Tripping

[Mirage_GSM]

And here's the "regular" chapter for this weekend:

*****

Day 1, 20:30
There is a loud clattering sound to my left. I carefully stop walking and look what happened, though I have a pretty good guess already. Right. I dropped my luggage. I fucking HATE this wreck of a body!

I find my feet and turn around. Bend my knees... Where's my hand? Ah there... Extend arm. Grip the handle. Close fingers. Straighten knees...

„Do you need help?“

The unfamiliar voice startles me, and as I look up I promptly drop the suitcase again. Fuck! I decide to leave it on the ground for now and turn towards the voice instead.

„I'm sorry, did I startle you?“ It's the new boy who joined our class after summer break.

„No problem, I really could use some help... Yoshida, is it?“

He smiles. „Please call me Kenta.“ He extends his hand. Bummer. I look down my right side to find my hand. As I finally manage to raise it, Kenta is already starting to withdraw his hand. I raise my head to see his expression. He looks hurt. Maybe he thinks I don't want to shake his hand...

„No, it's okay. I just need a few seconds.“ Get a grip girl! You can do this. I repeat the process, until my hand reaches his, and with a sense of accomplishment I clasp it. Pathetic. I managed to shake his hand and am proud of it. „I'm Mai, nice to meet you.“

His handshake is very soft, as if he's afraid he might break me.

The introductions done, he bends down to pick up my suitcase and effortlessly pulls it along with his left hand, while his right hand is pulling his own. Of course it's effortless. It's only myself who has problems with stuff like that.

„So... Shall we go? The train will leave in about half an hour.“

„It's okay, it's not that far to our platform.“

I frown, but quickly glance to the ground so he doesn't see it. It might not be far, but it will still take me a while to get there. Fortunately I can handle simple walking quite well by now, if I'm not distracted. I look at my legs and start walking, Kenta falling into step besides me.

We walk along in silence. I'd like to chat, but I have to concentrate on walking. Kenta seems to struggle for a topic. „Is there anything down there?“

I stop dead in my tracks and look up at his face, trying to decide if he's making fun of me, but there's only genuine puzzlement there. Puzzlement which is rapidly making way for dread.

„I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that, I...“

I sigh – a bit too audibly maybe. He obviously doesn't know about my 'problem', so I'd best get it out of the way right now. I walk two steps to the next wall and lean against it in a way that I hope looks casual. I don't usually fall over in a conversation, but I'd rather save myself the embarrassment. Then I turn back to Kenta, who is looking at me with tense expectation. „So what do you think is wrong with me?“

Whatever he was expecting, this wasn't it. He turns beet red and starts to fidget. „Well... I thought... maybe some kind of partial paralysis... or something like that?“

Time for a demonstration. I look for my left hand and bring it up to my belt where I hook in my thumb. Then I look for my right hand and bring it up as well. With both hands in clear sight I start doing a complicated set of gestures I copied from some anime show. It took me ages to learn to do this, but the looks on people's faces when they see me do it would make it worth the effort – if I could look up to see them.

I look up. „Do they look partially paralyzed to you?“

His face has become even redder. I hope he doesn't have some kind of heart problem like that Hisao guy Rin was talking about. Better to stop teasing him. „Relax. Actually that's what most people think when they see me.“

„So what's...“

„Close your eyes!“ He hesitates a second, but does as he is told. „Now stretch out your arms and touch your nose!“

He does so effortlessly, evoking a bout of jealousy in me. „I'm not drunk, if that's what you're thinking.“

„I know, but how did you do that?“

He looks at me confusedly. „What do you mean?“

„You didn't see your hands, yet you could use them to touch your nose. How did you do it?“

I see him pondering the question but coming up blank. „I have no idea,“ he finally admits.

