helm for a very long time, even though he could have retired years earlier. He even considered it a few years earlier, before ultimately reconsidering. He was a pretty heavy smoker, and it came back to bite him six years ago when he developed lung cancer. He was lucky they discovered it before it spread, but they still ended up removing a part of his right lung and with it an equally large part of his stamina. Grandpa and Grandma used to live in the same neighborhood as ours in a house on a rather large incline with stone steps leading up to the front door. After his surgery, it'd take him half an hour just to reach his own porch. Even Lilly could run circles around him at that point. So he and Grandma moved to another town, and we haven't had much contact with them ever since."
Splash - splash - splash
"As for Grandma, when I was a child she'd drop by our home on a daily basis. She was nice enough. She was formal, polite, proper and friendly, but also a bit distant and stoic. She was more responsible than Mom though. She'd always be the one to take me to the park to play when I was a kid. She was also the one who went to PTA meetings during Lilly's elementary school years instead of Mom. Heh, somehow Mom always managed to come up with a reason to be busy with something else. Thinking back on it, it's possible she was already going her own way even then, just on a smaller scale although ironically she didn't really get out of the house much back then. I remember Grandma scolding her about it a few times. Heh, of course when I asked Grandma about that, I got a major scolding myself about how impolite it is to listen in. She was pretty strict, all in all."
Akira toys with one of her locks of hair for a moment.
"Save for a few bad periods once in a while, Grandma's always been in pretty good health, but after Granddad's surgery, her physical condition took a nosedive as well. High blood pressure, ulcers, shortness of breath. I guess his condition hit her harder than any of us expected. Between her declining health and the fallout of grandpa's surgery, I didn't feel it was responsible to leave Lilly in their care. Of course, it's not like I was really all that more fit as a caretaker..."
"I think Lilly would disagree. You did a r-really good job l-looking after her while..."
I pause for a moment. If Akira left for a job right after high school, when did she earn her law degree? Akira seems to read my mind as I trail off and smirks.
"You're wondering how I became a lawyer without visiting a university, right?"
I nod.
"Before 2004, becoming a lawyer in Japan didn't require a university degree. All you had to do was pass the official bar exam, which... heh... had a 3% passage rate at the time. While at work I heard a couple of guys at our department going on about taking a shot at it. It gave me the idea to give it a try myself, which was naturally met with ridicule. But I figured that if I could pass it, I'd be able to get a career without having to attend some university located somewhere far away from my home and my sister."
"You p-passed such a difficult exam without having attended a university?"
Just how much of a genius is Akira if she pulled that off?
"Without a university, but not without preparation. There are cram schools that specialize in preparing people for that particular exam. I attended one before taking the exam."
A sad and slightly guilty look appears on Akira's face.
"I didn't think Dad was going to sponsor an attempt like that, so Lilly suggested letting go of our housekeeping staff and using the money Mom and Dad wired us every month to employ them to get me into one of those cram schools. She was already a lot more independent at the time, but I still had a bad feeling about it. Eventually she managed to convince me to give it a try, and I gave in after swearing a solemn oath to her that if things became too much for her, I'd drop everything immediately and we'd go right back to the way things were. I ended up passing the bar exam on the first try, apparently being one of the few ones who pulled that off."
"W-Wow."
"In order to officially practice as a lawyer, I would have had to spent over a year training at the Supreme Court's training center in Tokyo, but since that involved leaving Lilly behind, I passed on that. Practically speaking, it wasn't a big loss since they focus almost completely on litigation training there anyway and hardly spend any time on contract drafting and other corporate practices. I could do my job as a corporate lawyer even without it. Officially, it did mean I probably wouldn't be able to do my job at any place other than the family company. Still, I promised myself to spend all the free time I had with Lilly if I passed the bar exam, and I did my best to keep it. She was the one who was rooting for me and making sacrifices for me that entire time. It was the least thing I could do back."
"I've... always been a b-bit envious of how c-close you and Lilly are."
"I suppose that with our parents out of the picture we were the only true constants in each other's lives for a long time. That creates a bond. But bonds have to be maintained too. And right now I can't shake the feeling that our bond used to be in a better condition than it is now..."
Splash - splash - splash - splash - splash - splash
I'm distracted for a moment by a particularly skillful throw on Akira's part, and it takes me several seconds to digest what she just said.
"W-Wait! What?"
Akira doesn't immediately respond and merely puts a few flat stones in my hand.
"Go ahead and have a try yourself. It's not that difficult when you get a feeling for it."
Splash
'Not that difficult' is probably still pretty subjective.
Splash
"You gotta throw sideways a bit. Make them spin like a discus. As long as they keep spinning, they keep bouncing."
Splash
"Maybe you ought to try using your left hand instead of your right."
That might work. My left wrist is a lot more supple than my right.
Splash - splash
"See?"
Splash
I sigh in frustration. This is still harder than Akira made it out to be.
Splash - splash
"Ummm... W-why do you think that your bond with Lilly is... in worse condition?"
Akira merely looks at some point in the distance before turning to me with a sad look in her eyes.
03
"It's not just Dad Lilly's been keeping at arms' length over the last two days."
"H-How can you be so sure?"
"The way we parted after our last visit to the hospital gave me that idea already, and the fact that she's neither answered nor returned any of my phone calls merely reinforces my hunch. I probably screwed up one too many times. I've been screwing up ever since Lilly and I first came here."
"B-But..."
I start denying Akira's suggestion, but she stops me with a gesture that indicates she has more to say.
"Ya know, I've been thinking a little bit. Back when I learned that Lilly didn't want to migrate to Scotland after all and that she came this close to going there against her will, I was upset with her for not letting me in on how she really felt. Lilly's rather reserved by nature, but she and I have had very few secrets between us since we started living together without our parents. I was shocked that she kept me out of something this major. When I confronted her with this, she merely apologized, so I dropped it without pressing her for the reason. I think I know the reason now."
"You do?"
"Back when it was just the two of us, I'd occasionally vent my frustration with our parents in front of Lilly. She'd never argue with me or defend them. She'd just sit there nodding her head. No nods of agreement, but simply of acknowledgement. This was the one area we never shared a wavelength on. Most of the time, it didn't matter. Until our folks entered our life again. Then it suddenly became a huge deal. I hate to admit it, but I think the truth is that Lilly simply kept me out of the loop because she didn't think my input could be trusted."
"..."
Even though Akira's words are harsh, I can't bring myself to deny them either. I've witnessed Akira's bitterness towards her parents, and based on what she just told me, she's probably justified to feel that way. Still, her bitterness has made me very uncomfortable recently. Perhaps it's because I've had quite a few bouts of cynicism myself, and Akira has felt like a reflection of myself at times. It didn't make me feel very good.
"I'm not particularly worried about my long-term relationship with my sister. This situation will end in one way or the other, and when it's over, I don’t doubt that she'll let me back in. In the meantime, the best thing I can probably do is keep my mouth shut in her presence whenever the subject of our parents comes up, so I don't end up making things worse anymore."
I meekly nod.
"Still, the rut Lilly's currently in is about our parents, and I hate the fact that I can't do anything to offer her emotional support like I'm supposed to. She won't talk to me about this, but she might confide in someone else. Someone who isn't blood-related to her, yet with whom she feels a strong bond."
Akira gives me an expectant look to remove any doubt about what person she's talking about.
"M-Me?"
"Who else?"
"Hisao and I... already visited Lilly in her room a few times, but all s-she does is make small talk."
"Your boyfriend's a good friend to Lilly, but you're the one she probably trusts most. Maybe if you spend some time with her alone..."
"Then what...?"
Akira smiles awkwardly.
"Dunno."
"I... don't really understand what you want me to do."
"If I knew what had to be done to sort out this whole mess and make Lilly happy again, I'd tell you. But I'm not so sure myself. Maybe you could spend a little bit of time with her before you leave tomorrow. Just you and her. Maybe cheer her up a little. Get her to stop moping in that room of hers. Would you be willing to do that for me?"
"I... uh... Okay. I was... already hoping to t-talk to her a little before we go tomorrow."
Akira smiles broadly.
"Thanks. That means a lot."
I shyly shake my head.
"It... might not m-make much of a difference."
Akira grins in response.
"You shouldn't sell yourself short like that. The last time you had a candid talk with Lilly, she reversed a life-changing decision just like that. That's no small feat. And just today, you got some impressive results with the old man too."
"W-What?"
"You told him how wrong he was about Lilly and also suggested for him to apologize to her, all of that without being so direct as to cause him to get butthurt. Hey, don't give me that look. It was pretty easy to pick up if you read between the lines a bit. I don't think Dad missed it either. He said he'd think about it. That's much more of result than anything I've been able to get done."
"I... just w-wanted to make Lilly happy."
"And I guess you think that reconnecting with Mom and Dad in some way will make Lilly happy or you wouldn't have asked our old man to apologize. Do you still feel this way, even knowing everything I just told you?"
"I'm... n-not sure. I... think... so. When I... met them, they seemed... not so bad. They still seem to care about Lilly. Maybe... it's possible for... someone to be a bad parent... but not a bad person."
"You think so?"
"Besides... n-not having p-parents at all... is still worse, I think."
Akira gives me a sympathetic look.
"I'd feel like a real bitch arguing against that with you."
She gets up to indicate she's ready to start walking back. We walk side by side along the beach until we get back to the Satou home's driveway. Ever since we started walking, Akira's had a pensive look on her face, and she hasn't said a single word the entire time. It isn't until we reach her car and I get ready to go back inside that she turns to me.
"Hey Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"Maybe... well... You should try and convince Lilly to do one more patching up attempt. Who knows? It might just work out."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 34
Chapter 34
01
"L-Lilly?"
Upon receiving no response to my knocking, I hesitantly open the door of my friend's room and look inside. Surprisingly enough, there's nobody there. That's a bit unexpected. Lilly's hardly been out of her room for days, except to eat dinner. Where could she be?
Just as I close the door, I hear the sudden sound of something clattering on a tile floor. Unless Hisao just had a moment of clumsiness in the shower area of our bedroom, the sound I just heard probably came from the bathroom. I walk up to the door of the bathroom, gently push down the door handle and discover that it's not locked. I peek inside and notice that Lilly's sandals are on one of the shelves and I hear some movements from behind the changing area's inner wall. Lilly's definitely in here.
I take off my shoes and socks and put them next to Lilly's sandals on the shelf. I walk into the bathing area, and sure enough, Lilly's kneeling near the small shelves underneath the mirrors. There are several bottles and flasks around her, and Lilly's sweeping the ground with her hands in an attempt to locate them all. She suddenly stops and tilts her head as I approach, probably having picked up the pattering sound from my bare feet on the tiles.
"Lilly?"
A tiny smile appears on her face as she recognizes my voice.
"Oh, welcome back, Hanako."
"Uh... Did you drop a few things, Lilly?"
Lilly sheepishly nods.
"I wanted to put some bathing supplies on the little shelf in front of me, and I discovered too late that someone still left his or her own supplies in that exact spot. The result is this little mess."
"Oh...uh..."
I think I have a good idea of who created this little inconvenience for Lilly.
"S-Sorry, Lilly. That m-may have been me."
Hisao and I took a bath together the day before Lilly's father had his incident. I meant to clean up after ourselves afterwards, but we got... distracted by other things while we were here.
"It's not a problem, Hanako."
"Let me help you."
I walk up to Lilly and quickly pick up the bottles and flasks around her. I take one of each and neatly arrange them on the shelf near her.
"Lilly? I arranged the bottles on the shelf in front of you in the... uh... usual order."
Lilly gives me a grateful smile.
"Thank you, Hanako. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated."
"So, Lilly, were you planning to take a bath just now?"
"That was the idea, Hanako. I've only taken a bath once during this trip, and the circumstances were less than ideal back then. Maybe a pleasant soak will help to ease my mind. There should still be plenty of time before dinner."
"I suppose I... came at a bad time then. But... do you have some time to spare... after dinner?"
"I do. Do you have any plans, Hanako?"
"Not really. I just thought... after tomorrow... we won't see each other again for some time. Maybe we could... spend some time together until Hisao and I leave?"
"That sounds like a good idea, Hanako. I apologize for having neglected you and Hisao over the last few days."
"That's okay, Lilly. There's no need to explain anything. We understand completely."
"I'll be sure to keep you and Hisao company after dinner this evening. Let's make the most out of your remaining time here."
"Um... Lilly?"
"Yes?"
"M-Maybe... the t-two could spend some time... together? We could... talk for a bit, if you like. I'm sure that Hisao... wouldn't mind."
"Are you sure about that Hanako?"
"I... haven't really done a very good j-job s-supporting you, but... maybe I can still do that for the little bit of time I'm here."
Lilly looks in deep thought for a moment. Then she gives a small nod.
"I... would probably welcome that, Hanako."
"G-Great."
Lilly gets up, and I allow her to take hold of my sleeve before helping her return to the changing area. She then feels her way over to one of the baskets on the shelves and starts taking off her sweater. I figure that this would probably be a good time to take my leave.
"Lilly, if you don't need my help for anything else, I'll b-be going, okay?"
"Hmmm, Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"You... said that you wanted to spend some time alone with me, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps we should take the opportunity to do that now. It's not like we have that much time left."
"Huh?"
"If you were to stay here right now, you could keep me company."
I give Lilly a baffled look as she takes off her top and starts removing her skirt. Keep her company?
"Uhhhhhhh.... Is t-that okay?"
Lilly, who is now wearing nothing but her bra and panties, gives me a playful look.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"You'd b-be... n-naked... in f-front of me."
Lilly giggles.
"We're both girls, aren't we? I don't think it'd be that big a problem."
"If it's... not a big p-problem with you then... I'll stay here."
"I appreciate that, Hanako."
I quickly walk to the door and lock it. When I turn around, Lilly has already taken off the last of her clothes and is brushing the shelf with her hand in search of a towel.
"I just l-locked the door, Lilly."
"Could you help me to my stool, Hanako?"
"Sure."
Averting my eyes, I place Lilly's outstretched hand on my arm and lead her out of the changing area. But before we reach the corner with the mirrors and the stools, Lilly suddenly stops.
"Hanako, what will you do?"
"I'll just sit on the edge of the bath."
Lilly nods but doesn't move or say anything. I wonder what she's thinking right now.
"Hanako... I apologize if this seems a bit forward, but... I wouldn't mind if you joined me. Would you like to?"
"W-W-What?"
Lilly seems to have expected my shocked reaction and shows me an amused smile.
"If you wouldn't mind, that is. You and Hisao took a bath several days ago, didn't you? Didn't you like it?"
"I... uh... d-did."
"To be honest, I had been hoping for a chance to take a soak together with you since we came here. I don't see us visiting a hot spring resort or anything like it anytime soon in Japan. Maybe this would be a good opportunity."
"Ah... r-really?"
Lilly nods.
"It's also easier to talk to each other when you're sitting next to me instead of half-way across the room. And as you may have noticed yourself, the bath is a bit on the large side for just one person. It seems to have been built with group activity in mind. Or family activity."
"F-Family activity?"
"Yes, bathing was very much a family activity back in the days. I used to take baths with Mother and Akira all the time when I was young. Occupying such a large bath on one's own feels... off somehow."
"If it's a f-family activity to you, then..."
Lilly quickly shakes her head before I can finish my sentence.
"Then sharing a soak with you would definitely not feel inappropriate to me. You... feel very much like family to me right now, Hanako."
"L-Lilly."
I can't help but smile at Lilly's kind words. Lilly's expression quickly saddens though.
02
"In fact... You may feel more like family to me right now than... anyone else I know."
The impact of that statement isn't lost on me, and I reel back in shock for a moment. This isn't something I ever expected Lilly to say.
Are things really this bad?
This would probably be a good moment to try and put my shyness aside and focus on more important things.
If Lilly really feels this way, then is it okay for me to be flying back tomorrow? Shouldn't I stay and be there for Lilly instead?
I'd best take this one step at a time though.
03
"Ummm... I'll... j-join you then. O-Okay? I'll b-be r-right with you."
Lilly gives me a relieved smile.
"Thank you, Hanako."
Still a bit uneasy, I walk back into the changing area and nervously start undressing. While I'm busy doing so, Lilly doesn't say a single word and the only sound audible in the room is the rustling of my clothes. I eventually take off my underwear, pick up a towel and, my legs shaking a bit, walk out of the changing area to face Lilly.
I blush a bit at the sight of her as we come face to face. Lilly isn't even bothering to try and cover herself up. She just casually stands there as if she was fully clothed. As my eyes briefly wander over Lilly's body, I feel the painful sting of envy for a moment. Lilly is gorgeous. Her vibrantly blonde hair is hanging loosely over her shoulders, her figure is slim, and yet her curves are ample. And her skin is both smooth and spotless. It makes the condition of my own blighted skin all the more jarring.
I'd better move on with things before I get depressed.
"Lilly... could you h-hold out your right h-hand?"
She calmly extends her hand towards me, which I place on my left arm. I guide her to the stools while at the same time keeping a bit of additional distance between us so she can't accidentally touch any of my scarred areas, and when we sit down I also make sure that my stool isn't too close to hers.
I get a bit of a weird feeling when I pick up one of the shower heads, but then shake the sensation out of my mind and dutifully fill both Lilly's bucket and my own. We quietly proceed to drench ourselves, soap ourselves up and then wash ourselves. I feel a bit bad about not offering to wash Lilly's back, but I'm a bit afraid of doing so since I know she'd offer to return the favor, and me declining it would just lead to another awkward moment.
It takes me quite a while to get my hair over and done with, and when I finally rinse the remaining shampoo out of my hair and look at Lilly, I notice she's been absentmindedly toying with her bangs. I wonder how long she's been waiting without saying a word.
"Lilly?"
"Hanako, are you finished as well?"
"Y-Yes. Sorry to keep you waiting. My hair usually takes a little while."
"Almost everyone I know says you have very beautiful hair, Hanako, so it goes without saying that it's important to take good care of it."
"Ah... oh.... R-really?"
Lilly merely grins.
"Really. Are you ready? I must admit I'm getting a bit chilly."
"Okay. C-Could you give me your right hand again?"
I take Lilly's hand again and guide her to the large bath. I help her step in, then get in myself and start considering where to sit. Lilly doesn't seem to have much trouble picking a spot as she walks up to one of the corners, turns around and beckons me to sit next to her.
I hesitate. If Lilly sits down in that corner, I'll have to sit on her left side and my scarred side will be facing her. Maybe it'll be okay if I simply don't sit too close to her. I can't offer support to Lilly and then appear to be distant. I'll simply sit just far enough away to avoid accidental physical contact. I make my way over to Lilly, and we allow ourselves to sink slowly into the water.
"Aaaaaahhhhh..."
"Hmmmm..."
We both let out a long sigh as we make ourselves comfortable, and the water fills our bodies with a pleasant warmth. Then we both giggle.
"The water feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it's just the right temperature."
It feels like the water is still set at the temperature Hisao and I picked when we took a bath here. I'm happy that Lilly likes this temperature too because a bath is quickly too hot or too cold for me.
For a long time neither of us says anything, and we are content to just hang back and relax. Eventually though, Lilly breaks the silence.
"So, Hanako... How was the visit to the hospital?"
"When we arrived, we briefly saw your mother and a person who just arrived here from Japan. Akira said he was the manager of the Japanese branch. Then we went to s-see your father and umm..."
I hesitate for a moment. I don't think Lilly needs to hear about Akira's verbal scuffle with her father.
"...he... uh... still seemed to have a lot of difficulty speaking, but he talked to us even though it hurt. He... thanked us for helping him and said to l-let him know if there was ever something he could do back. Then he wished us a safe journey."
"I see. Did... Akira say anything in particular? When Hisao came back upstairs he said that she invited you for a stroll along the shore."
"She... wanted to spend some time with me before I leave tomorrow. She wasn't sure when we'll meet each other again, after all."
She's also worried about you, but I don't think I should let that one slip. I don't like being so secretive, but if Lilly mistakenly believes that I'm only here because Akira sent me, she might clam up.
"That makes sense."
"Lilly?"
"Yes, Hanako?"
Maybe I should ask her straight out.
"W-What d-did you mean when you said that... I f-felt more like f-family than anyone else? D-Did you... mean that?"
Lilly doesn't immediately answer. I briefly wonder if she's just going to smile and dismiss the whole thing. But then she sighs softly.
04
"After Mother and Father left Japan, I've been telling myself for a long time that this was only temporary and that when they'd return, everything would be as it was before. But when Akira and I visited here in July, I think everyone could feel the distance. When I offered Mother to visit here, I thought all that we needed to do was spend a bit more time in each other’s company. But... I've recently started feeling that things are nowhere that simple. If anything, I feel that this trip has merely widened the distance between myself and the rest of my family. It's like all my efforts have the opposite effect. It's... very disheartening to say the least."
"Widened the distance?"
Lilly nods.
"You've known Akira for some time now. Surely you must have noticed as well."
I think I have, even before Akira herself pointed it out to me.
"Akira... really doesn't get along with your p-parents, does she?"
"Akira and I have always been very close and only grew closer after our parents left Japan. We used to be able to share everything with the other. Only the subject of our parents has always been a troublesome issue. Akira would usually get angry or bitter whenever this subject came up, so I'd usually let her blow off steam and then change the subject. It didn't really become a problem until recently."
"Until... the summoning?"
"Even slightly before that. When we visited Scotland in July, I didn't really know how to act around our parents, but I tried to just make the best of an awkward situation. Akira, however, would often be either distant or hostile whenever we interacted with them. It made the situation with the summoning a lot more difficult for me than it already was."
"How so?"
"In the past, whenever I ran into a situation I had trouble dealing with by myself, such as... hmmm... turning down a confession or dealing with conflicts in the student council, I would take comfort in the fact that I could always approach Akira as a last resort and she'd listen to me and give me sisterly advice. But when we visited Scotland, I started feeling alienated by Akira's attitude towards our family. I used to trust her opinions unconditionally because I knew she always had my best interests at heart, but in this case, I can't deny that I felt a sense of distrust towards her. So I ended up trying to deal with our parents' summoning on my own. I felt... very alone... in that."
"Oh, Lilly..."
Lilly gives me a guilty smile.
"Of course, that's a little bit my own fault as well. I should have realized sooner that I also had you to confide in. I just hope you understand that usually what happens in the family is meant to stay in the family."
"I understand."
"I had been hoping that Father's hospitalization would have resulted in a truce or even a new start, but it seems that even an event as major as this wasn't enough. I'm not really sure how to deal with Akira now."
For a moment Lilly looks mildly frustrated.
"I... really want to be understanding of Akira. She's endured a lot of hardships of her own. But...*sigh* what kind of person starts a fight with someone who only just got off life support?"
And today was pretty much a rematch of the confrontation Lilly referred to.
"It... is indeed a bit harsh."
"Of course, Father is hardly blameless himself. He took an unacceptable risk. And... When he mentioned that he did it for Akira and me, it almost made me feel partially responsible for what happened. As if having him in my life is somehow less important than a large sum of money in the bank."
She sighs again.
"I keep thinking back on what he said. About wanting to make sure I'd always be 'well-provided for'. I wonder if I'm a bad person for believing that that's a really condescending thing to say."
"I don't think you are. "
"Now I just keep wondering if that's how he's always seen me. I keep wondering if the biggest achievement he expects out of me is to be noticed by some potential husband so I don't end up living off his money by myself. I wonder if he'd laugh off my dreams of becoming a teacher. If he's not willing to pay any university tuition, there's probably not much hope of me getting into a university after I graduate."
Wow, she's really in a downer mood.
"It's p-probably a little early to w-worry about that already."
"Hanako... Do you think I'm an ungrateful daughter for feeling this way?"
"N-No. I'd probably f-feel a little bit offended too."
"That's somewhat of a relief to know."
Lilly thinks for a moment.
"I'm also not sure what to think of what Akira said about the way Mother and Father live their lives. Especially Mother. To be honest... I'm not really sure what to think of her to begin with."
"I... noticed that things sometimes seemed a little awkward between your m-mother and you, but I didn't really understand why because your mother has been very friendly from the start."
Lilly nods and smiles sadly.
"It's probably just me. But even so..."
"I... don't really understand the problem."
Lilly turns to me.
"Hanako, if you don't mind me asking... What do you think about my mother?"
"Huh?"
"Please just give me your honest impression. Surely you must have come here with certain expectations."
"Hmmm. She was... different from what I was expecting, but she was nevertheless very nice. I think I like her."
"May I ask what exactly you were expecting?"
"I think I was expecting to meet an older version of you. Like... a formal and graceful upper-class woman with impeccable m-manners. Maybe, unlike you, even a bit haughty or s-snobbish. I know it's a bit silly. But your mother actually reminds me quite a bit of Akira. I think I simply made the wrong guess."
"You were expecting a so-called proper lady?"
I think I’ve heard Lilly's father utter that phrase a few times.
"Yes. But it doesn't really matter that much to me. Why do you want to k-know all this?"
Lilly pauses for a second and then sighs.
"Because the way you imagined her is also the way I remember her."
"The way you remember her?"
"I know it must be difficult for you to believe this, but Mother was a completely different person when she was still living with us in Japan. She was... graceful, gentle, friendly though also just a little bit distant and always very proper and appropriate. And she was completely devoted to Father and the family. While growing up, Mother was the person I always tried to emulate and resemble."
"R-Really?"
"Being around her has been a very strange experience. I... have no idea how to act around her. Living abroad can change a person, I suppose, but..."
It's still very odd. And something doesn't make sense.
"But Lilly, what about y-your first trip?"
"During our first trip to Scotland, Mother took up her days off from work to spend time with her bedridden sister and us. Back then, she was still acting like her old self whenever she was with us. Well, for the largest part anyway. She didn't start acting this casual until I returned here."
Lilly lets out an unhappy sigh.
"I could put up with the more casual way of interacting with me, but what really bothers me is the fact she seems to have been neglecting Father. That's... just so not her. I... really don't know what to think or what to do. This isn't the family I expected to find here."
"I... I'm sorry, Lilly."
"It's okay, Hanako. Thank you for listening to me complaining like this."
"Oh, d-don't worry about that."
"What would you do in my situation?"
I'm not sure. Knowing myself, I'd probably run away, take the first plane back to Japan and hide away in my dorm room for the rest of the year. But that's not what Lilly needs to hear.
Okay Hanako. Think...
"I'm... n-not really sure, but..."
I try to recall the things Akira told me earlier today.
She said something along the lines of not wanting to trouble Lilly with her issues any further.
"Akira... umm... talked to me earlier and... she's not happy with the situation either. She said... she was going to try and b-back off a little. I don't think there's a lot you can do for her. This is probably something she'll have to... sort out herself."
"Did Akira appear angry with me over our lack of interaction the last few days?"
"Not to me. Maybe you can call her. Or spend some time with her after work without bringing up your f-family. I think she'll like that, and you might enjoy it too. You've always enjoyed each other's company so much."
"It may feel odd to ignore the elephant in the room just like that, but if she meant what she told you then there may be no harm in trying."
Akira isn't the tricky issue though. Lilly's bond with her sister is strong enough for it to withstand a few hurdles. The issues with her parents are more difficult. I can imagine how Lilly must have felt. I think I've been there myself.
01
"L-Lilly?"
Upon receiving no response to my knocking, I hesitantly open the door of my friend's room and look inside. Surprisingly enough, there's nobody there. That's a bit unexpected. Lilly's hardly been out of her room for days, except to eat dinner. Where could she be?
Just as I close the door, I hear the sudden sound of something clattering on a tile floor. Unless Hisao just had a moment of clumsiness in the shower area of our bedroom, the sound I just heard probably came from the bathroom. I walk up to the door of the bathroom, gently push down the door handle and discover that it's not locked. I peek inside and notice that Lilly's sandals are on one of the shelves and I hear some movements from behind the changing area's inner wall. Lilly's definitely in here.
I take off my shoes and socks and put them next to Lilly's sandals on the shelf. I walk into the bathing area, and sure enough, Lilly's kneeling near the small shelves underneath the mirrors. There are several bottles and flasks around her, and Lilly's sweeping the ground with her hands in an attempt to locate them all. She suddenly stops and tilts her head as I approach, probably having picked up the pattering sound from my bare feet on the tiles.
"Lilly?"
A tiny smile appears on her face as she recognizes my voice.
"Oh, welcome back, Hanako."
"Uh... Did you drop a few things, Lilly?"
Lilly sheepishly nods.
"I wanted to put some bathing supplies on the little shelf in front of me, and I discovered too late that someone still left his or her own supplies in that exact spot. The result is this little mess."
"Oh...uh..."
I think I have a good idea of who created this little inconvenience for Lilly.
"S-Sorry, Lilly. That m-may have been me."
Hisao and I took a bath together the day before Lilly's father had his incident. I meant to clean up after ourselves afterwards, but we got... distracted by other things while we were here.
"It's not a problem, Hanako."
"Let me help you."
I walk up to Lilly and quickly pick up the bottles and flasks around her. I take one of each and neatly arrange them on the shelf near her.
"Lilly? I arranged the bottles on the shelf in front of you in the... uh... usual order."
Lilly gives me a grateful smile.
"Thank you, Hanako. Your thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated."
"So, Lilly, were you planning to take a bath just now?"
"That was the idea, Hanako. I've only taken a bath once during this trip, and the circumstances were less than ideal back then. Maybe a pleasant soak will help to ease my mind. There should still be plenty of time before dinner."
"I suppose I... came at a bad time then. But... do you have some time to spare... after dinner?"
"I do. Do you have any plans, Hanako?"
"Not really. I just thought... after tomorrow... we won't see each other again for some time. Maybe we could... spend some time together until Hisao and I leave?"
"That sounds like a good idea, Hanako. I apologize for having neglected you and Hisao over the last few days."
"That's okay, Lilly. There's no need to explain anything. We understand completely."
"I'll be sure to keep you and Hisao company after dinner this evening. Let's make the most out of your remaining time here."
"Um... Lilly?"
"Yes?"
"M-Maybe... the t-two could spend some time... together? We could... talk for a bit, if you like. I'm sure that Hisao... wouldn't mind."
"Are you sure about that Hanako?"
"I... haven't really done a very good j-job s-supporting you, but... maybe I can still do that for the little bit of time I'm here."
Lilly looks in deep thought for a moment. Then she gives a small nod.
"I... would probably welcome that, Hanako."
"G-Great."
Lilly gets up, and I allow her to take hold of my sleeve before helping her return to the changing area. She then feels her way over to one of the baskets on the shelves and starts taking off her sweater. I figure that this would probably be a good time to take my leave.
"Lilly, if you don't need my help for anything else, I'll b-be going, okay?"
"Hmmm, Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"You... said that you wanted to spend some time alone with me, didn't you?"
"Yes."
"Perhaps we should take the opportunity to do that now. It's not like we have that much time left."
"Huh?"
"If you were to stay here right now, you could keep me company."
I give Lilly a baffled look as she takes off her top and starts removing her skirt. Keep her company?
"Uhhhhhhh.... Is t-that okay?"
Lilly, who is now wearing nothing but her bra and panties, gives me a playful look.
"Why wouldn't it be?"
"You'd b-be... n-naked... in f-front of me."
Lilly giggles.
"We're both girls, aren't we? I don't think it'd be that big a problem."
"If it's... not a big p-problem with you then... I'll stay here."
"I appreciate that, Hanako."
I quickly walk to the door and lock it. When I turn around, Lilly has already taken off the last of her clothes and is brushing the shelf with her hand in search of a towel.
"I just l-locked the door, Lilly."
"Could you help me to my stool, Hanako?"
"Sure."
Averting my eyes, I place Lilly's outstretched hand on my arm and lead her out of the changing area. But before we reach the corner with the mirrors and the stools, Lilly suddenly stops.
"Hanako, what will you do?"
"I'll just sit on the edge of the bath."
Lilly nods but doesn't move or say anything. I wonder what she's thinking right now.
"Hanako... I apologize if this seems a bit forward, but... I wouldn't mind if you joined me. Would you like to?"
"W-W-What?"
Lilly seems to have expected my shocked reaction and shows me an amused smile.
"If you wouldn't mind, that is. You and Hisao took a bath several days ago, didn't you? Didn't you like it?"
"I... uh... d-did."
