By Sword and Cane

WORDS WORDS WORDS


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Broomhead
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By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

Well... if you've come back. I just don't know what to say. I appreciate the feedback I got from the community earlier when I was making this. That said, I also feel like this kinda went nowhere... fast. I may pick this up at a later date, when I can get my nose out of my school and focus a bit more on this. But, until then, this is a closed project.

I apologize to anyone who is let down by this.

Chapter Directory

Yaara Aesho
Prologue - Sidestep
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Act 1 - Flurry
Chapter Three


Takeshi Degaro
Prologue - Ningen (Human)
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Act 1 - Idol
Chapter Three


Duria Nodi
Prologue - Ink
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Act 1 - Sun
Chapter Three


Norman "Tsukami"
Prolouge - Hemophobe
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Act 1: Bothach
Chapter Three


Nursing Logs
Nurse Ueda's Log - Student Headcount
Excerpts From Nursing Meeting #625
Nurse Yusa's Log - Stronger Meds
Last edited by Broomhead on Sat Jul 04, 2015 12:45 am, edited 21 times in total.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

Yaara Route: Chptr. 1

The morning started just like any other day. She was combing her hair with one hand and shaking the hairspray with her other. Every now and then, a knot would catch and she’d gently tease it out. Still, she’d grimace as the brush pushed against her palm. Finally, her hair was flat and she began spraying it. The mist filled the room, and she held her breath. Soon, her blue hair was perfect. The majority was pulled back and to her left, but, unavoidably as she knew, a few clumps broke free and marred her face. She left the bathroom, and began walking to her garden. The short metal rods she used were waiting by the door, and there was a beaten tree, full of dents from previous sessions. Her foot had barely touched the first step when her mother’s crystalline voice came from the kitchen.

“Yaara! Someone sent you some mail. Is this ‘Duria’ a friend of yours?” Yaara looked up at the ceiling. Ever since her dueling accident, her parents had barely let her outside for anything, even school. Of course her mother knew that she only had 2 friends aside from long gloves.

“Nope.” She said.

“Shame. They’re really nice to send paper-mail. It feels kinda heavy, I’ll put it with your breakfast.” Her mother responded. Yaara was halfway down the stairs at this point. She was going to try to avoid her mother and get outside before eating breakfast.

“The garden is locked and I have the keys. You need to eat.” Yaara deflated almost immediately. Of course, she lived with her mother for 17 years. She could barely do anything without her permission. She practically stomped the rest of the way down the stairs, although she knew her mother didn't care. As she sat down, she looked at the plate in front of her. Rice and sushi. Her favorites. Her mother was going to try to convince her to do something. She looked longingly out the glass door at her practice tree. One of the rods was leaning against the trunk and the other was on the ground. Another conversation about fencing, she thought. She’s not going to give up on this, is she. It felt like the entire summer was her mother trying to make her give up fencing one way or another. A simple treat like this happened almost every week now. She enjoyed the food, and the occasional trip to the countryside, but it was getting tiring. She couldn't trust anything her mother gave her, because it was always loaded with an argument afterwards. She slowly picked at the rice, occasionally swallowing it. Her mother sat down at the table and handed her the envelope. She picked it up and pulled it open, slowly. She was curious now. There was no comment about how dangerous fencing was from her mother. And her mother didn’t even look like she was thinking about what to say. The “letter,” as it turns out, was a brochure. The glossy cover had a picture of two students in uniform leaning against a huge black iron gate. It was strange, one of them had black glasses on, and the other was clutching a large cane in his hand. Across the bottom was inscribed the name, Yamaku Academy. Her mother was looking across the table with a confident look on her face, but she ignored her. She opened the tri-fold, and a torrent of words came shooting out. She carefully read each one. Words seemed to flow together, phrases like 24 hour nursing staff and Comprehensive classes for the deaf and blind seemed to pop out at her though. “A school for cripples?! What’s wrong with you!” She fumed at her mother, nearly knocking over her water in the process.