„Have you ever heard of something called 'proprioception'?“ He shakes his head. „Me neither until two years ago. It's a sense just like sight, smell, touch, hearing or taste. It grants you an awareness of your body. You know where your limbs are even if you don't see them.“

Understanding dawns on his face, so I continue. „What I have is something called 'Proprioception Deficit Disorder' or 'Descartes' Disease'. It basically causes my brain to forget that I have a body. Nobody knows how or why I got it. Nobody knows what to do about it. Sometimes it goes away on its own after a few years, sometimes it doesn't.“

I see him trying to assimilate all the information. „So, when you looked down at your feet earlier...“

„...It was so I don't stumble or fall down. I don't know when my foot will hit the pavement, so I have to observe it with my eyes.“

„What about when you touch something?“

I cautiously take a step away from the wall, and move my left hand up to touch it. „If I closed my eyes now I could tell that there was a wall somewhere within one meter of me, but I couldn't tell if it was in front of me or behind me.“

I lift my gaze to find him looking at me. Pity? No, I've seen pity before. This is something else, but before I can further analyze it, he averts his gaze embarrassedly. „Uhm... I'm sorry for earlier. I must have seemed like a jerk.“

He's kind of cute when he is like this. „No harm done. I have yet to meet anyone, who has heard of this disease before, excluding the neurologist my doctor sent me to. But we should get a move on, or we'll miss the train. I can't run, you know.“

As we walk the final steps and rejoin our classmates at the platform, Kenta's gaze keeps popping up in my mind. I find myself looking forward to getting to know that guy better in the coming days...

*****

Next up: Ooki

[CPU]

Another great chapter! I hadn't even heard of that disease before. What are the odds I'd learn something from here?
I can't wait to find out how Ooki views the world.

[Mirage_GSM]

Mai's condition is real if extremely rare.
I cannot guarantee my description is accurate, though, because first hand accounts are hard to find. I learned about the condition from here, and it remains one of the best sources I could find on the topic.

[AapoAlas]

Just for your reading pleasure here's another good place to read up on Proprioception Deficit Disorder. It actually resembles Mai's case so much that I was certain this was the place Mirage more or less "copied" Mai's character from. I'm surprised to find that that seems to not be the case.
Anyhow, it's a scientific article about two cases of PDD. Very informative all in all but maybe a bit of a heavy read.

[Mirage_GSM]

Very interesting, but going from the title I wouldn't have expected the article to be about PDD.
The person described therein lost not only his sense of proprioception, but also the "normal" sense of touch. Note that Mai retains that.

[Mirage_GSM]

Time for the next chapter. Enjoy

*****

Day 1, 22:00
„No can do, Leon.“ I take Leon's backpack and throw it on the other bed. „Can't you see I'm much too fat for just one bed? I'll need both beds on this side.“

He laughs and Hisao joins in. It's not really a problem. These compartments are made for four people and we are only three, so it's actually quite spacious, but I made Leon laugh, and I always count that as a personal victory. He is always much too tense about everything.

After we boarded the train we just threw our luggage into our compartments and immediately went to the dining car to have a late dinner. It was actually quite good, compared to the stuff you usually get on trains, but the servings could have been bigger. We only just returned here and started to make ourselves comfortable.

„You shouldn't have eaten double servings, Ooki,“ Hisao teases me. „Then you wouldn't have to worry about the bed breaking down beneath you.“

„Oh, I know how to solve that problem.“ I push my suitcase beneath the bed. „See, now it's supported from beneath, and I can sleep peacefully.“ Actually my peaceful sleep is hardly assured, but I don't even need to mention that.

I sit down on the bed. It creaks slightly, and I make a show of wincing, but I know it is certified for more than my 125kg.

„Case... er... break?“

„Actually, that is a good objection, Leon.“ I pull the suitcase back out and take out a collection of chocolates. „There's nothing fragile in there, but I wouldn't want my emergency rations to get squashed.“

Smiling, I offer a handful of candies to my friends which they graciously accept.

There's a knock on the door, and two seconds later it slides to the side revealing Emi and Rin.

Emi immediately spots the sweets in my hands and shoots an accusatory glance Hisao's way. „Hisao, what's that you're eating there?“

Hisao is frantically trying to swallow, so I answer for him. „Strawberry Kit Kat. Want one? I also have Red Bean and Ginger Ale flavour.“

Emi shoots me a disgusted look and turns to Hisao. „You know you shouldn't eat stuff like that. It's bad for you.“

Now Hisao looks annoyed as well. „Come on, it was just...“

„I'll take one.“

Emi turns around and looks at Rin in surprise. „What?“

„I'd like to try one. Red Bean flavour sounds interesting.“

I suspect Rin's sudden interest in chocolate bars is more or less a ruse to cut short the brewing domestic quarrel between Hisao and Emi, but I place the candy box on the small table in the middle of the room.