"To be honest, I had been hoping for a chance to take a soak together with you since we came here. I don't see us visiting a hot spring resort or anything like it anytime soon in Japan. Maybe this would be a good opportunity."
"Ah... r-really?"
Lilly nods.
"It's also easier to talk to each other when you're sitting next to me instead of half-way across the room. And as you may have noticed yourself, the bath is a bit on the large side for just one person. It seems to have been built with group activity in mind. Or family activity."
"F-Family activity?"
"Yes, bathing was very much a family activity back in the days. I used to take baths with Mother and Akira all the time when I was young. Occupying such a large bath on one's own feels... off somehow."
"If it's a f-family activity to you, then..."
Lilly quickly shakes her head before I can finish my sentence.
"Then sharing a soak with you would definitely not feel inappropriate to me. You... feel very much like family to me right now, Hanako."
"L-Lilly."
I can't help but smile at Lilly's kind words. Lilly's expression quickly saddens though.
02
"In fact... You may feel more like family to me right now than... anyone else I know."
The impact of that statement isn't lost on me, and I reel back in shock for a moment. This isn't something I ever expected Lilly to say.
Are things really this bad?
This would probably be a good moment to try and put my shyness aside and focus on more important things.
If Lilly really feels this way, then is it okay for me to be flying back tomorrow? Shouldn't I stay and be there for Lilly instead?
I'd best take this one step at a time though.
03
"Ummm... I'll... j-join you then. O-Okay? I'll b-be r-right with you."
Lilly gives me a relieved smile.
"Thank you, Hanako."
Still a bit uneasy, I walk back into the changing area and nervously start undressing. While I'm busy doing so, Lilly doesn't say a single word and the only sound audible in the room is the rustling of my clothes. I eventually take off my underwear, pick up a towel and, my legs shaking a bit, walk out of the changing area to face Lilly.
I blush a bit at the sight of her as we come face to face. Lilly isn't even bothering to try and cover herself up. She just casually stands there as if she was fully clothed. As my eyes briefly wander over Lilly's body, I feel the painful sting of envy for a moment. Lilly is gorgeous. Her vibrantly blonde hair is hanging loosely over her shoulders, her figure is slim, and yet her curves are ample. And her skin is both smooth and spotless. It makes the condition of my own blighted skin all the more jarring.
I'd better move on with things before I get depressed.
"Lilly... could you h-hold out your right h-hand?"
She calmly extends her hand towards me, which I place on my left arm. I guide her to the stools while at the same time keeping a bit of additional distance between us so she can't accidentally touch any of my scarred areas, and when we sit down I also make sure that my stool isn't too close to hers.
I get a bit of a weird feeling when I pick up one of the shower heads, but then shake the sensation out of my mind and dutifully fill both Lilly's bucket and my own. We quietly proceed to drench ourselves, soap ourselves up and then wash ourselves. I feel a bit bad about not offering to wash Lilly's back, but I'm a bit afraid of doing so since I know she'd offer to return the favor, and me declining it would just lead to another awkward moment.
It takes me quite a while to get my hair over and done with, and when I finally rinse the remaining shampoo out of my hair and look at Lilly, I notice she's been absentmindedly toying with her bangs. I wonder how long she's been waiting without saying a word.
"Lilly?"
"Hanako, are you finished as well?"
"Y-Yes. Sorry to keep you waiting. My hair usually takes a little while."
"Almost everyone I know says you have very beautiful hair, Hanako, so it goes without saying that it's important to take good care of it."
"Ah... oh.... R-really?"
Lilly merely grins.
"Really. Are you ready? I must admit I'm getting a bit chilly."
"Okay. C-Could you give me your right hand again?"
I take Lilly's hand again and guide her to the large bath. I help her step in, then get in myself and start considering where to sit. Lilly doesn't seem to have much trouble picking a spot as she walks up to one of the corners, turns around and beckons me to sit next to her.
I hesitate. If Lilly sits down in that corner, I'll have to sit on her left side and my scarred side will be facing her. Maybe it'll be okay if I simply don't sit too close to her. I can't offer support to Lilly and then appear to be distant. I'll simply sit just far enough away to avoid accidental physical contact. I make my way over to Lilly, and we allow ourselves to sink slowly into the water.
"Aaaaaahhhhh..."
"Hmmmm..."
We both let out a long sigh as we make ourselves comfortable, and the water fills our bodies with a pleasant warmth. Then we both giggle.
"The water feels good, doesn't it?"
"Yes, it's just the right temperature."
It feels like the water is still set at the temperature Hisao and I picked when we took a bath here. I'm happy that Lilly likes this temperature too because a bath is quickly too hot or too cold for me.
For a long time neither of us says anything, and we are content to just hang back and relax. Eventually though, Lilly breaks the silence.
"So, Hanako... How was the visit to the hospital?"
"When we arrived, we briefly saw your mother and a person who just arrived here from Japan. Akira said he was the manager of the Japanese branch. Then we went to s-see your father and umm..."
I hesitate for a moment. I don't think Lilly needs to hear about Akira's verbal scuffle with her father.
"...he... uh... still seemed to have a lot of difficulty speaking, but he talked to us even though it hurt. He... thanked us for helping him and said to l-let him know if there was ever something he could do back. Then he wished us a safe journey."
"I see. Did... Akira say anything in particular? When Hisao came back upstairs he said that she invited you for a stroll along the shore."
"She... wanted to spend some time with me before I leave tomorrow. She wasn't sure when we'll meet each other again, after all."
She's also worried about you, but I don't think I should let that one slip. I don't like being so secretive, but if Lilly mistakenly believes that I'm only here because Akira sent me, she might clam up.
"That makes sense."
"Lilly?"
"Yes, Hanako?"
Maybe I should ask her straight out.
"W-What d-did you mean when you said that... I f-felt more like f-family than anyone else? D-Did you... mean that?"
Lilly doesn't immediately answer. I briefly wonder if she's just going to smile and dismiss the whole thing. But then she sighs softly.
04
"After Mother and Father left Japan, I've been telling myself for a long time that this was only temporary and that when they'd return, everything would be as it was before. But when Akira and I visited here in July, I think everyone could feel the distance. When I offered Mother to visit here, I thought all that we needed to do was spend a bit more time in each other’s company. But... I've recently started feeling that things are nowhere that simple. If anything, I feel that this trip has merely widened the distance between myself and the rest of my family. It's like all my efforts have the opposite effect. It's... very disheartening to say the least."
"Widened the distance?"
Lilly nods.
"You've known Akira for some time now. Surely you must have noticed as well."
I think I have, even before Akira herself pointed it out to me.
"Akira... really doesn't get along with your p-parents, does she?"
"Akira and I have always been very close and only grew closer after our parents left Japan. We used to be able to share everything with the other. Only the subject of our parents has always been a troublesome issue. Akira would usually get angry or bitter whenever this subject came up, so I'd usually let her blow off steam and then change the subject. It didn't really become a problem until recently."
"Until... the summoning?"
"Even slightly before that. When we visited Scotland in July, I didn't really know how to act around our parents, but I tried to just make the best of an awkward situation. Akira, however, would often be either distant or hostile whenever we interacted with them. It made the situation with the summoning a lot more difficult for me than it already was."
"How so?"
"In the past, whenever I ran into a situation I had trouble dealing with by myself, such as... hmmm... turning down a confession or dealing with conflicts in the student council, I would take comfort in the fact that I could always approach Akira as a last resort and she'd listen to me and give me sisterly advice. But when we visited Scotland, I started feeling alienated by Akira's attitude towards our family. I used to trust her opinions unconditionally because I knew she always had my best interests at heart, but in this case, I can't deny that I felt a sense of distrust towards her. So I ended up trying to deal with our parents' summoning on my own. I felt... very alone... in that."
"Oh, Lilly..."
Lilly gives me a guilty smile.
"Of course, that's a little bit my own fault as well. I should have realized sooner that I also had you to confide in. I just hope you understand that usually what happens in the family is meant to stay in the family."
"I understand."
"I had been hoping that Father's hospitalization would have resulted in a truce or even a new start, but it seems that even an event as major as this wasn't enough. I'm not really sure how to deal with Akira now."
For a moment Lilly looks mildly frustrated.
"I... really want to be understanding of Akira. She's endured a lot of hardships of her own. But...*sigh* what kind of person starts a fight with someone who only just got off life support?"
And today was pretty much a rematch of the confrontation Lilly referred to.
"It... is indeed a bit harsh."
"Of course, Father is hardly blameless himself. He took an unacceptable risk. And... When he mentioned that he did it for Akira and me, it almost made me feel partially responsible for what happened. As if having him in my life is somehow less important than a large sum of money in the bank."
She sighs again.
"I keep thinking back on what he said. About wanting to make sure I'd always be 'well-provided for'. I wonder if I'm a bad person for believing that that's a really condescending thing to say."
"I don't think you are. "
"Now I just keep wondering if that's how he's always seen me. I keep wondering if the biggest achievement he expects out of me is to be noticed by some potential husband so I don't end up living off his money by myself. I wonder if he'd laugh off my dreams of becoming a teacher. If he's not willing to pay any university tuition, there's probably not much hope of me getting into a university after I graduate."
Wow, she's really in a downer mood.
"It's p-probably a little early to w-worry about that already."
"Hanako... Do you think I'm an ungrateful daughter for feeling this way?"
"N-No. I'd probably f-feel a little bit offended too."
"That's somewhat of a relief to know."
Lilly thinks for a moment.
"I'm also not sure what to think of what Akira said about the way Mother and Father live their lives. Especially Mother. To be honest... I'm not really sure what to think of her to begin with."
"I... noticed that things sometimes seemed a little awkward between your m-mother and you, but I didn't really understand why because your mother has been very friendly from the start."
Lilly nods and smiles sadly.
"It's probably just me. But even so..."
"I... don't really understand the problem."
Lilly turns to me.
"Hanako, if you don't mind me asking... What do you think about my mother?"
"Huh?"
"Please just give me your honest impression. Surely you must have come here with certain expectations."
"Hmmm. She was... different from what I was expecting, but she was nevertheless very nice. I think I like her."
"May I ask what exactly you were expecting?"
"I think I was expecting to meet an older version of you. Like... a formal and graceful upper-class woman with impeccable m-manners. Maybe, unlike you, even a bit haughty or s-snobbish. I know it's a bit silly. But your mother actually reminds me quite a bit of Akira. I think I simply made the wrong guess."
"You were expecting a so-called proper lady?"
I think I’ve heard Lilly's father utter that phrase a few times.
"Yes. But it doesn't really matter that much to me. Why do you want to k-know all this?"
Lilly pauses for a second and then sighs.
"Because the way you imagined her is also the way I remember her."
"The way you remember her?"
"I know it must be difficult for you to believe this, but Mother was a completely different person when she was still living with us in Japan. She was... graceful, gentle, friendly though also just a little bit distant and always very proper and appropriate. And she was completely devoted to Father and the family. While growing up, Mother was the person I always tried to emulate and resemble."
"R-Really?"
"Being around her has been a very strange experience. I... have no idea how to act around her. Living abroad can change a person, I suppose, but..."
It's still very odd. And something doesn't make sense.
"But Lilly, what about y-your first trip?"
"During our first trip to Scotland, Mother took up her days off from work to spend time with her bedridden sister and us. Back then, she was still acting like her old self whenever she was with us. Well, for the largest part anyway. She didn't start acting this casual until I returned here."
Lilly lets out an unhappy sigh.
"I could put up with the more casual way of interacting with me, but what really bothers me is the fact she seems to have been neglecting Father. That's... just so not her. I... really don't know what to think or what to do. This isn't the family I expected to find here."
"I... I'm sorry, Lilly."
"It's okay, Hanako. Thank you for listening to me complaining like this."
"Oh, d-don't worry about that."
"What would you do in my situation?"
I'm not sure. Knowing myself, I'd probably run away, take the first plane back to Japan and hide away in my dorm room for the rest of the year. But that's not what Lilly needs to hear.
Okay Hanako. Think...
"I'm... n-not really sure, but..."
I try to recall the things Akira told me earlier today.
She said something along the lines of not wanting to trouble Lilly with her issues any further.
"Akira... umm... talked to me earlier and... she's not happy with the situation either. She said... she was going to try and b-back off a little. I don't think there's a lot you can do for her. This is probably something she'll have to... sort out herself."
"Did Akira appear angry with me over our lack of interaction the last few days?"
"Not to me. Maybe you can call her. Or spend some time with her after work without bringing up your f-family. I think she'll like that, and you might enjoy it too. You've always enjoyed each other's company so much."
"It may feel odd to ignore the elephant in the room just like that, but if she meant what she told you then there may be no harm in trying."
Akira isn't the tricky issue though. Lilly's bond with her sister is strong enough for it to withstand a few hurdles. The issues with her parents are more difficult. I can imagine how Lilly must have felt. I think I've been there myself.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 34 - cont.
"L-Lilly?"
"Yes?"
"I... I think I know how you must have felt."
"You do?"
"When I was... still getting to know Hisao, I used to worry a lot about what he thought of me. I was often afraid that he looked d-down on me. That I was j-just someone for him to worry over."
Lilly suddenly looks very uncomfortable. This used to be a sensitive point between the two of us as well.
"I don't think that was all he saw you as, Hanako."
"I don't know. I still remember that night when Akira took us to that jazz club. Hisao and I played a game of pool in the back and it was really fun... until he said something to me that r-really hurt."
"He did?"
"While I was trying to ease my nerves, he said: 'Don't worry. Even with Lilly away, I'll be there to protect you.' It was then that I realized that... to him... I was just a pitiful and helpless person who couldn't do anything on her own. Someone who would always have to b-be looked after."
"I don't think he really meant it like that, Hanako. He may have acted in a bit of a misguided manner, but in the end I believe he meant well. He simply didn't know you well enough yet."
"I... think he meant well t-too, but it still hurt back then. I wanted him t-to respect me, b-but he didn't."
"I think he respects you now. And I think he also loves you very much. So he obviously came around, wouldn't you agree?"
"Y-Yes, it... took a lot, but... he came around eventually. And he apologized and c-confessed to me. I'm r-really happy that he did."
"Was there anything specific that triggered this?"
I blush briefly upon hearing Lilly's question. I think if I told Lilly that I let Hisao sleep with me in order to make him come around, she'd probably faint in shock. Actually, in the end it wasn't really Hisao and me taking each other's virginity that broke down the walls between us, but the painfully awkward talk we were forced to have the day after.
"A... um... painfully awkward talk at some point. It's n-not really important."
"I think you're right, Hanako. The important thing is the result."
"Umm... L-Lilly?"
"Yes?"
"I was thinking... maybe... maybe the same is true with you and your father. Maybe your father... didn't really mean to d-disrespect you, but... he s-simply didn't know you well enough yet either. Maybe he's simply... ignorant."
There's a long silence as Lilly ponders my words.
"Do you really think the two cases are similar, Hanako?"
"I... think so. I think your father cares about you in his own way or he w-would not have offered to take us to Edinburgh while things were still so busy at work. M-Maybe if you show him how strong and reliable you can be, he'll see past his current view of you."
In fact, you'll probably pull it off without jumping into the kind of irrational actions I took part in.
"Show him?"
"I think this is a good opportunity. Maybe... the best chance you're going to g-get. Your f-father is probably going through a very d-difficult time right now. He could... really use someone like you by his side."
"Someone like me?"
"You're... very good at... comforting people and making them f-feel better. Giving emotional support to people who need it, whether they're classmates or newly arrived transfer students or even p-panicky neighbors with whom you never even spoke before, is simply what you do. It's like a s-second nature to you. It was... the first thing I learned about you."
"That's a very nice thing of you to say."
"If you... look after your f-father like you've looked after Hisao and me, he'll have no choice but to respect you."
"You make it sound more simple than it probably is."
I probably do. Lilly's pride was hurt in this whole mess, and I know that that's not something she can easily let go or overlook.
"If anyone can bring your f-family together, it's probably you. Also... I think if you give things your all while you're here, you can say that you've t-tried your best no matter what happens during the rest of your stay. If you... don't do that then you might feel regrets when you're back at Yamaku."
I wonder if I myself would be able to practice what I'm preaching right now. I feel a bit hypocritical talking to Lilly about swallowing her pride and reaching out to her parents in good faith while I myself am frequently prone to bouts of cynicism. But there's no doubt in my mind that if Lilly just allowed things to stay the way they are, she'd feel awful about her inactivity later.
"Maybe..."
"You... d-don't really have much to lose. If you... m-manage to still get closer to your f-family, you'll have achieved what you c-came here for. And if... despite your best efforts, you s-still feel distant f-from them b-by the time you get back, then... uh... ummm..."
"Yes?"
05
"Then... uh... I'll b-be your f-family... instead. Either way, you w-won't be alone."
Lilly lets out a happy laugh at my remark.
"Hmmm, hmmm... Promising someone such a reward for failing is not a good way to motivate them, Hanako. But nevertheless I really appreciate your kindness."
"Also... uh... This is just m-me, but I t-think that...!"
06
While I'm still in the middle of my sentence I suddenly become aware that Lilly has softly put her hand on my shoulder. My right shoulder! I gasp and in a sudden fit of panic, I lunge forward in an attempt to get away. However due to the resistence of the water reaching to just above my knees, I promptly fall over, producing a loud splash in the process. In other circumstances it'd probably be comical. The splash gets some water in my nose, and I snort and cough a few times before I can regain my composure. I finally calm down enough to realize that I just made an utter fool of myself in front of Lilly and anxiously look over my shoulder at my friend.
Lilly's smile has vanished and in its place is a worried, almost frightened, expression.
"H-Hanako! Are you alright?"
"I... I'm... okay... S-sorry... I'm... alright..."
My panting and stammering attempts at reassurance don't do much to put Lilly's mind at ease.
"Hanako, did I hurt you just now?"
"D-Don't worry. You didn't."
"Honestly?"
"I... I d-didn't even f-feel it at f-first. S-Several of m-my... m-my s-scarred places are n-numb."
"..."
"It's o-okay, really. You j-just startled me a little."
Lilly seems to consider it and then slowly nods.
"I apologize. What was it that you wanted to say before I interrupted you?"
"What I w-wanted to say was... that s-supporting your father is also simply the r-right thing to do. B-Being stuck in the hospital after s-surgery is hard on everyone. Your f-father probably f-feels he can't show it, b-but I think that d-deep down he's feeling a little bit l-like Hisao m-must have felt. Or..."
An uneasy feeling starts welling up in my stomach before I can finish my sentence, but Lilly seems to have guessed what I was about to say.
"Or how you must have felt... Does this situation remind you of your own hospitalization, Hanako?"
07
"B-Being stuck in the hospital after s-something like this is a very miserable experience. In addition to the p-pain, there's the loneliness. And there's all the t-time you have. S-So much time - too much time - and nothing to s-spend it on except w-wondering. W-Wondering why t-this happened to y-you and what you d-did to deserve t-this. Wondering what y-your life will b-be like afterwards and r-realizing it will probably never b-be the same again."
"Was that what it was like for you, Hanako?"
"I... d-don't really remember m-my own first week very well. I... w-was on very heavy medication at first. The strongest they had. M-My room was one of those s-sealed pods that w-was completely s-sterile. I b-barely survived the f-fire. They s-said a s-simple infection could kill me until I m-my injuries healed up a bit more. They usually c-couldn't b-bring in toys or b-books because there could be g-germs on them. D-Doctors or nurses wouldn't c-come in unless really necessary and I w-wasn't allowed out of the r-room. But then again, I c-could barely move b-back then, so I wouldn't h-have been able to leave anyway."
"That must have been terribly lonely..."
"I preferred to b-be alone eventually. Whenever the n-nurses came into my room, it was usually to change the b-bandages or to move and s-stretch my injured arm and b-back. Burned skin becomes really t-tight and it has to be s-stretched several times a day or I wouldn't be able to use those p-parts of my body at all anymore eventually. That's what they s-said. But... I didn't s-see it that way at first. All I knew was that several t-times a day p-people would come into my room to cause me terrible pain."
For a moment my thoughts fly back to my time in the hospital. The constant pain that became unbearable when my limbs were moved or the wound dressing was changed. The fear and panic I felt when I saw the nursing staff enter my room again. Their continuing reassurances how important it was to start these exercises as soon as possible. I suddenly find myself shivering.
"Hanako..."
"S-Sometimes, after the nurses w-were finally done f-for the day, I w-wondered why my m-mother did what she d-did. Why she didn't j-just let me..."
"Your mother?"
"The fire happened when I was eight years old. It was night, and I was s-sleeping when it started. I... curled up into a ball... when the f-fire swept over me. My mother... tried to shield me. Th-that's the reason... I lived... and she... d-didn't."
"..."
"I was... still on intensive care... f-fighting for my own l-life when the... c-c-cremation took place. M-Maybe it w-was for the best. If... If I h-had been there when they... when they... I d-don't think I w-would have... "
I sniffle and it takes all the willpower I have to swallow the sudden lump in my throat, and when Lilly speaks up, her voice is rather tiny as well.
"H-Hanako... your parents' ashes... are they... kept at a grave somewhere? Because if so... perhaps I could go there with you some time and pay my respects."
That comment makes me smile despite the mood of the moment. It's just so much like Lilly to say something kind like that.
"T-They're not. The funeral w-was already very costly, and it w-was decided not to s-spend additional money on a grave with just m-me to maintain it. After I... recovered enough to be able to walk and d-dress myself again, the m-matron came to visit m-me in the hospital. She told me she worked at an orphanage in t-town and that I'd be living with them from then on. They... kept my p-parents' ashes while I w-was recovering in the hospital, and after I was allowed to l-leave, we took a long ride to a place n-near the ocean with a really b-beautiful coastline. The matron s-said I could pick the prettiest spot I could f-find and that's where we would... s-s-see them off."
"She sounds kind."
"She w-was. All the staff members at the orphanage w-were nice, and it felt a bit like Yamaku does. But the staff was also always b-busy. Since they w-were already h-helping me with my... exercises and other m-medical needs, I t-tried not to burden them further. The place had a small library, so I started reading to p-pass the time. S-Sometimes I'd play a game with one of the other c-children if the staff suggested it."
"Did you ever consider getting in touch again with some of the children you got to know there?"
"I didn't r-really get to know anyone. The other c-children didn't really t-talk much to me, and I didn't r-really talk much to them. I... d-didn't really mind."
"But you were all in the same boat, weren't you?"
"I'm n-not sure. As th-the years went on, I realized... I was different. M-Most of the children there were up for adoption, just like I was. But unlike me... they gradually left, o-one by one. By the time I went to Yamaku, I was... among the oldest ch-children there. For a while, I h-helped with some of the y-younger children, but... I n-never really got to know them either."
"That must have been very lonely."
"I d-don't like interacting w-with p-people very much, so I didn't m-mind."
"But everybody needs friends, don't you think so?"
"Friendship... was something I thought I'd g-given up on. I s-stopped believing in others... after what happened after the accident... B-Before my accident happened, I got on well with p-people and other children. I d-didn't have many friends, but... I didn't m-mind. I t-treasured the ones that I had. Afterwards, though..."
I swallow with some difficulty. For some reason just the mere mentioning of this brings back fragments of the desperation I felt back then.
"...I was c-called names by the others and t-teased a lot. It hurt... really deeply. The teachers t-tried to help s-sometimes, but they c-couldn't do much, and even many of them r-recoiled just at the sight of me. Among t-those c-calling me names and t-teasing me... were the ones that I t-thought were m-my closest friends. *sniff* Up to that point, I had been hoping I c-could still maintain... just a little bit of m-my former life, but... it was then that I r-realized that my former life was truly gone for good."
I feel a few tears flow down my cheek, and I see them create small ripples as they hit the surface of the water.
"Middle school... was even worse. I g-got bullied... a lot. I was c-called names and got excluded f-from work groups. There were... worse things, too. Especially when tests came up and p-people started f-feeling pressure. I s-started skipping class. I knew I wasn't s-supposed to... M-my grades were already r-rather low, but... I became more and more f-frightened to go there each day. After m-middle school, Yamaku was one of the options the s-staff brought up. It was... isolated and m-most students there were d-disabled. I d-didn't expect to m-make any friends there, but... at least p-people would leave me be. That was... g-good enough for me. That was… even m-more than I c-could hope for."
I rub my eyes a few times, trying to wipe away the tears. When I take a brief look at Lilly, I see that she's softly crying as well. For a long time, neither of us says a word. When Lilly finally opens her mouth, there's a sad but tender tone in her voice.
"Hanako, you said you gave up on friendship, and yet I think that deep down you never stopped desiring other people in your life. The fact that our friendship came to be is proof of that because it was you who approached me. You chose me as a friend - your first real friend judging by what I just learned - and I feel very honored by that, even if I haven't always been able to live up to your expectations."
"I'm... n-not sure. I think... I really d-didn't believe in real friendship... back then. But... I think I still wanted to believe, even though I couldn't. I thought... since you couldn't s-see what I looked like... t-things would be... different... somehow."
"And were they?"
"I'm... not really sure. Even though... you couldn't see my appearance, there... were still plenty of things wrong w-with me that you c-could notice. And sometimes... I wondered if it w-was just a m-matter of time before... you found out m-more about me and then d-decided you could... do better."
Lilly considers this for a moment.
"Hanako, would you do something for me?"
"Yes?"
"Can you... take my hands? Both of them?"
"Uh...?"
Lilly sits up a little and holds out both her hands in front of her. A little hesitant, I move over her corner, sit down in front of her and carefully take her hands in mine, trying to avoid contact with the scar tissue on my wrist. Lilly gives a pleased nod.
"Thank you. Don't be afraid."
"Huh?"
Lilly gently pulls her hands away and then puts them on top of my own. She gives me a reassuring smile. Then, without waiting for my reaction, she moves her hands upwards along my arms until they're resting on my shoulders. A moment later she leans forward, wraps her arms around me, and before I realize what's happening, Lilly has locked me in an embrace.
"Aaah!"
I let out a cry of surprise, and my body completely freezes up in panic, and time seems to stop for a long time as I wait for Lilly's horrified gasp.
But as more and more seconds pass, a realization starts slowly sinking in.
08
Lilly hasn't flinched.
Not even once.
I finally manage to hold back my anxiety long enough to stammer out a reaction.
"L-L-Lilly?"
"Hanako. Try to relax..."
"Uh..."
She lowers her voice to a whisper.
"Just relax."
"I..."
As my anxiety slowly - very slowly - starts ebbing away, I become aware of Lilly's hands gently feeling my back and running through my hair. As I slowly start to relax, Lilly pulls me even closer, letting her chin rest on my right shoulder and gently pressing the side of her face against my scarred cheek. Her hug is firm yet oddly tender.
"A blind girl and a burn victim being best friends... Several of my sighted friends at Yamaku have pointed out to me how strangely fitting it seems. And yet, it also feels a bit off-putting, to hear our friendship being defined by this single thing. Don't you agree?"
"I... d-don't know..."
"Would you abandon our friendship if some miracle caused your scars to disappear, Hanako? Would you feel you could do better if that were to happen?"
"No, I... I would never do that."
"Likewise, if some miracle gave me eyesight, it still wouldn't change anything between us, Hanako. You are a wonderful person. The scars on your body don't change that. In fact..."
"She gently runs her fingers across the side of my face."
"You will probably disagree with my assessment, but I think you look fine."
"I... I... don't..."
I stammer a half-hearted denial, but leave it at that. There was such sincerity in Lilly's words that it feels disrespectful to loudly decry her words. As a strangely comfortable silence falls, I try to sort out what I'm currently feeling.
It feels strangely pleasant, but it's not passion or desire, like I felt when Hisao and I were in here and he hugged me. The gentle sensation of the warm water and Lilly's close presence feel vaguely familiar, a little bit like whenever Hisao is holding me after we make love. It's the same comfortable sense of safety and security, yet also different somehow.
I slowly feel the tense feeling leaving me as my past demons who were awakened briefly by my story are lulled back to sleep, and I eventually gain enough courage to wrap my arms around Lilly and return her hug. Again, she doesn't cringe like part of me expected her to.
Inexplicably, something Lilly said to her mother on that fateful day she decided to stay in Japan comes back to mind.
I have a very good friend here who is like a sister to me in all but blood. If I need help with something, I can always count on her to be there.
I wonder if my presence is also soothing Lilly's anxieties right now.
Eventually, Lilly lets go of me, and we break off our embrace. I sit down next to her, although this time I no longer bother to stay an arm's length away from Lilly. After another long silence, Lilly finally speaks up.
"Hanako, how are you feeling right now?"
"B-Better. How about you?"
"Better as well. Thank you for entrusting me with all of this, Hanako."
"It's... okay. I felt it was... only fair... to do so."
"Fair?"
"This week I've seen you... during some v-very vulnerable moments. I've also... learned a lot about your f-family. A lot that... you probably didn't want me to learn. It was only fair that... I also allowed you to l-learn a bit more about me even though it isn't pleasant."
"To be honest, I feel a little embarrassed. You've been through so much, and yet here I am, feeling sorry for myself and complaining about parents to someone who no longer has her own. I must really look spoiled to you."
"I think you were right to feel upset."
"Still, my problems must look so trivial in your eyes."
"I... don't think they are and even if they were, it's still okay to feel bad about them. I... uh... g-get upset about what are p-probably trivial things to you... all the time."
Lilly giggles.
"Thank you for cheering me up, Hanako. You're a true friend."
"Lilly... What will you do now?"
Lilly doesn't immediately answer. She merely closes her eyes and seems deep in thought for what feels like several minutes. Eventually a mysterious smile appears on her face for a second as if she's enjoying some private joke. Then she opens her eyes and turns her head in my direction.
"The right thing, Hanako. I'll do my best to support my parents to the best of my ability and hopefully get them to see me in a new light as well. I will do what I can to change this family for the better and do my part to turn it into what I feel it should be."
There's a determination on Lilly's face and in her voice that's unlike anything I've ever seen. It's a stronger determination than she's ever shown before. I can't help being a little awed.
"I hope... No, I know... t-that you'll succeed."
Lilly smiles and nods.
"Shall we go?"
"Okay."
We stand up, and Lilly once again holds out her hand. This time I don't feel frightened to let Lilly take hold of my arm as I guide her out of the bath and back to the changing area. As we dry ourselves off and start putting our clothes back on, Lilly flashes me a playful grin.
"Hanako, what happened here will stay between us, won't it? For the sake of Hisao's heart, it might be better if he doesn't know all the details."
We let out a mutual giggle to confirm our mutual oath of confidentiality, and, once dressed, we make our way out of the bathroom and down the stairs. As we enter the living room, I see Lilly's mother and Hisao sitting there. Karla gives her daughter an unsure look.
"Hello Lilly. How are you doing?"
Lilly answers her mother's question with a polite bow.
"Much better now, Mother. How about you?"
"Okay... I guess. I hope you're not too hungry yet. I didn't know when you would be finished, and I've yet to tell Allison to start preparing dinner."
"Actually, Mother, would it be okay to give Allison the rest of the day off?"
"Huh?"
"This is Hanako's and Hisao's last day here in Scotland. If it's okay with you, I would like to cook for them myself, just this once."
"Uh... Well, I don't mind. But..."
"Perhaps you could help me get the ingredients ready. I'm still not too familiar with the location of everything."
"Well, alright then."
And with that Lilly and her mother disappear into the kitchen. An hour later the four of us share a simple, but delicious meal, and afterwards Lilly accompanies Hisao and me on one last long walk through the neighborhood before the two of us retire for the evening.
--------------------------------------
09
The next morning, after a filling breakfast, Lilly and her mother take us to Inverness Airport where we're pleasantly surprised by a chipper Akira who's been waiting for us there. After checking in our luggage, the five of us have a cup of tea at one of the coffee shops near the security gate. The atmosphere is surprisingly relaxed with Lilly interacting in her usual way with Akira and Akira not displaying any outward signs of hostility towards her mother. Eventually Lilly's mother checks her watch and gives us a sad smile.
"Well, I think it's time for you two to head to your gate. You probably want to be among the first to board."
Hisao sighs.
"Well, I guess we'll be off then. Best of luck to all three of you. And maybe until some other time, Akira."
Akira grins.
