Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Eurobeatjester]

I was the same as you before I got out of high school.

I didn't really come out of my shell until university. That's the great thing - there's nobody but you holding you back to be the person you want to become.

[Bluegaze]

Well, I wish it were that simple but I am afraid it isn't. As I haven't really had anyone close for years, I somehow can't see how I am going to find such a person.
Having had holidays for few months, and basically staying home for whole days I have been thinking about this situation more and more. Finding KS two weeks ago didn't help either, having played it just made me realize what I missed, and probably lost the chance to have, as universities, as far as i know, aren't a place that you can easily socialize at, compared to how middle or high schools are (especially ones like Yamaku, with dormitories and such). And other than to school, I am not really going out.
Man, I just hope that going back to school routine, studying and such will get my mind off these things, as it did before.

[bhtooefr]

Also, I'd say it's worth everyone in this thread reading this... http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

[metalangel]

Well, this was a nice thread while it lasted...

[Broomhead]

Well, this was a nice thread while it lasted...

Well, I mean, it only gets filled when we have a new member. Recruitment is rather low, so the lulls would obviously degrade. Hopefully we get an influx eventually.

[ogorhan]

Well, this was a nice thread while it lasted...

Well, I mean, it only gets filled when we have a new member. Recruitment is rather low, so the lulls would obviously degrade. Hopefully we get an influx eventually.

Well hopefully it is not more of "those" types then.

[Broomhead]

Also, I'd say it's worth everyone in this thread reading this... http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

Eeeh... I agree with her to some degree. TBH, I may classify as both a nice guy and Nice Guy occasionally.

I am not rude to every one I meet, but I'm also not willing to talk unless you have something important/interesting to say. I will warm up to someone I want to or can connect with. That is basic human interaction. So... if opening up to someone you like and/or want to like you is dickish, sue me. I don't think it's evil, but I test as Kira 90% of the time on anime personality tests. I also have a "Huge Chip on my shoulder" about Middle School. Not against the female gender, but it definitely affects how I act. I offer dating advice as well. If someone talks about their boyfriend being a dick constantly, I will just say, "Doesn't matter what he says or how he'll change next week, dump him. You are not responsible for him." I don't imply they should date me. And of course, if a girl turns me down after a relationship, depending on the circumstances, I may or may not talk to her again. I'm fine with just being friends, but if they do something heinous, or if I grow to dislike them, then I will burn the bridge.

I suppose it just comes down to judging intent, in that case. I'd just like to warn that "Nice Guys" and nice guys are often two sides of the same coin, +/- a few motives or life experiences.

[bhtooefr]

And, as she points out, there's definitely a spectrum of nice guy to Nice Guy, and people have elements of both.

[azumeow]

, as universities, as far as i know, aren't a place that you can easily socialize at, compared to how middle or high schools are (especially ones like Yamaku, with dormitories and such). And other than to school, I am not really going out.

Oh, you could not be further from the truth. I've met some of the most kind, understanding and friendly individuals at my University. Now, I only met them because I joined a club dedicated to gamers and nerds, but I love them all like a second family.

If your University has ANY clubs like that, join them. You will be so, so happy.

[LilyKitsune]

Anyway, since we've run out of quality replies I'll add some further reading, then be off

"I couldn't actually come up with a real reply to someone who doesn't buy into manipulative fear, insecurity, and indignation, so I'll just be dismissive"

My, if you can't support it against real dissent, is it really that strong of a philosophy?

[brythain]

This is Hanako's Broken Heart Club, not Kenji's Broken Heart Club.

Oy! Don't insult Kenji. At heart, he's just a heartbroken kid who would completely sympathise with Hanako.

[brythain]

Anyway, since we've run out of quality replies I'll add some further reading, then be off

"I couldn't actually come up with a real reply to someone who doesn't buy into manipulative fear, insecurity, and indignation, so I'll just be dismissive"

My, if you can't support it against real dissent, is it really that strong of a philosophy?

It's a fragile philosophy based on thinking that humans are somehow unable to overcome biological urges while miraculously thwarting the biological mainstream. Inconsistent. Also, very slave-owner kratistic.