Rin sits down on the empty bed, deftly takes one and tries to remove the wrapper. This seems to be a bit difficult using only her feet, but eventually she manages and takes a bite, chewing extensively.

She sits there thinking before venturing an opinion. „This is good. May I try another?“

I gesture at the box, signalling my assent, and Rin grabs a Ginger Ale Kit Kat.

Emi sits down next to Hisao, their quarrel already forgotten.

Meanwhile Rin has finished her second Kit Kat bar, proclaiming it tasty as well and is reaching for a third. She is becoming better with the wrappers as well, taking ever less time to reveal the chocolate beneath.

She must really like those candies, for she shows no signs of stopping. As I watch in awe, she continues eating, and the pile of wrappings on the table grows larger and larger.

I've lost count of how many Kit Kat bars she has devoured by now. Somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder if I really had that many to begin with, but does it really matter?

All those candies are beginning to have an effect by now. Rin's usually scrawny figure becomes more and more bloated until her bulk has doubled, then tripled. I want to tell her to stop, that eating so much is dangerous, but all I can do is watch in fascination.

She is almost as fat now as I am myself. This can't be good! I have to...

„BAM! I was lying face down in the sand, and that was the last time I ever tried long jump... Oh I'm sorry Ooki, did I wake you?“

Gradually my mind adjusts to reality again. I focus my sleepy eyes on Emi. „Yes, you did, but it's okay, I probably wouldn't be able to sleep at all this night if you hadn't.“

I turn my head to look at Rin, who is still sitting on the bed next to me – scrawny as ever – and looking at me with a curious gaze.

„Say, Ooki, do you have enough dreams for all the time you're sleeping?“

Images from my dream pop up in my head, and I feel my face flushing red. „Uh, yes, usually I do.“ I try to avoid the subject as best I can.

„You know, you're very lucky. I often try to dream more, but I can't seem to manage falling asleep. Of course people always tell me, I dream even when I am awake, but somehow it's not quite the same...“ She looks at me as if she expects some deep insights from me.

„I... I think I know what you mean.“ I don't know, if that is true, but I forge ahead anyway. „Dreams you have while you're awake are much more... ordinary.“ Though I'm not sure if that is true for Rin as well. For all I know she could be having crazy dreams all the time.

Rin seems to give that some serious thought. „Maybe you're right. So you have a lot of unordinary dreams then?“

„Well, guess you could say that, but there are also times when I can't sleep at all.“

Rin nods sagely. „I know. I have those, too. It's worst during math lessons, because Mrs. Tamamura has such a grating voice.“ She sighs as if the inability to sleep through math lessons were a terrible burden for her to bear... Maybe it is.

„Did you ever try to paint your dreams?“

„No, I can't draw anything but stick figures. When I was younger I tried to write them down for some time, but I stopped somehow.“ That was when my little brother found my dream diary, and I was subjected to five weeks of ridicule.

„Rin... ah... and paint... Ooki.“

„Great idea, Leon!“ Hisao turns to Rin. „Why don't you have Ooki tell you about his dreams and you paint them.“

Rin tilts her head to the side. „I don't know. Why don't I?“

Hisao ignores the question. „Ooki, were you dreaming of anything just now?“

„Uh... Let's wait until we're in Teshikaga. Rin doesn't have any canvas here, and I'm sure I'll have other more unordinary dreams until then.“

„But...“

I'm saved by a knock on the door. “Come in!”

The door opens, and Mr. Nomiya stands in the corridor. „It's quarter past eleven. Girls, back to your compartments. The train is not going to wait for you if you oversleep.“ He tries to look strict but fails horribly.

Emi looks disappointed, but doesn't protest. She and Rin say their goodbyes and two minutes later we're on our own again.

„Well, I guess I'll get ready for bed.“ I grab my toilet bag and head for the tiny lavatory. „I think I'm still a bit sleepy.“ That part is a lie, but it should prevent Hisao and Leon from asking further about my dream...

*****

next: Ikuno

[moonpalace]

You are a truely brilliant writer.

Do you edit your work many times or does your streamlined, elegant prose simply flow forth like a beautiful stream from the unfathomed depths of your creative mind?