"Hey, I'll still be in Japan from time to time. I'll try to accompany whatever business delegation is heading east. And whenever I'm in the country, I'll be sure to stop by at Yamaku. So we'll definitely meet again. "
Karla smiles.
"So will we. I'll probably be the one accompanying Lilly to Japan on her way back, so we'll probably meet again soon. Take care of yourself in the meantime, okay? And uh... Since you're in her class, be sure to tell Shizune that I said hello."
"We will."
Hisao gets up from his seat and looks at me.
"Shall we then?"
I nod uneasily. Saying goodbye to Lilly and Akira suddenly feels very hard.
"O-Okay."
We all get up, and Lilly's mother gives us a respectful bow.
"We’ve put you through quite a bit of trouble. Sorry for that. I hope you enjoyed your time here regardless."
"Oh, we definitely have. Right, Hanako?"
"Yes. It was great fun."
Karla smiles and then reaches into her wallet. She takes some banknotes and puts two of them in each of our hands. I look at them and there's a large 50 on each of them. That's 200 pounds in total. I'm not completely sure how much that is in yen, but I bet it's quite a bit.
"When you get back to Japan, please change this and use it to go on a couple of fun dates together. It's on us."
"We couldn't..."
Akira cuts off Hisao by giving him a playful shove.
"Just take it, you two."
Lilly smiles.
"You can tell me all about it when I get back."
Hisao and I exchange a resigned look. I don't think there's time for us to argue over this. We both put the banknotes away.
"Thank you."
Akira steps forward and gives Hisao a friendly pat on the shoulder.
"Have fun, you two. See ya later."
Then she walks up to me and gives me a warm hug while giving me a knowing look.
"See ya, Hanako. Don't be afraid to call sometime."
She leans in and whispers.
"And thanks for yesterday."
"Uh... O-okay."
Lilly briefly puts her hand on Hisao's shoulder.
"Hisao, please take good care of Hanako today, okay?"
"Will do, Lilly. Be sure to hang in there yourself."
"Hanako, will you be alright?"
"D-Don't worry about me, Lilly. I'll... make it."
Lilly steps forward and gives me a loving hug, followed by a light kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks for everything, Hanako. We'll keep in touch, okay?"
"Y-Yes."
We walk out of the coffee shop, and Hisao and I join the queue near the security gate. We turn around and wave goodbye one last time to the Satous. The crowds and security checks will no doubt ruin my day today, but until it's our turn to pass through I want to hold on to that image of Lilly and her family.
The sight of Lilly, Akira and their mother all wearing a smile.
Maybe things will turn out alright after all.
10
"Yes?"
"I... I think I know how you must have felt."
"You do?"
"When I was... still getting to know Hisao, I used to worry a lot about what he thought of me. I was often afraid that he looked d-down on me. That I was j-just someone for him to worry over."
Lilly suddenly looks very uncomfortable. This used to be a sensitive point between the two of us as well.
"I don't think that was all he saw you as, Hanako."
"I don't know. I still remember that night when Akira took us to that jazz club. Hisao and I played a game of pool in the back and it was really fun... until he said something to me that r-really hurt."
"He did?"
"While I was trying to ease my nerves, he said: 'Don't worry. Even with Lilly away, I'll be there to protect you.' It was then that I realized that... to him... I was just a pitiful and helpless person who couldn't do anything on her own. Someone who would always have to b-be looked after."
"I don't think he really meant it like that, Hanako. He may have acted in a bit of a misguided manner, but in the end I believe he meant well. He simply didn't know you well enough yet."
"I... think he meant well t-too, but it still hurt back then. I wanted him t-to respect me, b-but he didn't."
"I think he respects you now. And I think he also loves you very much. So he obviously came around, wouldn't you agree?"
"Y-Yes, it... took a lot, but... he came around eventually. And he apologized and c-confessed to me. I'm r-really happy that he did."
"Was there anything specific that triggered this?"
I blush briefly upon hearing Lilly's question. I think if I told Lilly that I let Hisao sleep with me in order to make him come around, she'd probably faint in shock. Actually, in the end it wasn't really Hisao and me taking each other's virginity that broke down the walls between us, but the painfully awkward talk we were forced to have the day after.
"A... um... painfully awkward talk at some point. It's n-not really important."
"I think you're right, Hanako. The important thing is the result."
"Umm... L-Lilly?"
"Yes?"
"I was thinking... maybe... maybe the same is true with you and your father. Maybe your father... didn't really mean to d-disrespect you, but... he s-simply didn't know you well enough yet either. Maybe he's simply... ignorant."
There's a long silence as Lilly ponders my words.
"Do you really think the two cases are similar, Hanako?"
"I... think so. I think your father cares about you in his own way or he w-would not have offered to take us to Edinburgh while things were still so busy at work. M-Maybe if you show him how strong and reliable you can be, he'll see past his current view of you."
In fact, you'll probably pull it off without jumping into the kind of irrational actions I took part in.
"Show him?"
"I think this is a good opportunity. Maybe... the best chance you're going to g-get. Your f-father is probably going through a very d-difficult time right now. He could... really use someone like you by his side."
"Someone like me?"
"You're... very good at... comforting people and making them f-feel better. Giving emotional support to people who need it, whether they're classmates or newly arrived transfer students or even p-panicky neighbors with whom you never even spoke before, is simply what you do. It's like a s-second nature to you. It was... the first thing I learned about you."
"That's a very nice thing of you to say."
"If you... look after your f-father like you've looked after Hisao and me, he'll have no choice but to respect you."
"You make it sound more simple than it probably is."
I probably do. Lilly's pride was hurt in this whole mess, and I know that that's not something she can easily let go or overlook.
"If anyone can bring your f-family together, it's probably you. Also... I think if you give things your all while you're here, you can say that you've t-tried your best no matter what happens during the rest of your stay. If you... don't do that then you might feel regrets when you're back at Yamaku."
I wonder if I myself would be able to practice what I'm preaching right now. I feel a bit hypocritical talking to Lilly about swallowing her pride and reaching out to her parents in good faith while I myself am frequently prone to bouts of cynicism. But there's no doubt in my mind that if Lilly just allowed things to stay the way they are, she'd feel awful about her inactivity later.
"Maybe..."
"You... d-don't really have much to lose. If you... m-manage to still get closer to your f-family, you'll have achieved what you c-came here for. And if... despite your best efforts, you s-still feel distant f-from them b-by the time you get back, then... uh... ummm..."
"Yes?"
05
"Then... uh... I'll b-be your f-family... instead. Either way, you w-won't be alone."
Lilly lets out a happy laugh at my remark.
"Hmmm, hmmm... Promising someone such a reward for failing is not a good way to motivate them, Hanako. But nevertheless I really appreciate your kindness."
"Also... uh... This is just m-me, but I t-think that...!"
06
While I'm still in the middle of my sentence I suddenly become aware that Lilly has softly put her hand on my shoulder. My right shoulder! I gasp and in a sudden fit of panic, I lunge forward in an attempt to get away. However due to the resistence of the water reaching to just above my knees, I promptly fall over, producing a loud splash in the process. In other circumstances it'd probably be comical. The splash gets some water in my nose, and I snort and cough a few times before I can regain my composure. I finally calm down enough to realize that I just made an utter fool of myself in front of Lilly and anxiously look over my shoulder at my friend.
Lilly's smile has vanished and in its place is a worried, almost frightened, expression.
"H-Hanako! Are you alright?"
"I... I'm... okay... S-sorry... I'm... alright..."
My panting and stammering attempts at reassurance don't do much to put Lilly's mind at ease.
"Hanako, did I hurt you just now?"
"D-Don't worry. You didn't."
"Honestly?"
"I... I d-didn't even f-feel it at f-first. S-Several of m-my... m-my s-scarred places are n-numb."
"..."
"It's o-okay, really. You j-just startled me a little."
Lilly seems to consider it and then slowly nods.
"I apologize. What was it that you wanted to say before I interrupted you?"
"What I w-wanted to say was... that s-supporting your father is also simply the r-right thing to do. B-Being stuck in the hospital after s-surgery is hard on everyone. Your f-father probably f-feels he can't show it, b-but I think that d-deep down he's feeling a little bit l-like Hisao m-must have felt. Or..."
An uneasy feeling starts welling up in my stomach before I can finish my sentence, but Lilly seems to have guessed what I was about to say.
"Or how you must have felt... Does this situation remind you of your own hospitalization, Hanako?"
07
"B-Being stuck in the hospital after s-something like this is a very miserable experience. In addition to the p-pain, there's the loneliness. And there's all the t-time you have. S-So much time - too much time - and nothing to s-spend it on except w-wondering. W-Wondering why t-this happened to y-you and what you d-did to deserve t-this. Wondering what y-your life will b-be like afterwards and r-realizing it will probably never b-be the same again."
"Was that what it was like for you, Hanako?"
"I... d-don't really remember m-my own first week very well. I... w-was on very heavy medication at first. The strongest they had. M-My room was one of those s-sealed pods that w-was completely s-sterile. I b-barely survived the f-fire. They s-said a s-simple infection could kill me until I m-my injuries healed up a bit more. They usually c-couldn't b-bring in toys or b-books because there could be g-germs on them. D-Doctors or nurses wouldn't c-come in unless really necessary and I w-wasn't allowed out of the r-room. But then again, I c-could barely move b-back then, so I wouldn't h-have been able to leave anyway."
"That must have been terribly lonely..."
"I preferred to b-be alone eventually. Whenever the n-nurses came into my room, it was usually to change the b-bandages or to move and s-stretch my injured arm and b-back. Burned skin becomes really t-tight and it has to be s-stretched several times a day or I wouldn't be able to use those p-parts of my body at all anymore eventually. That's what they s-said. But... I didn't s-see it that way at first. All I knew was that several t-times a day p-people would come into my room to cause me terrible pain."
For a moment my thoughts fly back to my time in the hospital. The constant pain that became unbearable when my limbs were moved or the wound dressing was changed. The fear and panic I felt when I saw the nursing staff enter my room again. Their continuing reassurances how important it was to start these exercises as soon as possible. I suddenly find myself shivering.
"Hanako..."
"S-Sometimes, after the nurses w-were finally done f-for the day, I w-wondered why my m-mother did what she d-did. Why she didn't j-just let me..."
"Your mother?"
"The fire happened when I was eight years old. It was night, and I was s-sleeping when it started. I... curled up into a ball... when the f-fire swept over me. My mother... tried to shield me. Th-that's the reason... I lived... and she... d-didn't."
"..."
"I was... still on intensive care... f-fighting for my own l-life when the... c-c-cremation took place. M-Maybe it w-was for the best. If... If I h-had been there when they... when they... I d-don't think I w-would have... "
I sniffle and it takes all the willpower I have to swallow the sudden lump in my throat, and when Lilly speaks up, her voice is rather tiny as well.
"H-Hanako... your parents' ashes... are they... kept at a grave somewhere? Because if so... perhaps I could go there with you some time and pay my respects."
That comment makes me smile despite the mood of the moment. It's just so much like Lilly to say something kind like that.
"T-They're not. The funeral w-was already very costly, and it w-was decided not to s-spend additional money on a grave with just m-me to maintain it. After I... recovered enough to be able to walk and d-dress myself again, the m-matron came to visit m-me in the hospital. She told me she worked at an orphanage in t-town and that I'd be living with them from then on. They... kept my p-parents' ashes while I w-was recovering in the hospital, and after I was allowed to l-leave, we took a long ride to a place n-near the ocean with a really b-beautiful coastline. The matron s-said I could pick the prettiest spot I could f-find and that's where we would... s-s-see them off."
"She sounds kind."
"She w-was. All the staff members at the orphanage w-were nice, and it felt a bit like Yamaku does. But the staff was also always b-busy. Since they w-were already h-helping me with my... exercises and other m-medical needs, I t-tried not to burden them further. The place had a small library, so I started reading to p-pass the time. S-Sometimes I'd play a game with one of the other c-children if the staff suggested it."
"Did you ever consider getting in touch again with some of the children you got to know there?"
"I didn't r-really get to know anyone. The other c-children didn't really t-talk much to me, and I didn't r-really talk much to them. I... d-didn't really mind."
"But you were all in the same boat, weren't you?"
"I'm n-not sure. As th-the years went on, I realized... I was different. M-Most of the children there were up for adoption, just like I was. But unlike me... they gradually left, o-one by one. By the time I went to Yamaku, I was... among the oldest ch-children there. For a while, I h-helped with some of the y-younger children, but... I n-never really got to know them either."
"That must have been very lonely."
"I d-don't like interacting w-with p-people very much, so I didn't m-mind."
"But everybody needs friends, don't you think so?"
"Friendship... was something I thought I'd g-given up on. I s-stopped believing in others... after what happened after the accident... B-Before my accident happened, I got on well with p-people and other children. I d-didn't have many friends, but... I didn't m-mind. I t-treasured the ones that I had. Afterwards, though..."
I swallow with some difficulty. For some reason just the mere mentioning of this brings back fragments of the desperation I felt back then.
"...I was c-called names by the others and t-teased a lot. It hurt... really deeply. The teachers t-tried to help s-sometimes, but they c-couldn't do much, and even many of them r-recoiled just at the sight of me. Among t-those c-calling me names and t-teasing me... were the ones that I t-thought were m-my closest friends. *sniff* Up to that point, I had been hoping I c-could still maintain... just a little bit of m-my former life, but... it was then that I r-realized that my former life was truly gone for good."
I feel a few tears flow down my cheek, and I see them create small ripples as they hit the surface of the water.
"Middle school... was even worse. I g-got bullied... a lot. I was c-called names and got excluded f-from work groups. There were... worse things, too. Especially when tests came up and p-people started f-feeling pressure. I s-started skipping class. I knew I wasn't s-supposed to... M-my grades were already r-rather low, but... I became more and more f-frightened to go there each day. After m-middle school, Yamaku was one of the options the s-staff brought up. It was... isolated and m-most students there were d-disabled. I d-didn't expect to m-make any friends there, but... at least p-people would leave me be. That was... g-good enough for me. That was… even m-more than I c-could hope for."
I rub my eyes a few times, trying to wipe away the tears. When I take a brief look at Lilly, I see that she's softly crying as well. For a long time, neither of us says a word. When Lilly finally opens her mouth, there's a sad but tender tone in her voice.
"Hanako, you said you gave up on friendship, and yet I think that deep down you never stopped desiring other people in your life. The fact that our friendship came to be is proof of that because it was you who approached me. You chose me as a friend - your first real friend judging by what I just learned - and I feel very honored by that, even if I haven't always been able to live up to your expectations."
"I'm... n-not sure. I think... I really d-didn't believe in real friendship... back then. But... I think I still wanted to believe, even though I couldn't. I thought... since you couldn't s-see what I looked like... t-things would be... different... somehow."
"And were they?"
"I'm... not really sure. Even though... you couldn't see my appearance, there... were still plenty of things wrong w-with me that you c-could notice. And sometimes... I wondered if it w-was just a m-matter of time before... you found out m-more about me and then d-decided you could... do better."
Lilly considers this for a moment.
"Hanako, would you do something for me?"
"Yes?"
"Can you... take my hands? Both of them?"
"Uh...?"
Lilly sits up a little and holds out both her hands in front of her. A little hesitant, I move over her corner, sit down in front of her and carefully take her hands in mine, trying to avoid contact with the scar tissue on my wrist. Lilly gives a pleased nod.
"Thank you. Don't be afraid."
"Huh?"
Lilly gently pulls her hands away and then puts them on top of my own. She gives me a reassuring smile. Then, without waiting for my reaction, she moves her hands upwards along my arms until they're resting on my shoulders. A moment later she leans forward, wraps her arms around me, and before I realize what's happening, Lilly has locked me in an embrace.
"Aaah!"
I let out a cry of surprise, and my body completely freezes up in panic, and time seems to stop for a long time as I wait for Lilly's horrified gasp.
But as more and more seconds pass, a realization starts slowly sinking in.
08
Lilly hasn't flinched.
Not even once.
I finally manage to hold back my anxiety long enough to stammer out a reaction.
"L-L-Lilly?"
"Hanako. Try to relax..."
"Uh..."
She lowers her voice to a whisper.
"Just relax."
"I..."
As my anxiety slowly - very slowly - starts ebbing away, I become aware of Lilly's hands gently feeling my back and running through my hair. As I slowly start to relax, Lilly pulls me even closer, letting her chin rest on my right shoulder and gently pressing the side of her face against my scarred cheek. Her hug is firm yet oddly tender.
"A blind girl and a burn victim being best friends... Several of my sighted friends at Yamaku have pointed out to me how strangely fitting it seems. And yet, it also feels a bit off-putting, to hear our friendship being defined by this single thing. Don't you agree?"
"I... d-don't know..."
"Would you abandon our friendship if some miracle caused your scars to disappear, Hanako? Would you feel you could do better if that were to happen?"
"No, I... I would never do that."
"Likewise, if some miracle gave me eyesight, it still wouldn't change anything between us, Hanako. You are a wonderful person. The scars on your body don't change that. In fact..."
"She gently runs her fingers across the side of my face."
"You will probably disagree with my assessment, but I think you look fine."
"I... I... don't..."
I stammer a half-hearted denial, but leave it at that. There was such sincerity in Lilly's words that it feels disrespectful to loudly decry her words. As a strangely comfortable silence falls, I try to sort out what I'm currently feeling.
It feels strangely pleasant, but it's not passion or desire, like I felt when Hisao and I were in here and he hugged me. The gentle sensation of the warm water and Lilly's close presence feel vaguely familiar, a little bit like whenever Hisao is holding me after we make love. It's the same comfortable sense of safety and security, yet also different somehow.
I slowly feel the tense feeling leaving me as my past demons who were awakened briefly by my story are lulled back to sleep, and I eventually gain enough courage to wrap my arms around Lilly and return her hug. Again, she doesn't cringe like part of me expected her to.
Inexplicably, something Lilly said to her mother on that fateful day she decided to stay in Japan comes back to mind.
I have a very good friend here who is like a sister to me in all but blood. If I need help with something, I can always count on her to be there.
I wonder if my presence is also soothing Lilly's anxieties right now.
Eventually, Lilly lets go of me, and we break off our embrace. I sit down next to her, although this time I no longer bother to stay an arm's length away from Lilly. After another long silence, Lilly finally speaks up.
"Hanako, how are you feeling right now?"
"B-Better. How about you?"
"Better as well. Thank you for entrusting me with all of this, Hanako."
"It's... okay. I felt it was... only fair... to do so."
"Fair?"
"This week I've seen you... during some v-very vulnerable moments. I've also... learned a lot about your f-family. A lot that... you probably didn't want me to learn. It was only fair that... I also allowed you to l-learn a bit more about me even though it isn't pleasant."
"To be honest, I feel a little embarrassed. You've been through so much, and yet here I am, feeling sorry for myself and complaining about parents to someone who no longer has her own. I must really look spoiled to you."
"I think you were right to feel upset."
"Still, my problems must look so trivial in your eyes."
"I... don't think they are and even if they were, it's still okay to feel bad about them. I... uh... g-get upset about what are p-probably trivial things to you... all the time."
Lilly giggles.
"Thank you for cheering me up, Hanako. You're a true friend."
"Lilly... What will you do now?"
Lilly doesn't immediately answer. She merely closes her eyes and seems deep in thought for what feels like several minutes. Eventually a mysterious smile appears on her face for a second as if she's enjoying some private joke. Then she opens her eyes and turns her head in my direction.
"The right thing, Hanako. I'll do my best to support my parents to the best of my ability and hopefully get them to see me in a new light as well. I will do what I can to change this family for the better and do my part to turn it into what I feel it should be."
There's a determination on Lilly's face and in her voice that's unlike anything I've ever seen. It's a stronger determination than she's ever shown before. I can't help being a little awed.
"I hope... No, I know... t-that you'll succeed."
Lilly smiles and nods.
"Shall we go?"
"Okay."
We stand up, and Lilly once again holds out her hand. This time I don't feel frightened to let Lilly take hold of my arm as I guide her out of the bath and back to the changing area. As we dry ourselves off and start putting our clothes back on, Lilly flashes me a playful grin.
"Hanako, what happened here will stay between us, won't it? For the sake of Hisao's heart, it might be better if he doesn't know all the details."
We let out a mutual giggle to confirm our mutual oath of confidentiality, and, once dressed, we make our way out of the bathroom and down the stairs. As we enter the living room, I see Lilly's mother and Hisao sitting there. Karla gives her daughter an unsure look.
"Hello Lilly. How are you doing?"
Lilly answers her mother's question with a polite bow.
"Much better now, Mother. How about you?"
"Okay... I guess. I hope you're not too hungry yet. I didn't know when you would be finished, and I've yet to tell Allison to start preparing dinner."
"Actually, Mother, would it be okay to give Allison the rest of the day off?"
"Huh?"
"This is Hanako's and Hisao's last day here in Scotland. If it's okay with you, I would like to cook for them myself, just this once."
"Uh... Well, I don't mind. But..."
"Perhaps you could help me get the ingredients ready. I'm still not too familiar with the location of everything."
"Well, alright then."
And with that Lilly and her mother disappear into the kitchen. An hour later the four of us share a simple, but delicious meal, and afterwards Lilly accompanies Hisao and me on one last long walk through the neighborhood before the two of us retire for the evening.
--------------------------------------
09
The next morning, after a filling breakfast, Lilly and her mother take us to Inverness Airport where we're pleasantly surprised by a chipper Akira who's been waiting for us there. After checking in our luggage, the five of us have a cup of tea at one of the coffee shops near the security gate. The atmosphere is surprisingly relaxed with Lilly interacting in her usual way with Akira and Akira not displaying any outward signs of hostility towards her mother. Eventually Lilly's mother checks her watch and gives us a sad smile.
"Well, I think it's time for you two to head to your gate. You probably want to be among the first to board."
Hisao sighs.
"Well, I guess we'll be off then. Best of luck to all three of you. And maybe until some other time, Akira."
Akira grins.
"Hey, I'll still be in Japan from time to time. I'll try to accompany whatever business delegation is heading east. And whenever I'm in the country, I'll be sure to stop by at Yamaku. So we'll definitely meet again. "
Karla smiles.
"So will we. I'll probably be the one accompanying Lilly to Japan on her way back, so we'll probably meet again soon. Take care of yourself in the meantime, okay? And uh... Since you're in her class, be sure to tell Shizune that I said hello."
"We will."
Hisao gets up from his seat and looks at me.
"Shall we then?"
I nod uneasily. Saying goodbye to Lilly and Akira suddenly feels very hard.
"O-Okay."
We all get up, and Lilly's mother gives us a respectful bow.
"We’ve put you through quite a bit of trouble. Sorry for that. I hope you enjoyed your time here regardless."
"Oh, we definitely have. Right, Hanako?"
"Yes. It was great fun."
Karla smiles and then reaches into her wallet. She takes some banknotes and puts two of them in each of our hands. I look at them and there's a large 50 on each of them. That's 200 pounds in total. I'm not completely sure how much that is in yen, but I bet it's quite a bit.
"When you get back to Japan, please change this and use it to go on a couple of fun dates together. It's on us."
"We couldn't..."
Akira cuts off Hisao by giving him a playful shove.
"Just take it, you two."
Lilly smiles.
"You can tell me all about it when I get back."
Hisao and I exchange a resigned look. I don't think there's time for us to argue over this. We both put the banknotes away.
"Thank you."
Akira steps forward and gives Hisao a friendly pat on the shoulder.
"Have fun, you two. See ya later."
Then she walks up to me and gives me a warm hug while giving me a knowing look.
"See ya, Hanako. Don't be afraid to call sometime."
She leans in and whispers.
"And thanks for yesterday."
"Uh... O-okay."
Lilly briefly puts her hand on Hisao's shoulder.
"Hisao, please take good care of Hanako today, okay?"
"Will do, Lilly. Be sure to hang in there yourself."
"Hanako, will you be alright?"
"D-Don't worry about me, Lilly. I'll... make it."
Lilly steps forward and gives me a loving hug, followed by a light kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks for everything, Hanako. We'll keep in touch, okay?"
"Y-Yes."
We walk out of the coffee shop, and Hisao and I join the queue near the security gate. We turn around and wave goodbye one last time to the Satous. The crowds and security checks will no doubt ruin my day today, but until it's our turn to pass through I want to hold on to that image of Lilly and her family.
The sight of Lilly, Akira and their mother all wearing a smile.
Maybe things will turn out alright after all.
10
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:42 pm, edited 4 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 35
Chapter 35
01
The sound of footsteps walking into the room shakes me from my semi-slumber. I yawn and curiously peer past my bangs in an attempt to place the room I'm currently in, but quickly close my eyes again when the footsteps get closer and someone walks up to the couch I'm lying on. The footsteps stop close to me, and I can tell that whoever came into the room is now looking at me for a bit. I don't think it's Hisao who's now standing in front of me, so I pretend to be asleep. It may not be social, but I think the impression I leave here will be more positive if I limit the number of awkward conversations I get involved in. When I hear the person in front of me move away, I carefully open my eyes again, thankful that I'm lying on my left side so that my hair covers most of my face, and survey the room again.
Now that I'm fully awake, I recognize the room I'm in. This is the living room of Hisao's home, and the sound of bowls and dishes being placed on a table coming from behind me, mixed in with the occasional sound of soft humming, tells me that it was Hisao's mother who came in here earlier.
It's been two days since Hisao and I returned from Scotland. We were pretty exhausted when we finally made it back to Yamaku, especially since there was no Akira to give us a ride this time, and when we reached our dorm rooms we pretty much hit the sack immediately. Hisao spent most of yesterday getting his biological clock back on schedule while I spent most of the day behind the computer in the newspaper club's archive room downloading photos off my camera, burning them to CD and getting my favorite ones printed out. Late in the afternoon we boarded the train to the Nakai home, and we managed to get there before Hisao's parents. When they came home later that evening they were both happy to see him again, and they were pretty friendly to me as well. Hisao spent the remainder of the evening showing his parents a selection of the pictures we took and telling them about our vacation in Inverness.
The last time I met Hisao's parents, shortly after Hisao and I succesfully salvaged our relationship, I only stayed long enough to introduce myself and sit by Hisao's side for a few minutes while his parents were busy digesting the news that their son had been dating. I was a bit apprehensive about spending an extended amount of time around his parents, but my curiosity about his life before Yamaku overrode my social anxiety, and if his parents were put off by my shy and awkward behavior last night, they didn't really show it. Of course, neither of us had any interest in telling his parents about the more intimate aspect of our relationship and Hisao made sure not to disclose the fact that he and I shared a bed during our stay in Scotland, so we both kept our mouth shut when Hisao's parents said I could sleep on the couch in the living room when it was time to go to bed. I guess I shouldn't complain; the couch was a soft and very comfortable sleeping spot, but I still would have preferred to spend the night together with my boyfriend.
"Good morning."
Another person enters the room and I recognize the voice as the one belonging to Hisao's father.
"Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?"
"Quite well. Is... ah... Hanako still asleep?"
"I think she is, so let's keep our voices down a bit so we don't wake her up."
I hear Hisao's father let out a sleepy yawn.
"Well, it was a short night."
I hear the sound of liquid being poured. I can't see Hisao's parents from where I'm lying, but I suspect they've started their breakfast.
"But you have to admit it's a special occasion when our son not only returns home for the first time since his transfer, but also brings his girlfriend along and souvenirs and photos from a vacation on the other side of the world."
"Yes, it's nice he'll be staying for a whole week. I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten about us."
Hisao's mother lets out a chuckle.
"That's not very nice, dear. He has called us twice during the weeks after his hospitalisation, and he also sent us a text message to let us know that he and his friends arrived safely in Scotland."
"Well, I can't deny he has been improving lately."
"He's been through a lot this year, and I think he simply needed some time to learn that good things still can and do happen to him despite his condition. I think he's starting to realize that. While he was in the hospital he grew so distant from everyone, but last night while he was talking about their vacation it was almost like his heart attack never took place."
"Maybe that's also because there's a girl in his life now. When he called me yesterday he said that she was curious about his life before transferring to Yamaku. I'm willing to bet that was a strong factor behind his decision."
"It's reassuring to know that she has a good influence on him."
I silently smile a bit. It sounds like they approve of me dating their son. That makes me very happy and a bit relieved as well. Dating someone is tough when his parents don't like you, and I don't think I'd be able to deal with disapproval of that kind. I still feel a bit ashamed that I wasn't even there for Hisao during his last hospitalisation.
I hear a snicker.
"I got the impression last time that he has become quite the ladies' man. When we reached the dorm building last time there were no less than three young ladies waiting there to welcome him back. No wonder he didn't want to come home with us that day. While he was introducing them to us I was actually wondering if he was perhaps seeing one of them."
"That's what I also wondered about back then, but I couldn't really decide at the time which one of them was the more likely possibility."
"You mean you weren't sure what type of girl he was most likely to go for?"
"If Hanako had been there with those other three at the beginning I think it would have been easy. When he came into that teahouse with her in tow, I immediately had a hunch he wasn't going to introduce us to simply another friend. That was before I even noticed he was holding her hand."
"A hunch?"
"Do you remember back when Hisao was still in the hospital and there was this dark-haired girl who dropped by several times during the first few weeks? Hanako reminds me a little bit of her."
"Yes, I remember. What was her name again?"
"I'm not completely sure anymore, but I believe her name sounded a little bit like Hanako's."
"They weren't that similar, were they? If that other girl had been even only half as shy as Hanako, I'd probably remember that."
My smile immediately drops upon hearing that. I know I'm really shy. I'm trying not to be, but I'm still having a hard time relaxing around Hisao's parents, probably for no other reason than the fact that they're my boyfriend's parents. I let Hisao do most of the talking last night and had been hoping that they wouldn't have paid attention to the fact that I barely said a word. Looks like they noticed after all. Finding out that Hisao's parents might have been put off by my timidity has left a bad feeling in my stomach. I pray that this conversation isn't going to end with them agreeing that it would have been better if Hisao had picked up Lilly or Shizune as a girlfriend instead of me.
"I'm not saying they were extremely similar, but I do feel they shared a few superficial traits. Dark and fairly long hair, kind of girlish and coming across as just a little bit delicate. I wouldn't be surprised if those traits are what Hisao finds attractive in a girl."
"You're acting like that girl from the hospital was a girlfriend, but Hisao insisted she was merely a classmate. "
Hisao's mother chuckles playfully.
"Did you believe him when he said that? The few classmates that visited only did so once or twice the first week. And Hisao never mentioned her before as someone he hung out with."
"Well, if there was a relationship before his condition was first triggered I don't think it lasted throughout his hospital stay."
"I don't think so either. I doubt it was just us he grew distant from over those months."
Although I realize that eavesdropping isn't very lady-like, this conversation is very interesting, and I strain to hear more without alerting them to the fact that I'm already awake. However, my attempt at listening in is suddenly cut short.
02
Rrriiinngggggg
"Eek!"
I let out a surprised yelp before I can stop myself when my cell phone, which is lying on a side table next to the couch I'm resting on, suddenly rings. I grab it as quickly as I can, but the knowledge that there are probably two gazes aimed at me right now causes me to fumble a bit, and I nearly end up dropping it out of my shaking hands in my attempts to fold it open as quickly as I can. I manage to fight off my anxiety long enough to press the accept-button, and I try not to look in the direction of Hisao's parents.
"H-Hello?"
"Hello Hanako."
"Lilly!"
I'm surprised for a moment that Lilly would call this early before remembering that we're in different time zones. I didn't recognize the number on the display, so Lilly's probably using her parents' phone right now.
"Is it okay for me to call this early in the morning? I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"N-No, I was already awa.... eh... ummm."
Damnit! I blush as I realize what I just blurted out. Hisao's parents must think badly of me now for pretending to be asleep in order to eavesdrop on their conversation instead of properly acknowledging their presence. While I struggle to react, Lilly replies in a worried tone.
"Hanako, is something wrong? Where are you right now?"
"At H-Hisao's h-home in Chiba. Hisao's p-parents are h-having breakfast right now."
"Ah. Perhaps it would be more convenient if I called back in half an hour?"
"Okay."
"Very well. Please give Mister and Mrs. Nakai my regards."
"Y-Yes."
"Thank you. I will talk to you later then."