“What?! Let me see that.” Her mother grabbed the brochure and began reading it. Yaara finished her rice then pushed away the plate and glared at her mother. “I didn't want this to be sent… looks like one of your teachers gave them our address. Promise me you’ll at least think about it though?” Yaara got up and walked up the stairs into her room. Her mother wanted to send her to a school where cripples were sent to disappear. That, and she was lying as well. She looked down at her left hand, and a tear came to her eye. The blackened skin and thin fingers was disappointing. No amount of surgery could fix the bones inside of her arm, leaving them brittle and thin. Her skin was tender and blackened, so she always wore long gloves in school. The tear fell onto her hand, stinging as the salt touched the skin.

-1 Week Later-

“I’ll go.”

“What?”

“To Yamaku, or whatever it was called. I don’t want to see the same old kids again. They’re asses.”

“Well… that’s a relief. I’ll schedule an appointment with the principle.”
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Mirage_GSM »

“Well… that’s a relief. I’ll schedule an appointment with the principle.”
That would be hard to do... An appointment with the principal might be feasible, though.
The chapter could do with a few more linebreaks and some more editing, and it might have been better to include the background information in the story instead of a preface.
Other than that it's an okay start. Not too much to say about story or characters yet...
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

Thanks!

Yeah... my mother is (and her parents before her) an English teacher, so, of course, I can't homonym or see the hidden meaning behind "Peter Pan."
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AntonSlavik020
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

Like Mirage said, not much to say about the characters yet, but I will be following this. I like it when stories are from a girl's perspective, so that helps.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

Takeshi Route: Prologue

Bzzt.

Bzzt.

Too early. The clock had woken him too early. It was vibrating on his chest rather vigorously. He lazily turned it off, not wanting to wake his grandparents. he lifted himself out of bed, and looked around his room. An entire crate of cosmetics in one corner, and a table with numerous metallic bits and pieces. Last night, he was trying to rig up an alarm that would turn on his lights rather than just vibrate. He walked to the box of cosmetics, and pulled open the first drawer. A small label, “Basic” was on the handle. He planned to spend the day tinkering again, so he didn't need any hair dye or the more fashionable prosthetic. He pulled out a simple leg-blade for walking around the house, then slid it on. He slowly opened his door, then nearly ran into his grandfather.

*Ah, Takeshi. Good to see you up. Your grandmother wants to speak with you.* Grandfather raised his eyebrows while he signed this. He usually wasn't up this early, but whatever grandmother had wanted to talk about made him get up early to warn the boy. Takeshi quickly stuck his finger into his ear, turning his cochlear implant on. his grandfather’s sign language was fairly good, but it lacked the gusto his real voice did. “Ah-ha! Good to see you've remembered the batteries on those.” Grandfather smiled and stomped his foot.

“Heh. I haven’t forgotten for at least two years now.” Takeshi barely turned on his implants anymore. Grandmother was university teacher for the deaf, and grandfather had a mathematics degree, so he had been home schooled for the past two years. He walked down the hallway, into the atrium. There was a bowl of miso soup for him, right next to a small muffin. It was unusual for grandmother to cook, so he gladly sat down and began to sip at the soup. After a couple of sips, he made eye contact with his grandmother, signalling he was ready to talk.

*Good morning grandson, how is your soup?* Grandmother’s hands were quick and light, but she knew Takeshi could read them.

*Delicious, thank you, Grandmother.* She pushed a brochure across the table, then continued eating her portion of soup. He picked it up slowly in one hand, bringing the half-eaten muffin up to his mouth as he looked at the cover. The glossy brochure felt cool in his hands. Two students in uniform, one with scarlet, obviously dyed hair and a rose-tinted monocle, and another with the stance of a prosthetic leg. Yamaku Academy. he had heard of it before, perhaps from Mae, a friend of his. He opened the tri-fold, his curiosity piqued. A quick skim of the first page soon gave him an idea of the school. “A diverse community of students, like Duria, 1-6’s class representative!” Near the bottom of the page, the same scarlet-haired girl leaned against a door labeled 1-6. Attractive, perhaps, but certainly not anything to write home about. Continuing his skim, he saw the other student on the cover was the class representative of 2-6, and that the school was located on a hill about 3 hours from his house.

He quickly finished the brochure, put it down, then finished the soup. *Interesting. Would you like to send me there?*

*You have reached the end of my curriculum. It’s the best option to continue your education.* His grandmother smiled as she signed this. Takeshi was a quick learner, and she said that teaching him was easily better than any one-on-one session with one of her students.