Those paragraphs where Rin begins eating more and more chocolates really drew me in. You built up and sustained the suspension of disbelief by starting with such a simple idea and cleverly developing it untill "BAM!" and I literally felt I was poor Ooki, sharply awakened from the sublime surreality.

Fanastic work unlocking the potential power of first person perspective. Eagerly awaiting your next installment.

.*edit- I forgot to mention, I had a real sense of that feeling which I have often experienced in the hypnopompic state. It was quite captivating.

[Mirage_GSM]

I don't know wheter I would call myself 'creative'. In fact the creative part of writing is the one that is the hardest for me...
Before I started writing the story, I chose the characters, made a few notes about personal backgrounds and read up on ther illnesses/disabilities. I have a broad concept of what should happen in the story, but the small stories in each chapter are what's truly difficult. I usually spend a few days just going through the possibilities in my head.
Once that is done, the actual writing is relatively easy. Takes me no more than one or two hours to write down one of those chapters with little to no editing.
After that I might spend another few hours debating the placement of a comma with my editors, but what that has taught me about English grammar is invaluable

Of course, some characters are easier to write than others. Ooki is very fun to write, though the dream sequence was a bit tricky. I might comment on the hard to write characters once we get to their scenes.

[Petermeter]

Heh, the comma discussion was one thing where I learned about my mistakes, too. Not that I'm gonna change because of that
Anyways, Ookis chapter was one of my favourites so far, so I thought I'd comment on it, too.

[AapoAlas]

,

I think it should be about there.

[Mirage_GSM]

Guess what? Time for another scene (These are a bit to short for me to call chapters...)

*****

Day 1, 23:00
I insert the test strip into the glucose meter and wait for the results. One hundred and twenty-three... A bit high, but since dinner was very late today, this is to be expected. Not enough to justify another dose of insulin.

My fingertips hurt a bit. Maybe I should switch to taking blood from my forearm for a time. It's harder to get enough blood from there, but it's less painful in the long run, and it gives my fingertips time to heal.

I just used up the last test strip from the packet, so I open a new one and calibrate my glucose meter to the new batch. There's 50 strips in there, which should be enough to last me until we're back at Yamaku with a few to spare. If not, I'm sure I'll find a pharmacy somewhere in this town we're staying in.

Satisfied I repack my instruments, carefully disposing the bloodied needle and test strip into the container.

I open the door to the lavatory and step back into our compartment. Lilly is already in her nightgown, but Hanako shows no intention of changing. I bite back a sigh. That girl is so exasperating at times. She's acting like she's the only one with problems. She really needs to get herself a boyfriend – preferably soon.

Better not suggest that to her directly, though, or she might faint on me. „You can use the bath now, Hanako.“

She only nods, quickly squeezes past me and disappears into the lavatory. She's probably even going to change in there...

It's much too cramped in there for me to even consider that. I make sure the compartment door is locked, take out my nightgown and start undressing.

Lilly isn't saying anything, so I try to make a little conversation. „This train journey must be pretty hard for Hanako.“

Lilly turns towards me. „Yes, but Okinawa and Kyoto would have been even worse, and in our youth hostel there will be double rooms. I don't think I could have convinced her to come otherwise.“ She smiles ruefully. „It's not because of you, Ikuno, please understand.“

This time I don't bother hiding my sigh. „I know, Lilly, but sometimes I think what she really needs is someone to give her a piece of their mind and a good shellacking.“ I notice Lilly's expression and add, „Don't worry, I'll restrain myself.“

I finish changing, when a thought occurs to me. „Say, Lilly, do you believe Hanako is going to be able to sleep with me being in the compartment?“

She hesitates. That and her expression are answer enough for me. „I thought so. Well, don't worry, I'll find someplace else to sleep." I grab my bed sheets and head for the door.

„Where are you going?“

„Well, I certainly won't bother Mizuki and Misaki, but I don't think Emi, Rin and Mai will mind if I stay in their compartment.“

I can physically feel her relief when Lilly smiles at me. „Thank you, Ikuno.“

„Well, chances are, I wouldn't have been able to sleep here either, with her fidgeting around all night. See you tomorrow.“ I open the door and step into the empty corridor, hoping she didn't hear the embarrassment in my voice.