"B-Bye."
I snap my phone shut and meekly turn to face Hisao's parents who are looking back at me from their seating spots at the table. They give me a friendly nod which I manage to mimic with some effort.
03
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
"G-Good m-morning. Ummm... L-Lilly s-said hello."
I put my phone away and slowly get off the couch. Hisao's mother looks at my awkward movement with a slightly worried expression.
"Are you alright? Was the couch comfortable enough?"
I quickly nod to reassure her.
"I'm... often a l-little s-stiff in the m-morning."
My scar tissue is often stiff after a night of sleep and requires a few stretching sessions to loosen up. It's a little worse than usual today because the couch left me with little room to move during the night. My scars are also itching a bit, but I can probably handle that for a little while.
"Sorry for not waiting for you and Hisao, but we both have work today, and we thought you were both going to take it easy. Aren't you suffering from jet lag?"
I quietly shake my head.
"I'm o-okay, but Hisao m-might s-sleep in this m-morning."
Hisao's mother makes a gesture towards the fridge.
"I'm terribly sorry that we lack the time to be good hosts right now, but please feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the cupboard and the fridge. There should be more than enough in there for several meals."
"T-Thank you."
They get up and put their bowls, cups and dishes next to the sink. Hisao's mother gives me a friendly nod.
"Please make yourself at home here."
"Thank y-you."
I take a brief glance at the dishes on the sink unit.
"Ummm..."
"Don't worry about those. It's Hisao's task to do them."
"Oh."
Hisao's parents make their way to the entryway area in order to put on their shoes. Before leaving the room, Hisao's father turns to me.
"We expect to be back around nine o' clock. Maybe 8:45 if we're lucky and get an earlier train. There's no need to wait for us with dinner."
"I'll t-tell Hisao."
"We'll see you this evening then. Bye."
"B-Bye."
A few moments later I hear the door close, and I'm on my own again. As I start wondering what to do now, my attention returns to my itching right side. First things first, I guess. I return to the area where I spent the night and do a few careful stretch exercises to get the stiffness out of my body. I then make my way to the bathroom. Most of my stuff is still in my suitcase, which we stored in Hisao's room, but my lotion is one of the things I had the foresight to take out in advance. I lock the door, take off my nightgown and apply some of the moisturizer to the itching areas. I then put my nightgown back on and make my way back to the kitchen, putting my hair clip on in the process.
They said that there was no need to bother, but I don't think it hurts doing something back for the hospitality they've given me.
My mind made up, I get some dishwashing liquid, turn on the tap and quickly start scrubbing the first bowl on the counter with the brush lying near the sink. I realize that Lilly might call back at any moment, so I do my best to finish washing and drying everything as quickly as I can. It turns out that my timing was impeccable, because the moment I finish drying off the last dish I had left, my phone springs to life to alert me of the incoming call.
Rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg - rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg
"Coming!"
I cheerfully pick up my phone and press the accept-button once more.
"Hi Lilly."
"Hello Hanako. You sound a lot more at ease this time."
"I'm on my own right now. Hisao is still asleep and his parents just left for work."
"How are Hisao's parents doing?"
"I'm... n-not really sure. I haven't really s-spoken with them since we g-got here.They seem to be doing well. They were happy to see Hisao, that much I could tell."
There's a short pause on the other end of the line as Lilly deduces the implication of my words.
"Hanako, I don't think there's any need to be afraid that Hisao's parents will not accept you. When Shizune, Misha and I spent time with them a few weeks ago they came across as fine and kind people. That was an impression all three of us shared. I am certain they will give you the time you need to open up to them."
"I... h-hope so."
"It sounds exciting, getting to spend some time at the place where Hisao grew up and getting to know what his life before Yamaku was like."
"Yes, that's why I wanted to go here. I was a bit curious about that."
"So this was your idea?"
"Yes. We were having brunch at the Shanghai, and we were talking about how empty the school was because most students returned home for the summer break, and Hisao said that reminded him he needed to let his parents know he and I were back already. I asked him if he was going to return home to see his parents too. He asked if I wouldn't be lonely here and I... ummm..."
"You asked if you could come along?"
I started asking, but I ended up tripping over my words before I could get half-way through the question. Fortunately, Hisao quickly got the hint and when he asked if I wanted to come along I only had to nod.
"S-Something like that. So Hisao called his father, and he said it w-was okay if I came along too. We'll be staying here for a week."
"I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, Hanako. I'm happy for you."
"I'll be s-sure to tell you about it when you return."
I suddenly remember that there's a large time difference between Scotland and Japan. I believe it's nearly half a day earlier there than here. Given that it's early morning here, it must be pretty late over there.
"Lilly... Isn't it late in Inverness right now?"
"It's around midnight here, but I wasn't very tired yet, and I found myself wondering how you and Hisao were doing."
"We're doing well, but... How are you d-doing, Lilly?"
A long silence. Looks like Lilly doesn't want to wave the whole thing off by saying she's doing well, but she probably doesn't want me to get worried over her either.
"I've mostly spent the last two days keeping Father company at the hospital. We didn't really talk that much, but one thing he told me yesterday was that you and Hisao spoke very highly of me to him and that he would like to get to know me the way you two know me. I suppose... That's his way of apologizing to me."
"Yes, it sounds that way."
"I would have liked to start telling him about all the things he has missed over the years, but something told me that now wasn't the right time. He seemed too distracted to really listen to what I'd tell him."
"Distracted? About... work?"
"Yes, apparently the meetings in the US will not be postponed despite his hospitalization, meaning that the final few negotiations will proceed without his involvement. It appears that the thought of not being able to finish what he started occupies his mind day and night. The doctors here told him that worrying and stress at this point will merely extend his stay in the hospital, but he still can't let it go. I can't say I blame him entirely."
"How about your mother?"
"She offered to take some time off from work to be at his side during his stay in the hospital despite the fact that I think she's still a bit angry at him for not letting her in on the risk he was running, but he refused that. He felt the company needed her more than ever now that he's out of commission. She respects his request, but I can tell she does so with a great deal of reluctance. It's a shame. I've spoken to Allison, and she also confirmed that Mother and Father mostly led separate lives here outside the workplace. This incident could give them the opportunity to get closer to each other again if only Father could put the company matters out of his mind."
I can't say I have any business experience, but I can imagine how it must feel to work on something for years and then have someone else take it off your hands a few meters before the finish line. I'd probably feel like a failure. But it still seems disturbing how focussed Lilly's father is on this.
"If it's... that important to him, can't they h-hold the meetings over the phone? Do a teleconference?"
"I don't think the board would allow that. Meetings are always conducted in person, especially important ones. Besides... I don't think Father would be willing to speak to his business partners on the phone the way things are now. His rib fractures make it painful for him to speak at length."
"I'm... s-s-sorry."
"Don't apologize for doing the right thing, Hanako. I'm glad you were there when we needed you."
A short pause takes place as neither one of us really knows how to continue. Then Lilly speaks up again, deciding that it's probably for the best to change the subject.
"So Hanako... What are your plans for today?"
"Hmmm. I don't really know yet. I'm... not sure what Hisao wants to do. We'll have to make breakfast... or lunch if he decides to sleep in. I'd... like to see some of the places he remembers from his childhood. His old school maybe. Maybe we can go on a date today too."
"That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope Hisao will not sleep in too long then."
"How about you, Lilly?"
"Probably the same thing as I have been doing the last two days. I can't do anything to speed up Father's recovery or help him out with anything related to his work, so the best thing I can do is keep him company while he's in the hospital."
"I think... that's very important too, Lilly. Being hospitalized makes you l-lonely very quickly, and even though he might not admit it, I'm s-sure he's looking forward to your visits."
"...I understand, Hanako. Thank you."
I try not to think back too much on my own hospitalization ten years ago, but I have no doubt Lilly sensed that I was speaking from personal experience.
"Hanako, may I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is first aid difficult to learn? You seemed to have picked it up fairly quickly. I was wondering... Maybe I could learn it too. At least the basics."
"Are you thinking of following a training?"
"If that's possible for me. I learned yesterday that Mother has had first responder training herself years ago, but she wasn't there when Father collapsed. I... I would rather not ever go through a situation like that again..."
I can emphatize completely with that. I know from experience how extremely frightening it is to have someone you care about nearly die in front of you. I wouldn't wish that sort of thing on anyone.
"I t-think you could easily learn to check someone's vital signs or do CPR and artificial respiration. You don't really need sight for that. I r-really think you should go for it, Lilly. Maybe someone at your father's company gives training. They d-do make emergency devices there."
"Thank you Hanako. If you think it's a realistic goal for me to pursue then I will ask Mother about it tomorrow. Who knows. Maybe I will return to Japan with a certificate of my own."
I giggle.
"Then w-we would need to hold a celebration p-party for you too."
We both laugh out loud at that. The memory of that wacky night has liften the mood, though I still cringe for a moment when thinking back on my actions that night. We spend some time simply making small talk until I pick up on Lilly stifling a yawn.
"You must be tired."
"A little bit. It has been a rather long day. Perhaps I should try and get some sleep."
"That would probably be a good idea."
"Thank you for the company, Hanako. It was good talking to you."
It dawns on me that for all her efforts in easing her father's loneliness, Lilly's probably feeling a bit lonely herself over there with her being far away from Yamaku in a relatively unfamiliar environment and with her mother and sister both dealing with the fallout from the situation at work. She's doing her best to support her father, but I wonder if anyone is supporting her. Maybe I could be that support? I doubt phone bills will be a problem for her and her family.
"L-Lilly... ummm... Why d-don't you call back again tomorrow? If you... want to talk, I mean."
"Would that be okay, Hanako?"
"Of course. You can call me anytime, Lilly. Anytime you want."
Lilly chuckles at my enthusiasm.
"I might just take you up on that offer then, Hanako. And thank you again. Please give Hisao my regards too. And enjoy your day."
"Okay. Bye."
"Goodbye."
01
The sound of footsteps walking into the room shakes me from my semi-slumber. I yawn and curiously peer past my bangs in an attempt to place the room I'm currently in, but quickly close my eyes again when the footsteps get closer and someone walks up to the couch I'm lying on. The footsteps stop close to me, and I can tell that whoever came into the room is now looking at me for a bit. I don't think it's Hisao who's now standing in front of me, so I pretend to be asleep. It may not be social, but I think the impression I leave here will be more positive if I limit the number of awkward conversations I get involved in. When I hear the person in front of me move away, I carefully open my eyes again, thankful that I'm lying on my left side so that my hair covers most of my face, and survey the room again.
Now that I'm fully awake, I recognize the room I'm in. This is the living room of Hisao's home, and the sound of bowls and dishes being placed on a table coming from behind me, mixed in with the occasional sound of soft humming, tells me that it was Hisao's mother who came in here earlier.
It's been two days since Hisao and I returned from Scotland. We were pretty exhausted when we finally made it back to Yamaku, especially since there was no Akira to give us a ride this time, and when we reached our dorm rooms we pretty much hit the sack immediately. Hisao spent most of yesterday getting his biological clock back on schedule while I spent most of the day behind the computer in the newspaper club's archive room downloading photos off my camera, burning them to CD and getting my favorite ones printed out. Late in the afternoon we boarded the train to the Nakai home, and we managed to get there before Hisao's parents. When they came home later that evening they were both happy to see him again, and they were pretty friendly to me as well. Hisao spent the remainder of the evening showing his parents a selection of the pictures we took and telling them about our vacation in Inverness.
The last time I met Hisao's parents, shortly after Hisao and I succesfully salvaged our relationship, I only stayed long enough to introduce myself and sit by Hisao's side for a few minutes while his parents were busy digesting the news that their son had been dating. I was a bit apprehensive about spending an extended amount of time around his parents, but my curiosity about his life before Yamaku overrode my social anxiety, and if his parents were put off by my shy and awkward behavior last night, they didn't really show it. Of course, neither of us had any interest in telling his parents about the more intimate aspect of our relationship and Hisao made sure not to disclose the fact that he and I shared a bed during our stay in Scotland, so we both kept our mouth shut when Hisao's parents said I could sleep on the couch in the living room when it was time to go to bed. I guess I shouldn't complain; the couch was a soft and very comfortable sleeping spot, but I still would have preferred to spend the night together with my boyfriend.
"Good morning."
Another person enters the room and I recognize the voice as the one belonging to Hisao's father.
"Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?"
"Quite well. Is... ah... Hanako still asleep?"
"I think she is, so let's keep our voices down a bit so we don't wake her up."
I hear Hisao's father let out a sleepy yawn.
"Well, it was a short night."
I hear the sound of liquid being poured. I can't see Hisao's parents from where I'm lying, but I suspect they've started their breakfast.
"But you have to admit it's a special occasion when our son not only returns home for the first time since his transfer, but also brings his girlfriend along and souvenirs and photos from a vacation on the other side of the world."
"Yes, it's nice he'll be staying for a whole week. I was beginning to wonder if he had forgotten about us."
Hisao's mother lets out a chuckle.
"That's not very nice, dear. He has called us twice during the weeks after his hospitalisation, and he also sent us a text message to let us know that he and his friends arrived safely in Scotland."
"Well, I can't deny he has been improving lately."
"He's been through a lot this year, and I think he simply needed some time to learn that good things still can and do happen to him despite his condition. I think he's starting to realize that. While he was in the hospital he grew so distant from everyone, but last night while he was talking about their vacation it was almost like his heart attack never took place."
"Maybe that's also because there's a girl in his life now. When he called me yesterday he said that she was curious about his life before transferring to Yamaku. I'm willing to bet that was a strong factor behind his decision."
"It's reassuring to know that she has a good influence on him."
I silently smile a bit. It sounds like they approve of me dating their son. That makes me very happy and a bit relieved as well. Dating someone is tough when his parents don't like you, and I don't think I'd be able to deal with disapproval of that kind. I still feel a bit ashamed that I wasn't even there for Hisao during his last hospitalisation.
I hear a snicker.
"I got the impression last time that he has become quite the ladies' man. When we reached the dorm building last time there were no less than three young ladies waiting there to welcome him back. No wonder he didn't want to come home with us that day. While he was introducing them to us I was actually wondering if he was perhaps seeing one of them."
"That's what I also wondered about back then, but I couldn't really decide at the time which one of them was the more likely possibility."
"You mean you weren't sure what type of girl he was most likely to go for?"
"If Hanako had been there with those other three at the beginning I think it would have been easy. When he came into that teahouse with her in tow, I immediately had a hunch he wasn't going to introduce us to simply another friend. That was before I even noticed he was holding her hand."
"A hunch?"
"Do you remember back when Hisao was still in the hospital and there was this dark-haired girl who dropped by several times during the first few weeks? Hanako reminds me a little bit of her."
"Yes, I remember. What was her name again?"
"I'm not completely sure anymore, but I believe her name sounded a little bit like Hanako's."
"They weren't that similar, were they? If that other girl had been even only half as shy as Hanako, I'd probably remember that."
My smile immediately drops upon hearing that. I know I'm really shy. I'm trying not to be, but I'm still having a hard time relaxing around Hisao's parents, probably for no other reason than the fact that they're my boyfriend's parents. I let Hisao do most of the talking last night and had been hoping that they wouldn't have paid attention to the fact that I barely said a word. Looks like they noticed after all. Finding out that Hisao's parents might have been put off by my timidity has left a bad feeling in my stomach. I pray that this conversation isn't going to end with them agreeing that it would have been better if Hisao had picked up Lilly or Shizune as a girlfriend instead of me.
"I'm not saying they were extremely similar, but I do feel they shared a few superficial traits. Dark and fairly long hair, kind of girlish and coming across as just a little bit delicate. I wouldn't be surprised if those traits are what Hisao finds attractive in a girl."
"You're acting like that girl from the hospital was a girlfriend, but Hisao insisted she was merely a classmate. "
Hisao's mother chuckles playfully.
"Did you believe him when he said that? The few classmates that visited only did so once or twice the first week. And Hisao never mentioned her before as someone he hung out with."
"Well, if there was a relationship before his condition was first triggered I don't think it lasted throughout his hospital stay."
"I don't think so either. I doubt it was just us he grew distant from over those months."
Although I realize that eavesdropping isn't very lady-like, this conversation is very interesting, and I strain to hear more without alerting them to the fact that I'm already awake. However, my attempt at listening in is suddenly cut short.
02
Rrriiinngggggg
"Eek!"
I let out a surprised yelp before I can stop myself when my cell phone, which is lying on a side table next to the couch I'm resting on, suddenly rings. I grab it as quickly as I can, but the knowledge that there are probably two gazes aimed at me right now causes me to fumble a bit, and I nearly end up dropping it out of my shaking hands in my attempts to fold it open as quickly as I can. I manage to fight off my anxiety long enough to press the accept-button, and I try not to look in the direction of Hisao's parents.
"H-Hello?"
"Hello Hanako."
"Lilly!"
I'm surprised for a moment that Lilly would call this early before remembering that we're in different time zones. I didn't recognize the number on the display, so Lilly's probably using her parents' phone right now.
"Is it okay for me to call this early in the morning? I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"N-No, I was already awa.... eh... ummm."
Damnit! I blush as I realize what I just blurted out. Hisao's parents must think badly of me now for pretending to be asleep in order to eavesdrop on their conversation instead of properly acknowledging their presence. While I struggle to react, Lilly replies in a worried tone.
"Hanako, is something wrong? Where are you right now?"
"At H-Hisao's h-home in Chiba. Hisao's p-parents are h-having breakfast right now."
"Ah. Perhaps it would be more convenient if I called back in half an hour?"
"Okay."
"Very well. Please give Mister and Mrs. Nakai my regards."
"Y-Yes."
"Thank you. I will talk to you later then."
"B-Bye."
I snap my phone shut and meekly turn to face Hisao's parents who are looking back at me from their seating spots at the table. They give me a friendly nod which I manage to mimic with some effort.
03
"Good morning."
"Good morning."
"G-Good m-morning. Ummm... L-Lilly s-said hello."
I put my phone away and slowly get off the couch. Hisao's mother looks at my awkward movement with a slightly worried expression.
"Are you alright? Was the couch comfortable enough?"
I quickly nod to reassure her.
"I'm... often a l-little s-stiff in the m-morning."
My scar tissue is often stiff after a night of sleep and requires a few stretching sessions to loosen up. It's a little worse than usual today because the couch left me with little room to move during the night. My scars are also itching a bit, but I can probably handle that for a little while.
"Sorry for not waiting for you and Hisao, but we both have work today, and we thought you were both going to take it easy. Aren't you suffering from jet lag?"
I quietly shake my head.
"I'm o-okay, but Hisao m-might s-sleep in this m-morning."
Hisao's mother makes a gesture towards the fridge.
"I'm terribly sorry that we lack the time to be good hosts right now, but please feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the cupboard and the fridge. There should be more than enough in there for several meals."
"T-Thank you."
They get up and put their bowls, cups and dishes next to the sink. Hisao's mother gives me a friendly nod.
"Please make yourself at home here."
"Thank y-you."
I take a brief glance at the dishes on the sink unit.
"Ummm..."
"Don't worry about those. It's Hisao's task to do them."
"Oh."
Hisao's parents make their way to the entryway area in order to put on their shoes. Before leaving the room, Hisao's father turns to me.
"We expect to be back around nine o' clock. Maybe 8:45 if we're lucky and get an earlier train. There's no need to wait for us with dinner."
"I'll t-tell Hisao."
"We'll see you this evening then. Bye."
"B-Bye."
A few moments later I hear the door close, and I'm on my own again. As I start wondering what to do now, my attention returns to my itching right side. First things first, I guess. I return to the area where I spent the night and do a few careful stretch exercises to get the stiffness out of my body. I then make my way to the bathroom. Most of my stuff is still in my suitcase, which we stored in Hisao's room, but my lotion is one of the things I had the foresight to take out in advance. I lock the door, take off my nightgown and apply some of the moisturizer to the itching areas. I then put my nightgown back on and make my way back to the kitchen, putting my hair clip on in the process.
They said that there was no need to bother, but I don't think it hurts doing something back for the hospitality they've given me.
My mind made up, I get some dishwashing liquid, turn on the tap and quickly start scrubbing the first bowl on the counter with the brush lying near the sink. I realize that Lilly might call back at any moment, so I do my best to finish washing and drying everything as quickly as I can. It turns out that my timing was impeccable, because the moment I finish drying off the last dish I had left, my phone springs to life to alert me of the incoming call.
Rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg - rrriiinngggggg rrrriiinnnngggg
"Coming!"
I cheerfully pick up my phone and press the accept-button once more.
"Hi Lilly."
"Hello Hanako. You sound a lot more at ease this time."
"I'm on my own right now. Hisao is still asleep and his parents just left for work."
"How are Hisao's parents doing?"
"I'm... n-not really sure. I haven't really s-spoken with them since we g-got here.They seem to be doing well. They were happy to see Hisao, that much I could tell."
There's a short pause on the other end of the line as Lilly deduces the implication of my words.
"Hanako, I don't think there's any need to be afraid that Hisao's parents will not accept you. When Shizune, Misha and I spent time with them a few weeks ago they came across as fine and kind people. That was an impression all three of us shared. I am certain they will give you the time you need to open up to them."
"I... h-hope so."
"It sounds exciting, getting to spend some time at the place where Hisao grew up and getting to know what his life before Yamaku was like."
"Yes, that's why I wanted to go here. I was a bit curious about that."
"So this was your idea?"
"Yes. We were having brunch at the Shanghai, and we were talking about how empty the school was because most students returned home for the summer break, and Hisao said that reminded him he needed to let his parents know he and I were back already. I asked him if he was going to return home to see his parents too. He asked if I wouldn't be lonely here and I... ummm..."
"You asked if you could come along?"
I started asking, but I ended up tripping over my words before I could get half-way through the question. Fortunately, Hisao quickly got the hint and when he asked if I wanted to come along I only had to nod.
"S-Something like that. So Hisao called his father, and he said it w-was okay if I came along too. We'll be staying here for a week."
"I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun, Hanako. I'm happy for you."
"I'll be s-sure to tell you about it when you return."
I suddenly remember that there's a large time difference between Scotland and Japan. I believe it's nearly half a day earlier there than here. Given that it's early morning here, it must be pretty late over there.
"Lilly... Isn't it late in Inverness right now?"
"It's around midnight here, but I wasn't very tired yet, and I found myself wondering how you and Hisao were doing."
"We're doing well, but... How are you d-doing, Lilly?"
A long silence. Looks like Lilly doesn't want to wave the whole thing off by saying she's doing well, but she probably doesn't want me to get worried over her either.
"I've mostly spent the last two days keeping Father company at the hospital. We didn't really talk that much, but one thing he told me yesterday was that you and Hisao spoke very highly of me to him and that he would like to get to know me the way you two know me. I suppose... That's his way of apologizing to me."
"Yes, it sounds that way."
"I would have liked to start telling him about all the things he has missed over the years, but something told me that now wasn't the right time. He seemed too distracted to really listen to what I'd tell him."
"Distracted? About... work?"
"Yes, apparently the meetings in the US will not be postponed despite his hospitalization, meaning that the final few negotiations will proceed without his involvement. It appears that the thought of not being able to finish what he started occupies his mind day and night. The doctors here told him that worrying and stress at this point will merely extend his stay in the hospital, but he still can't let it go. I can't say I blame him entirely."
"How about your mother?"
"She offered to take some time off from work to be at his side during his stay in the hospital despite the fact that I think she's still a bit angry at him for not letting her in on the risk he was running, but he refused that. He felt the company needed her more than ever now that he's out of commission. She respects his request, but I can tell she does so with a great deal of reluctance. It's a shame. I've spoken to Allison, and she also confirmed that Mother and Father mostly led separate lives here outside the workplace. This incident could give them the opportunity to get closer to each other again if only Father could put the company matters out of his mind."
I can't say I have any business experience, but I can imagine how it must feel to work on something for years and then have someone else take it off your hands a few meters before the finish line. I'd probably feel like a failure. But it still seems disturbing how focussed Lilly's father is on this.
"If it's... that important to him, can't they h-hold the meetings over the phone? Do a teleconference?"
"I don't think the board would allow that. Meetings are always conducted in person, especially important ones. Besides... I don't think Father would be willing to speak to his business partners on the phone the way things are now. His rib fractures make it painful for him to speak at length."
"I'm... s-s-sorry."
"Don't apologize for doing the right thing, Hanako. I'm glad you were there when we needed you."
A short pause takes place as neither one of us really knows how to continue. Then Lilly speaks up again, deciding that it's probably for the best to change the subject.
"So Hanako... What are your plans for today?"
"Hmmm. I don't really know yet. I'm... not sure what Hisao wants to do. We'll have to make breakfast... or lunch if he decides to sleep in. I'd... like to see some of the places he remembers from his childhood. His old school maybe. Maybe we can go on a date today too."
"That sounds like a lot of fun. I hope Hisao will not sleep in too long then."
"How about you, Lilly?"
"Probably the same thing as I have been doing the last two days. I can't do anything to speed up Father's recovery or help him out with anything related to his work, so the best thing I can do is keep him company while he's in the hospital."
"I think... that's very important too, Lilly. Being hospitalized makes you l-lonely very quickly, and even though he might not admit it, I'm s-sure he's looking forward to your visits."
"...I understand, Hanako. Thank you."
I try not to think back too much on my own hospitalization ten years ago, but I have no doubt Lilly sensed that I was speaking from personal experience.
"Hanako, may I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Is first aid difficult to learn? You seemed to have picked it up fairly quickly. I was wondering... Maybe I could learn it too. At least the basics."
"Are you thinking of following a training?"
"If that's possible for me. I learned yesterday that Mother has had first responder training herself years ago, but she wasn't there when Father collapsed. I... I would rather not ever go through a situation like that again..."
I can emphatize completely with that. I know from experience how extremely frightening it is to have someone you care about nearly die in front of you. I wouldn't wish that sort of thing on anyone.
"I t-think you could easily learn to check someone's vital signs or do CPR and artificial respiration. You don't really need sight for that. I r-really think you should go for it, Lilly. Maybe someone at your father's company gives training. They d-do make emergency devices there."
"Thank you Hanako. If you think it's a realistic goal for me to pursue then I will ask Mother about it tomorrow. Who knows. Maybe I will return to Japan with a certificate of my own."
I giggle.
"Then w-we would need to hold a celebration p-party for you too."
We both laugh out loud at that. The memory of that wacky night has liften the mood, though I still cringe for a moment when thinking back on my actions that night. We spend some time simply making small talk until I pick up on Lilly stifling a yawn.
"You must be tired."
"A little bit. It has been a rather long day. Perhaps I should try and get some sleep."
"That would probably be a good idea."
"Thank you for the company, Hanako. It was good talking to you."
It dawns on me that for all her efforts in easing her father's loneliness, Lilly's probably feeling a bit lonely herself over there with her being far away from Yamaku in a relatively unfamiliar environment and with her mother and sister both dealing with the fallout from the situation at work. She's doing her best to support her father, but I wonder if anyone is supporting her. Maybe I could be that support? I doubt phone bills will be a problem for her and her family.
"L-Lilly... ummm... Why d-don't you call back again tomorrow? If you... want to talk, I mean."
"Would that be okay, Hanako?"
"Of course. You can call me anytime, Lilly. Anytime you want."
Lilly chuckles at my enthusiasm.
"I might just take you up on that offer then, Hanako. And thank you again. Please give Hisao my regards too. And enjoy your day."
"Okay. Bye."
"Goodbye."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:50 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 35 - cont.
As I close my phone I think back on the conversation I just had. Now that the phone call is over I realize that this talk was slightly different from the conversations we used to have. In the past, the focus was almost always on me - how I was doing. Yet today we talked mostly about Lilly's situation, and Lilly seemed fine and comfortable with that, and she didn't make any attempts to sweep her own troubles under the rug. I think back on what Akira said - about how in this situation, where Akira herself can't be an objective listener, I should be the pillar of support for Lilly. This is certainly not a role I would have expected myself to fulfill a few months ago, but even I can no longer deny that my friendship with Lilly has changed a lot over the last few months. And I think it has changed for the better.
I put my phone away, get off the couch and smile a bit to myself as I ponder these thoughts. I really hope she'll call again tomorrow.
In the meantime, I'm left trying to figure out what to do now. My books are still in my suitcase, and I don't want to risk waking up Hisao by walking into his room and retrieving them. I could watch television, but I don't really feel like doing that right now. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head, and I smile.
I could surprise Hisao by making breakfast for the two of us. His parents did say we could use whatever ingredients were in the fridge and cupboard. I quickly check both and see that there's enough in there for a decent meal.
I put on the apron hanging on a hook near the fridge, open the cupboard and start collecting the ingredients for the meal I have in mind.
--------------------------------------
04
As my breakfast preparation approaches its end, I find myself cheerfully humming a song I've had in my head for the last 15 minutes. This part is rather hectic. I'm still in the process of grilling the fillets of salmon, but I've also kept my soup on the stove to keep it hot, and I've once read that miso soup shouldn't be allowed to boil once the miso paste has been added. Still, despite having to carefully watch what I'm doing, my mood couldn't be better.
As I turn to put a bottle of soy sauce back in the cupboard, I see someone's reflection in the window from the corner of my eye, and when I turn around, I suddenly become aware of my boyfriend, still in his boxers and shirt, standing near the door. The surprise startles me enough to make me drop the bottle I was holding. Fortunately it's a plastic bottle so it doesn't break. While I'm struggling to think of how to react, Hisao quickly walks up to me, takes the bottle off the floor and puts it in its designated place.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's o-okay. Ah... f-for how long have you been standing here already?"
Instead of answering, Hisao simply looks past me, and when I turn around I notice that steam is already rising from my soup. I hurriedly turn down the heat. I'm annoyed by how easily I can get distracted by things that would be so minor to others. Hisao appears to read my thoughts and briefly places a hand on my shoulder.
"I could help if you like, but if you want to do this yourself I'll just go back to my room and take my batch of medication."
"I'll... be done in less than ten minutes."
"Okay."
I breathe a sigh of relief as he walks out of the room. I'm a bit bummed that the surprise is now gone, but I appreciate the fact that he offered to let me be for a little while. Him looking over my shoulder would probably make me nervous to the point where I'd start messing things up in my attempts to avoid messing things up. It's really nice that Hisao seems to start intuitively sensing these kinds of things about me.
With my nerves calmed a bit I manage to focus my attention back on my nearly-finished breakfast. Fortunately there are no further interruptions and five minutes later a full-fledged Japanese breakfast graces the nearby kitchen table. As I finish shuffling things around a bit in an attempt to make the whole thing look as good as possible, the sound of the door opening alerts me to the fact that my boyfriend has made his extremely well-timed return, making me wonder for a second if he hasn't been secretly standing behind the door the entire time.
He briefly looks over the nicely laid table and then looks back at me with a smile.
"Good morning."
The loving way he says it makes it impossible for me to resist smiling back at him.
"G-Good morning, d-dear. D-Did you s-sleep well?"
He frowns for a moment at my reply before his smile returns, him probably having decided to play along.
"Quite well. Thank you dear."
He looks over the table a second time.
"Ummm... I made miso soup with tofu and seaweed, steamed rice, grilled s-salmon and fermented soy beans with soy sauce."
"It looks delicious. I can't wait to taste it."
"Shall we?"
I take off my apron, hang it back in its previous place, share a quick good morning kiss with my boyfriend and then sit at the table across from him. I hold my breath and give him an expectant look as he takes his first sip of my miso soup. When he sends an approving nod my way, I let out a relieved sigh and start eating my own portion.
"Tastes good."
"Thanks."
We finish the soup and move on to the fish, rice and beans.
"Hisao?"
"Yes?"
"So ummm... for how long were you... in here before I n-noticed you?"
"Oh that? For a few minutes, I think."
"A few minutes?"
Now I wonder what exactly he was staring at. He smiles a bit awkwardly.
"It was quite the pleasant sight, and I was afraid you'd get jumpy if you knew I was there."
"What w-was a pleasant sight? M-Me in... an apron?"
He chuckles.
"That too."
He stops to think for a moment, and I wonder if he's thinking something dirty, but before I can come up with a remark, he continues.
"But I was just speaking in general. The sight of you being in a good mood, humming and doing something you obviously seemed to enjoy was... kind of cute."