[Eurobeatjester]

Well, I wish it were that simple but I am afraid it isn't. As I haven't really had anyone close for years, I somehow can't see how I am going to find such a person.
Having had holidays for few months, and basically staying home for whole days I have been thinking about this situation more and more. Finding KS two weeks ago didn't help either, having played it just made me realize what I missed, and probably lost the chance to have, as universities, as far as i know, aren't a place that you can easily socialize at, compared to how middle or high schools are (especially ones like Yamaku, with dormitories and such). And other than to school, I am not really going out.
Man, I just hope that going back to school routine, studying and such will get my mind off these things, as it did before.

The best piece of advice I can give when it comes to issues like that is something I really wish I knew ten years ago. Took a long time to click because of the constant fear of the "yeah, but..." mentality.

Issues like this are only as simple or as complicated as you choose to make them.

There may be some sort of mental block or issue that you could use the help of therapy or medication, but a lot of times that's pretty rare and is more often used as a fallback excuse for when something doesn't work out.

Not saying that's your case, but if you've decided you want to remake yourself, the only one holding you back is you. There will never be a set of ideal circumstances that most people sit around and wait for...so why wait?

[Bluegaze]

Well, I wish it were that simple but I am afraid it isn't. As I haven't really had anyone close for years, I somehow can't see how I am going to find such a person.
Having had holidays for few months, and basically staying home for whole days I have been thinking about this situation more and more. Finding KS two weeks ago didn't help either, having played it just made me realize what I missed, and probably lost the chance to have, as universities, as far as i know, aren't a place that you can easily socialize at, compared to how middle or high schools are (especially ones like Yamaku, with dormitories and such). And other than to school, I am not really going out.
Man, I just hope that going back to school routine, studying and such will get my mind off these things, as it did before.

The best piece of advice I can give when it comes to issues like that is something I really wish I knew ten years ago. Took a long time to click because of the constant fear of the "yeah, but..." mentality.

Issues like this are only as simple or as complicated as you choose to make them.

There may be some sort of mental block or issue that you could use the help of therapy or medication, but a lot of times that's pretty rare and is more often used as a fallback excuse for when something doesn't work out.

Not saying that's your case, but if you've decided you want to remake yourself, the only one holding you back is you. There will never be a set of ideal circumstances that most people sit around and wait for...so why wait?

I guess you're right. Thanks for advice, it surely does make sense. Nevertheless, I am not sure whether I will be able to do that, I really am apprehensive of such situations, and I am afraid of any kind of change, even if I sometimes I want it.
Anyways, thanks.

[Zarys]

Also, I'd say it's worth everyone in this thread reading this... http://divalion.livejournal.com/163615.html

Eeeh... I agree with her to some degree. TBH, I may classify as both a nice guy and Nice Guy occasionally.

I am not rude to every one I meet, but I'm also not willing to talk unless you have something important/interesting to say. I will warm up to someone I want to or can connect with. That is basic human interaction. So... if opening up to someone you like and/or want to like you is dickish, sue me. I don't think it's evil, but I test as Kira 90% of the time on anime personality tests. I also have a "Huge Chip on my shoulder" about Middle School. Not against the female gender, but it definitely affects how I act. I offer dating advice as well. If someone talks about their boyfriend being a dick constantly, I will just say, "Doesn't matter what he says or how he'll change next week, dump him. You are not responsible for him." I don't imply they should date me. And of course, if a girl turns me down after a relationship, depending on the circumstances, I may or may not talk to her again. I'm fine with just being friends, but if they do something heinous, or if I grow to dislike them, then I will burn the bridge.

I suppose it just comes down to judging intent, in that case. I'd just like to warn that "Nice Guys" and nice guys are often two sides of the same coin, +/- a few motives or life experiences.

Well that's the point of the article that many men have a nice guy tendency and this is not something monstrous.
The only problem with this concept is that it can create a paranoia against people who are just awkward without being wicked, example : sometimes when a girl call a guy "creepy", he is really creepy, but some girls call every guys that they find not good enough for them "creepy", soo, it varies.

I also see what the article means about the "Friendzone" but some women want to be "friends" with all the guys they have dated but rejected (and I can understand that hang out a woman as a friend when you love her is too painful, what is wrong with that ?), or even are more ambigous to enjoy the dates paid by the guy....Life is more complicated than "nice guys against sllut girls" and there are weird manipulators of each sex.

And honestly, most people who are bad in seduction , are just less attractive and eloquent than most people; their personality and kindness is completely out of it. (Most people I know in this case are just unattractive and have poor shape because of things they can't fix)