I tiptoe along the corridor until I stand in front of the other compartment and knock. I hear rustling inside, and a few seconds later the door slides open.

Rin is standing there and stares at me vacantly. She turns her head. „It's only Ikuno.“

„I'm sorry I'm only me.” I try to sound annoyed, but fail to keep the grin from showing on my face. „Now, can I please come inside before Mr. Nomiya or one of the nurses comes along?“

Rin steps to the side, and I hurry into the compartment. Its three inhabitants look at me and the bed sheets I'm carrying with curiosity. „Did Lilly and Hanako throw you out?“

„Nah, I just figured staying here with you would be a lot more fun.“

Mai grins. „You're damn right about that. Now we just have to hope the twins don't freeze out Nanami, or it will really get tight in here.“

I drop my stuff on the empty bed and start arranging it. „If you ask me, those three are just perfect for each other."

„Don't say that. Nanami is not half as bad as those two conceited gits,“ Emi protests.

I give her a sour glance. „Why not? She's almost as bad as Hakamichi, always running to the teachers and complaining whenever someone breaks a rule.“

„It's not like that!“ We all turn to Mai in surprise. I've never heard her being so vehement about anything before. She blushes a little from all the attention and continues meekly. „It's just... She has a good reason for what she does.“

„And what might that be?“

Mai looks me in the eye with new determination. „I promised her not to tell anyone, okay?“

I decide to let it drop. It's not like Nanami ever caused any problems to me personally. I finish preparing my bed and slip inside, flipping the light switch before I settle in.

For a few seconds there is no sound except for the regular rumbling of the train. Then Mai's voice breaks the silence. „Say, Emi, you've been talking to that new boy, Kenta, during the drive to the station, haven't you?“

„Yup.“ I can practically hear a grin spreading over her face.

„What did you talk about?“

„Oh, nothing much,“ Emi replies nonchalantly. „He seemed lost and didn't know anyone, so I told him who was who in the group. I also asked him to join the track and field team, but he declined.“

„Hey, don't you go keeping all the new guys for yourself,“ I interrupt in mock annoyance. „You already got the last one. How about it, Mai? Interested?“

The embarrassed silence is answer enough. Before Mai is able to think of a reply Emi chimes in. „So I wasn't mistaken when I saw you two flirting at the platform.“

„We weren't flirting.“ Mai's protest is rather weak. „Did... Did he say anything else?“

„Well, he moved here two weeks ago with his mother.“ She hesitates for a moment, then continues. „He's at Yamaku because of Asthma. No idea how bad. Any more, you'd have to talk to Hisao. I tuned out of the conversation once they started talking about books.“

Time to let Mai off the hook... „Speaking of Hisao, how are the two of you doing?“

Now it's Emi's turn to be embarrassed. „Fine... I mean... Is it that obvious? We didn't advertise...“

„Oh come on, you'd have to be blind and deaf not to notice. So when did you start dating?“

„A week before the holidays.“

„And?“

„And what?“

„Don't play dumb Emi. You know damn well what I'm talking about. How far did you go?“

„Well, we... kissed.“

„Nothing more?“ I try to keep the disappointment from my voice.

„We're taking it slowly, okay?“ For a moment I think she's going to add something, but she stays silent.

„The problem is not in his pants, if that's what you think.“ Damn, that came out of the left field. Rin has been so quiet all the time that I thought she was already asleep.

For a few seconds you could hear a pin drop, then Mai starts giggling. „Well, Emi, that's one thing less you have to worry about.“

[DMGnome]

„The problem is not in his pants, if that's what you think.“

Oh Rin.

I really like these light little slice-of-life scenes. I have to ask, though, what's up with the quotation marks?

[Mirage_GSM]

Those are due to open office. I didn't even notice that until SC pointed it out, because German quotation marks always look like this.
I recently switched to Word and now there are English quotation marks when I set the document language to english. I didn't bother to go through the whole text to replace them though. So the quotation marks should change three or four chapters from now.

[Silentcook]

I recently switched to Word

I'm SO sorry. Nobody should be subjected to that, ever.

:3

[Mirage_GSM]

Don't blame yourself too hard. I didn't change because of the quotation marks.
Rather Calc was missing a few funtions I've grown rather fond of, so I changed to Excel.