My heart skips a beat when I feel his foot brush lightly against mine. It takes me a second before I can react.
"Uh... T-thanks."
"Given your mood, I take it you've slept pretty well?"
"That too. But Lilly called me this morning, and we talked for a bit."
"Lilly called? How is she?"
"She's... holding up. I think her f-father apologized... in a way. Now she's just keeping him company. But his mind is still occupied with work. I don't think Lilly's days are as carefree as ours."
"It'd be weird if they already were. Still, this is Lilly we're talking about. There are very few situations she can't handle."
"I agree..."
My voice trails off as I feel his foot brush against mine once more. I'm starting to get the impression that this didn't happen on accident.
"Still, I think her dad's lucky to have her by his side all day long. I would have welcomed something like that."
"Yes, me t..."
I feel something touch my foot once again. Now I know he's doing this on purpose despite the innocent face he's putting on.
Should I return the favor?
"Is something wrong?"
Yes, I definitely should.
"N-No."
"Could I have a little bit more miso soup?"
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, it tastes very.."
His words are cut off when I move my foot forward and stroke his ankle with my big toe. It takes a lot of effort to suppress a wide grin, but I manage.
"Is s-something wrong?"
"Uh... No. Sorry, it tastes very good."
"I'm happy to hear that. Go ahead and have some more."
"Thanks."
I look on when my boyfriend refills his bowl, and just as he puts the first spoonful into his mouth, I tickle the calf of his right leg with the top of my left foot. I see him react a little, and I squeeze my jaws together in order to avoid laughing.
"Is it... too hot?"
"It's... fine. Perfect temperature."
This is actually pretty fun. I move in again to caress the top of his foot with my own, but this time he's expecting me and he quickly places his other foot on top of mine, causing me to pull back again.
"I... uh... used most of the ingredients in the cupboard and the fridge. We might need to do some shopping."
While I'm still waiting for an opportunity, I feel his foot caress the place just above my ankle. I try to catch his foot with my own, but he pulls back in time.
"Sure. We can do that later today."
Hisao finishes his second bowl of soup, and we get started on the main course.
"Hisao? Do you have any plans for today?"
I feel his foot stroking mine again. This time I manage to catch it with my other foot, but instead of withdrawing, he just continues stroking the top of my foot.
"Not really. We can take it as easy as we like."
And then he starts stroking my other foot with his other foot. I let out a giggle before I can stop myself.
"Did I say something funny?"
I quickly shake my head, but we both have a pretty large grin on our face.
"Let's start with some salmon and rice."
"I'll take some beans and rice."
We both get started on the rest of the food, and I find myself thinking that this could end with one or both of us choking on our breakfast if we make each other laugh while we have our mouths full.
"Hey Hanako, this is kind of nice, isn't it?"
Is he talking about having breakfast together or playing footsies? Or maybe the combination?
"...this?"
"You know... uh..."
I manage to distract him momentarily by using two of my toes to grab one of his.
"...just having breakfast with nobody else around. It kind of feels like us having our own little place."
He starts wiggling his toe in order to break free from my grasp without having to move his foot. I tighten my grasp a bit in order to prevent him from getting loose.
"It... does feel a little bit like that. I think it's kind of nice too."
I giggle as I suddenly feel one of the toes on my other foot being squeezed. Looks like Hisao duplicated my little maneuver, and now we're engaged in this some kind of double tug-of-war.
"I wonder what our lives will be like in a few years."
It isn't even certain we'll still be together by that time. Though I really hope we will.
"It's... probably a little... early for long-term plans."
"Yeah, there are still lots of things to do in the meantime. We both need to figure out a career path for ourselves. We'll have our grades to keep up. There'll be the National Center Test for University Admissions to worry about in January and probably some additional entrance exams afterwards too. Then we'd have to finish university and apply for a job. We'll still have years ahead of us and lots of tough choices to make."
"Yes."
In the silence that follows, we both manage to wiggle free from the other's toe grip. I wait for Hisao to resume our little play-fight under the table, but that doesn't happen.
"Hey, Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Disregarding the specifics, how do you see yourself in a decade or so? Do you see yourself... you know… married and with kids someday?"
I know it's physically impossible, but I nevertheless feel like every drop of blood in my body is instantly rushing to my head.
"Y-Yours?"
"Heh, that's why I said to disregard the specifics. I was just curious, because... uh..."
Because I don't have a family of my own, and the only way to change that would be to start one myself.
It hurts a little to hear Hisao bring it up.
Still, it's not an unfair question.
"For a long t-time... I didn't think it was p-possible to begin with. Recently, I've regained a bit of hope. If... If possible, I'd l-like to b-be married someday and... if I c-can take it... b-be a m-mother too."
"What do you mean with 'can take it'?"
I give Hisao a sad smile and pat my belly.
"I have scars on part of my belly too. Scar tissue... doesn't stretch well. M-Maybe the doctors would advise against it. Or maybe it's possible, but very, very painful without surgery. I'm... n-not really sure."
"I suggest not worrying about that too much for now. At least not without consulting an expert first. It might not be a problem, and medical science still advances every year. Personally, I think you'd make a great mommy."
"W-What?"
He snickers at my baffled expression.
"Hey, no need with the look. I'm totally serious."
"R-Really?"
He nods, smiles sweetly, and I feel how his foot reaches out and starts stroking the back of my leg.
"I mean, you did help the orphanage staff out with taking care of the younger children, didn't you? And you're very sweet and loving whenever you're at ease. You'll be a great mother someday."
That's one of the sweetest things he's ever said to me, and I'm completely at a loss on what to say back. So in the end, I don't say anything back at all. Instead, I merely seek out his leg with the sole of my foot and start stroking it.
We stay like this for a long time with both of us content to just continue our little footsie game without the need to say anything, and I'm wearing a pretty large smile throughout the entire thing.
I eventually decide that I want more than just a cuddling session in which only our feet are involved, so I get up just a little, lean forward across the table, close my eyes and pucker my lips. A second later, he's also leaning across the table, and his lips lock with mine.
This is a rather awkward position since we're both trying to maintain our balance, and our lips are either pressing too tightly or too loosely against each other throughout the kiss. As a lead-in to something more, it's more than enough though, and when we separate and I see the longing in Hisao's eyes, I know that this is just the beginning. We get up completely, and Hisao walks around the table, takes me in his arms and kisses me a second time. I wrap my arms around his neck and playfully tickle the spot near his ankle with my toe while our tongues engage in a passionate embrace.
When we pause in order to catch our breath, Hisao grins a little awkwardly and looks deep into my eyes.
"Hanako?"
05
I give an affirmative nod. The question is obvious. The answer should no different.
"Okay."
"Here?"
I take a quick look around, but I can't see any places where we could comfortably do it, and I don't like the idea of doing it while I'm bending over the kitchen sink unit.
"Y-Your room..."
We can probably wait a few seconds longer.
I put my phone away, get off the couch and smile a bit to myself as I ponder these thoughts. I really hope she'll call again tomorrow.
In the meantime, I'm left trying to figure out what to do now. My books are still in my suitcase, and I don't want to risk waking up Hisao by walking into his room and retrieving them. I could watch television, but I don't really feel like doing that right now. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head, and I smile.
I could surprise Hisao by making breakfast for the two of us. His parents did say we could use whatever ingredients were in the fridge and cupboard. I quickly check both and see that there's enough in there for a decent meal.
I put on the apron hanging on a hook near the fridge, open the cupboard and start collecting the ingredients for the meal I have in mind.
--------------------------------------
04
As my breakfast preparation approaches its end, I find myself cheerfully humming a song I've had in my head for the last 15 minutes. This part is rather hectic. I'm still in the process of grilling the fillets of salmon, but I've also kept my soup on the stove to keep it hot, and I've once read that miso soup shouldn't be allowed to boil once the miso paste has been added. Still, despite having to carefully watch what I'm doing, my mood couldn't be better.
As I turn to put a bottle of soy sauce back in the cupboard, I see someone's reflection in the window from the corner of my eye, and when I turn around, I suddenly become aware of my boyfriend, still in his boxers and shirt, standing near the door. The surprise startles me enough to make me drop the bottle I was holding. Fortunately it's a plastic bottle so it doesn't break. While I'm struggling to think of how to react, Hisao quickly walks up to me, takes the bottle off the floor and puts it in its designated place.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's o-okay. Ah... f-for how long have you been standing here already?"
Instead of answering, Hisao simply looks past me, and when I turn around I notice that steam is already rising from my soup. I hurriedly turn down the heat. I'm annoyed by how easily I can get distracted by things that would be so minor to others. Hisao appears to read my thoughts and briefly places a hand on my shoulder.
"I could help if you like, but if you want to do this yourself I'll just go back to my room and take my batch of medication."
"I'll... be done in less than ten minutes."
"Okay."
I breathe a sigh of relief as he walks out of the room. I'm a bit bummed that the surprise is now gone, but I appreciate the fact that he offered to let me be for a little while. Him looking over my shoulder would probably make me nervous to the point where I'd start messing things up in my attempts to avoid messing things up. It's really nice that Hisao seems to start intuitively sensing these kinds of things about me.
With my nerves calmed a bit I manage to focus my attention back on my nearly-finished breakfast. Fortunately there are no further interruptions and five minutes later a full-fledged Japanese breakfast graces the nearby kitchen table. As I finish shuffling things around a bit in an attempt to make the whole thing look as good as possible, the sound of the door opening alerts me to the fact that my boyfriend has made his extremely well-timed return, making me wonder for a second if he hasn't been secretly standing behind the door the entire time.
He briefly looks over the nicely laid table and then looks back at me with a smile.
"Good morning."
The loving way he says it makes it impossible for me to resist smiling back at him.
"G-Good morning, d-dear. D-Did you s-sleep well?"
He frowns for a moment at my reply before his smile returns, him probably having decided to play along.
"Quite well. Thank you dear."
He looks over the table a second time.
"Ummm... I made miso soup with tofu and seaweed, steamed rice, grilled s-salmon and fermented soy beans with soy sauce."
"It looks delicious. I can't wait to taste it."
"Shall we?"
I take off my apron, hang it back in its previous place, share a quick good morning kiss with my boyfriend and then sit at the table across from him. I hold my breath and give him an expectant look as he takes his first sip of my miso soup. When he sends an approving nod my way, I let out a relieved sigh and start eating my own portion.
"Tastes good."
"Thanks."
We finish the soup and move on to the fish, rice and beans.
"Hisao?"
"Yes?"
"So ummm... for how long were you... in here before I n-noticed you?"
"Oh that? For a few minutes, I think."
"A few minutes?"
Now I wonder what exactly he was staring at. He smiles a bit awkwardly.
"It was quite the pleasant sight, and I was afraid you'd get jumpy if you knew I was there."
"What w-was a pleasant sight? M-Me in... an apron?"
He chuckles.
"That too."
He stops to think for a moment, and I wonder if he's thinking something dirty, but before I can come up with a remark, he continues.
"But I was just speaking in general. The sight of you being in a good mood, humming and doing something you obviously seemed to enjoy was... kind of cute."
My heart skips a beat when I feel his foot brush lightly against mine. It takes me a second before I can react.
"Uh... T-thanks."
"Given your mood, I take it you've slept pretty well?"
"That too. But Lilly called me this morning, and we talked for a bit."
"Lilly called? How is she?"
"She's... holding up. I think her f-father apologized... in a way. Now she's just keeping him company. But his mind is still occupied with work. I don't think Lilly's days are as carefree as ours."
"It'd be weird if they already were. Still, this is Lilly we're talking about. There are very few situations she can't handle."
"I agree..."
My voice trails off as I feel his foot brush against mine once more. I'm starting to get the impression that this didn't happen on accident.
"Still, I think her dad's lucky to have her by his side all day long. I would have welcomed something like that."
"Yes, me t..."
I feel something touch my foot once again. Now I know he's doing this on purpose despite the innocent face he's putting on.
Should I return the favor?
"Is something wrong?"
Yes, I definitely should.
"N-No."
"Could I have a little bit more miso soup?"
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, it tastes very.."
His words are cut off when I move my foot forward and stroke his ankle with my big toe. It takes a lot of effort to suppress a wide grin, but I manage.
"Is s-something wrong?"
"Uh... No. Sorry, it tastes very good."
"I'm happy to hear that. Go ahead and have some more."
"Thanks."
I look on when my boyfriend refills his bowl, and just as he puts the first spoonful into his mouth, I tickle the calf of his right leg with the top of my left foot. I see him react a little, and I squeeze my jaws together in order to avoid laughing.
"Is it... too hot?"
"It's... fine. Perfect temperature."
This is actually pretty fun. I move in again to caress the top of his foot with my own, but this time he's expecting me and he quickly places his other foot on top of mine, causing me to pull back again.
"I... uh... used most of the ingredients in the cupboard and the fridge. We might need to do some shopping."
While I'm still waiting for an opportunity, I feel his foot caress the place just above my ankle. I try to catch his foot with my own, but he pulls back in time.
"Sure. We can do that later today."
Hisao finishes his second bowl of soup, and we get started on the main course.
"Hisao? Do you have any plans for today?"
I feel his foot stroking mine again. This time I manage to catch it with my other foot, but instead of withdrawing, he just continues stroking the top of my foot.
"Not really. We can take it as easy as we like."
And then he starts stroking my other foot with his other foot. I let out a giggle before I can stop myself.
"Did I say something funny?"
I quickly shake my head, but we both have a pretty large grin on our face.
"Let's start with some salmon and rice."
"I'll take some beans and rice."
We both get started on the rest of the food, and I find myself thinking that this could end with one or both of us choking on our breakfast if we make each other laugh while we have our mouths full.
"Hey Hanako, this is kind of nice, isn't it?"
Is he talking about having breakfast together or playing footsies? Or maybe the combination?
"...this?"
"You know... uh..."
I manage to distract him momentarily by using two of my toes to grab one of his.
"...just having breakfast with nobody else around. It kind of feels like us having our own little place."
He starts wiggling his toe in order to break free from my grasp without having to move his foot. I tighten my grasp a bit in order to prevent him from getting loose.
"It... does feel a little bit like that. I think it's kind of nice too."
I giggle as I suddenly feel one of the toes on my other foot being squeezed. Looks like Hisao duplicated my little maneuver, and now we're engaged in this some kind of double tug-of-war.
"I wonder what our lives will be like in a few years."
It isn't even certain we'll still be together by that time. Though I really hope we will.
"It's... probably a little... early for long-term plans."
"Yeah, there are still lots of things to do in the meantime. We both need to figure out a career path for ourselves. We'll have our grades to keep up. There'll be the National Center Test for University Admissions to worry about in January and probably some additional entrance exams afterwards too. Then we'd have to finish university and apply for a job. We'll still have years ahead of us and lots of tough choices to make."
"Yes."
In the silence that follows, we both manage to wiggle free from the other's toe grip. I wait for Hisao to resume our little play-fight under the table, but that doesn't happen.
"Hey, Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Disregarding the specifics, how do you see yourself in a decade or so? Do you see yourself... you know… married and with kids someday?"
I know it's physically impossible, but I nevertheless feel like every drop of blood in my body is instantly rushing to my head.
"Y-Yours?"
"Heh, that's why I said to disregard the specifics. I was just curious, because... uh..."
Because I don't have a family of my own, and the only way to change that would be to start one myself.
It hurts a little to hear Hisao bring it up.
Still, it's not an unfair question.
"For a long t-time... I didn't think it was p-possible to begin with. Recently, I've regained a bit of hope. If... If possible, I'd l-like to b-be married someday and... if I c-can take it... b-be a m-mother too."
"What do you mean with 'can take it'?"
I give Hisao a sad smile and pat my belly.
"I have scars on part of my belly too. Scar tissue... doesn't stretch well. M-Maybe the doctors would advise against it. Or maybe it's possible, but very, very painful without surgery. I'm... n-not really sure."
"I suggest not worrying about that too much for now. At least not without consulting an expert first. It might not be a problem, and medical science still advances every year. Personally, I think you'd make a great mommy."
"W-What?"
He snickers at my baffled expression.
"Hey, no need with the look. I'm totally serious."
"R-Really?"
He nods, smiles sweetly, and I feel how his foot reaches out and starts stroking the back of my leg.
"I mean, you did help the orphanage staff out with taking care of the younger children, didn't you? And you're very sweet and loving whenever you're at ease. You'll be a great mother someday."
That's one of the sweetest things he's ever said to me, and I'm completely at a loss on what to say back. So in the end, I don't say anything back at all. Instead, I merely seek out his leg with the sole of my foot and start stroking it.
We stay like this for a long time with both of us content to just continue our little footsie game without the need to say anything, and I'm wearing a pretty large smile throughout the entire thing.
I eventually decide that I want more than just a cuddling session in which only our feet are involved, so I get up just a little, lean forward across the table, close my eyes and pucker my lips. A second later, he's also leaning across the table, and his lips lock with mine.
This is a rather awkward position since we're both trying to maintain our balance, and our lips are either pressing too tightly or too loosely against each other throughout the kiss. As a lead-in to something more, it's more than enough though, and when we separate and I see the longing in Hisao's eyes, I know that this is just the beginning. We get up completely, and Hisao walks around the table, takes me in his arms and kisses me a second time. I wrap my arms around his neck and playfully tickle the spot near his ankle with my toe while our tongues engage in a passionate embrace.
When we pause in order to catch our breath, Hisao grins a little awkwardly and looks deep into my eyes.
"Hanako?"
05
I give an affirmative nod. The question is obvious. The answer should no different.
"Okay."
"Here?"
I take a quick look around, but I can't see any places where we could comfortably do it, and I don't like the idea of doing it while I'm bending over the kitchen sink unit.
"Y-Your room..."
We can probably wait a few seconds longer.
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 35 - cont.
Hisao takes my hand, and we hurriedly make our way to his bedroom. Just when Hisao closes the door behind us, I decide I've waited long enough and press my lips against his again. I close my eyes and allow myself to get lost in the sensation of our kiss. With some amusement, I notice that his kiss has the slight flavor of soy sauce, and I wonder if I taste the same to him.
Without breaking our kiss, we edge closer and closer to the bed. I tingle with anticipation. How many more steps? Ten? Five?
"Whoa!"
"Eeek!"
Our shuffle towards the bed is unexpectedly interrupted when we accidentally bump into the office chair standing near Hisao's desk and it's only through sheer luck that we're able to remain standing though we have to quickly let go of each other in order to avoid landing on the floor.
"Sorry."
"S-Sorry."
We look at each other with a sheepish grin. We didn't land on our face, but the mood we were in just seconds ago was nevertheless shattered.
"I'll try to avoid the chair the next time. Either that or we'll have to keep our eyes open in the future."
"Y-Yes."
We give each other a 'now what'-look.
"So... Shall we continue?"
"Uh... Yes."
Undressing suddenly feels a lot more awkward with the mood having gone up in smoke.
Stupid chair!
"Maybe we should take our time to get back into the mood?"
"Okay."
Hisao takes a look at the bed, then at the chair and then at the bed again before pulling the office chair towards him, sitting down on it and giving me an inviting nod.
"Here?"
"This chair kind of owes us something, don't you think?"
I giggle. At least the mood already seems a little less awkward. I walk up to Hisao and pull up my nightgown to just above my waist, trying to ignore the stare aimed at my panties. I put my feet on both sides of the chair, which is fortunately lacking armrests, and then straddle his lap.
I can hear his breath pick up briefly when I shift a bit in an attempt to get comfortable, but he doesn't say anything. He merely looks up at me with an expectant look in his eyes.
"Hisao... What do you want me to do?"
"Whatever you want, Hanako. You'll need to take the active role this time."
"The... active... role?"
"I'm all yours."
Me, the active role?
That's not exactly common unless we're engaged in something that involves taking turns.
I guess I could give it a try.
I gently use a finger to tuck his chin up, lower my head and press my lips against his, softly nibbling on his upper lip at first, then letting my tongue slip into his mouth. I tickle his chin with one hand while lovingly rubbing his hair with the other.
He brings his hands up to my face, caressing both sides of it before moving on to my hair and then edging down my sides until they're resting on my upper legs.
The awkwardness of a few minutes ago is all but forgotten now, and I've reached the point where mere kissing and light petting just isn't sufficient anymore. Wiggling my bottom a bit in order to get the best angle possible, I start moving my hips.
Hisao lets out a pleased sigh at the sensation and then spreads his legs, causing me to slide down a bit. I blush as I feel something hard press against me. Looks like someone is eager to continue.
I place my hands on his shoulders in order to get a bit more leverage and continue grinding against him. In less than a minute, the place where his boxers are rubbing against my panties goes from feeling good to feeling great, and when one of his wandering hands softly fondles my right breast, I let out a moan before I can stop myself.
Hisao snickers and gives me a playful look.
"Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"What we're doing right now. It... kind of feels familiar, doesn't it?"
What is he talking... Oh!
I cringe a bit and feel my cheeks start to burn. Why did he have to bring up that incident at a time like this? Deciding to change the subject as quickly as I can, I brightly smile at him and firmly shake my head. Then, when he opens his mouth to say something, I passionately kiss him to get the hint across.
Apparently it's very effective, because when our lips finally part, he shows no desire to bring up that particular subject again. Instead, he merely raises his arms, aching to continue, and I eagerly take the opportunity to take his shirt off.
Having to take the 'active role', as Hisao called it, is really nice as it's allowing me to rub myself against him at the best possible angle and speed and just moving around on his lap feels really good to me, but it's also pretty tiring, and I feel a drop of sweat running down my forehead.
Not wanting to continue until my nightgown's drenched, I also raise my arms and allow Hisao to take it off for me. I avert my eyes for a moment as his gaze sweeps over my body, stopping on my breasts for several seconds. Then I move again.
And again.
And again, making sure to press a little firmer this time.
In an attempt to assist me, Hisao places one hand on my lower back and presses me tighter against him. Meanwhile, his other hand goes back and forth between caressing my side, breasts and neckline.
"Hhhhhhhhh.... Hhhhmmm."
"Hhhh... ah... Hhhh."
Between our ragged breathing, we start letting out little sighs of pleasure, arousing each other further. I can see a tension building on his face. He's probably close to his limit. I should probably get off his lap so we can take off our underwear and finish this properly. But at the same time, this rubbing feels so wonderful that I can't bring myself to stop. Even halting for a moment to pull my panties aside feels like a waste. Maybe I should just keep going until we finish. We're already in need of a change of underwear anyhow.
"H-Hanako... I..."
He's almost there. Only a little while longer.
"H-Hanko... S-stop... Stop."
With some reluctance, I let go of him and get off his lap. Hisao immediately pulls his boxers down, takes the tip of his member between his thumb and index finger and squeezes firmly. After a second or two he lets out a relieved sigh.
"Whew. That was close. Nearly... soiled... my boxers there. Could you give me a minute or two to cool down?"
"..."
Two minutes sounds like an eternity. I give a relucant nod, but at the same time start anxiously rubbing my thighs together. I don't really want to cool down myself.
Hisao seems to notice my fidgetting and smiles.
"I can still make you feel good in the meantime. I could... you know..."
He shoots a knowing look at the dark spot on my panties and then gently kisses my belly button.
"T-That...?"
"Why not? You liked it before."
"I... uh... h-haven't bathed or showered this morning and... it's really b-bright in this room."
He chuckles at my worried expression.
"That first part really isn't a problem for me, and if you like, I'll just close my eyes."
"...o-okay..."
That last word was nearly a whisper, but Hisao nevertheless heard it as he takes off his boxers, kneels on the floor in front of me, gives one more kiss on my belly button and then closes his eyes.
Feeling a little awkward still, I take off my panties, take a careful step forward and gently press myself against Hisao.
I feel his hands on my thighs and what follows is a sensation so intense I let out a high-pitched squeal.
"G-G-Gently!"
That grinding session must have left me more sensitive than I thought."
"Sorry. Is this better?"
I let out a content sigh.
"Y-Yes..."
The intense stimulation changes to a more gentle lapping, and I let out a content sigh, trying my best to push the usual sense of embarrasment out of my mind. As he promised, Hisao's keeping his eyes shut, and I close my own as well in an attempt to block out everything around me and just let myself get carried away by his sensation.
It's really quiet around me, the only sounds I hear being the soft suckling noises from Hisao, my heavy breathing and the occasional moan. Letting him pleasure me like this is different from before. I can still run my fingers through his hair like usual, but I can also move my hips a little more this time, pulling away or pressing myself against him depending on what feels best.
It's starting to get tough to remain standing though. Maybe it's because of my extended physical involvement this time, but my legs are getting wobblier the longer he continues.
"Hhhhhhh..."
Suddenly, he starts speeding up and the pleasure nearly causes my legs to give out. I manage to remain standing only by putting my hand on his desk to support myself. Almost immediately, the intense sensation stops, and I feel his arms around me, holding me up.
"Hanako, you okay?"
I'm still panting heavily, but nevertheless nod my head.
"Y-Yes..."
"You don't want to rest for a bit?"
I shake my head and then unexpectedly kiss him. He reels in surprise, but then returns it. He tastes a little different this time, but nothing too bad.
"Hisao... Do you want me t-to... return the favor?"
"Uh... Next time, okay?"
"Okay."
He takes a towel from a nearby shelf, puts it on the chair's seat and then sits down, inviting me to sit on his lap again. My legs still a little unsteady from before, I walk up to him, position myself above him and place one hand firmly on his shoulder to stabilize myself. I take hold of his member with my other hand and slowly start lowering myself. It's tougher than I thought. As I start squatting down, my legs immediately start shaking, and I'm forced to brace myself against his shoulder in order to keep steady.
"Uh... Hanako..."
My gaze shifts from our loins to Hisao's face and I can see a slightly scared expression on his face.
"Be very careful, okay? If you aim wrong, you might just... snap... something important, and I don't think I can handle a few weeks of having to hobble around the school with a problem in my pants."
06
"Pfffffffffff! Hahahahahahahaha!"
Before I can help it, an image appears in my head of an extremely sad-looking Hisao with his willie in an orthopedic cast similar to the one Jun from the newspaper club has been wearing, and this image is so utterly bizarre that I burst out laughing, and I have to stand up straight in order to avoid dropping down on his lap for real.
Hisao for his part is merely looking at me with a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. He obviously finds the sight of my laughing fit funnier than the thought that caused it.
Eventually though, he rolls his eyes and softly clears his throat. Looks like he's eager to continue.
"Hanako? Shall we...? I can give you a hand if you like."
I giggle, but nevertheless nod in agreement.
"T-Thanks."
I take hold of him again, and this time he puts his hands on the back of my upper legs, gently lowering me onto him. I manage to guide his tip inside me and then allow myself to slide down until he's all the way inside. We both exhale sharply as we become one, and I fidget a bit in an attempt to get comfortable. When I'm reasonably sure I have the right angle, I start gyrating my hips, still giggling a little bit.
"Hmmmm..."
The friction is really pretty good even though moving is a bit tiring. His hands have found my breasts again and are stroking and kneading them. No longer needing to hold onto his shoulders so much, I take his face in my hand and kiss him again, muffling the moans we can't suppress.
"Hanako... Can you... move up and down a little?"
"Y-Yes..."
I try to alternate the gyrating movement of my hips with moving up a little, taking care not to let him slip out. It still feels really good, though my legs start shaking again.
"H-Hisao... C-can you help me...move?"
"Yeah..."
He puts his hands under my butt, playfully squeezing it a bit and helps me gently bounce up and down. I hear an embarrassing noise coming from the place where we're joined each time he sinks back into me, but I'm too far into the whole experience to care anymore.
"... Mmh!... C-closer."
"... Hah... G-got it."
He pulls me closer, increasing the friction between our bodies and intensifying my pleasure even more. We soon figure out a rhythm and start increasing the speed of our movements. This is probably tiring for both of us, but since we're sharing the workload we'll probably be able to keep this up until the end. I let out a cry followed by a giggle as he leans forward and licks my nipples before putting his head between my breasts and kissing the spot between them. I press his head further against my chest, eager for more pleasure.
"Hmmmm. H-Hanako. Hhhh..."
"Ah! Hmmm. H-Hisao. Nnnnng. Hmmm..."
Our panting and gasps barely leave us breath to moan each other's name. I can feel my limit approaching and speed up my movements as much as my body allows. Judging from his closed eyes and ragged breath, Hisao's even farther along than I am. I lift his chin up and kiss him once more. He seems almost too immersed in our love making to notice, and just as our lips part I can see a grimace appearing on his face. He squeezes my buttocks even harder than before and starts bouncing me up and down even faster.
"Hanako!"
And then he tenses up, grips me tightly and his body jolts several times in sheer pleasure. I stop my up-and-down movementand focus on my gyrations. My hips seem to have gotten a life of their own and are grinding against him as hard as they can. I close my eyes and block out everything to focus on that feeling, that intense feeling of pleasure that's slowly completely overwhelming me. I picture Hisao's face in my mind. The one I saw just seconds ago. The bliss written on it. The pleasure that I gave him. His gasps and moans. The way he called my name. That image is enough to push me past my limit.
"Hisao!"
I feel a discharge of pleasure between my legs, and my upper body surges forward in the grip of my climax. I throw my head back and let out a cry of ecstasy as my body shudders and quakes. After the last few aftershocks have disappeared I wearily open my eyes and look at my boyfriend.
07
His eyes are half-closed. His breathing still fast, but steady. He exchanges his usual 'I'm alright'-smile with me, wraps his arms around my waist and then leans his head against my chest. As I shift a bit in order to get more comfortable, I feel him slipping out of me. We could probably both use a shower right now. My back, sides and forehead are drenched in sweat, and I feel something that probably isn't perspiration running down the inside of my thighs. Good thing Hisao put a towel on the seat.
As wonderful as this experience was, it was also really exhausting, and while we probably ought to get up and clean ourselves, I don't really feel motivated to hurry and get off his lap, not just because my legs and thighs still feel tired and I feel a bit drowsy, but also because it feels really good being so close to him. I let my chin rest on his head and tenderly ruffle his hair. He responds by gently stroking my back and shoulders. For several minutes, neither of us says anything. Both of us are content basking in the afterglow of our experience and exchanging these little acts of affection. I love the warmth of his body and the sweetness of his touch. Eventually, I lean back a little so Hisao can lift his head and we look each other in the eyes. I let my forehead rest against his, and we tenderly caress each other's cheek. After one more kiss, Hisao finally speaks.
"Did you... enjoy it?"
I smile and nod my head.
"Yeah, me too. It was pretty enjoyable to switch places for once. Maybe you can take the lead more often?"
"It was pretty tiring in the end."
"Maybe we can do it on the bed next time and see if it's less taxing on you."
"O-Okay."
"So... Wanna take a shower together?"
A nice warm shower to wash the sweat off does sound very tempting. Now that my body's cooling down from our lovemaking session, I'm starting to feel a bit chilly.
"Y-Yes."
I get off his lap, Hisao takes some tissues from his desk drawer that we use to clean ourselves and then he takes my hand and leads me to the shower in the bathroom where we wash ourselves and engage in some additional post-coital cuddling. It's such a nice experience that part of me wouldn't mind doing this all day long. That's not realistic though, and eventually Hisao turns off the water though he doesn't let go of me yet. He has a cheeky smile on his face.
"You know, there's no running track in our backyard and this might be good morning exercise. I wouldn't at all mind if every morning of our stay turns out just like this."
I wouldn't either, though I don't tell him that.
"Emi likes to say that a good workout still beats sex, but I think she simply doesn't know what she's talking about. Either that or she's had nothing but lousy experiences."
We both laugh at that.
"Hey Hanako, now that I think about it again... What was that song you were humming while you were preparing breakfast?"
"I... don't really remember the title. It was just in my head at the moment."
"Heh, you know, it was a little disappointing that you weren't singing while we were taking a shower. Quite a few people sing under the shower."
"I don't... usually."
"You sounded really nice this morning though."
"N-Not r-really..."
He snickers at my embarrassed reaction. I can see him thinking to himself. After a while, his eyes suddenly light up. He lets go of me, takes a towel and starts drying me off. All the while, there's a grin on his face.
"W-What is it?"
"I'll tell you later. Let's get dressed first."
"W-Why are you smiling like that?"