*Very well. I’ll pack up the workbench and prepare for the drive.* Being in a car made Takeshi nervous, something about the hum of the engine under him and the seat slowly adjusting around his back.

-Alucard Cerbes
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Okay a few minor things and some immersion breakers:

- We seem to have a character with multiple disabilities again. Deaf, lost a leg and whatever it is with his hair. Try not to overdo it.

- As far as I know a legplate is made specifically for running, not for a casual walk around the house. Not even Emi puts on her legblades outside of training.

- If he has working implants, why doesn't he turn them on???

- I'm not 100% sure about Japan's position on home-schooling, but I have a feeling it is not as lax as the US might be...

- I don't think Yamaku would put a sixteen year old on a brochure with her name. Japan is known for some creepy things, but that's just... No.

- I assume the end is just about a short visit to have a look at the campus and he's not packing up and moving first thing after breakfast...
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

Mirage_GSM wrote: - We seem to have a character with multiple disabilities again. Deaf, lost a leg and whatever it is with his hair. Try not to overdo it.
As far as I know Yaara only has the burned arm. Nothing more.
Yeah, Takeshi's a bit screwed in that department. I'd explain it in detail, but I'll let you see.
- If he has working implants, why doesn't he turn them on???
He spends large amounts of time with a workbench. That, and his house is probably fairly quiet since his grandmother is deaf.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

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Duria: Ink

Welcome to Paradise, Your favorite grave

A pen clattered to the floor as her alarm went off. She’d been typing and designing the invitations to Yamaku since noon yesterday, her alarm going off meant it was seven o’clock in the morning on the next day. Nineteen hours, she forgot to eat dinner and was now going to stumble down to breakfast. If she was lucky, she may actually make it down the hall without being noticed. Her hair fell down around her, the scarlet dye bringing a smile to her face. Putting on a dark rose monocle, she opened her door, adjusted her shirt, and stumbled out the door.

Much to her surprise, neither her mother nor her sisters had awoken yet. Whatever divine force kept them asleep, she thanked silently and walked down the hall. Her mother was a professional makeup artist that had worked on most of the big movies, as well as a few minor films that paid extremely well. Because of her success, Duria’s mother groomed each of her children to be a grand successor. The eldest of the family had already gone to cosmetology college with a full payment from a film he’d be doing the make-up for. Her little sisters worked costumes and special effects, while Duria handled hair. This way, her mother could bring the cast to the house and have them all ready in record time. Of course, Duria hated this, as teenagers are often resentful of being forced to do anything. She thought of this as she went down the hall, almost tripping over an unconscious actor on her way to the kitchen.

Avoiding the drunken antagonist, she slowly opened the door to the kitchen, which gave her a dreadful sight. The director, obviously in a misguided stupor, had opened and emptied the entire pantry, then passed out on the floor. Sighing, she quickly grabbed a small bottle of smoothie, and crept back to her room. This time, however, she was caught by antagonist.

“Duria, sweet… please, get me a smoothie? Or your mother… perhaps she could make some breakfast.” The man was lying on his back now, his hands under his head. The noise of his words woke the director. Judging by the sharp crack of skull on metal, he was hungover and disoriented. Duria nodded to the antagonist, then snuck to her mother’s door. A small circle-shaped flower icon indicated the orator was on, so she slowly unlocked the door and peered in.

“Let me guess, Roger and Stein have woken up and want breakfast? Darling, you must be more quiet in the mornings! And look at you, circles under your eyes like some accountant or lyricist.” Her mother’s eyes were wide open, and she had some of her signature coffee in one hand. Her other was delicately, but firmly, placed over the mute button for the orator. Any questions the device heard would be searched thoroughly, then answered as best the device could. it helped mother find new movies to work for, and Duria’s little sisters with homework, but was also easy to hack. As such, it was muted when not in use.

“Fine then. Don’t answer me. I’ll go and make breakfast.” Quickly whispering something unintelligible into the orator, her mother walked out of the room, and closed the door behind her.