"I think I just thought of a suitable destination for our first date here."
Without breaking our kiss, we edge closer and closer to the bed. I tingle with anticipation. How many more steps? Ten? Five?
"Whoa!"
"Eeek!"
Our shuffle towards the bed is unexpectedly interrupted when we accidentally bump into the office chair standing near Hisao's desk and it's only through sheer luck that we're able to remain standing though we have to quickly let go of each other in order to avoid landing on the floor.
"Sorry."
"S-Sorry."
We look at each other with a sheepish grin. We didn't land on our face, but the mood we were in just seconds ago was nevertheless shattered.
"I'll try to avoid the chair the next time. Either that or we'll have to keep our eyes open in the future."
"Y-Yes."
We give each other a 'now what'-look.
"So... Shall we continue?"
"Uh... Yes."
Undressing suddenly feels a lot more awkward with the mood having gone up in smoke.
Stupid chair!
"Maybe we should take our time to get back into the mood?"
"Okay."
Hisao takes a look at the bed, then at the chair and then at the bed again before pulling the office chair towards him, sitting down on it and giving me an inviting nod.
"Here?"
"This chair kind of owes us something, don't you think?"
I giggle. At least the mood already seems a little less awkward. I walk up to Hisao and pull up my nightgown to just above my waist, trying to ignore the stare aimed at my panties. I put my feet on both sides of the chair, which is fortunately lacking armrests, and then straddle his lap.
I can hear his breath pick up briefly when I shift a bit in an attempt to get comfortable, but he doesn't say anything. He merely looks up at me with an expectant look in his eyes.
"Hisao... What do you want me to do?"
"Whatever you want, Hanako. You'll need to take the active role this time."
"The... active... role?"
"I'm all yours."
Me, the active role?
That's not exactly common unless we're engaged in something that involves taking turns.
I guess I could give it a try.
I gently use a finger to tuck his chin up, lower my head and press my lips against his, softly nibbling on his upper lip at first, then letting my tongue slip into his mouth. I tickle his chin with one hand while lovingly rubbing his hair with the other.
He brings his hands up to my face, caressing both sides of it before moving on to my hair and then edging down my sides until they're resting on my upper legs.
The awkwardness of a few minutes ago is all but forgotten now, and I've reached the point where mere kissing and light petting just isn't sufficient anymore. Wiggling my bottom a bit in order to get the best angle possible, I start moving my hips.
Hisao lets out a pleased sigh at the sensation and then spreads his legs, causing me to slide down a bit. I blush as I feel something hard press against me. Looks like someone is eager to continue.
I place my hands on his shoulders in order to get a bit more leverage and continue grinding against him. In less than a minute, the place where his boxers are rubbing against my panties goes from feeling good to feeling great, and when one of his wandering hands softly fondles my right breast, I let out a moan before I can stop myself.
Hisao snickers and gives me a playful look.
"Hanako?"
"Yes?"
"What we're doing right now. It... kind of feels familiar, doesn't it?"
What is he talking... Oh!
I cringe a bit and feel my cheeks start to burn. Why did he have to bring up that incident at a time like this? Deciding to change the subject as quickly as I can, I brightly smile at him and firmly shake my head. Then, when he opens his mouth to say something, I passionately kiss him to get the hint across.
Apparently it's very effective, because when our lips finally part, he shows no desire to bring up that particular subject again. Instead, he merely raises his arms, aching to continue, and I eagerly take the opportunity to take his shirt off.
Having to take the 'active role', as Hisao called it, is really nice as it's allowing me to rub myself against him at the best possible angle and speed and just moving around on his lap feels really good to me, but it's also pretty tiring, and I feel a drop of sweat running down my forehead.
Not wanting to continue until my nightgown's drenched, I also raise my arms and allow Hisao to take it off for me. I avert my eyes for a moment as his gaze sweeps over my body, stopping on my breasts for several seconds. Then I move again.
And again.
And again, making sure to press a little firmer this time.
In an attempt to assist me, Hisao places one hand on my lower back and presses me tighter against him. Meanwhile, his other hand goes back and forth between caressing my side, breasts and neckline.
"Hhhhhhhhh.... Hhhhmmm."
"Hhhh... ah... Hhhh."
Between our ragged breathing, we start letting out little sighs of pleasure, arousing each other further. I can see a tension building on his face. He's probably close to his limit. I should probably get off his lap so we can take off our underwear and finish this properly. But at the same time, this rubbing feels so wonderful that I can't bring myself to stop. Even halting for a moment to pull my panties aside feels like a waste. Maybe I should just keep going until we finish. We're already in need of a change of underwear anyhow.
"H-Hanako... I..."
He's almost there. Only a little while longer.
"H-Hanko... S-stop... Stop."
With some reluctance, I let go of him and get off his lap. Hisao immediately pulls his boxers down, takes the tip of his member between his thumb and index finger and squeezes firmly. After a second or two he lets out a relieved sigh.
"Whew. That was close. Nearly... soiled... my boxers there. Could you give me a minute or two to cool down?"
"..."
Two minutes sounds like an eternity. I give a relucant nod, but at the same time start anxiously rubbing my thighs together. I don't really want to cool down myself.
Hisao seems to notice my fidgetting and smiles.
"I can still make you feel good in the meantime. I could... you know..."
He shoots a knowing look at the dark spot on my panties and then gently kisses my belly button.
"T-That...?"
"Why not? You liked it before."
"I... uh... h-haven't bathed or showered this morning and... it's really b-bright in this room."
He chuckles at my worried expression.
"That first part really isn't a problem for me, and if you like, I'll just close my eyes."
"...o-okay..."
That last word was nearly a whisper, but Hisao nevertheless heard it as he takes off his boxers, kneels on the floor in front of me, gives one more kiss on my belly button and then closes his eyes.
Feeling a little awkward still, I take off my panties, take a careful step forward and gently press myself against Hisao.
I feel his hands on my thighs and what follows is a sensation so intense I let out a high-pitched squeal.
"G-G-Gently!"
That grinding session must have left me more sensitive than I thought."
"Sorry. Is this better?"
I let out a content sigh.
"Y-Yes..."
The intense stimulation changes to a more gentle lapping, and I let out a content sigh, trying my best to push the usual sense of embarrasment out of my mind. As he promised, Hisao's keeping his eyes shut, and I close my own as well in an attempt to block out everything around me and just let myself get carried away by his sensation.
It's really quiet around me, the only sounds I hear being the soft suckling noises from Hisao, my heavy breathing and the occasional moan. Letting him pleasure me like this is different from before. I can still run my fingers through his hair like usual, but I can also move my hips a little more this time, pulling away or pressing myself against him depending on what feels best.
It's starting to get tough to remain standing though. Maybe it's because of my extended physical involvement this time, but my legs are getting wobblier the longer he continues.
"Hhhhhhh..."
Suddenly, he starts speeding up and the pleasure nearly causes my legs to give out. I manage to remain standing only by putting my hand on his desk to support myself. Almost immediately, the intense sensation stops, and I feel his arms around me, holding me up.
"Hanako, you okay?"
I'm still panting heavily, but nevertheless nod my head.
"Y-Yes..."
"You don't want to rest for a bit?"
I shake my head and then unexpectedly kiss him. He reels in surprise, but then returns it. He tastes a little different this time, but nothing too bad.
"Hisao... Do you want me t-to... return the favor?"
"Uh... Next time, okay?"
"Okay."
He takes a towel from a nearby shelf, puts it on the chair's seat and then sits down, inviting me to sit on his lap again. My legs still a little unsteady from before, I walk up to him, position myself above him and place one hand firmly on his shoulder to stabilize myself. I take hold of his member with my other hand and slowly start lowering myself. It's tougher than I thought. As I start squatting down, my legs immediately start shaking, and I'm forced to brace myself against his shoulder in order to keep steady.
"Uh... Hanako..."
My gaze shifts from our loins to Hisao's face and I can see a slightly scared expression on his face.
"Be very careful, okay? If you aim wrong, you might just... snap... something important, and I don't think I can handle a few weeks of having to hobble around the school with a problem in my pants."
06
"Pfffffffffff! Hahahahahahahaha!"
Before I can help it, an image appears in my head of an extremely sad-looking Hisao with his willie in an orthopedic cast similar to the one Jun from the newspaper club has been wearing, and this image is so utterly bizarre that I burst out laughing, and I have to stand up straight in order to avoid dropping down on his lap for real.
Hisao for his part is merely looking at me with a mixture of embarrassment and amusement. He obviously finds the sight of my laughing fit funnier than the thought that caused it.
Eventually though, he rolls his eyes and softly clears his throat. Looks like he's eager to continue.
"Hanako? Shall we...? I can give you a hand if you like."
I giggle, but nevertheless nod in agreement.
"T-Thanks."
I take hold of him again, and this time he puts his hands on the back of my upper legs, gently lowering me onto him. I manage to guide his tip inside me and then allow myself to slide down until he's all the way inside. We both exhale sharply as we become one, and I fidget a bit in an attempt to get comfortable. When I'm reasonably sure I have the right angle, I start gyrating my hips, still giggling a little bit.
"Hmmmm..."
The friction is really pretty good even though moving is a bit tiring. His hands have found my breasts again and are stroking and kneading them. No longer needing to hold onto his shoulders so much, I take his face in my hand and kiss him again, muffling the moans we can't suppress.
"Hanako... Can you... move up and down a little?"
"Y-Yes..."
I try to alternate the gyrating movement of my hips with moving up a little, taking care not to let him slip out. It still feels really good, though my legs start shaking again.
"H-Hisao... C-can you help me...move?"
"Yeah..."
He puts his hands under my butt, playfully squeezing it a bit and helps me gently bounce up and down. I hear an embarrassing noise coming from the place where we're joined each time he sinks back into me, but I'm too far into the whole experience to care anymore.
"... Mmh!... C-closer."
"... Hah... G-got it."
He pulls me closer, increasing the friction between our bodies and intensifying my pleasure even more. We soon figure out a rhythm and start increasing the speed of our movements. This is probably tiring for both of us, but since we're sharing the workload we'll probably be able to keep this up until the end. I let out a cry followed by a giggle as he leans forward and licks my nipples before putting his head between my breasts and kissing the spot between them. I press his head further against my chest, eager for more pleasure.
"Hmmmm. H-Hanako. Hhhh..."
"Ah! Hmmm. H-Hisao. Nnnnng. Hmmm..."
Our panting and gasps barely leave us breath to moan each other's name. I can feel my limit approaching and speed up my movements as much as my body allows. Judging from his closed eyes and ragged breath, Hisao's even farther along than I am. I lift his chin up and kiss him once more. He seems almost too immersed in our love making to notice, and just as our lips part I can see a grimace appearing on his face. He squeezes my buttocks even harder than before and starts bouncing me up and down even faster.
"Hanako!"
And then he tenses up, grips me tightly and his body jolts several times in sheer pleasure. I stop my up-and-down movementand focus on my gyrations. My hips seem to have gotten a life of their own and are grinding against him as hard as they can. I close my eyes and block out everything to focus on that feeling, that intense feeling of pleasure that's slowly completely overwhelming me. I picture Hisao's face in my mind. The one I saw just seconds ago. The bliss written on it. The pleasure that I gave him. His gasps and moans. The way he called my name. That image is enough to push me past my limit.
"Hisao!"
I feel a discharge of pleasure between my legs, and my upper body surges forward in the grip of my climax. I throw my head back and let out a cry of ecstasy as my body shudders and quakes. After the last few aftershocks have disappeared I wearily open my eyes and look at my boyfriend.
07
His eyes are half-closed. His breathing still fast, but steady. He exchanges his usual 'I'm alright'-smile with me, wraps his arms around my waist and then leans his head against my chest. As I shift a bit in order to get more comfortable, I feel him slipping out of me. We could probably both use a shower right now. My back, sides and forehead are drenched in sweat, and I feel something that probably isn't perspiration running down the inside of my thighs. Good thing Hisao put a towel on the seat.
As wonderful as this experience was, it was also really exhausting, and while we probably ought to get up and clean ourselves, I don't really feel motivated to hurry and get off his lap, not just because my legs and thighs still feel tired and I feel a bit drowsy, but also because it feels really good being so close to him. I let my chin rest on his head and tenderly ruffle his hair. He responds by gently stroking my back and shoulders. For several minutes, neither of us says anything. Both of us are content basking in the afterglow of our experience and exchanging these little acts of affection. I love the warmth of his body and the sweetness of his touch. Eventually, I lean back a little so Hisao can lift his head and we look each other in the eyes. I let my forehead rest against his, and we tenderly caress each other's cheek. After one more kiss, Hisao finally speaks.
"Did you... enjoy it?"
I smile and nod my head.
"Yeah, me too. It was pretty enjoyable to switch places for once. Maybe you can take the lead more often?"
"It was pretty tiring in the end."
"Maybe we can do it on the bed next time and see if it's less taxing on you."
"O-Okay."
"So... Wanna take a shower together?"
A nice warm shower to wash the sweat off does sound very tempting. Now that my body's cooling down from our lovemaking session, I'm starting to feel a bit chilly.
"Y-Yes."
I get off his lap, Hisao takes some tissues from his desk drawer that we use to clean ourselves and then he takes my hand and leads me to the shower in the bathroom where we wash ourselves and engage in some additional post-coital cuddling. It's such a nice experience that part of me wouldn't mind doing this all day long. That's not realistic though, and eventually Hisao turns off the water though he doesn't let go of me yet. He has a cheeky smile on his face.
"You know, there's no running track in our backyard and this might be good morning exercise. I wouldn't at all mind if every morning of our stay turns out just like this."
I wouldn't either, though I don't tell him that.
"Emi likes to say that a good workout still beats sex, but I think she simply doesn't know what she's talking about. Either that or she's had nothing but lousy experiences."
We both laugh at that.
"Hey Hanako, now that I think about it again... What was that song you were humming while you were preparing breakfast?"
"I... don't really remember the title. It was just in my head at the moment."
"Heh, you know, it was a little disappointing that you weren't singing while we were taking a shower. Quite a few people sing under the shower."
"I don't... usually."
"You sounded really nice this morning though."
"N-Not r-really..."
He snickers at my embarrassed reaction. I can see him thinking to himself. After a while, his eyes suddenly light up. He lets go of me, takes a towel and starts drying me off. All the while, there's a grin on his face.
"W-What is it?"
"I'll tell you later. Let's get dressed first."
"W-Why are you smiling like that?"
"I think I just thought of a suitable destination for our first date here."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:58 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 36
Chapter 36
01
"♪ Fill my heart with song ♫"
"♫ And let me sing forever more ♪"
"♪ You are all I long for ♪"
"♫ All I worship and adore ♫"
"♫ In other words, please be true ♪"
"♪ In other words, I love you ♫"
"♫ In other words, I love you ♪"
As I finish singing the latest song we picked for our karaoke session and make a humble bow, my one-man audience breaks into spontanous applause. I blush a bit, but am nevertheless very pleased by how appreciative Hisao seems to be about my singing, although his opinion is probably far from unbiased.
"That sounded really good, Hanako."
"T-Thanks."
I walk over to the table and take a few sips from the soft drinks we bought in order to prevent my throat from getting sore. In the meantime, Hisao is already eagerly browsing through the karaoke machine's music catalog.
"Would you be up for another one, Hanako?"
"Don't you want to try another song?"
"If you take this one too, I'll give you a kiss."
I playfully roll my eyes. While the initial idea was to take turns in singing songs, I ended up doing most of the singing while Hisao took the role of a doting audience that keeps asking for an encore. Still, I'm having a good time. The karaoke booth we got was among the smaller ones, but the atmosphere in here is relaxed and cozy.
"Hmmm... Okay. But I need a little break first."
"Sure."
I take a seat at the table, and Hisao sits down next to me and wraps an arm around me.
"I think we can safely declare this date a success."
"Hisao... Do you... like my singing voice that much?"
I admit I'm not exactly bad at singing, but I'm surprised how taken Hisao is by it.
"Yeah, I do. I guess it's because I've never seen this side of you before. Or rather 'heard this side of you' is a better way to word it. Your singing voice is kind of different from your speaking voice."
"It's not... that different, is it?"
"It's still recognizable as yours, but it's... less restrained. Since you usually speak rather softly, it's a pretty noticable contrast when you raise your voice like you do when you sing."
I suppose he has a point. In everyday life, I make an attempt to attract as little attention as possible, and never raising my voice is very much part of that.
"Out of curiosity; how are Akira's and Lilly's singing voices? I understood that Lilly's not overly fond of karaoke."
I smile.
"Akira's singing is okay - as long as she doesn't drink too much beer. But she's always really enjoying herself while singing karaoke, whether she sounds good or not. She's not too self-concious about how she sounds when she's with us."
"And Lilly?"
"I think she sounds fine. Maybe she's a bit perfectionistic about how she wants herself to sound. Part of the reason she doesn't enjoy karaoke more is because she can't read the lyrics off the screen and there aren't many songs that she has completely memorized."
"That kind of makes sense."
"She does enjoy hanging out with Akira and me and listening to us though."
"Maybe the four of us could go give it a shot the next time Akira is in Japan, assuming she doesn't visit in the middle of examination hell."
"That would be nice."
Hisao takes a chug of his own drink and then checks his watch.
"Man, time sure flies. Our hour is nearly up already. What do you say about extending our stay for another hour?"
"Sure."
Hisao takes out his wallet and gets some bills out. It's part of the sum we got from Lilly's mother before we boarded our plane back to Japan. He prepares to get up, but I stop him.
"Ummm... I c-could go and do that. I have to take a restroom break anyway."
"If you insist."
"Thanks."
"Take your time."
02
I put the money in my pocket and leave the booth, making my way over to the reception. From what I can tell, most of the booths are occupied right now. Summer break is obviously an excuse for many local students to take some time off from school work and relax for a spell. Fortunately, it's not particularly crowded at the reception desk. The only people aside from the employee behind the desk are two people about my age who seem to be a couple and who still appear to be involved in a discussion on how long to rent a booth. I carefully approach them, wondering if I should wait for them to make a decision or if I should ask them if I can quickly let the clerk extend my stay. Then I wonder if I'd even have the nerve to follow through on the second option.
As the two other customers notice me, the male looks at me and opens his mouth to say something, but then notices my scarring and stares for a moment without saying anything. The female, who until now was cheerfully chattering to her partner, gives me an awkward look. I shudder a bit and instinctively turn away from his gaze, my formerly good mood quickly dropping. After three excruciating seconds he remembers he was on the verge of saying something.
"Ah... If you want to go first, go ahead."
I nervously nod and then approach the desk. I notice that the clerk behind the desk isn't the same person as when Hisao and I arrived here and as a result I'm treated to three stares rather than two in less than half a minute. I'm beginning to feel that not letting Hisao handle this was a really big mistake.
"Ah... ummm..."
"Can I help you, miss?"
"I... uh... W-we w-would like to s-stay for one m-more hour."
"Ah... Of course. What's your booth number?"
"Uh?"
03
Damnit! There was probably a number next to the door when we entered the booth, but I didn't pay attention to it when I entered or left. I desperately dig through my memories of the last hour, but my nervousness makes it impossible to recall what number Hisao and I were in. If I get the number wrong and then have to return here to sort things out later that'll be even worse.
"Ummm... D-down the hall on the r-right..."
"Number 15? 16? 17? 18?"
I'm straining to resist the urge to just run off. Just when I'm about to blurt out a random number, I have a moment of clarity that manages to calm me down just a bit.
"Ummm... W-we called ahead earlier to ask if t-there was still r-room. Y-You'd keep a b-booth r-reserved f-for us."
It's a longshot since this employee may not have even been on duty when Hisao called this morning, but maybe whoever took the call wrote it down. Sure enough, the clerk nods, checks a notepad next to his computer and then looks at me.
"Nakai. Booth number 16."
"Y-Yes. T-That's us. Ummm... One m-more hour, please."
I hand him the yen I brought along, and he makes a semi-bow to me in return.
"Please enjoy your stay, and I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience."
I realize he's expected to apologize for any and all issues that arise, whether they're his fault or not, but it feels odd to say sorry for something that's entirely caused by my anxieties. When I take the change he hands me and turn around, I suddenly realize that the couple behind me hasn't said a single word since I first started interacting with the desk clerk and has been following my tortured conversation word-for-word. This time it's the girl staring at me. My anxiety flaring up, I make my way past them and towards the restroom as fast as I can without actually running. As I get away from there, I can feel their gaze on my back like a pair of knives.
--------------------------------------
04
My restroom break takes longer than I planned, simply because I remain in the stall until my nerves have eased a bit. I don't want to return to Hisao looking all stressed out, or he'll just get worried about me. After taking a few minutes to calm down, I exit the stall, wash my hands and then prepare to return to our booth.
"Oh!"
That's when the door suddenly opens and a familiar face walks in. It's the same person who witnessed my bungled conversation with the receptionist a few minutes earlier. Upon seeing me, she lets out a subdued cry of surprise. I can feel my anxiety rearing its head again as she looks at me, but before I can decide on whether to flee back into the stall or make a quick exit from the restroom, she makes a quick bow and opens her mouth to speak.
"Ummm... Excuse me."
She seems a bit uneasy herself, probably due to my appearance. Is she going to try and have some random conversation about nothing with me? I really should get going.
"I'm... ah... sorry for earlier. I really didn't mean to stare."
That's a bit of a surprise. I don't receive apologies very often. Most of the time I have the impression that others feel the fault for making them uncomfortable lies with me, and the best thing I can do to get rid of the awkwardness is to quickly get away from their presence.
"It's... o-okay."
"Can I ask you a question, please?"
A question? What would she want to ask? I hope she's not going to ask how I got these scars. 'What happened to you?' is a question that was posed to me on several occasions when I first came to Yamaku, and I've never been able to deal with it very well. It's not like the answer's all that difficult to guess, so why even both with the question?
"This may seem a bit forward and I... ah... apologize in advance, but erm..."
If she asks about my burn scars, I'm out of here. I'll just cross my fingers and hope there's nobody in the hallway to see me sprint back to our booth.
"...I was just wondering if you..."
What could she possibly want to know about me if not for my scarring?
"...you wouldn't happen to be a student at Yamaku Academy, would you?"
"W-What?"
That question comes so completely out of nowhere that I visibly reel in shock. For the first time since she started speaking to me, I move my gaze away from the floor and towards the person standing in front of me. She's a girl with a slim figure and a slightly delicate posture. Her hair, which is even darker than my own, reaches just past her shoulders, and her long bangs are not completely unlike mine. I can't say she looks familiar to me. Does this person know me or something?
I struggle to determine how to react, but the girl in front of me patiently waits for me to get my bearings back. I finally manage to stammer out a response, my curiosity slowly reining in my anxiety.
"I... ah... I am. B-But how...?"
She gives me a rather weak smile that seems more than a little forced.
"There was... a boy at my school who was hospitalized last school year. He... ended up transferring there."
"H-Hospitalized last school year and t-transferred?"
I certainly know one person at Yamaku who fits that particular description.
"I... ah... overheard your conversation at the reception desk earlier. His... ah... last name matched the one that the receptionist mentioned. I apologize if I got this wrong, but I wondered..."
There's no doubt in my mind that this girl is talking about Hisao. What are the odds of us running into someone from his old school? Well, according to Hisao this place is rather close to his old high school, so I suppose the odds of us running into students from there aren't impossibly low, especially since it's summer break.
"Ah... "
This girl is pretty quick to latch onto a surname that is probably shared by several more families in a city as large as this one.
"I... t-think we're t-talking about the same p-person, but..."
I can't help but grimace as the girl's logic suddenly hits me. I already know that she's aware of Yamaku being a school. Chances are that she also knows what kind of school it is. In that case, she probably decided to take her chances because it was a girl with severe facial scarring who was bringing up Hisao's name. The idea that I can be this easily identified as a Yamaku student in this way, even when I'm out of my school uniform, feels like a painful blow to the gut. The girl, who is eyeing me pretty closely, looks slightly worried.
"Is something wrong?"
I quickly brush off her concerns. I don't think there's a need for me to bring up my insecurity about my scars.
"It's n-nothing. Ummm... so... y-you were f-friends with Hisao?"
Her forced smile seems to relax for a moment when I mention Hisao's first name, but then resurfaces just as quickly.
"We were... in the same class."
Hisao, during one of our get-togethers in the city, confided in me that there were only three people he used to hang out with on a regular basis before he moved to Yamaku, and it doesn't seem like this girl was one of them. Simply a former classmate then?
"Oh."
But there's something that doesn't make sense to me. Why is she having this tortured discussion with me? If she overheard his name, she must have heard our booth number as well. Why didn't she just take a peek inside and simply apologize if the person inside wasn't who she was expecting?
"Ummm... Are y-you g-going to say hello to him?"
The girl in front of me doesn't immediately answer. For a moment she seems lost in thought. Then she smiles awkwardly.
"I am... uh... not sure if I should impose on him."
She sighs. For some reason she's fidgeting a bit as if trying to make a decision yet not quite succeeding.
"It's a bit complicated."
Complicated? That's rather vague. Were they more than classmates? Did she have a crush on him? Or...?
I suddenly remember something Hisao once told me. It was on the day that I first told Hisao about why I look the way I do. In return he told me that his first heart attack took place when a girl confessed to him. Could the person in front of me be that girl? That would explain her seeming awkwardness.
Hisao has told me before that he lost contact with all the people from his old school, including his old friends, during his hospitalisation. While telling me about that, he did his best to put on a 'life goes on, so what can you do'-attitude, although since I went through a similar thing myself when I was younger, I never truly bought his act. If what Hisao's parents said this morning was true and if this girl is the person who confessed to him, then she's also the girl who visited him in the hospital for a while. The girl I was being compared to.
"S-Sorry if it's too f-forward to ask, but d-did you... ummm... l-like him?"
She doesn't immediately respond, obviously not completely sure if it's appropriate to answer that question.
"I was there when... it happened. I visited him in the hospital for a while, but I haven't really heard from him since his hospitalisation. We... didn't really part on the best of terms."
Looks like my hunch was correct. This girl confessed to him last year, his heart acted up and he spent nearly half a year in the hospital. She visited him at first, but they drifted apart while Hisao was busy digesting how much his life had changed. I can't really judge her for not sticking with him all that time since I did an even worse job supporting him during his last stay in the hospital. I don't think anything like a relationship ever came out of it. Hisao already mentioned before that they lost contact after she stopped dropping by. Yet at some point he did get a letter which I suspect came from her, and he was visibly upset when he saw who sent it. He mentioned wanting to write a letter back at some point, but it sounds like he never actually got around to doing it.
I guess even when you think you've moved on, people from your old life resurfacing unexpectedly can quickly cause the past to come back and haunt you. That seems to be the case for this girl too. I sincerely wonder how Hisao would react if he suddenly came face to face with this girl. He's been doing pretty well lately, so maybe he would be in the mood for briefly catching up. But judging from the way they went their separate ways and the fact that he never ended up sending a reply to that letter, it's equally likely that a confrontation would be excruciatingly awkward. I'm fairly certain that this girl is currently contemplating the same thing.
"On the one hand it feels a bit rude to know he's here and not say hello and ask him how he's doing. But it could get a bit awkward, too, and I... don't really want to ruin the afternoon for him or for myself."
"T-The person you came in with... Is he y-your b-boyfriend?"
The girl gives me a tiny smile.
"Maybe. This is only our first date."
She rolls her eyes a bit.
"It almost makes you wonder if this is an omen of some sort, does it not?"
I personally think that instead of an omen this karaoke club is simply popular with the students from Hisao's old high school, and Hisao simply took me here because he was familiar with the place without really thinking of the possibility of running into someone he knows.
"Ummm..."
I'm not really sure what to tell this girl. I think Hisao has moved on from that old 'relationship'or he wouldn't be dating me. This girl has moved on too or she wouldn't be going out with that person I saw at the reception desk. But I can imagine that when she thinks about Hisao, she's still thinking about that boy lying in his hospital bed and trying to fight off a depression. That's probably her most recent impression of him after all. Maybe I can help with that.
05
"...if you're c-curious about h-how he's d-doing, I c-could tell you a f-few things. He's b-been in my class since early June. He... ummm... has been eating lunch with m-my best friend and me since h-his first week there. It t-took him a bit of t-time to get used to the n-new school, but n-now he gets along well w-with most of the class."
She doesn't immediately react, and I wonder if I'm even doing the right thing here, but I still continue on.
"He still l-likes to read a lot, l-like he did in the hospital. He also set up a science club together with our homeroom t-teacher who also teaches science. The club is still s-small, but Hisao is looking to recruit more m-members. Our homeroom teacher has t-taken a liking to him because he's doing so well in the subject. He also plans to study science after he g-graduates."
I hesitate for a moment before continuing on a more serious subject.
"He... w-was hospitalized again a little while back because a small accident triggered his c-condition, but fortunately that w-was only for a week. After he got out he told me that he w-wasn't going to let a hospital s-stay get him down again and that he wanted to continue where he left off. He goes jogging almost daily to stay in shape, and he does his best to mind his medication, so his condition doesn't h-hinder him in everyday life these days. My best f-friend let us come with her to Scotland for a while, and I think Hisao also really enjoyed that. I t-think he's... happy with his l-life right now."
I kept my eyes pointed at the floor during most of my story to limit my stammering, but when I finish my story and cautiously look back at the girl, I immediately notice that her awkward posture has diminished, and a genuine smile has appeared on her face. She lets out a soft giggle.
"You brightened up a little while talking about him. Are you... dating him?"
I nod meekly, a bit embarassed by her observation but also feeling a bit proud.
"S-Since early July. We're c-currently on a date too."
She smiles gratefully at me.
"Thank you for telling me all this. It's a real relief to know he bounced back so well."
"It's o-okay."
"If it's just you and him here then he's probably starting to wonder what's keeping you. I was thinking; it'll probably feel odd if I seek out his company instead of my date's."
"M-Maybe we s-should both j-just go and have a good time without c-complicating things."
She gives a determined nod.
"Perhaps that would be best."
"O-Okay then. Ummm... G-goodbye then?"
"There's one more thing if you don't mind."
"Yes?"
She gives me a curious smile.
"May I know your name?"
I blush. We've been talking for some time now without even knowing the other's name. I make a polite bow to her.
06
"H-Hanako."
She returns my bow and lets out a girlish giggle.
"That sounds a little bit like mine. I am Iwanako."
"So... ah... I'll be g-going then."
She nods
"Thank you again."
I make my way over to the exit, but before I open it I look behind me one more time. Iwanako smiles at me and gives me a small wave.
"Hanako... enjoy your date today."
I smile bashfully.
"Y-You too, Iwanako."
--------------------------------------
"I was beginning to worry whether the door of your stall got jammed."
I give my boyfriend, who I find waiting outside the ladies' room, a guilty smile.
"S-Sorry for making you wait."
"Well, at least I have the feeling that I'm not the only one who's waiting for his lady friend."
He shoots a brief look at another person who's standing in the hallway and who appears to be keeping an eye on the door I just exited.
"Let's get back to our booth."
I take hold of his sleeve and give it a gentle tug to indicate I'm eager to get back.
"Okay, okay, no need to rush. If we exceed the time we have we can always extend our stay a second time."
We move back into our booth, but before I take the microphone I turn to Hisao.
"Hisao? If it's okay with you, I'd like to go somewhere else after our time here is up."
"Sure, Hanako. Any suggestions?"
"I would... like to see your old high s-school, or maybe the game center you used t-to visit."
"Hmmm."
He seems deep in thought for a moment.
"Can we move that to tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, we might actually end up running into someone I know there and I'm not completely sure how to act around them yet. I'd like to sleep a night on it if that's okay with you."
"Sure."
"I know a cozy movie theater I've been to a few times in the past that's about a 15 minute bus ride away from here. We could go there and see if there are any nice movies playing."
"That sounds like fun."
"It's a deal then. But let's go through a few more songs first."
"Okay."
He takes one of the soft drinks standing on the table and raises it.
"To a wonderful date."
I take my own soft drink and touch the bottle against his.
"T-To a wonderful date."
07
My anxiety from the incident at the reception desk vanished, I pick a song from the karaoke machine, grab the microphone and then walk up to Hisao and gently sit on his lap. As I start singing and he lovingly wraps his arms around my waist, I think back on the last words of the conversation in the restroom and smile.
I think I will enjoy my date today.
08
01
"♪ Fill my heart with song ♫"
"♫ And let me sing forever more ♪"
"♪ You are all I long for ♪"
"♫ All I worship and adore ♫"
"♫ In other words, please be true ♪"
"♪ In other words, I love you ♫"
"♫ In other words, I love you ♪"
As I finish singing the latest song we picked for our karaoke session and make a humble bow, my one-man audience breaks into spontanous applause. I blush a bit, but am nevertheless very pleased by how appreciative Hisao seems to be about my singing, although his opinion is probably far from unbiased.
"That sounded really good, Hanako."
"T-Thanks."
I walk over to the table and take a few sips from the soft drinks we bought in order to prevent my throat from getting sore. In the meantime, Hisao is already eagerly browsing through the karaoke machine's music catalog.
"Would you be up for another one, Hanako?"
"Don't you want to try another song?"
"If you take this one too, I'll give you a kiss."
I playfully roll my eyes. While the initial idea was to take turns in singing songs, I ended up doing most of the singing while Hisao took the role of a doting audience that keeps asking for an encore. Still, I'm having a good time. The karaoke booth we got was among the smaller ones, but the atmosphere in here is relaxed and cozy.
"Hmmm... Okay. But I need a little break first."
"Sure."
I take a seat at the table, and Hisao sits down next to me and wraps an arm around me.
"I think we can safely declare this date a success."
"Hisao... Do you... like my singing voice that much?"
I admit I'm not exactly bad at singing, but I'm surprised how taken Hisao is by it.
"Yeah, I do. I guess it's because I've never seen this side of you before. Or rather 'heard this side of you' is a better way to word it. Your singing voice is kind of different from your speaking voice."
"It's not... that different, is it?"
"It's still recognizable as yours, but it's... less restrained. Since you usually speak rather softly, it's a pretty noticable contrast when you raise your voice like you do when you sing."
I suppose he has a point. In everyday life, I make an attempt to attract as little attention as possible, and never raising my voice is very much part of that.
"Out of curiosity; how are Akira's and Lilly's singing voices? I understood that Lilly's not overly fond of karaoke."
I smile.
"Akira's singing is okay - as long as she doesn't drink too much beer. But she's always really enjoying herself while singing karaoke, whether she sounds good or not. She's not too self-concious about how she sounds when she's with us."
"And Lilly?"
"I think she sounds fine. Maybe she's a bit perfectionistic about how she wants herself to sound. Part of the reason she doesn't enjoy karaoke more is because she can't read the lyrics off the screen and there aren't many songs that she has completely memorized."
"That kind of makes sense."
"She does enjoy hanging out with Akira and me and listening to us though."
"Maybe the four of us could go give it a shot the next time Akira is in Japan, assuming she doesn't visit in the middle of examination hell."
"That would be nice."
Hisao takes a chug of his own drink and then checks his watch.
"Man, time sure flies. Our hour is nearly up already. What do you say about extending our stay for another hour?"
"Sure."
Hisao takes out his wallet and gets some bills out. It's part of the sum we got from Lilly's mother before we boarded our plane back to Japan. He prepares to get up, but I stop him.
"Ummm... I c-could go and do that. I have to take a restroom break anyway."
"If you insist."
"Thanks."
"Take your time."
02
I put the money in my pocket and leave the booth, making my way over to the reception. From what I can tell, most of the booths are occupied right now. Summer break is obviously an excuse for many local students to take some time off from school work and relax for a spell. Fortunately, it's not particularly crowded at the reception desk. The only people aside from the employee behind the desk are two people about my age who seem to be a couple and who still appear to be involved in a discussion on how long to rent a booth. I carefully approach them, wondering if I should wait for them to make a decision or if I should ask them if I can quickly let the clerk extend my stay. Then I wonder if I'd even have the nerve to follow through on the second option.
As the two other customers notice me, the male looks at me and opens his mouth to say something, but then notices my scarring and stares for a moment without saying anything. The female, who until now was cheerfully chattering to her partner, gives me an awkward look. I shudder a bit and instinctively turn away from his gaze, my formerly good mood quickly dropping. After three excruciating seconds he remembers he was on the verge of saying something.
"Ah... If you want to go first, go ahead."
I nervously nod and then approach the desk. I notice that the clerk behind the desk isn't the same person as when Hisao and I arrived here and as a result I'm treated to three stares rather than two in less than half a minute. I'm beginning to feel that not letting Hisao handle this was a really big mistake.
"Ah... ummm..."
"Can I help you, miss?"
"I... uh... W-we w-would like to s-stay for one m-more hour."
"Ah... Of course. What's your booth number?"
"Uh?"
03
Damnit! There was probably a number next to the door when we entered the booth, but I didn't pay attention to it when I entered or left. I desperately dig through my memories of the last hour, but my nervousness makes it impossible to recall what number Hisao and I were in. If I get the number wrong and then have to return here to sort things out later that'll be even worse.
"Ummm... D-down the hall on the r-right..."
"Number 15? 16? 17? 18?"
I'm straining to resist the urge to just run off. Just when I'm about to blurt out a random number, I have a moment of clarity that manages to calm me down just a bit.
"Ummm... W-we called ahead earlier to ask if t-there was still r-room. Y-You'd keep a b-booth r-reserved f-for us."
It's a longshot since this employee may not have even been on duty when Hisao called this morning, but maybe whoever took the call wrote it down. Sure enough, the clerk nods, checks a notepad next to his computer and then looks at me.
"Nakai. Booth number 16."
"Y-Yes. T-That's us. Ummm... One m-more hour, please."
I hand him the yen I brought along, and he makes a semi-bow to me in return.
"Please enjoy your stay, and I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience."
I realize he's expected to apologize for any and all issues that arise, whether they're his fault or not, but it feels odd to say sorry for something that's entirely caused by my anxieties. When I take the change he hands me and turn around, I suddenly realize that the couple behind me hasn't said a single word since I first started interacting with the desk clerk and has been following my tortured conversation word-for-word. This time it's the girl staring at me. My anxiety flaring up, I make my way past them and towards the restroom as fast as I can without actually running. As I get away from there, I can feel their gaze on my back like a pair of knives.
--------------------------------------
04
My restroom break takes longer than I planned, simply because I remain in the stall until my nerves have eased a bit. I don't want to return to Hisao looking all stressed out, or he'll just get worried about me. After taking a few minutes to calm down, I exit the stall, wash my hands and then prepare to return to our booth.
"Oh!"
That's when the door suddenly opens and a familiar face walks in. It's the same person who witnessed my bungled conversation with the receptionist a few minutes earlier. Upon seeing me, she lets out a subdued cry of surprise. I can feel my anxiety rearing its head again as she looks at me, but before I can decide on whether to flee back into the stall or make a quick exit from the restroom, she makes a quick bow and opens her mouth to speak.
"Ummm... Excuse me."
She seems a bit uneasy herself, probably due to my appearance. Is she going to try and have some random conversation about nothing with me? I really should get going.
"I'm... ah... sorry for earlier. I really didn't mean to stare."
That's a bit of a surprise. I don't receive apologies very often. Most of the time I have the impression that others feel the fault for making them uncomfortable lies with me, and the best thing I can do to get rid of the awkwardness is to quickly get away from their presence.
"It's... o-okay."
"Can I ask you a question, please?"
A question? What would she want to ask? I hope she's not going to ask how I got these scars. 'What happened to you?' is a question that was posed to me on several occasions when I first came to Yamaku, and I've never been able to deal with it very well. It's not like the answer's all that difficult to guess, so why even both with the question?
"This may seem a bit forward and I... ah... apologize in advance, but erm..."
If she asks about my burn scars, I'm out of here. I'll just cross my fingers and hope there's nobody in the hallway to see me sprint back to our booth.
"...I was just wondering if you..."
What could she possibly want to know about me if not for my scarring?
"...you wouldn't happen to be a student at Yamaku Academy, would you?"
"W-What?"
That question comes so completely out of nowhere that I visibly reel in shock. For the first time since she started speaking to me, I move my gaze away from the floor and towards the person standing in front of me. She's a girl with a slim figure and a slightly delicate posture. Her hair, which is even darker than my own, reaches just past her shoulders, and her long bangs are not completely unlike mine. I can't say she looks familiar to me. Does this person know me or something?
I struggle to determine how to react, but the girl in front of me patiently waits for me to get my bearings back. I finally manage to stammer out a response, my curiosity slowly reining in my anxiety.
"I... ah... I am. B-But how...?"
She gives me a rather weak smile that seems more than a little forced.
"There was... a boy at my school who was hospitalized last school year. He... ended up transferring there."
"H-Hospitalized last school year and t-transferred?"
I certainly know one person at Yamaku who fits that particular description.
"I... ah... overheard your conversation at the reception desk earlier. His... ah... last name matched the one that the receptionist mentioned. I apologize if I got this wrong, but I wondered..."
There's no doubt in my mind that this girl is talking about Hisao. What are the odds of us running into someone from his old school? Well, according to Hisao this place is rather close to his old high school, so I suppose the odds of us running into students from there aren't impossibly low, especially since it's summer break.
"Ah... "
This girl is pretty quick to latch onto a surname that is probably shared by several more families in a city as large as this one.
"I... t-think we're t-talking about the same p-person, but..."
I can't help but grimace as the girl's logic suddenly hits me. I already know that she's aware of Yamaku being a school. Chances are that she also knows what kind of school it is. In that case, she probably decided to take her chances because it was a girl with severe facial scarring who was bringing up Hisao's name. The idea that I can be this easily identified as a Yamaku student in this way, even when I'm out of my school uniform, feels like a painful blow to the gut. The girl, who is eyeing me pretty closely, looks slightly worried.
"Is something wrong?"
I quickly brush off her concerns. I don't think there's a need for me to bring up my insecurity about my scars.
"It's n-nothing. Ummm... so... y-you were f-friends with Hisao?"
Her forced smile seems to relax for a moment when I mention Hisao's first name, but then resurfaces just as quickly.
"We were... in the same class."
Hisao, during one of our get-togethers in the city, confided in me that there were only three people he used to hang out with on a regular basis before he moved to Yamaku, and it doesn't seem like this girl was one of them. Simply a former classmate then?
"Oh."
But there's something that doesn't make sense to me. Why is she having this tortured discussion with me? If she overheard his name, she must have heard our booth number as well. Why didn't she just take a peek inside and simply apologize if the person inside wasn't who she was expecting?
"Ummm... Are y-you g-going to say hello to him?"
The girl in front of me doesn't immediately answer. For a moment she seems lost in thought. Then she smiles awkwardly.
"I am... uh... not sure if I should impose on him."
She sighs. For some reason she's fidgeting a bit as if trying to make a decision yet not quite succeeding.
"It's a bit complicated."
Complicated? That's rather vague. Were they more than classmates? Did she have a crush on him? Or...?
I suddenly remember something Hisao once told me. It was on the day that I first told Hisao about why I look the way I do. In return he told me that his first heart attack took place when a girl confessed to him. Could the person in front of me be that girl? That would explain her seeming awkwardness.
Hisao has told me before that he lost contact with all the people from his old school, including his old friends, during his hospitalisation. While telling me about that, he did his best to put on a 'life goes on, so what can you do'-attitude, although since I went through a similar thing myself when I was younger, I never truly bought his act. If what Hisao's parents said this morning was true and if this girl is the person who confessed to him, then she's also the girl who visited him in the hospital for a while. The girl I was being compared to.
"S-Sorry if it's too f-forward to ask, but d-did you... ummm... l-like him?"
She doesn't immediately respond, obviously not completely sure if it's appropriate to answer that question.
"I was there when... it happened. I visited him in the hospital for a while, but I haven't really heard from him since his hospitalisation. We... didn't really part on the best of terms."
Looks like my hunch was correct. This girl confessed to him last year, his heart acted up and he spent nearly half a year in the hospital. She visited him at first, but they drifted apart while Hisao was busy digesting how much his life had changed. I can't really judge her for not sticking with him all that time since I did an even worse job supporting him during his last stay in the hospital. I don't think anything like a relationship ever came out of it. Hisao already mentioned before that they lost contact after she stopped dropping by. Yet at some point he did get a letter which I suspect came from her, and he was visibly upset when he saw who sent it. He mentioned wanting to write a letter back at some point, but it sounds like he never actually got around to doing it.
I guess even when you think you've moved on, people from your old life resurfacing unexpectedly can quickly cause the past to come back and haunt you. That seems to be the case for this girl too. I sincerely wonder how Hisao would react if he suddenly came face to face with this girl. He's been doing pretty well lately, so maybe he would be in the mood for briefly catching up. But judging from the way they went their separate ways and the fact that he never ended up sending a reply to that letter, it's equally likely that a confrontation would be excruciatingly awkward. I'm fairly certain that this girl is currently contemplating the same thing.
"On the one hand it feels a bit rude to know he's here and not say hello and ask him how he's doing. But it could get a bit awkward, too, and I... don't really want to ruin the afternoon for him or for myself."
"T-The person you came in with... Is he y-your b-boyfriend?"
The girl gives me a tiny smile.
"Maybe. This is only our first date."
She rolls her eyes a bit.
"It almost makes you wonder if this is an omen of some sort, does it not?"
I personally think that instead of an omen this karaoke club is simply popular with the students from Hisao's old high school, and Hisao simply took me here because he was familiar with the place without really thinking of the possibility of running into someone he knows.
"Ummm..."
I'm not really sure what to tell this girl. I think Hisao has moved on from that old 'relationship'or he wouldn't be dating me. This girl has moved on too or she wouldn't be going out with that person I saw at the reception desk. But I can imagine that when she thinks about Hisao, she's still thinking about that boy lying in his hospital bed and trying to fight off a depression. That's probably her most recent impression of him after all. Maybe I can help with that.
05
"...if you're c-curious about h-how he's d-doing, I c-could tell you a f-few things. He's b-been in my class since early June. He... ummm... has been eating lunch with m-my best friend and me since h-his first week there. It t-took him a bit of t-time to get used to the n-new school, but n-now he gets along well w-with most of the class."
She doesn't immediately react, and I wonder if I'm even doing the right thing here, but I still continue on.
"He still l-likes to read a lot, l-like he did in the hospital. He also set up a science club together with our homeroom t-teacher who also teaches science. The club is still s-small, but Hisao is looking to recruit more m-members. Our homeroom teacher has t-taken a liking to him because he's doing so well in the subject. He also plans to study science after he g-graduates."
I hesitate for a moment before continuing on a more serious subject.
"He... w-was hospitalized again a little while back because a small accident triggered his c-condition, but fortunately that w-was only for a week. After he got out he told me that he w-wasn't going to let a hospital s-stay get him down again and that he wanted to continue where he left off. He goes jogging almost daily to stay in shape, and he does his best to mind his medication, so his condition doesn't h-hinder him in everyday life these days. My best f-friend let us come with her to Scotland for a while, and I think Hisao also really enjoyed that. I t-think he's... happy with his l-life right now."
I kept my eyes pointed at the floor during most of my story to limit my stammering, but when I finish my story and cautiously look back at the girl, I immediately notice that her awkward posture has diminished, and a genuine smile has appeared on her face. She lets out a soft giggle.
"You brightened up a little while talking about him. Are you... dating him?"
I nod meekly, a bit embarassed by her observation but also feeling a bit proud.
"S-Since early July. We're c-currently on a date too."
She smiles gratefully at me.
"Thank you for telling me all this. It's a real relief to know he bounced back so well."
"It's o-okay."
"If it's just you and him here then he's probably starting to wonder what's keeping you. I was thinking; it'll probably feel odd if I seek out his company instead of my date's."
"M-Maybe we s-should both j-just go and have a good time without c-complicating things."
She gives a determined nod.
"Perhaps that would be best."
"O-Okay then. Ummm... G-goodbye then?"
"There's one more thing if you don't mind."
"Yes?"
She gives me a curious smile.
"May I know your name?"
I blush. We've been talking for some time now without even knowing the other's name. I make a polite bow to her.
06
"H-Hanako."
She returns my bow and lets out a girlish giggle.
"That sounds a little bit like mine. I am Iwanako."
"So... ah... I'll be g-going then."
She nods
"Thank you again."
I make my way over to the exit, but before I open it I look behind me one more time. Iwanako smiles at me and gives me a small wave.
"Hanako... enjoy your date today."
I smile bashfully.
"Y-You too, Iwanako."
--------------------------------------
"I was beginning to worry whether the door of your stall got jammed."
I give my boyfriend, who I find waiting outside the ladies' room, a guilty smile.
"S-Sorry for making you wait."
"Well, at least I have the feeling that I'm not the only one who's waiting for his lady friend."
He shoots a brief look at another person who's standing in the hallway and who appears to be keeping an eye on the door I just exited.
"Let's get back to our booth."
I take hold of his sleeve and give it a gentle tug to indicate I'm eager to get back.
"Okay, okay, no need to rush. If we exceed the time we have we can always extend our stay a second time."
We move back into our booth, but before I take the microphone I turn to Hisao.
"Hisao? If it's okay with you, I'd like to go somewhere else after our time here is up."
"Sure, Hanako. Any suggestions?"
"I would... like to see your old high s-school, or maybe the game center you used t-to visit."
"Hmmm."
He seems deep in thought for a moment.
"Can we move that to tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeah, we might actually end up running into someone I know there and I'm not completely sure how to act around them yet. I'd like to sleep a night on it if that's okay with you."
"Sure."
"I know a cozy movie theater I've been to a few times in the past that's about a 15 minute bus ride away from here. We could go there and see if there are any nice movies playing."
"That sounds like fun."
"It's a deal then. But let's go through a few more songs first."
"Okay."
He takes one of the soft drinks standing on the table and raises it.
"To a wonderful date."
I take my own soft drink and touch the bottle against his.
"T-To a wonderful date."
07
My anxiety from the incident at the reception desk vanished, I pick a song from the karaoke machine, grab the microphone and then walk up to Hisao and gently sit on his lap. As I start singing and he lovingly wraps his arms around my waist, I think back on the last words of the conversation in the restroom and smile.
I think I will enjoy my date today.
08
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 37
Chapter 37
01
The sounds of footsteps approaching the kitchen draws my attention away from the cupboard containing what I believe to be various cooking implements. I've been trying to memorize the layout of the kitchen and the contents of the cupboards and drawers since the start of this week. Due to the size of the kitchen this is not exactly a small task.
As the footsteps get closer, I softly tilt my head to try and determine the identity of the person approaching me. From the sound of the heels it must be a woman, so that rules out Father. The footsteps' pace is also too quick and steady to be his. It could be Allison. Or perhaps Fiona, the cleaning lady. From what I've noticed, Fiona's pace is more energetic than this, so that must mean Allison has returned from her shopping trip. I turn around and try to face the doorway so I can greet the person walking into the room.
"Good afternoon, Allison. You're back sooner than I expected."
"Good afternoon, Miss Lilly. I was lucky it wasn't very busy at Raigmore's apothecary, so it only took a few minutes to get your father's latest batch of medication."
"I greatly appreciate it. May I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"When we have visitors here, do we usually serve green or black tea?"
"It depends on the visitors. We offer both out of courtesy, but people from around here usually stick with black and the few times your father has Japanese visitors over they usually prefer green."
"Do you often have visitors here?"
"Your mother has visitors almost weekly. There are friends with whom she goes on bike rides around the countryside, and they usually have tea before and after the ride. She's also chairwoman of the neighborhood association, and meetings often take place in this house."
"Mother certainly lives an active life. Doesn't she ever take it easy?"
Allison chuckles as if I just told her a very funny joke.
"I do not think your mother is the type for that."
I smile wistfully. Mother has changed so much from the way I remember her. Back in Japan she hardly ever left the house and wouldn't even go to my school's PTA meetings or take us to the park. Would I change this much if I had decided to move here? It's a bit of a creepy thought. I like the way I am.
"How about visitors for Father?"
"People from the Japanese branch occasionally stop by in Inverness, and your father lets them spend the night here instead of at a hotel. He always looks forwards to their visits, and when they stay here we are asked to treat them like royalty. But such a thing only happens once every four months or so."
"We will be getting a visitor from Father's office later this day. He called earlier today, and he asked if it was okay if he stopped by after work to drop off some equipment for us."
"I see. That means he will probably be here within 40 minutes or so. But I don't think your father would appreciate it if we let that colleague come up into the master bedroom."
"No, he would not. I think it would be best if we receive him in Father's study. Isn't that where he usually has his guests?"
"It is. So what would you like me to do, Miss Lilly?"
"Ahem..."
This is a bit awkward. Two days ago, Mother took a flight to the United States together with a business delegation consisting of Akira, Kojima and a few more colleagues, leaving Father and me as the sole residents in this house. Allison was supposed to be responsible for running the day-to-day things here, but only minutes after we left Inverness airport, she started getting slightly more formal than usual with me and explained that as far as she was concerned I was the lady of the house right now and officially in charge of the household. I was taken back by that at first, but over the last two days I've slowly started growing into the role that had been handed to me, and although I'm not about to admit it out loud, I am somewhat enjoying it.
"Perhaps it would be good if Fiona could make certain that the room is cleaned and vacuumed. Because of its distinct appearance, our visitor is certain to pay close attention to the state of its interior."
"As you wish. If I give Miss Wilson a hand, I am certain we'll be able to have it looking prim and proper in 10 minutes."
"Wonderful. After Father's colleague called, I made a phone call to the nurse we hired to do Father's daily checkup, and she thinks he should be able to handle a short meeting as long as he rests up afterwards. When our visitor arrives, I could perhaps do the serving while you wake up Father, make certain he looks presentable and help him down the stairs. I might have trouble with some of those tasks myself."
"Not a problem. Do you wish me to help you make the tea, Miss Lilly?"
"I think I can manage. Assuming everything is still in the same place as it was yesterday."
"It should be. I brought some tasty biscuits along to go with the tea. I put the box containing them on the second shelf of the cupboard next to the fridge."
"Shall we get started then?"
--------------------------------------
"Good afternoon. May I help you?"
After the doorbell rang, I made my way over to the front door, while Allison went to help Father get out of bed. I do hope he will be okay. It's only been about two weeks since his heart attack and he's only been home for a few days.
"Good afternoon. Geoffry McLaughlin. We spoke on the phone two hours ago."
I make a gracious bow towards him.
"Welcome, Mister McLaughlin. I am Lilly Satou. This way please. My father will be with you shortly."
"Thanks."
I make my way back to the study with McLaughlin following close behind.
"Wow, nice place you've got here."
"You're flattering us."
He chuckles briefly at my response, but doesn't say anything back. When we reach the study and I open the door for him, he lets out a soft 'Holy Shit' under his breath.
"Please take a seat while I get you some tea. Would you prefer black or green tea?"
He pauses for a bit, probably wondering whether it's okay to let a blind person serve him hot tea, but then responds.
"Black with just a dash of milk, please."
"Certainly. I will be right back."
"One question if you don't mind."
"Of course."
"Do you have Wifi in this place?"
"Ah... Wifi?"
"Wireless network. I'd like to start setting things up, and it'd be good to know if I have to use the ethernet cable I brought along or if I can set up a wireless connection. Either way's fine."
My smile becomes a little more forced. I have no idea what he's talking about. He's probably assuming that every teenager, even a blind one, knows what a Wifi is.
"Ah... I'm afraid I... can't help you."
"That's fine. I'll just power up the laptop and see if it can detect any wireless routers around here. If I can find any and authorization is needed, I can ask your father for the password. Okay?"
Translation!
I force the brightest smile I can muster.
"That would be... good. I will be right back."
I quickly make my way out of the room and head over to the kitchen. I take the kettle from the stove, fill the tea pot and think back on what just happened. That was painfully embarrassing. I thank God that Father's not here right now, because he would certainly feel that I brought shame on him by my blatant display of computer illiteracy.
I can't let this throw me off though. After preparing the tea (and some fruit juice for Father) I carefully head back to the study, making sure not to accidentally drop the tray while reaching for the door handle.
"I apologize for taking so long."
"That's fine. I doubt I'd be able to prepare tea if I wasn't able to see what I was doing."
I pour a bit of milk into his cup and carefully fill it. Then I fill my own. I hold his cup out to him until he takes it from my hands.
"Please enjoy."
"Thanks."
"It might take Father a few minutes to get ready. Sorry for the inconvenience."
"No need to apologize. Suffering from a heart attack isn't something anyone would do on purpose, now is it?"
"That is certainly true. May I inquire what exactly do you do at the company, Mister McLaughlin?"
"You know, you can call me Geoffry if you wish. No need to be formal."
I merely smile at him. If Father heard me address one of his colleagues with his first name, I'd probably get in trouble.
"Anyway, I'm a system administrator. My colleague Alec and I are in charge of the department that maintains the computers, company network and servers at the office. We also take care of whatever issues people have with their computer systems. Hehe, in a way we're the most powerful people in the company."
I politely chuckle at his remark, but remind myself I'd better try and steer the conversation away from his area of expertise if I don't want to embarrass myself again.
"Your mother came to us last week with the request to set up a digital conference system."
Indeed. During the days I spent at Father's side after he was hospitalized, it quickly became clear to me that the matter of him now missing out on the final steps of the company's expansion wasn't a passing problem. And while I was thinking on how to help him, Hanako's suggestion of a teleconference came back to mind.
I first spoke to Akira about the feasibility and then later to Mother and Father as well. Mother wasn't extremely enthusiastic about going to the US without Father at first, and I don't think her reluctance was out of insecurity. Rather, she seems to partially blame Father's condition on the company and wasn't eager to stick her neck out for it instead of remaining by her husband's side. Eventually, I managed to convince her that helping Father tie up this loose end would be the best way to get the four of us together again. As for Father, he was reluctant as well because he considered not showing up in person to an important meeting to be an insult to his business partners although when Mother assured him that these were special circumstances and that the people we'd be meeting wouldn't think less of him for it, he eventually relented.
"I am glad you managed to obtain the necessary equipment so quickly."
"Well, we've worked with stuff like this before, so it wasn't that big of a deal."
I hear him take a careful sip from his cup.
"By the way, how is your dad?"
"He's getting better. Though it is unlikely he will be seen in the workplace any time soon."
I pause for a moment and then continue.
"Mister McLaughlin... It is probably best to tell you in advance that my father will not be able to talk at length and can only be present for a very short while. It would be good if you could take that into account."
"...fair enough. I'll try not to waste any time. I kind of need to get home quickly too. Lord knows it's going to be a long night for me as well. Alec's gonna owe me quite a few pints when he gets back."
"Your colleague accompanied our business delegation to the United States, didn't he?"
"Yeah, we drew straws to determine who was going to stay here and who was going to take a trip to the US and stay in a luxury hotel. Three guesses who took the short one."
I giggle a bit at his remark.
"That's unfortunate for you, but I assume that someone had to stay behind."
"Yeah and to be honest, this was for the best. Alec's a bit of an eternal bachelor, and he can afford to go there for a week or two. I have a wife and a seven-year old waiting for me at home, and my boy has football training at six each Wednesday. It'd be kinda hard to drive him there when I'm on the other side of the world. His mom could do it if necessary, I get called on emergencies from time to time, but there's usually nothing but fathers on the sidelines. Football is really a guy thing, you know?"
"Of course."
He's talking about it like it's normal for him to be home around that time each day. Maybe it is over here, but if that's the case then that's a pretty big contrast from the way things were in my childhood. Even before he left the country, Father's job often kept him away from the home for six days a week, and he wouldn't return from work until way after my bedtime. It was this way with all fathers in the neighborhood. During these weeks where I've been by his bedside, we've probably had more extended interaction than any other time in my life I remember.
I consider asking him about his son, but my ears suddenly pick up the sound of approaching footsteps. I instinctively rise to my feet when they stop on the other side of the door, and when it opens, I greet my father with a graceful bow.
01
The sounds of footsteps approaching the kitchen draws my attention away from the cupboard containing what I believe to be various cooking implements. I've been trying to memorize the layout of the kitchen and the contents of the cupboards and drawers since the start of this week. Due to the size of the kitchen this is not exactly a small task.
As the footsteps get closer, I softly tilt my head to try and determine the identity of the person approaching me. From the sound of the heels it must be a woman, so that rules out Father. The footsteps' pace is also too quick and steady to be his. It could be Allison. Or perhaps Fiona, the cleaning lady. From what I've noticed, Fiona's pace is more energetic than this, so that must mean Allison has returned from her shopping trip. I turn around and try to face the doorway so I can greet the person walking into the room.
"Good afternoon, Allison. You're back sooner than I expected."
"Good afternoon, Miss Lilly. I was lucky it wasn't very busy at Raigmore's apothecary, so it only took a few minutes to get your father's latest batch of medication."
"I greatly appreciate it. May I ask you a question?"
"Of course."
"When we have visitors here, do we usually serve green or black tea?"
"It depends on the visitors. We offer both out of courtesy, but people from around here usually stick with black and the few times your father has Japanese visitors over they usually prefer green."
"Do you often have visitors here?"
"Your mother has visitors almost weekly. There are friends with whom she goes on bike rides around the countryside, and they usually have tea before and after the ride. She's also chairwoman of the neighborhood association, and meetings often take place in this house."
"Mother certainly lives an active life. Doesn't she ever take it easy?"
Allison chuckles as if I just told her a very funny joke.
"I do not think your mother is the type for that."
I smile wistfully. Mother has changed so much from the way I remember her. Back in Japan she hardly ever left the house and wouldn't even go to my school's PTA meetings or take us to the park. Would I change this much if I had decided to move here? It's a bit of a creepy thought. I like the way I am.
"How about visitors for Father?"
"People from the Japanese branch occasionally stop by in Inverness, and your father lets them spend the night here instead of at a hotel. He always looks forwards to their visits, and when they stay here we are asked to treat them like royalty. But such a thing only happens once every four months or so."
"We will be getting a visitor from Father's office later this day. He called earlier today, and he asked if it was okay if he stopped by after work to drop off some equipment for us."
"I see. That means he will probably be here within 40 minutes or so. But I don't think your father would appreciate it if we let that colleague come up into the master bedroom."
"No, he would not. I think it would be best if we receive him in Father's study. Isn't that where he usually has his guests?"
"It is. So what would you like me to do, Miss Lilly?"
"Ahem..."
This is a bit awkward. Two days ago, Mother took a flight to the United States together with a business delegation consisting of Akira, Kojima and a few more colleagues, leaving Father and me as the sole residents in this house. Allison was supposed to be responsible for running the day-to-day things here, but only minutes after we left Inverness airport, she started getting slightly more formal than usual with me and explained that as far as she was concerned I was the lady of the house right now and officially in charge of the household. I was taken back by that at first, but over the last two days I've slowly started growing into the role that had been handed to me, and although I'm not about to admit it out loud, I am somewhat enjoying it.
"Perhaps it would be good if Fiona could make certain that the room is cleaned and vacuumed. Because of its distinct appearance, our visitor is certain to pay close attention to the state of its interior."
"As you wish. If I give Miss Wilson a hand, I am certain we'll be able to have it looking prim and proper in 10 minutes."
"Wonderful. After Father's colleague called, I made a phone call to the nurse we hired to do Father's daily checkup, and she thinks he should be able to handle a short meeting as long as he rests up afterwards. When our visitor arrives, I could perhaps do the serving while you wake up Father, make certain he looks presentable and help him down the stairs. I might have trouble with some of those tasks myself."
"Not a problem. Do you wish me to help you make the tea, Miss Lilly?"
"I think I can manage. Assuming everything is still in the same place as it was yesterday."
"It should be. I brought some tasty biscuits along to go with the tea. I put the box containing them on the second shelf of the cupboard next to the fridge."
"Shall we get started then?"
--------------------------------------
"Good afternoon. May I help you?"
After the doorbell rang, I made my way over to the front door, while Allison went to help Father get out of bed. I do hope he will be okay. It's only been about two weeks since his heart attack and he's only been home for a few days.
"Good afternoon. Geoffry McLaughlin. We spoke on the phone two hours ago."
I make a gracious bow towards him.
"Welcome, Mister McLaughlin. I am Lilly Satou. This way please. My father will be with you shortly."
"Thanks."