“Every student at Yamaku Academy who wishes to join the student council may either apply as an interested party or elected as a student representative for their class. Each student representative from a previous year may run for the offices of treasurer, secretary, vice president, or event planner. The elections for next year’s president will be held mid-way through second semester. Please report to the council office on the first day of school if you wish to run for any position. The document is signed by a Science Director Mutou and a History director Aedric.” The orator’s voice setting was kind and fatherly sounding.

Although her mother cared little for Duria’s career as a student council member, she often helped Duria with events. The brochures, for example, were assigned to Duria because her mother had accepted the task when most other students were still in class. Of course, the ensuing argument about trust and privacy nearly shook the house down. Taking a quick swig of the now mostly-warm smoothie in her hand, Duria walked down the hall to her room. As she sat down in her chair, she sent the brochure files to Mutou and Aedric.

She leaned back, a smoothie in her hand and one thought on her mind. How do I get to be president next year.
Last edited by Broomhead on Sat Oct 25, 2014 1:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
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AntonSlavik020
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by AntonSlavik020 »

You can take a quick swig of a smoothie? Maybe if it melted, which is what I guess you meant by it being mostly warmed. Besides that, all I really have to say is Daria is an unusual name for a Japanese girl, unless she's foreign and I missed that somehow.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

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AntonSlavik020 wrote:You can take a quick swig of a smoothie? Maybe if it melted, which is what I guess you meant by it being mostly warmed. Besides that, all I really have to say is Daria is an unusual name for a Japanese girl, unless she's foreign and I missed that somehow.
I immediately thought of a certain kind of fruit available in south-east Asia. But more seriously, this particular scenario seems way too non-KS for me.
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Broomhead »

brythain wrote:
AntonSlavik020 wrote:You can take a quick swig of a smoothie? Maybe if it melted, which is what I guess you meant by it being mostly warmed. Besides that, all I really have to say is Daria is an unusual name for a Japanese girl, unless she's foreign and I missed that somehow.
I immediately thought of a certain kind of fruit available in south-east Asia. But more seriously, this particular scenario seems way too non-KS for me.
Brythian: Ding Ding Ding, yes, it was partially inspired by the durian fruit. If you want to specifiy what you mean by non-KS, tell me. I'd be happy to know. (This chapter does take place at her home, not at the dorms.)

Anton: Yeah, the meltiness was implied. Although, in my area, you can sip a smoothie at most temperatures by just tipping the cup past a certain degree.
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Re: By Sword and Cane

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Broomhead wrote:Brythain: Ding Ding Ding, yes, it was partially inspired by the durian fruit. If you want to specifiy what you mean by non-KS, tell me. I'd be happy to know. (This chapter does take place at her home, not at the dorms.)
By 'non-KS', I mean that if you removed mention of 'Yamaku' and 'Mutou', you wouldn't have any cultural or sociological or any other kind of cue to tell you this took place in the KS universe. It could just as well take place in Canada or Hong Kong or Sydney. It's a good test to try, or at least, I think so. However, it is your own auctorial voice, so that's up to you. I've been told about the non-KS-ness of some of my own work too, so yes, it is a bit of a subjective evaluation and not something that has to necessarily be of concern to you. Cheers!
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/AkiraHideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of SuzuSakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
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Re: By Sword and Cane

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brythain wrote: By 'non-KS', I mean that if you removed mention of 'Yamaku' and 'Mutou', you wouldn't have any cultural or sociological or any other kind of cue to tell you this took place in the KS universe. It could just as well take place in Canada or Hong Kong or Sydney. It's a good test to try, or at least, I think so. However, it is your own auctorial voice, so that's up to you. I've been told about the non-KS-ness of some of my own work too, so yes, it is a bit of a subjective evaluation and not something that has to necessarily be of concern to you. Cheers!
Ah! Yeah, I can totally see that. I'll admit, this one focuses a bit less on her disability than Yaara and Takeshi.
(I'd love to see an Australian KS. I'd imagine (no offense to Australians) it'd have a bit less birth defects and a bit more amputation because you got bit by (insert random animal here).
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Re: By Sword and Cane

Post by Mirage_GSM »

So I take it those three stories are supposed to be part of the same narrative?
So far the overlap has been negligible...
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