I make my way back to the study with McLaughlin following close behind.
"Wow, nice place you've got here."
"You're flattering us."
He chuckles briefly at my response, but doesn't say anything back. When we reach the study and I open the door for him, he lets out a soft 'Holy Shit' under his breath.
"Please take a seat while I get you some tea. Would you prefer black or green tea?"
He pauses for a bit, probably wondering whether it's okay to let a blind person serve him hot tea, but then responds.
"Black with just a dash of milk, please."
"Certainly. I will be right back."
"One question if you don't mind."
"Of course."
"Do you have Wifi in this place?"
"Ah... Wifi?"
"Wireless network. I'd like to start setting things up, and it'd be good to know if I have to use the ethernet cable I brought along or if I can set up a wireless connection. Either way's fine."
My smile becomes a little more forced. I have no idea what he's talking about. He's probably assuming that every teenager, even a blind one, knows what a Wifi is.
"Ah... I'm afraid I... can't help you."
"That's fine. I'll just power up the laptop and see if it can detect any wireless routers around here. If I can find any and authorization is needed, I can ask your father for the password. Okay?"
Translation!
I force the brightest smile I can muster.
"That would be... good. I will be right back."
I quickly make my way out of the room and head over to the kitchen. I take the kettle from the stove, fill the tea pot and think back on what just happened. That was painfully embarrassing. I thank God that Father's not here right now, because he would certainly feel that I brought shame on him by my blatant display of computer illiteracy.
I can't let this throw me off though. After preparing the tea (and some fruit juice for Father) I carefully head back to the study, making sure not to accidentally drop the tray while reaching for the door handle.
"I apologize for taking so long."
"That's fine. I doubt I'd be able to prepare tea if I wasn't able to see what I was doing."
I pour a bit of milk into his cup and carefully fill it. Then I fill my own. I hold his cup out to him until he takes it from my hands.
"Please enjoy."
"Thanks."
"It might take Father a few minutes to get ready. Sorry for the inconvenience."
"No need to apologize. Suffering from a heart attack isn't something anyone would do on purpose, now is it?"
"That is certainly true. May I inquire what exactly do you do at the company, Mister McLaughlin?"
"You know, you can call me Geoffry if you wish. No need to be formal."
I merely smile at him. If Father heard me address one of his colleagues with his first name, I'd probably get in trouble.
"Anyway, I'm a system administrator. My colleague Alec and I are in charge of the department that maintains the computers, company network and servers at the office. We also take care of whatever issues people have with their computer systems. Hehe, in a way we're the most powerful people in the company."
I politely chuckle at his remark, but remind myself I'd better try and steer the conversation away from his area of expertise if I don't want to embarrass myself again.
"Your mother came to us last week with the request to set up a digital conference system."
Indeed. During the days I spent at Father's side after he was hospitalized, it quickly became clear to me that the matter of him now missing out on the final steps of the company's expansion wasn't a passing problem. And while I was thinking on how to help him, Hanako's suggestion of a teleconference came back to mind.
I first spoke to Akira about the feasibility and then later to Mother and Father as well. Mother wasn't extremely enthusiastic about going to the US without Father at first, and I don't think her reluctance was out of insecurity. Rather, she seems to partially blame Father's condition on the company and wasn't eager to stick her neck out for it instead of remaining by her husband's side. Eventually, I managed to convince her that helping Father tie up this loose end would be the best way to get the four of us together again. As for Father, he was reluctant as well because he considered not showing up in person to an important meeting to be an insult to his business partners although when Mother assured him that these were special circumstances and that the people we'd be meeting wouldn't think less of him for it, he eventually relented.
"I am glad you managed to obtain the necessary equipment so quickly."
"Well, we've worked with stuff like this before, so it wasn't that big of a deal."
I hear him take a careful sip from his cup.
"By the way, how is your dad?"
"He's getting better. Though it is unlikely he will be seen in the workplace any time soon."
I pause for a moment and then continue.
"Mister McLaughlin... It is probably best to tell you in advance that my father will not be able to talk at length and can only be present for a very short while. It would be good if you could take that into account."
"...fair enough. I'll try not to waste any time. I kind of need to get home quickly too. Lord knows it's going to be a long night for me as well. Alec's gonna owe me quite a few pints when he gets back."
"Your colleague accompanied our business delegation to the United States, didn't he?"
"Yeah, we drew straws to determine who was going to stay here and who was going to take a trip to the US and stay in a luxury hotel. Three guesses who took the short one."
I giggle a bit at his remark.
"That's unfortunate for you, but I assume that someone had to stay behind."
"Yeah and to be honest, this was for the best. Alec's a bit of an eternal bachelor, and he can afford to go there for a week or two. I have a wife and a seven-year old waiting for me at home, and my boy has football training at six each Wednesday. It'd be kinda hard to drive him there when I'm on the other side of the world. His mom could do it if necessary, I get called on emergencies from time to time, but there's usually nothing but fathers on the sidelines. Football is really a guy thing, you know?"
"Of course."
He's talking about it like it's normal for him to be home around that time each day. Maybe it is over here, but if that's the case then that's a pretty big contrast from the way things were in my childhood. Even before he left the country, Father's job often kept him away from the home for six days a week, and he wouldn't return from work until way after my bedtime. It was this way with all fathers in the neighborhood. During these weeks where I've been by his bedside, we've probably had more extended interaction than any other time in my life I remember.
I consider asking him about his son, but my ears suddenly pick up the sound of approaching footsteps. I instinctively rise to my feet when they stop on the other side of the door, and when it opens, I greet my father with a graceful bow.
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:59 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.
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Chapter 37 - cont.
"Hello Father. I'm glad you could join us."
"Lilly. Mister... McLaughlin. Good afternoon."
I can tell that he's doing his best to speak at normal volume. Since speaking too loudly or even breathing too deeply is still painful and very exhausting, I doubt he will last very long. There is, however, no doubt in my mind that he'll do whatever it takes to make certain his colleague won't notice.
"Good afternoon, sir. How are you feeling?"
"I am well... thank you. I apologize for the delay."
"Not a problem. Your daughter's an excellent host."
I wait until he's seated, pour him a glass of fruit juice and hand it to him.
"Would you like some more tea, sir?"
"I haven't finished my first cup yet, but thanks."
He scrapes his throat.
"I'll try not to take up too much of your time. Shall I start explaining how we've set up things?"
A short pause before responding. I know that Father prefers to start meetings off slowly with some polite small talk and that getting down to business immediately feels rude to him, but at the same time he seems to remember the importance of saving his strength.
"Please proceed."
02
"First of all, I notice there's a wireless network set up here. I can log the laptop onto it, but I will need the network password."
"Please... check under... the table."
I hear a the sound of fingers probing the underside of the table surface.
"Ah! A network cable. I didn't realize that table leg was hollow. That'll do fine too."
I hear a soft click as the cable he spoke of is inserted into a device on the table.
"Looks like we have a connection to the web. This laptop here runs the conference software we've installed. This little unit next to it is the transmitter for the wireless headset. The headset should be able to pick up the signal from just about anywhere inside the house. I also have a normal headset ready on the off chance of the transmitter failing."
"I... beg your... pardon, but do... you have... a spare head... set?"
"Would you like someone else listening in too?"
"If... she is... interested."
I realize that Father's talking about me. I was planning to remain by his side this night, but I didn't expect being given a chance to actually listen in. I doubt I'll understand much of what's discussed, but this is quite the chance to hear my parents 'working'.
"I'd be honored, Father."
"I have several more headsets back at the office. I'll stop by there and fetch one later this evening."
"Thank you."
"This laptop is part of a pair. Alec took the other one along to the US. He has a transmitter just like the one here, except it's connected to a collection of microphones. Since some of those meetings the upcoming week will be held over dinner, we felt that putting a teleconference unit on the table might be cumbersome. The microphones we'll be handing out to the participants are the small, unintrusive kind. You clip them onto your lapel and then forget they are there. They have a noise filter too, so you shouldn't have any problems making out what is said even if there are other discussions going on nearby, and if the volume is too soft, the conferencing software has the ability to amplify the incoming voices."
"That is good. After... all, I will not... be able... to ask them to... repeat themselves."
"That's true. Everyone in the room will be getting a microphone, but only your oldest daughter will have an earphone, so she'll be the only one who can actually hear you."
Akira's job will be to act as Father's proxy. If, at any point, Father wants to bring up his own points, he will mention them to Akira and it'll be her task to relay them to the rest of the room.
"We also took the possibility into account that people might want to share documents. Alec has a small scanner with him, and I have a wireless printer in the trunk of my car. Any documents or graphs they want you to look at can be transferred from there to here in a matter of moments."
"Quite convenient. I... suppose all that is... left is to ex... plain to me how to set... up the connection."
"I think I actually have a better idea, sir."
"..."
I silently cringe. I'd be very surprised if Father didn't take that as an insult and the fact that I'm present here as well probably only made things worse. But to my surprise, there isn't even a subtle change in tone when my father answers.
"What exactly... did you... have in mind?"
"Well, I was thinking about changing the plan and being present here myself to operate the equipment. I could get things running over here while you and your daughter can relax in the room of your choosing and leave the technical stuff to me. You can focus on the meetings while I keep the connection running, handle the receiving and printing of incoming scans and immediately jump in in case of a malfunction."
"You would... work from this room... then?"
"Yeah. I can take over and control the laptop from my desk at the office, but in case of technical issues I'd still need to drive over here, and that could take up to 10 to 15 minutes. If I'm allowed to handle things here, that will also mean there won't be any need for me to spend time teaching you the ropes about setting up the connection and working with the software."
"...Very well then."
"Great. I believe the first meeting is set to take place at ten o' clock our time, so I could be here at nine to set things up. We'll have plenty of time to run some tests and talk to our guys on the other side."
"It has... decided then."
Sensing that there's not much more business to discuss, I take advantage of the moment of silence to address Father's colleague.
"Can I pour you another cup of tea, sir?"
"Just one then. I don't want to impose on you longer than necessary."
--------------------------------------
"Should I take the printer out of my car now or is it just going to get in the way?"
The meeting ended with a minimum of small talk, and I have taken it upon myself to see our visitor out while Allison guides Father back to the master bedroom."
"Is there a need to do... something... with it before it can be used?"
"No. Your father can turn it on and press the connect button and my laptop will find it as long as it's within range. I assume you'll want to remain in a bedroom upstairs this evening?"
"Yes, it would indeed be most convenient if he remains in bed. If you leave the printer in the hallway, our housekeeper will take it upstairs."
I hear the sound of the trunk opening and then being slammed shut. After putting his cargo in the hallway, he walks up to me again.
"I could tell he was straining himself earlier on. I'll set your dad's microphone's output volume a little higher than usual so he won't need to raise his voice as much. I have a buddy who broke a few ribs in a rugby match once, and he spoke in little more than single syllables while he was recovering. It's a real pain when you can't breathe well."
"Thank you for going through the trouble of accommodating him."
"Don't sweat it. I'll be back in a few hours."
I remain near the front door until the sound of his car's engine is no longer audible and then make my way back inside. Father is probably resting right now, which gives me time to get started on today's dinner. This is probably going to be a long night, so it'll be best to be well prepared.
--------------------------------------
03
"I did not even hear the doorbell. Your sharp... sense of hearing never ceases to amaze me."
I smile humbly upon re-entering the master bedroom after briefly going downstairs to let the system administrator in and making certain he was provided with a cup of tea. The housekeeping staff all went home two hours ago, but Allison made sure that everything she thought I'd need for tonight would be in a place where I could easily find it.
"It wasn't really the doorbell itself. I heard the sound of a car outside."
"Nevertheless."
As inconvenient as my blindness is at times, I'm thankful for the fact that it has honed my sense of hearing to a greater degree. Speaking at length still tires and discomforts Father, but as long as he keeps his voice down to a whisper, he can communicate without it hurting too much. That does mean people other than me are forced to ask him to repeat himself every two sentences or so.
"Has Mister McLaughlin gotten settled in there?"
"Yes. I've made sure to serve him some tea and left the water boiler and a supply of tea bags in the study so he can make some additional tea for himself if he feels like it. I also asked him to knock and wait for me to come out rather than walk into this room if he needs to talk to us. He's currently on the phone with his fellow administrator, but he said everything will be ready in half an hour."
"So we still have about half an hour... of time to kill."
"Would you like to rest for a little bit more?"
"I do not think I would... be able to sleep in the current situation. But perhaps you could give... me another bowl of your hot soup. It is truly on... par with the rest of your cooking."
"I will."
I walk over to the corner of the room where a small electric stove is keeping the large pan of miso soup that I made this afternoon to get us through the night warm with its single heated plate. I went through a lot of effort to make the soup myself, but the result is apparently quite pleasing to Father. I fill a bowl with the contents of the pan, slowly walk back to the bed and carefully place it in Father's hands.
"Let's hope everything goes well, and we'll have no difficulties."
" Mister McLaughlin seems capable enough. We... should be fine."
My thoughts return to the talk we had with him earlier today.
"Father, may I ask something?"
"What is it?"
"What did you think of his proposal?"
"To handle his duties in here instead of from the office? I am not... overly fond of others using my private study... without me being present, but his suggestion was the most practical and riskfree one."
"I understand, but there was something that caught my attention."
"You are referring to the way he brought it up, are you... not?"
"If his words offended you, you did a good job of hiding it."
Father lets out a self-deprecating sigh.
"Welcome to western civilization, Lilly. It is quite... a different world over here."
"I imagine."
"A subordinate telling his superior that he 'has a better idea', especially in... the presence of others, would be a massive transgression in our home country. But westerners... are a lot more tolerant and sometimes even encouraging when it comes to questioning or challenging... people in positions of authority. As long as the challenge has merit... and is voiced in a civil way, it is deemed acceptable and the person being challenged... is expected to acknowledge it without feeling slighted or shamed. I was told in advance to expect this, but... it takes some getting used to. It helps to realize the people here weren't... brought up with our value system. I think... I would probably still expect Japanese employees to stick to our own etiquette."
That probably explains why he puts up with an employee making him lose face in front of his family without even a change in heartbeat while I get put on prohibition for falling asleep in the wrong place.
"Are there any other Japanese working here besides Akira?"
"None that I know of at the... moment. We have good relations with several universities... in the region, so there has been little need to borrow talent... from the Japanese office. People from here sometimes travel to Japan and we get visitors from their branch, but we are not involved in each... other's day-to-day activities. This branch was... initially only intended as a production plant. Assembling and later also manufacturing the equipment that was sold to our clients in the region here... was cheaper than producing it in Japan and then shipping it to Europe. Eventually... it started picking up more and more... customers and became a full-fledged sister company. The board... has been playing with the idea of sending managers from the Japanese branch here to make them familiar... with this part of the company, but did not want to immediately replace the Scottish managers who have been doing a good job serving this company for years. I became... manager of this branch six years ago because that was when the former local manager here retired, and I could take his place without pushing away someone else. One of my tasks was to... test which aspects of Japanese management style could be succesfully implemented here and which ones would merely... cause frustration. You cannot just lead... a western company like... a Japanese one or a Japanese company like a western one... and expect it to work out."
"That sounds like a tough job. Japanese management style and company culture are very different from the western one, aren't they?"
"They are. Japanese... management emphasizes loyalty and insight gained through... seniority, long-time goals, risk avoidance, maintaining harmony and decision-making through well-crafted consensus. Western management emphasizes quick... returns on investment, individual decisiveness, efficiency and calculated risks. Many times the... two seem incompatible. I have found that many people... here often do not have the patience for sitting in meetings for hours on end until a consensus is made on how... to deal with a problem. Westerners... also have a very different definition of company loyalty than Japanese, and that is not something you can ignore when leading a company."
"I'm sure both cultures have their merits."
"Hmmm... It was not really my intention to complain. There is something interesting about the carefree way... they can go about their lives without the burden of what others... might or might not think of them. They also admittedly handle diversity a lot better than we do."
I wonder if that's truly a touch of envy I hear for a moment. I feel a bit taken off guard by his words.
"That's a rather frank assessment..."
"On the other hand, many could... be more loyal. You would be surprised how... many western managers seem unwilling to impose a... pay cut on themselves while their company is going through hard... times. Too many people, workers and managers alike, only seem to be in... it for themselves. It is hard for me to understand that attitude. I... try not to condemn them though. Nor am I saying that their culture... is better... or worse. I believe it is best to keep an open mind about the differences... between our society and theirs. It would be very difficult for... me to lead a branch consisting of almost nothing but Scotsmen and... deal with American businessmen on an almost daily basis if I let everything about western culture get to me."
I suppose what he says makes sense. When moving to another country, it's logical to try and adapt a little to fit in with the local people better. It just feels a little off to hear my father, who I've always seen as very traditionally-minded, say these things. It clashes with the image I had of him. I initially thought it was just Mother who changed during her time here, but perhaps Father has changed in his own subtle way as well.
Still, managing a company with a completely different business culture must have been a very harrowing job for Father, and I'm starting to suspect that the stress he's been under may have been caused by more than just social pressure to live up to his own father's accomplishments. His job here has probably been sapping a lot of his energy from the very beginning. That would explain why the doctors said that he's had high blood pressure for years.
"It still sounds like it must have been very stressful for you. How do you think Akira will handle the culture shock?"
"I think she will... do fine. Your sister can be very straight-forward when... she feels she needs to be and westerners value that trait as long as... it is combined with a modicum of respect. Young people tend to be more adaptable to... begin with. I suspect she will do a better job at integrating... into western culture than I could ever hope to do. I have... heard that her transferring here required some sacrifice, but I feel... fairly confident that in the long run she will not regret her decision to move here."
"Ah... Father? About that..."
"Yes?"
"Were you... very disappointed in me when you learned I decided to stay in Japan?"
"Hmmm..."
There's a long pause after I pose my question, and for a moment I'm starting to suspect he's not going to answer in order to avoid hurting my feelings. But just before I can apologize for asking him, he answers.
"When we invited you and Akira to join... us here, I used to believe that if anyone would reject our offer, it... would be Akira rather than you. I was... rather shocked when your mother told me the news. But, on the other hand..."
"Y-Yes?"
"...From what I have heard from... you about your life in Japan over the last two weeks, I know that you had your life set up well there. You had a school... you enjoyed attending, a position of responsibility among... your classmates and friends you enjoyed spending time with. All of those are valuable things. To... give all of that up, just to make a brand new start on the other end of the... world in a country with a culture completely different from your own... is quite a gamble."
"Father...? Are you saying...?"
"All I am saying is that while it is most regrettable that you decided to stay there, I do understand why you chose to do so."
"I..."
I don't know what to say for several seconds. What I feel right now is a strange mixture of relief and befuddlement. I've always assumed that Father would be dismayed by the fact that I turned down the summons. He was always the one who would talk to us about the benefits of respecting and deferring to your elders. Did he start getting second thoughts about having me move here?
"Thank you for your understanding, Father."
"Lilly. Mister... McLaughlin. Good afternoon."
I can tell that he's doing his best to speak at normal volume. Since speaking too loudly or even breathing too deeply is still painful and very exhausting, I doubt he will last very long. There is, however, no doubt in my mind that he'll do whatever it takes to make certain his colleague won't notice.
"Good afternoon, sir. How are you feeling?"
"I am well... thank you. I apologize for the delay."
"Not a problem. Your daughter's an excellent host."
I wait until he's seated, pour him a glass of fruit juice and hand it to him.
"Would you like some more tea, sir?"
"I haven't finished my first cup yet, but thanks."
He scrapes his throat.
"I'll try not to take up too much of your time. Shall I start explaining how we've set up things?"
A short pause before responding. I know that Father prefers to start meetings off slowly with some polite small talk and that getting down to business immediately feels rude to him, but at the same time he seems to remember the importance of saving his strength.
"Please proceed."
02
"First of all, I notice there's a wireless network set up here. I can log the laptop onto it, but I will need the network password."
"Please... check under... the table."
I hear a the sound of fingers probing the underside of the table surface.
"Ah! A network cable. I didn't realize that table leg was hollow. That'll do fine too."
I hear a soft click as the cable he spoke of is inserted into a device on the table.
"Looks like we have a connection to the web. This laptop here runs the conference software we've installed. This little unit next to it is the transmitter for the wireless headset. The headset should be able to pick up the signal from just about anywhere inside the house. I also have a normal headset ready on the off chance of the transmitter failing."
"I... beg your... pardon, but do... you have... a spare head... set?"
"Would you like someone else listening in too?"
"If... she is... interested."
I realize that Father's talking about me. I was planning to remain by his side this night, but I didn't expect being given a chance to actually listen in. I doubt I'll understand much of what's discussed, but this is quite the chance to hear my parents 'working'.
"I'd be honored, Father."
"I have several more headsets back at the office. I'll stop by there and fetch one later this evening."
"Thank you."
"This laptop is part of a pair. Alec took the other one along to the US. He has a transmitter just like the one here, except it's connected to a collection of microphones. Since some of those meetings the upcoming week will be held over dinner, we felt that putting a teleconference unit on the table might be cumbersome. The microphones we'll be handing out to the participants are the small, unintrusive kind. You clip them onto your lapel and then forget they are there. They have a noise filter too, so you shouldn't have any problems making out what is said even if there are other discussions going on nearby, and if the volume is too soft, the conferencing software has the ability to amplify the incoming voices."
"That is good. After... all, I will not... be able... to ask them to... repeat themselves."
"That's true. Everyone in the room will be getting a microphone, but only your oldest daughter will have an earphone, so she'll be the only one who can actually hear you."
Akira's job will be to act as Father's proxy. If, at any point, Father wants to bring up his own points, he will mention them to Akira and it'll be her task to relay them to the rest of the room.
"We also took the possibility into account that people might want to share documents. Alec has a small scanner with him, and I have a wireless printer in the trunk of my car. Any documents or graphs they want you to look at can be transferred from there to here in a matter of moments."
"Quite convenient. I... suppose all that is... left is to ex... plain to me how to set... up the connection."
"I think I actually have a better idea, sir."
"..."
I silently cringe. I'd be very surprised if Father didn't take that as an insult and the fact that I'm present here as well probably only made things worse. But to my surprise, there isn't even a subtle change in tone when my father answers.
"What exactly... did you... have in mind?"
"Well, I was thinking about changing the plan and being present here myself to operate the equipment. I could get things running over here while you and your daughter can relax in the room of your choosing and leave the technical stuff to me. You can focus on the meetings while I keep the connection running, handle the receiving and printing of incoming scans and immediately jump in in case of a malfunction."
"You would... work from this room... then?"
"Yeah. I can take over and control the laptop from my desk at the office, but in case of technical issues I'd still need to drive over here, and that could take up to 10 to 15 minutes. If I'm allowed to handle things here, that will also mean there won't be any need for me to spend time teaching you the ropes about setting up the connection and working with the software."
"...Very well then."
"Great. I believe the first meeting is set to take place at ten o' clock our time, so I could be here at nine to set things up. We'll have plenty of time to run some tests and talk to our guys on the other side."
"It has... decided then."
Sensing that there's not much more business to discuss, I take advantage of the moment of silence to address Father's colleague.
"Can I pour you another cup of tea, sir?"
"Just one then. I don't want to impose on you longer than necessary."
--------------------------------------
"Should I take the printer out of my car now or is it just going to get in the way?"
The meeting ended with a minimum of small talk, and I have taken it upon myself to see our visitor out while Allison guides Father back to the master bedroom."
"Is there a need to do... something... with it before it can be used?"
"No. Your father can turn it on and press the connect button and my laptop will find it as long as it's within range. I assume you'll want to remain in a bedroom upstairs this evening?"
"Yes, it would indeed be most convenient if he remains in bed. If you leave the printer in the hallway, our housekeeper will take it upstairs."
I hear the sound of the trunk opening and then being slammed shut. After putting his cargo in the hallway, he walks up to me again.
"I could tell he was straining himself earlier on. I'll set your dad's microphone's output volume a little higher than usual so he won't need to raise his voice as much. I have a buddy who broke a few ribs in a rugby match once, and he spoke in little more than single syllables while he was recovering. It's a real pain when you can't breathe well."
"Thank you for going through the trouble of accommodating him."
"Don't sweat it. I'll be back in a few hours."
I remain near the front door until the sound of his car's engine is no longer audible and then make my way back inside. Father is probably resting right now, which gives me time to get started on today's dinner. This is probably going to be a long night, so it'll be best to be well prepared.
--------------------------------------
03
"I did not even hear the doorbell. Your sharp... sense of hearing never ceases to amaze me."
I smile humbly upon re-entering the master bedroom after briefly going downstairs to let the system administrator in and making certain he was provided with a cup of tea. The housekeeping staff all went home two hours ago, but Allison made sure that everything she thought I'd need for tonight would be in a place where I could easily find it.
"It wasn't really the doorbell itself. I heard the sound of a car outside."
"Nevertheless."
As inconvenient as my blindness is at times, I'm thankful for the fact that it has honed my sense of hearing to a greater degree. Speaking at length still tires and discomforts Father, but as long as he keeps his voice down to a whisper, he can communicate without it hurting too much. That does mean people other than me are forced to ask him to repeat himself every two sentences or so.
"Has Mister McLaughlin gotten settled in there?"
"Yes. I've made sure to serve him some tea and left the water boiler and a supply of tea bags in the study so he can make some additional tea for himself if he feels like it. I also asked him to knock and wait for me to come out rather than walk into this room if he needs to talk to us. He's currently on the phone with his fellow administrator, but he said everything will be ready in half an hour."
"So we still have about half an hour... of time to kill."
"Would you like to rest for a little bit more?"
"I do not think I would... be able to sleep in the current situation. But perhaps you could give... me another bowl of your hot soup. It is truly on... par with the rest of your cooking."
"I will."
I walk over to the corner of the room where a small electric stove is keeping the large pan of miso soup that I made this afternoon to get us through the night warm with its single heated plate. I went through a lot of effort to make the soup myself, but the result is apparently quite pleasing to Father. I fill a bowl with the contents of the pan, slowly walk back to the bed and carefully place it in Father's hands.
"Let's hope everything goes well, and we'll have no difficulties."
" Mister McLaughlin seems capable enough. We... should be fine."
My thoughts return to the talk we had with him earlier today.
"Father, may I ask something?"
"What is it?"
"What did you think of his proposal?"
"To handle his duties in here instead of from the office? I am not... overly fond of others using my private study... without me being present, but his suggestion was the most practical and riskfree one."
"I understand, but there was something that caught my attention."
"You are referring to the way he brought it up, are you... not?"
"If his words offended you, you did a good job of hiding it."
Father lets out a self-deprecating sigh.
"Welcome to western civilization, Lilly. It is quite... a different world over here."
"I imagine."
"A subordinate telling his superior that he 'has a better idea', especially in... the presence of others, would be a massive transgression in our home country. But westerners... are a lot more tolerant and sometimes even encouraging when it comes to questioning or challenging... people in positions of authority. As long as the challenge has merit... and is voiced in a civil way, it is deemed acceptable and the person being challenged... is expected to acknowledge it without feeling slighted or shamed. I was told in advance to expect this, but... it takes some getting used to. It helps to realize the people here weren't... brought up with our value system. I think... I would probably still expect Japanese employees to stick to our own etiquette."
That probably explains why he puts up with an employee making him lose face in front of his family without even a change in heartbeat while I get put on prohibition for falling asleep in the wrong place.
"Are there any other Japanese working here besides Akira?"
"None that I know of at the... moment. We have good relations with several universities... in the region, so there has been little need to borrow talent... from the Japanese office. People from here sometimes travel to Japan and we get visitors from their branch, but we are not involved in each... other's day-to-day activities. This branch was... initially only intended as a production plant. Assembling and later also manufacturing the equipment that was sold to our clients in the region here... was cheaper than producing it in Japan and then shipping it to Europe. Eventually... it started picking up more and more... customers and became a full-fledged sister company. The board... has been playing with the idea of sending managers from the Japanese branch here to make them familiar... with this part of the company, but did not want to immediately replace the Scottish managers who have been doing a good job serving this company for years. I became... manager of this branch six years ago because that was when the former local manager here retired, and I could take his place without pushing away someone else. One of my tasks was to... test which aspects of Japanese management style could be succesfully implemented here and which ones would merely... cause frustration. You cannot just lead... a western company like... a Japanese one or a Japanese company like a western one... and expect it to work out."
"That sounds like a tough job. Japanese management style and company culture are very different from the western one, aren't they?"
"They are. Japanese... management emphasizes loyalty and insight gained through... seniority, long-time goals, risk avoidance, maintaining harmony and decision-making through well-crafted consensus. Western management emphasizes quick... returns on investment, individual decisiveness, efficiency and calculated risks. Many times the... two seem incompatible. I have found that many people... here often do not have the patience for sitting in meetings for hours on end until a consensus is made on how... to deal with a problem. Westerners... also have a very different definition of company loyalty than Japanese, and that is not something you can ignore when leading a company."
"I'm sure both cultures have their merits."
"Hmmm... It was not really my intention to complain. There is something interesting about the carefree way... they can go about their lives without the burden of what others... might or might not think of them. They also admittedly handle diversity a lot better than we do."
I wonder if that's truly a touch of envy I hear for a moment. I feel a bit taken off guard by his words.
"That's a rather frank assessment..."
"On the other hand, many could... be more loyal. You would be surprised how... many western managers seem unwilling to impose a... pay cut on themselves while their company is going through hard... times. Too many people, workers and managers alike, only seem to be in... it for themselves. It is hard for me to understand that attitude. I... try not to condemn them though. Nor am I saying that their culture... is better... or worse. I believe it is best to keep an open mind about the differences... between our society and theirs. It would be very difficult for... me to lead a branch consisting of almost nothing but Scotsmen and... deal with American businessmen on an almost daily basis if I let everything about western culture get to me."
I suppose what he says makes sense. When moving to another country, it's logical to try and adapt a little to fit in with the local people better. It just feels a little off to hear my father, who I've always seen as very traditionally-minded, say these things. It clashes with the image I had of him. I initially thought it was just Mother who changed during her time here, but perhaps Father has changed in his own subtle way as well.
Still, managing a company with a completely different business culture must have been a very harrowing job for Father, and I'm starting to suspect that the stress he's been under may have been caused by more than just social pressure to live up to his own father's accomplishments. His job here has probably been sapping a lot of his energy from the very beginning. That would explain why the doctors said that he's had high blood pressure for years.
"It still sounds like it must have been very stressful for you. How do you think Akira will handle the culture shock?"
"I think she will... do fine. Your sister can be very straight-forward when... she feels she needs to be and westerners value that trait as long as... it is combined with a modicum of respect. Young people tend to be more adaptable to... begin with. I suspect she will do a better job at integrating... into western culture than I could ever hope to do. I have... heard that her transferring here required some sacrifice, but I feel... fairly confident that in the long run she will not regret her decision to move here."
"Ah... Father? About that..."
"Yes?"
"Were you... very disappointed in me when you learned I decided to stay in Japan?"
"Hmmm..."
There's a long pause after I pose my question, and for a moment I'm starting to suspect he's not going to answer in order to avoid hurting my feelings. But just before I can apologize for asking him, he answers.
"When we invited you and Akira to join... us here, I used to believe that if anyone would reject our offer, it... would be Akira rather than you. I was... rather shocked when your mother told me the news. But, on the other hand..."
"Y-Yes?"
"...From what I have heard from... you about your life in Japan over the last two weeks, I know that you had your life set up well there. You had a school... you enjoyed attending, a position of responsibility among... your classmates and friends you enjoyed spending time with. All of those are valuable things. To... give all of that up, just to make a brand new start on the other end of the... world in a country with a culture completely different from your own... is quite a gamble."
"Father...? Are you saying...?"
"All I am saying is that while it is most regrettable that you decided to stay there, I do understand why you chose to do so."
"I..."
I don't know what to say for several seconds. What I feel right now is a strange mixture of relief and befuddlement. I've always assumed that Father would be dismayed by the fact that I turned down the summons. He was always the one who would talk to us about the benefits of respecting and deferring to your elders. Did he start getting second thoughts about having me move here?
"Thank you for your understanding, Father."
Last edited by Guest Poster on Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Sisterhood: True Edition. Hanako epilogue I wrote. Now expanded with additional chapters.